Title:Razor Candies
Rating:M
Author:Freeing Alys
Summary:It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.
Author's Note: This chapter was a little hard for me, hopefully I did it justice. Thank you for all the reviews!

10. Scared

Mrs. Avery adjusts in her seat and clears her throat. I pick at my jeans, wondering how I can phrase it to tell her. Ten minutes ago she asked me what I wanted to talk about, and I know the subject, I just can't find a way to tell her. "Miley?" I glance up at Mrs. Avery is looking at me patiently, but I know that she wants me to say something. To open up, as she put it in our first session.

I clear my own throat and shrug my shoulders. I might as well just spill it out. "That girl who brought me in, Lily…we're…" I start, but I don't' know how to finish. What are we exactly? Friends? More? Less? I have no idea.

"You're what?" Mrs. Avery asks me, trying to push it right out of me.

I glance pass her as I search for the words and when I open my mouth, they just spill out. "We're with each other." I say and then I look at Mrs. Avery, to see what her response is.

She stares at me, her eyes the same as always and her lips turned up into a small smile. "That's good that you told me Miley. What's bugging you about it?" She asks me and I crack a smile, just about everything.

"Well, we've been best friends, since I moved here in eighth grade. And now…" I trail off and Mrs. Avery nods her head.

"It just happened?" She guesses and I nod my head and smile.

"Exactly." I say and Mrs. Avery jots down a couple of notes and then glances back up at me.

"Well I think you need someone to discus this with. Someone other then me or Lily or course." She tells me and I feel my stomach lurch as I realize what her suggestion is going to be. "How about your dad?" she asks and I feel like running out of the room and never coming back. I can't tell my dad, he wouldn't….get it or understand it.

"I don't think…I can tell him." I tell Mrs. Avery and she nods her head and then leans towards me.

"Miley, I know you're scared, it understandable, but the best way to work past your confusion is to have it out there." Mrs. Avery tells me and I nod my head.

"I know, but….I don't even know what our relationship is, how can I tell my dad?" I ask my worst fears bubbling over and seeping out of my mouth. If we're not dating or in love, what are we? Just people who kiss each other a lot? Just people who love to be around each other?

Mrs. Avery nods her head and leans back in her chair. "Well in that case, I suggest you talk to Lily, let yoru know you're going to tell your dad, and get it worked out. Figure it out together and tell your dad in the way that best suites you." Mrs. Avery suggests and I nod my head, it's the only explaination that makes much sense.

"O-okay. Do I have a timeline?" I ask her, thinking it's going to be like the talk about hurting myself.

Mrs. Avery shakes her head and smiles. "No, this isn't something that needs attention right away. Take your time, figure it out as you need to. Remember Miley, you are doing this for you and no one else." Mrs. Avery tells me and I stand up, we're finished.

"Thank you." I say and after Mrs. Avery hands me my late slip I walk out of her office and towards my next class.

HMHMHMHMHM

Lily is sitting at her desk when I walk into her room. It's four in the afternoon, her scheduled study time. "Hey." I say and I fall down onto her bed, a weary smile on my face. My hands are lightly shaking as I try to figure out how to tell Lily I want to tell my dad.

"How's it going?" Lily asked turning from her book and smiling at me.

I shrug, glance at the floor and then back up at her. "I want to tell my dad. I talked to Mrs. Avery." I say and Lily's face drops and she stands out of her chair quickly.

"You told her about us?" Lily asks and I nod my head quickly. Lily's eyes cloud over and she looks like she is about to cry.

"Why? I don't even know…" She trails off, running her hands through her hair.

I stand up and walk over to Lily, knowing exactly what she is feeling. "I know, but that's why I need to do this. I need to know where we stand. To get better." I say, knowing that it is one of the reason that I need to do that thing so much.

Lily nods her head and shrugs her shoulders. "So what should we do?" She asks.

"Mrs. Avery says we need to figure out what we are. Dating, in love or whatever. So I know what to tell my dad exactly." I tell Lily and she nods slowly, swallowing down the information.

"Well, what do you think?" Lily asks and I shrug my shoulders, unsure.

"I don't know….but I…want to date you. If that's what you want." I say and Lily smiles at me, a small smile that slowly spreads to her eyes.

"Yeah, I mean, I like you…and I think we could explore what we want more, if we're together." Lily agrees and I smile back at her.

"Okay, so…we're dating." I say, seeing how the words taste on my lips, and they don't taste all that bad.

"Okay." Lily quickly leans over towards me and kisses me, softly and romantically. "To seal the deal." She says and I laugh, it's weird, I'm actually dating Lily now. My best friend is my girlfriend.

"So…now I-" Lily cuts me off by nodding shortly.

"I know you do, but I just can't…not right now Miley." Liliy tells me and I nod my head, I understand it.

"Okay. I know. But think about telling your mom?" I ask and Lily nods her head again.

"I'll think about it, later." She mumbles walking over to her desk and falling back down into her chair. "I have to study." She tells me and I nod my head.

"Okay." I touch Lily lightly on the shoulder before walking out of her room and then running out her house.

HMHMHMHMHMHMHM

"What sounds good to you bud, chicken and rice or chicken noodle?" Dad asks me from the kitchen, he is balancing two cans of soup in his hands, looking from one to the other.

I shrug my shoulders and sit at the kitchen table. "I don't know Dad, how about chicken and rice?" I suggest and Dad nods his head, a smile on his face.

"Sounds good to me." He says and he starts getting out a pan to cook the soup in.

I clear my throat, run my hands through my hair and glance at the table as I prepare to tell him. "Dad?" I ask and he glances at me, pouring the soup into the pot.

"Yeah Miley?" He asks, his eyes burning into me.

I glance up at him and give him a small smile. "I have to…tell you something." I swallow down the lump in my throat and Dad gets a little pale as he walks over to me.

"Is it about…hurting yourself?" He asks worriedly and I shake my head, tears threatening to fall down my face.

"No…but um, I need to do things for myself, to help with that." I say as I slip out Mrs. Avery's business card. He didn't need it for the hurting thing, but I'm almost positive he'll need it for this one. "This is her card, the women I'm seeing at school, she's really helping." I clear my throat again as Dad slips is hand over mine and smiles at me.

"It's fine Miley, whatever you need to get better." He says and I nod at him, happy that he's helpful now, but I have no idea how long that will really last.

"Well um, me and Lily…I don't know…how it really happened, but um…" I trail off, to afraid to say the words, to see the look in his eyes. I don't want to disappoint him.

"What?" He asks and I stare at him, mentally preparing myself.

"Um, we're dating now." I tell him and then I glance past him and then back at him.

His eyes are staring at our hands that our folded together and he looks a little scared. "Miley…" He says and my heart starts to speed up.

"Yeah?" I ask trying to make eye contact with him, but I can't.

"Are you happy? Will this help you?" He asks glancing up at me and I shrug my shoulders, I don't' even know what to make out of any of it.

"I really don't know Daddy, I just….like her?" I try and Dad nods his head.

"I don't understand, but if you need me to support you to help with your hurting yourself, I'll be here for you. Just talk to me when you need to. About anything." He says and I don't know how to read what he is saying. He wants to help me, to talk to me. But only to help with the cutting, I don't know if he means about the thing with Lily.

I nod and smile anyway, at least he's not yelling at me. "Okay. Thanks."

Dad nods his head and picks up Mrs. Avery's card. "She's okay with me calling her?" Dad asks and I nod my head.

"Yeah, sure." I say and Dad nods his head.

He takes the card with him out of the kitchen and walks up the stairs towards his bedroom. I glance at the soup cooking on the stove and I wonder if he is going to come back to eat it with me.