It was unbearable.
And by it, she meant everything.
Laura paused in her pacing for a moment to look up at the clock on the wall of Chief Tyrol's office. She had been waiting here for almost an hour! She had landed on Galactica almost an hour and a half ago. Closing her eyes against the claustrophobic rumblings in her stomach, she wrapped her arms around herself and told herself to breathe.
In. Out.
Her father had once told her that breathing deeply was the answer to every problem in the universe.
In. Out.
Breathe deeply, count to ten, Laura. If that doesn't work, try it again.
In. Out.
Her father didn't know what he was talking about.
Bracing herself on the back of the chair she had been using, she looked longingly over at her briefcase. The relief she needed was right there. All she had to do was go over, open the briefcase, and take care of the pressure. Once or twice would do the trick until she could get the hell off this ship and return to her own. Looking out the slightly open door at the bustling deck crew, she briefly considered asking Cally where the nearest private facility was.
She quickly discarded the idea.
In. Out.
She could control it while she was here. Once the meeting actually started, she knew it wouldn't take long at all. Colonel Tigh had been extremely considerate while writing up the report, posting short but detailed explanations where he thought she might need them. As a result, she didn't have many questions. She could get through this meeting without resorting to drastic measures.
In. Out.
Her silent pep talk was brought to an end by the sound of cooing from the crib that had been wedged into the corner of the office. Drawn by the noises of Cally and Galen's son, Laura found herself moving over to the crib just in time to see him pull himself into a sitting position. Nicky looked around, blinking, and his face broke into a wide grin as his eyes fell on her. The pressure eased as she offered a hand to him. Nicky made a grab and cackled happily when he came up with her finger.
She smiled. "You've been working on your grip." she informed him quietly, bringing her other hand over to stroke his dark hair. His eyes followed her movement and he squealed excitedly, pointing at her bracelet. "Oh, you want the shiny?" she asked, pulling her sleeve up slightly and showing him her silver bracelet.
Laura let him play with the bracelet as she stroked his soft hair, sighing. "You're such a good boy for your mama and dad, aren't you?" she asked, dropping a kiss on the top of his head before straightening up. He squawked in protest and the icy stranglehold over her own heart eased a bit as he smiled up at her. There was total devotion, total trust, in that tiny face with his infinitely wondering eyes.
She knuckled away a tear she hadn't even been aware of. "Don't trust me, kid. I'll lead you to ruin."
She started to turn away, only to be stopped by another squeal, this one louder and more demanding. When Laura looked back, he had raised his arms and was waiting expectantly. Laura only hesitated a moment before leaning back in and picking him up. Letting out a shaky breath, she settled him against her chest, feeling him relax against her. His small hand fisted around the material of her suit jacket and as he laid his head on her shoulder with a small sigh, she suddenly felt as if the hollow emptiness in her wasn't quite so bad right now.
A lump formed in her throat as she swayed with him, moving her hand to support his head quietly. "You're such a happy little man, aren't you?" she murmured, gnawing furiously at her own lip. "Hold onto that and you'll be lucky. Your parents love you so much."
Nicky's head shifted on her shoulder and she moved her hand slightly to compensate, crooning softly. He sighed, a sound of utter contentment, and Laura sighed with him, sagging against the Chief's workbench. She'd need those facilities after all.
The quiet moment was broken in the worst way possible as the door on the opposite side of the room flew open and someone blew in, calling for the Chief. Every part of Laura shrank away when she realized who it was.
"Hey, Chief, there's a-"
Helo stopped in his tracks, a sneer of utter contempt appearing on his face as he realized who was in the Chief's office.
Laura straightened immediately, her arms tightening protectively around Nicky.
"Well, look who it is." he said coolly, though his eyes were virtual twin bonfires of anger. "C'mere, Nicky." He took the baby from Laura, ignoring Nicky's squeals of protest and settling him on his hip. "You're okay, see? I won't let her do anything." He then turned on Laura angrily. "What the frak do you think you're doing? Stealing one baby's not enough?"
Grinding her teeth together, Laura followed her father's advice one more time. "The Chief graciously offered me his office to prepare for a meeting with Admiral Adama and Colonel Tigh. Nicholas woke up and since he didn't seem upset, I didn't see any point to interrupting his mother."
"Yeah, sure." Helo remarked. "It's easier when the parents aren't in the room, is it?"
For that, Laura had no answer. She looked away from him.
"Nothing to say?" Helo asked.
Laura looked him right in the eye then. "Anything I say to you right now is worthless." she replied. "I'm hardly in the habit of wasting my time."
"Try me." Helo challenged, shifting a suddenly fussy Nicky to his shoulder.
Laura sighed, clearing her throat. "I very much regret the pain my actions caused you and your wife. I made the best decision I could with the facts I had at my disposal-"
"Oh, save me that particular song and dance!" Helo exploded, startling Nicky. The baby began to strain his arms back towards Laura, finding his current guardian lacking. "Do you even know what happened to the woman you tricked into adopting my daughter?"
