Part 7

She took a seat in his office and waited for him to do the same. He shut the door, letting her know this wasn't going to be a simple what the hell were you thinking conversation – though it may start out that way. He took the seat at his desk. "Sara… last night…"

"I know…it was stupid. I was unprofessional and I…"Before she could continue he stopped her.

"Sara…it was self destructive. Not only physically but professionally you are really taking a beating" He was arguing, he didn't even seem mad and that was what made all this worse. He was concerned – she couldn't even look at him so she diverted her eyes to the floor. "I know you've had it rough the past couple of months but… you can't keep going on like this"

She put her hand to her head; "I know" she managed softly. "I'm really messing up" It was at this point she knew that Grissom was not going to let her leave the office for a good while now. So she slouched down in the chair a little and got as comfortable as you could in a room surrounded by bugs and experiments.

------

She had been in his office for over half an hour, her wanted the full account of last shift incase Ecklie asked for it. Thankfully he'd avoided her personal life – namely Catherine. She was unsure whether it was out of respect for her, or if he didn't know how to approach it. Either was she was grateful. She made it back to the room where Nick and herself had been, "How'd it go?" he asked as she walked in. She was unsure which situation was more awkward, been in here with Nick of in there with Grissom.

"Painful" Sara smirked a little letting him know that she'd be okay. "How's this going?" she asked referring to the case.

"painful" he echoed also with a smile, "But lucky for you – I've finished it all so we just have to chuck it on the boss's desk and then we can grab coffee"

"Sounds good" Sara nodded, "You go give it him because I've seen enough of the inside of that office for one day and I'll go put on some brew."

"One condition"

"What's that…"

"None of the county sludge"

"No way… Greg's stash" she laughed leaving Nick alone in the lab and heading to the break room. It was at this point she had decided she had to get over what happened with Jess – if she didn't then she would possibly ruin Nick's friend ship and the brunette wasn't sure how much more she could take.

She poured herself a mug off coffee, unable to restrain herself from bringing it up to her nose to inhale the smell of the much needed caffeine; Greg was useful for one thing a least – the good coffee. She was still waiting for Nick but decided that he'd probably got caught up with Grissom so she went a head and took a seat on the sofa – getting lost in her own head again – something that lately she did a lot.

She wasn't too sure how long she'd been sat there – she'd made it through half her coffee though when the hared the door to the break room shut. Looking up she met eyes with the one person she wanted to be a far away from as humanly possible. "Can we…talk?"

Sara didn't respond for a few moments, but when Catherine walked a little further in it was obvious that the decision wasn't actually hers. "I'm not up for this tonight" she explained.

"Sara… I'm worried about you?" Catherine sounded genuine. She did – but, Sara just couldn't take it.

She looked to the blond and just shook her head, "Worried? Give me a break Catherine." she Standing up she placed her cup on the side, "We're not together anymore… you don't have to act like you give a damn"

"Sara!" Catherine growled, the younger CSI didn't listen, just continued to the door – her heart pounding and a sick feeling raising up into her mouth. "God damn it I do care" she sounded desperate.

Sara stopped at the door, hand on the handle and back to the other woman. She rested her head on the door frame for a few moments – before just shaking her head and pulling open the door leaving Catherine stood there, in a room – alone. "I do care" she mumbled again this time to the emptiness.

-----

The days had gone on, almost a week had now passed, and Sara managed to avoid anymore trouble in the work place and had even managed to avoid Catherine. As luck would have it or as Grissom would arrange it the two hadn't worked a case together and Catherine hadn't tried to have another heart to heart.

Sara pushed her hands deep into the pocket of her jacket as she walked out into the Vegas night. She walked along the outside of the lab and began to cross over the parking lot when she noticed a familiar woman sat in a red mustang, which was also very familiar. She bent down in time to see Jess sat in the driver's seat her head rested against the steering wheel. Though Sara's instinct was telling her to just keep walking and avoid what she knew she'd have to deal with. The realist in her told her that she needed to sort this out. So she took a deep breath and headed over to the car. Knocking on the window of the passenger side she smiled when Jess looked up. She pulled open the door, "Hey… what you doing sat out here?"

"Well, Nick…asked me to… pick him up. His Denali went in to the shop so…here I am" She explained.

Sara just nodded her head. She looked up at the Lab and then, back to Jess – "He's in an interrogation at the moment; he may be a little while"

"Of course he is" Jess mumbled, leaning her head on her hands again.

"Hey…are you okay?"

"Yeah…I'm great" she answered as she pushed her hair from her face, "I've just finished a hard shift… that's all" She reassured.

Sara nodded, she knew that feeling well. "Want to talk?"

