Title:Razor Candies
Rating:M
Author:Freeing Alys
Summary:It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.
Author's Note: This is a bit different, and my first M rated story. Please tell me what you think-maybe in a nice way? That would be nice for me, thank you.

2. Uncoiled

"Hey, what's going on?" I glance up from my Algebra book and watch Lily sit next to me in the library. I had been sitting in the same position for almost two hours, trying to memorize the stupid algebraic equations that would for sure be on the test. It was hardly working though, all I could think about was bathrooms and razors. The thoughts wouldn't go away.

"Studying." I tell Lily and she nods at me. I notice that she is wearing a light shade of red lip stick and her cheeks seem to be redder then usual. She is also wearing hip hugger jeans and a more tight fitting tee shirt. Althought Lily still skates and hangs out with boys as friends, she has shifted her outfits. She dresses more femine now.

"Oh." Lily leans close to me and I smell the vanilla sugar lotion that she had applied ot her skin that morning. I breath her in and for a split second I think back to that kiss and I wonder why she did it. I've just been too scared to ask her.

"What about you?" I asked scooting away from Lily, too scared to be close to her. I didn't want to have that feeling again and I didn't want to have to lock myself in a bathroom stall, all alone.

Lily shrugs her shoulders and looks at me in a lazy way. "Nothing. Just bugging Oliver and now you." She says and then laughs. It bubbles in the back of her throat and then breaks the air, and I am surprised. I never realized how her laugh sounded before and it makes my stomach roll around.

"Oh." I say, not sure what else to really do.

Lily furrows her eyebrows at me and shrugs her shoulders. "Are you okay?" She asks and I want to tell her. I want to tell her I can't stop thinking about the kiss and I want to know what she thinkgs, I want to tell her that I do that thing…the one I can't admit to. But I know I can't. It's too hard.

"Nothing." I settle with and I know Lily doesn't buy it. She is my best friend after all, she knows everything about me.

"Okay. I have to go." She says and stands out of the chair. She smiles at me and then does something I wish she wouldn't. She lowers her hand down onto my bare arm and smiles at me. "Later." She whispers then she glances down at my arm, the one she is still touching, and a look passes over her face. I want to ask her what she is thinking but I don't. I can't think when she is touching me.

Lily walks away, her hips swinging from side to side. My breath grows hallow and my skin is starting to crawl again. "Shit." I mumble to myself. I close my eyes, trying to gather my thoughts again, but fail horribly at it. I can't gather anything.g No senses, not thoughts, not reality.

The out of body feeling passes over me again and I try to rbeath. I rock myself back and forth in the wooden chair, trying to make it go away, I try to settle it. But it doesn't work, it never does. I try to resort to anything else…anything but that. But it doesn't work. The disease works its way inside of me and I can't stop it.

I stand up quickly, grab my book and dart towards the first girl's bathroom that I can find. I lock the stale, drop my math book to the ground, and close my eyes. "It's fine." I mumble to myself over and over again. But it does nothing. It never does.

I grab the razor out of my bag and then shut my eyes.

When I open my eyes again, I'm crying and there is blood all over my hands. I shake my head, upset and sick feeling. I glance at my cell and realize that I'm five minutes late to my last class of the day. I quickly clean myself up and race out of the bathroom and towards my last class.

HMHMHMHMHMHM

"You okay?" I feel like screaming again, it's the second time that question has popped out of her mouth in one day.

"Sure." I say not looking at Lily, I just can't anymore.

"Miley, I'm not stupid." Lily fights and then I glance up at her. Of course she isn't stupid, I wouldn't ever think that about her.

"Of course not." I tell her, no longer speaking like myself. It's all part of the disease. The thing that changed me and turned me into The New Miley.

"Everyone is worried about you. Robby Ray told me-" Lily starts, but I won't let her finish. I'm too mad.

"What?" I ask her sitting up in the passenger side of her car.

Lily looks away from me and then back again. "We're worried." She presses again. "Me, Robby Ray, Jackson, Oliver…" Lily says and I shake my head.

They had all been plotting behind my back, saying things. Thinking I'm insane. But the thing is I am insane. They just can't know about it. "Shut up." I whisper as tears sting my eyes.

"Mile." Lily touches and I flinch.

"Lily." I glance at her, the tears now falling down my face. "What happened that day?" I finally ask, anything to distract her. And I want to know the answer.

Lily clears her throat and she doesn't look at me. I know she's scared, I can sense it in her. "I don't know." She finally whispers.

"You confused me." I admit and I touched the place on my jeans, the place where my latest wound is. I think about telling her, letting her know. But I can't. It's too hard.

"I'm sorry." Lily looks at me now and I notice that she glances at my lips before she looks at my eyes. "I just…like you." She says and my heart beats fast and then faster. She likes me. Lily, my best friend, likes me.

"What?" I ask as I try to backtrack, I try to make sense out of all of it.

"I like you Miley." She says again, just changing the words, but not adding anything more. No more explaination.

"Oh." I say, so unsure of what to say.

Lily flashes me a small smile and slowly leans towards me, I can smell that lotion again and I can hear her breath. "Is it okay?" Lily asks and I don't know what to do. I don't know if it's okay, I don't kow anything.

"Sure." I say anyway, I just want to put it to rest.

Lily presses her lips against mine, I taste that new lipstick she has on, and I like it. My skin crawls, my stomach dances and I think about the razor in my bag again. Our lips break apart for a split second, just long enough for us to take a breath until Lily presses her lips against my again. I don't open my mouth, I just sit there letting Lily kiss me.

I feel my hands start to shake, so bad I can't stop it. My heart beats fast and I can't breath anymore. I pull away from Lily and I let out a groan, a noise I couldn't control. I feel the panic attack rise to my thorugh and I feel like throwing up. "Are you okay?" I glance at Lily and fake a smile at her.

"Yeah. I have to go." I slide out of Lily's car and race towards my front door.

I run into my house and dart to my bathroom. Slamming the door behind me, I'm glade that Dad and Jackson aren't around. With shaking hands I pull out the razor and let out a sigh. It'll be over soon.