Title:Razor Candies
Rating:M
Author:Freeing Alys
Summary:It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.
Author's Note: Thank you for the reviews! They mean a lot to me. I hope you continue reading. :)

9. Loving

I'm laying in Lily's bed. Dad said that I could sleep over, if only I got up for school the next day. Of course I promised, because what is better then a sleep over with Lily? Now I'm laying on her bed, and Lily is in the bathroom, doing whatever she needed to do. I smile in the dark realizing that it's me and Lily now and I love her. It's been two days since I told my dad and told Lily I loved her.

I fold my arms across my chest as I realize that I want to talk to Mrs. Avery about me and Lily, I want to hear her opinion. "Miley." I open my eyes and see Lily standing over me, looking like she had jus washed her face and brushed her teeth.

"Hey." I grab her hand and lightly pull her down onto the bed with me.

The bed folds under Lily's weight as she lays down next her me, her face inches from mine. "I'm scared." Lily admits and laughs and I can't help but laugh.

"Of what?" I ask and she shrugs her shoulders. "You not getting better." She finally says and I let out a sigh.

"I'm getting there." I promiser her and she nods her head.

"I hope." Then she kisses me on the lips, soft at first and then harder and harder as she keeps kissing. She rests her hand on my hip and my neck tingles at the touch.

I pull away from her, my head racing, I don't know what to do or not to do. I don't even know where we really stand. "What are…" I start, but then I trail off, I don't want to ruin it.

"Let's just…" Lily says, but she interrupts herself by kissing me.

This time I'm not confused, I'm just being with Lily and I love that feeling. I kiss her hitting her lips with mine over and over again. She roughly presses me down beneath her and she rides her hands up my shirt. "It's okay." I say when she pauses for a second, her eyes cloudly.

"Okay." She mumbles and she slides my shirt off over my head.

I take shallow breaths as Lily glances at me, in nothing but my bra and PJ bottoms that I wore over. Lily smiles and kisses me on the stomach, next to my cut. I let out a shaky breath and try to relax as she moves her tongue up my body, until she reaches my mouth.

When her lips slip over mine I know what I'm doing and I kiss her hard, letting all of my feelings out in her. "God." Lily mumbles lightly and she shoves her hand down my PJ bottoms, ready to slide them off.

I stop her as she pulls them, my fears of her seeing all my cuts passing over me. "No." I whisper and Lily shrugs her shoulders.

"That's where, huh?" She asks and I nod my head. It's dark and she can't see, but it makes me uncomfortable and I can't stand it.

"I'm not ready." I say and I hate having to say it, but the breaks on us and interrupt the spell we were under.

Lily nods her head and smiles at me. "It's fine." She quickly sits up on top of me and pries off her own shirt. "It's fine." She repeats laying down next to me, her hands touching my stomach.

"Thanks Lily." I mumble as I trace Lily's stomach with my fingers and I get the craving to taste her and I wonder if she tastes like that vanilla sugar lotion she smells like all the time.

"I love you." She says and I follow my instincts. I run my lips over Lily's stomach and sides, tasting her and soaking her up. Her skin is soft and fresh and I love running my lips and tongue over it, again and again.

"I love you too." I mumble when I am done and laying next to her.

HMHMHMHMHMHM

In the morning, I'm hazy feeling. I'm wearing only my pink bra and PJ bottoms and I feel naked laying next to Lily. I stare at her sleeping frame wondering how we got here. I shrug my shoulders and make a mental note to ask Lily. She never did answer my question about that day when she kissed me. She had never told me she likes girls before and then I wonder if it's just a me thing.

I move slightly and it wakes Lily up and she let out a groan. "No, let's sleep." She begs and I laugh at her reaction.

"It's tiem to move." I say and she nods her head.

"Fine." She pries open her eyes and smiles at me. "Morning beautiful." She mumbles and I nod my head at her.

"Morning."

She quickly lifts her head up and kisses me on the lips and I feel my stomach drop to the ground. I bend down and kiss her again, loving the feeling she gives me. Completely unlike any other feeling that I had ever known before. "Let's go." I say sliding off of her bed and searching for the clothes that I had brought over for today.

"I wish you'd trust me." Lily mumbles as I find the clothes and pick them up.

I stare at her, my heart beating fast and I shrug my bare shoulders. "I do." I whisper and I know what she'll say next. I realize that I have to get it over with, she wants to see, she wants to know.

"Then show me. I want to help you." Hse says and I can tell that she is about to cry.

I sigh, close my eyes and then quickly drop my PJ bottoms to the ground and kick them away from my body. I feel naked standing in front of Lily in nothing but my bra and underwear, with my cuts showing and I start to cry, hating the feeling.

"Shhhh. It's fine." Lily promises and she walks over to me, touching my bare skin. "It's fine." She kisses at me tears and when I stop crying she steps back and stares at my thigh, where over twenty cuts are. "Damn it." She mumbles and I feel my fingers start to shake, I hate having made Lily feel like that.

"Just…" I don't know what I was even planning on saying, but I stop after one word as Lily lowers herself to stare at my legs.

She glances up at me and then quickly glances back down at the cuts and runs her fingers over them, causing me a stingy pain. She kisses them softly with her lips and I feel like crying and bouncing with joy all at the same it, it's a feeling no one else could ever give me.

She runs her tongue down my legs and thighs and then she stands back up again and kisses me on the lips. I smile at her and the question that had been burning at me since I woke up slips out of my mouth. "Are you gay?" I ask her nad Lily shrugs her shoudlres.

"I don't know. I just started being attracted to you and then…I don't know. I can't explain it. I just like you Miley." She whispers and I nod my head, it's understandable.

"I like you too Lily." She smiles and I kiss her on the lips to prove it to her and then I pull away. I stare at her light hair and I feel loving for the first time since Jake Ryan, and I love the feeling.