"About what…my shift or what happened between us the other day?" She asked, looking up seriously to Sara who was still leaning into the car.

The brunette nodded her head; she knew she had to deal with it eventually. She took a deep breath and moved into the car sitting in the passenger seat – "About that… I'm sorry…"

"You are?" Jess asked, "Why?"

"I was out of line Jess…I shouldn't have done that" Sara explained, she turned to the younger woman.

"You know… I kissed you back. It wasn't all you…"

Sara looked to her hands, then back up to her – "Nick's my best friend, he's my colleague"

"What's Nick got to do with what happened?"

"You're his sister, his little sister"

"I'm a grown woman Sara" Jess shot back. "Look, I saw something, there was something between us"

"Don't do this" Sara mumbled as she brought her hand to her head, "Jess…"

"What? What Sara…you don't kiss someone like that by accident."

"It shouldn't have happened!"

"But it did…it did happen. You kissed me and I kissed you back. Look… I'm not asking you for a relationship, I not asking for anything… I just…I need to know one way or another what happened. How it happened?"

"I don't know how it happened…it just…did." Sara explained. "Look, maybe I've handled this all wrong, I don't know…all I know is that I like you. I mean, we get on okay … and I don't want to lose you or nick as a friend over what happened back there. I can't lose either of you"

"Why would you lose me?"

"Because I would okay…anything I approach like that, in that way… I wreck. It's just me… I won't…I can't do it again Jess. I'm sorry" She realised that her tone was harsher than she'd meant it to be. She took a deep breath -

A silence fell over them. Sara sat thinking about the Strawberry blond colleague that she still had feelings for but was struggling to even keep hold of a friend ship with. She was not going to ever form a relationship again that would affect her career or even her friends. Jess sat with her hands firmly on the steering wheel. She was looking ahead of her. In the time that Sara had walked over to the car and gotten in the sky had opened up and rain cascaded down banging of the car they were sat in. Jess was driving Nick's Ford mustang until she got her own car… her car and her apartment were on her to get list. After a few moments she couldn't take it anymore, she turned to the brunette, moving her hand she placed it on Sara's knee. "I understand…I get what you're going through I do. I like you Sara… I mean, all you have to say to me is that it can't happen. That what ever happened the other day was the beginning and end and I'll leave it at that. I just need to know what's going on in your head."

Sara turned her head and looked at the woman sat at her side, with a lot of trouble she answered her, "It can't happen, it's the end" her voice was low. Filled with emotion – she looked down at where Jess's hand was – "I'm sorry" she offered.

Jess nodded, she moved her hand from Sara's knee and then looked back out of the window – "I like you Sara… and I hope…that we can…still be friends"

"We are friends Jess…" She smiled softly, "But that's all it could ever and will ever be"

Jess understood, "So what… it never happened?"

"I think that's for the best" Sara nodded.

Jess agreed, "Yeah…maybe…"

"Look…this really…it isn't you…it's…"

"Let me guess…it's you?" Jess smiled, "Wow, I feel like I'm sixteen again"

Sara smiled softly, "believe me, it is. I got my heart broken, not too long ago and I really haven't gotten over that. I'm not ready to start anything…"

"The blond?"

"Huh?" Sara looked up to the woman sat next to her.

"Catherine…" The brunette's eyes looked out of the window screen, "the blond, it was her right? That broke your heart?"

Sara thought a moment, and then looked to Jess, "Did Nick tell you?"

"No… I picked up on it…the first day in Vegas. We walked in on the convo remember"

"Yeah… I remember" Sara mumbled, "Was I that obvious?"

"She's crushed you huh?" Jess asked avoiding purposely Sara's answer.

Sara just nodded, "Yeah, she did"

They both sat in silence again, Sara looked at her watch, "Well, I better get going and try and grab some sleep." She looked up at Jess, "So…things between us…"

"Things between us…are just fine…" She explained, "Don't give it a second though. You got me?"

Sara just nodded, "I'm sorry"

"Don't be."

"So…you're going to be okay waiting for your brother?"

"I'll be fine" Jess reassured.

"You know you could head inside… security would let you threw"

"Nah, I'm okay here…"

"Well, he shouldn't be too long. They were finishing it up when I was leaving so…"

Sara was about to get out when she turned back to the other woman, "You know, the guys planned this drinking session after shift tomorrow. If your free show up – I know Greg wants to hear some of them stories"

Jess nodded, "I'll see what I'm up to"

"Okay… I'll talk to you soon" And with that she stood out. The rain falling heavy down onto her, she bent her head back in the car – "thank you"

Jess just smiled. And Sara left – Walking off towards her Denali. Not caring about the rain, she just thought about what had just happened. The darkness was fading as the sun started to raise. Morning was here… another day.

--- tbc