Sirens began to go off in Laura's head as her heart started beating faster. Shaking her head, she made a grab for her briefcase. Helo blocked her way, moving closer towards her. She backed away a step, her shoulders stiffening. This was one of Bill's men. Surely he wouldn't…
"Not interested?" Helo asked, his face twisting into a mocking grin. "One of the Boomer models told Sharon all about it. All about the woman who kept Hera in your school for you. You know she survived the exodus from New Caprica. Too bad no one bothered to make sure Maya… That was her name, right? Maya? Too bad no one bothered to make sure she made it to a ship."
Laura's stomach dropped as Helo's words set in. Oh, lords. Not Maya. Please, merciful lords, not sweet, generous Maya. Had she really left Maya to the Cylons? None of the men Anders had assigned to guard Maya and Hera had made it off the surface. Crossing her arms over her chest, Laura backed up even further, shaking her head even as her chest began to heave with gasps.
"Yeah, that's right." Helo took the advantage and followed her backwards. "Do you even care that you left this woman, who trusted you with her life, to face the Cylons and she didn't even know why? You didn't even tell her the danger her life was in because she took Hera."
"No," Laura twisted around, leaning on the table as the pain hit. Fingernails digging into her palms, she shook her head. It couldn't be. The gods wouldn't visit her sins on Maya, whose only sin was one of ignorance.
"The Cylons found her and Hera. She tried to stop them from taking Hera from her. You know, before they killed her, they told her everything." Helo snarled at her. "She died down on that planet, alone and forsaken. She probably cursed your name before they executed her."
"That is enough!"
Cally Tyrol fairly charged into the office, having overheard the last bit of Helo's tirade against the President. Half-shocked, she snatched a whining Nicky away from him, wheeling on him in a protective fury. "I told you before I don't want you, or your Cylon, or your Cylon baby anywhere near my son!" she snapped at him, snuggling her son close to her, rubbing his back and trying to soothe him.
"Oh, but you'll let a confessed kidnapper near him." Helo said sarcastically. "Great parenting there, Cally."
"Don't you even start with me, Helo." Cally challenged him. "And I don't care how nice your wife tries to be, there is no way my son is coming anywhere near your daughter!"
"Cally, please." Laura cut in. This situation was unacceptable. "I understand your reluctance, but Hera and Nicholas are the only two children who are remotely the same age on this ship. If you don't let them interact-"
"Shut up, you hypocritical bitch!" Helo advanced upon her menacingly, pointing at her. "You do not fight my daughter's battles for her!"
Before Laura even had a chance to flinch away from him, a pair of hands shot out, one grabbing Helo roughly by the neck and the other grabbing his arm, twisting it behind his back. Jack Reynolds dragged the officer back, away from his boss, and slammed him against the wall.
"You wanna try that again, Captain?" he hissed in Helo's ear. "Make one more move towards her and you'll regret it. I haven't had to fight a life and death fight since New Caprica and I'm just itching for one."
"Get your hands off me." Helo snarled, and then yelped as Jack's hold over his neck tightened.
"Walk out of here." Jack ordered him, marginally loosening his hold. "Walk out of here and do not approach her again. I'm warning you."
"You don't give me orders on this ship!" Helo shot back.
"Jack, let him go." Laura stepped up to the two men, laying her hand on Jack's arm. "Jack, please. Do you really believe he intended to harm me? Admiral Adama and Colonel Tigh will be here any moment and I don't want to explain this scene to either of them."
"Madam President?" Chief Tyrol poked his head in the door, looking around. Seelix had alerted him to the raised voices in his office and he had high tailed it over in a hurry, out of concern for both his son and the President.
"A word of advice, Chief." Helo remarked as Jack shoved him away. "You might not want to leave your son alone with baby-stealers."
Silence reigned as he stormed off.
"Did he just say what I think he just said?" Tyrol asked as Cally came closer to him, still trying to calm Nicky. "Did he really go there?"
"Why shouldn't he?" Laura asked faintly, still reeling from the news about Maya.
Jack noted her shaken state and took her forearm gently. "Are you all right, ma'am?" he asked. "Should I have your meeting rescheduled?"
"Of course I'm all right." Laura snapped, yanking her arm away from his. Wrapping her arms around herself, she allowed herself a self-depracating shrug. "He didn't say anything that wasn't true."
"Madam President, you should tell Admiral Adama about this." Cally put forth softly. "This isn't the first time you've had a run-in with that jackass."
"I can handle Captain Agathon." Laura replied. "The admiral isn't to be involved. And neither is Colonel Tigh."
"But-" Cally started to protest.
"Please respect my wishes, Cally." Laura interrupted her, then turned to the Chief. "Chief, would you please point me to the nearest facility? I'd like a moment to myself before seeing Admiral Adama and Colonel Tigh."