Title: Jagged Edges
Rating: M
Author: Freeing Alys
Summary: It's funny how much a person can change in two years. Liley. Rated for self-hatred, self-mutliation, eating disorders, and lots of other stuff I may not be sure of.
Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Hannah Montana or anything/one affliated with it. That all belongs to Disney.
Author's Note: I think I'm going to be ending this soon…it's kind of hard for me to write. Let me know what you think of the story and where it's going…..

16. Tingling

Ten minutes later Lily is at my door, a skateboard shoved under arm. Her one way of transportation, dispite her driver's license that she always carries in her wallet. "H-hey." I greet her and she nods her head, but I see her face soften.

"What's up?" She asks stepping into my house and looking at Dad and Oliver-Jackson left for another college class. "Hey Mr. Stewart. Oliver." She greets Dad and Oliver and then she sits at the table. "So, what's on the menu?" She asks glancing at Dad.

Dad smiles at her weakly and glances down at the noodles and sauce he is stirring around. "Spaghetti, Lily." He says and then glances over at me, a worried expression on his face.

"Yeah, Dad makes the best." I say walking towards the table and then quickly sitting next to her. I smell her perfume and for a second I go weak, I think back to all the times that I have kissed her and I realize that I miss her.

"Awesome." She says and gives me an off look. "What?" She asks me and I shake my head and then glance away from her.

"Nothing." I mumble and Oliver sits in the spot that usually goes to Jackson.

"So, what's been going on Lily?" Oliver asks and Lily shrugs her shoulders.

"Noting. Just enjoying space." She says and then glares at me.

I let out a sigh and shake my head. "Come on Lily! Don't hold it against me forever." I say and she shrugs her shoulders.

Dad steps to the table carrying over the noodles and some salda. "Eat up hang and enjoy." He says, but no one makes a move towards the food.

"I just don't know why you needed the space." Lily finally mumbles after a second a silence.

I shrug my shoulders and glance at her. "I really don't know…it felt right. But I realized….it was a mistake." I tell Lily and she nods her head.

"I…don't know what to even think." Lily finally said and I shoot up out of the chair.

"Let's go upstairs…" I say pointing at the staircase.

Lily nods her head and follows my example. "Great." She says and we move quickly towards the stairs, ignoring everyone else around us.

HMHMHMHMHMHMHM

"You've said you're sorry, like a million times." Lily whines at me and sits on my bed. I watch her blonde hair fall over her shoulders and I fell like grabbing it, but I don't.

"I know Lily. Just blame it on….my stupidity, okay?" I ask her and she nods her head, her pink lips slightly upturned.

"I could do that." She says and then she laughs.

I laugh with her and I'm reminded of the last couple of weeks. The time that everything was pretty much okay. I lean close to her and close my eyes, not caring about anything. It's hard to care about anything when I'm with Lily though. I quickly cover her lips with mine and I kiss her, letting her know just how much I have actually missed her. "I've missed you." I whisper when she pulls back, her eyes wide.

"Me too." She agrees, and this time she kisses me.

I kiss her back as I squeeze my eyes shut and fun my fingers down her arms slowly. Lily moans into my mouth and I kiss her harder, loving the feeling of us being together again. "I don't want to fight again." She mumbles breaking her lips apart from mine for air.

I nod my head alongside hers and smile to myself. "Me either. Let's just….take it as it goes. Not matter what." I say and Lily nods and smiles at me.

"I really like that." She says and then she kisses me on my jaw line. "I think I should start by telling my parents though." She says, her voice growing shaky.

I nod my head, understanding her feelings. "Do you…?" I ask trailing off and she shakes her head.

"No, it's fine. I need to do it alone." Lily mumbles and I kiss her again, not able to help myself.

"I like you." I whisper, my lips next to her ear.

"Yeah me to." She says and the she kisses me quickly again. "But we should go eat." She mumbles and I nod my head, we really should.

HMHMHMHMHMHM

That night, after Lily called me to tell me she told her parents, I'm holding the razor in my hands and lightly biting my lips. I glance over at the trash can and let out a sigh. I want to just through it away and not care about it-or need it- anymore. But it's a lot harder then I thought it would be. I let out another sigh and stare at the thin piece of metal. It's small I realize for the first time. It's incredibly small, yet it did so much damage to me. I shake my head and smile to myself. I have to let it go, things were a hell of a lot more fun when I didn't rely on it.

I stand off my bed and quickly walk towards my trash can and drop the razor in it. It clings as it hits the bottom and I feel relief sweep over me. Nodding my head I walk back to my bed and lay down, ready to fall asleep and let everything go, for ever.

The next day I'm staring at Mrs. Avery's office trying to get the nerve to walk into it and tell her what happened with me and Lily. And what I did last night. Letting out air from my lips I try to figure out why I'm so nervous about it, it's no big deal. She would only help me with it. Nodding my head at my thoughts I walk into her office and sit in front of her. "Miley, nice to see you." She says and I smile up at her. "how are things?" She asks me and I nod my head.

"Great! Me and Lily are okay…" I glance at my jeans as I try to work up the nerve to tell her the rest.

"What is it?" She asks and I glance up at her. She is peering at me, her eyes curious and her pen lightly touching her paper, like she knows she is about to write at any second. Like I'm going to tell her something big, which I am.

"I threw it away." I say and she nods her head.

"Threw what away?" She asks me and I know she just wants to hear me say it, for the healing process.

"The razor. I threw it away. It's done." I lean back in my chair and Mrs. Avery write something down and then smiles at me.

"That's amazing Miley. Why?" She asks setting her pen back on her paper.

I shrug my shoulders and smile at her. "Things were a lot better without it." I say and she nods her head.

"It's good you recognize that. Are you scared about something?" She asks me and I can tell she can see that look in my face, the one saying I'm terrified.

"Yeah," I let out a sigh and then glance away from her and then back at her quickly. "What if I want to do it again? I don't want to have to…" I say and she nods her head understanding what I'm telling her.

"I actually have a trick for that…" Mrs. Avery leans over her chair, reaches into her desk drawer and then looks back at me. "This." She says and then she holds out a thin, red rubber band at me. "Just put it on your wrist and then when you get the urge, any at all, just flick it." She holds it at me and I take it in my hands.

Slowly, I slide it onto my wrist and I glance at Mrs. Avery who is looking at me excitedly. "It does work, really." She promises.

I nod my head and then quickly snap the rubber band onto my wrist. I flinch at the pain that eruptes in me and I glance at Mrs. Avery, feeling the result. "Wow, thanks." I tell her and she nods her head.

"You're welcome. I just want you to get better. You know that I'm here for you." She tells me and I nod my head. I know.

"Yeah…"

"What about Lily? Is everything okay there?" Mrs. Avery asks me after she jots down a couple of notes on her paper.

"Yeah, we're great. She's helping me." I tell Mrs. Avery and she nods her head.

"Well it sounds like you are on a really great track Miley." She smiles at me and I nod my head, she is right.

"Yeah I know." I say and then I glance at my rubber band on my wrist and as I do I feel a tingling feeling inside of me and I realize it's going to get better.