Chapter 5: Are You Conscious?
Author's Note: There is no note this time. Buahahaha. x3 Enjoy the insanity, folks.
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Jill opened her eyes. She wasn't in her own bed. She wasn't on her crop field. She wasn't even in her own house. As far as she knew, she wasn't anywhere she'd ever been before.
She got out of the bed and stretched, feeling much less tired now that she'd slept. But the question still remained... where was she exactly?
Suddenly a voice behind her spoke. "Are you conscious? Jill?"
Jill spun around and looked at the guy standing there. He was wearing a doctor's uniform and could have been considered pretty hot.
Unfortunately Jill was too confused to bother with that thought.
"Hmmm... I wonder!" she snapped, the sarcasm so thick in the air that it became hard for anyone to breathe. "Two questions. Who are you and HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?"
"You passed out because you worked too hard," the doctor said. "You need to take care of your body."
"It'll be you who has to take care of your body after I'm through with you," she snarled. "And why does everyone in this town express no fear whatsoever?"
The doctor shrugged. "I dunno. I'm just following the script."
Jill looked in the narrator's direction. "What is the matter with these people?"
I don't know. Just carry on.
Jill sighed. "Okay, fine! Geez."
Before she could carry on, however, Jill was interrupted by a flashing light and a strange musical sound, accompanied by another gigantic note-blob which sprung up in front of her face. She screamed, fell backwards, and hit her head on the hard metal bedpost nearest to her. All the while, there were words floating in the air, seeming to have come out of nowhere.
"Limitation Note - You failed and fell down. Nice job, wimp." The doctor blinked. "Guess the scriptwriter got lazy."
Meanwhile, Jill had passed out cold on the floor.
Again.
That was anticlimactic.
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Jill opened her eyes. She wasn't in her own bed. She wasn't on her crop field. She wasn't even in her own house. As far as she knew, she wasn't anywhere she'd ever been before.
She got out of the bed and stretched, feeling much less tired now that she'd slept. But the question still remained... where was she exactly?
Suddenly a voice behind her spoke. "Are you conscious? Jill?"
Jill spun around and looked at the guy standing there. He was wearing a doctor's uniform and could have been considered pretty...
"Aw, crap. Not you again! GET THE ---- OUT OF HERE!" shrieked Jill, lunging at the doctor before the narrator could finish their sentence. "Give it a rest. You read that part already anyway."
The doctor stared at Jill in the meantime. "You think I'm hot?"
"What? No, dangit!" Jill proceeded to bang her head against the wall repeatedly.
"Hey, don't do that! Banging your head against the wall isn't good for your body!"
Jill proceeded to scream.
"Screaming isn't good for your body!"
Jill whipped out her axe and lunged at the doctor, her eyes glowing red.
"Killing things isn't good for your - oh, ----."
Jill raised the axe above her head and let out a fierce battle cry, running in spastic circles around the room and hacking everything in her path. She ransacked the medicine cabinets, punctured the feather bed, and tore holes in the curtains.
Alex cowered in the corner, his eyes wide with fear.
"Oh, so that's his name!"
Yep. Sorry for not mentioning it sooner.
"I could have told you if you had asked!" protested Alex.
"Can I keep trying to kill Alex now?" Jill asked sweetly, batting her eyelashes.
Okay. Carry on.
Jill finally managed to catch Alex. She swung the axe straight into his middle, laughing maniacally as...
"Hey! How come you're not dying?"
He can't. This story needs to be kept PG, you know. I can't just have you hacking people apart and swearing.
"So that's why my ----ing curses are ----ing censored with ----ing line things." Jill grimaced.
Besides, that's not the way it works in Flower Bud Village. People just lose hearts when you do that.
"Oh." Jill scratched her head, dropping the axe to her side. "Well, if that's the case..."
She hacked away at a bemused Alex with the axe a few more times, then stepped through a monstrous hole created in the wall and bid him farewell.
"See you later, sucker!"
Ah, young love.
"Shut the ---- up."
Fine.