Title:Jagged Edges
Rating:M
Author:Freeing Alys
Summary:It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.

11. Alone

My cell phone is propped up in my hands and I let out a deep sigh. I've called Lily twenty times in the last ten minutes, and she hasn't called me back. I left four messages since I had told Dad and she hasn't even attempted to reach me back. Tears sting at my eyes as I try to figure out if she hates me now.

I turn in my bed and glance at the clock, nine-twenty. I try to tell myself she is busy with something, anything. Just make her be doing anything but being mad at myself. I shake my head completely confused by Lily's actions. She was the one who first kissed me, who started all of this. But now she's the one who doesn't want anyone to know. "Call me." I beg staring at my phone again, willing it with every ounce of me to ring.

Btu instead there is a knock on my door. I shoot out of my bed, hoping it's Lily and praying it's Dad, all at the same time. Dad ate dinner with me, but he was distant the whole time, staring off at something that I couldn't see. I wanted to talk to him, but I had no idea what to say. "Yeah?" I say and I hear Dad clear his throat.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks and I smile to myself, at least he wants to talk.

"Sure." I tell him and he opens the door, a half smile on his face.

"how are you doing?" he asks me striding over to my bed quickly.

I nod my head and smile. "Okay." I tell him and he sits next to me on my bed and wraps his arm around me.

"I'm sorry about dinner, I was just trying to figure it out. What you said, what Mrs. Avery said." He says and I nod my head at him, trying to make him feel okay.

"It's fine. I understand." I tell him.

"So, how long has this…"

I clear my throat as I try to think back. I don't remember the exact dates, it's all blured in my mind. So I decide to tell him everything. "I don't really remember. She kissed me one day, and it made things weird. Then a couple weeks ago I asked her about it, we ignored it until then, and we just sort of…came togther." I clear my throat and continue with the story. "We didn't really know what we were or what we were doing, we just were. Then I talked to Mrs. Avery and she told me to talk to Lily about it, and then we decided that we should date, to help ourselves figure this out." I tell Dad and he nods his head in understanding.

"Okay. Well, I'm here for you Miley. I just want you to know that. I love you." He says and I smile at him.

"Thanks."

"How's…the cut…cutting going?" He asks, stumbling over the words and I realize it's hard for him. I feel bad for him, I feel bad that this is all happening all at once.

"It's okay…I think I'm doing better." I tell Dad and he nods his head.

"I just want you to figure it out." He says and then he stands off of my bed.

"See you tomorrow bud." He smiles at me and then walks out of my room.

As soon as the door shuts behind him I feel tears creep up in my eyes and then they start to spill down my face, I can't help it.

HMHMHMHMHMHMHMHM

Oliver is sitting alone at the lunch table when I reach it. I smile at him and then drop into the seat next to him. "Hey." He mumbles as he pokes at his food.

"What's up?" I ask him and he shrugs his shoulders.

"Lily talked to me last night." He says simply, like it was supposed to say a million things.

I shrug my shoulders, not knowing if he was talking about what I thought he was talking about. "About what?"

Oliver glances up at me and shrugs his shoulders. "What do you think?"

I let out a sigh and glance at my food and then back over at him. "Is she mad?" I ask him, my voice barely above a whisper.

Oliver clears his throat and shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. She just told me, she said she was preparing herself for telling her mom." He glanced down at his food and let out sigh. "She was a little freaked. At telling."

I nod my head, understanding all of her feelings. "Where is she now?" I ask peering around the lunch room, hoping to see Lily stalk into it, her long blonde hair flying behind her.

Oliver shrugs his shoulders and glances at me. "I don't know. I think she was going to take a sick day." He mumbles and I nod my head, it's all understandable. But I don't understand why Lily is so freaked.

HMHMHMHMHMHMHMHMHM

After school I decide that I'm going to talk to Lily, even if she doesn't want to. I'm standing outside of her door, my stomach rolling around within itself. I take a deep breath and think back to the five steps that Mrs. Avery gave me, and then I knock on the door. Lily's mom answers, dressed simply in jeans and a tee-shirt. I smile at her and she smiles back at me. "Good to see you Miley. Lily is upstairs." I nod my head and as I walk past her I notice she gives me an extra once over and I wonder what that was about.

I march up the stairs and then push the door open to Lily's room. Lily is laying on her bed, staring at the ceiling. "Hey." I say quietly and she looks over at me.

"Miley." She sits up on her bed and smiles at me. "I told her." She says and I nod my head, trying to understand it.

"Oh." I step closer to her and smile again. "Are you okay?" I ask her and she shrugs her shoulders in a lazy type of way.

"I don't really know Miley." She states and I can't tell if she's mad or not. "She's fine with it, I guess." Lily says and then she starts wiping at her eyes.

I let out a sigh and step close to her. "Lily…" I say and she jerks away from me.

"I hated having to do it." She mumbles and I feel bad for her, but I don't know what to do.

"I'm sorry." I say simply and Lily turns to look at me, her eyes red and puffy and tears falling down her face.

"Saying it, really makes it real. I hate it." She says and then crosses her arms over her chest, quickly. "I just need…to be alone for a minute. Awhile." She says and I nod my head, there isn't much else I can do.

"Will you call me?" I ask, my voice shaking.

Lily shrugs her shoulders and glances back up at me. "I don't know right now…I just need to be alone." Lily says again and I nod my head again.

"Good, okay." I turn on my heel and walk out of her room and out of her house before her mom spots me.

I cross my arms over my chest as I make my way back home, unsure of what is going no with Lily. And trying to figure out how I can get rid of the alone feel, bubbling up inside of me.