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IDIOT

by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 4

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"What are you doing?" Obito turned to see the Chuunin trailing after him, he turned back and continued down his path as if he was entering a bad nightmare.

"I have to give me regards to your family, right?" Kakashi established, firmly staying close to the Gennin who was only trying to lose him. "I am your only friend."

That was the kicker.

"Hey!" Really, there wasn't much people he hung around with. Kakashi had more friends than him, "I can't help that I'm a loser."

Kakashi had managed to make a lot of friends, even Gai was his friend in a way. But Kakashi had things going for him. "Is that all you have to say?"

"Oh, Kakashi. We've been waiting for you?" The dark haired, pale skinned beauty strode to Uchiha's side. "Hello, Obito. Are you nervous?"

"I'm a man, I have nothing to be afraid of," Mikoto merely giggled.

It took Obito a while to notice the woman in question was the wife of the Uchiha head and the boy who stood beside her was the prodigy child, Itachi. He bowed, "I'll be leaving. Excuse me."

In his gut wrenched a bit of jealousy.

Some people had all the luck.

Kakashi walked to Mikoto, but as he did he strained his ear to Obito's cold words. "Well, say hi to my mom, drop off your gift and go."

And then Obito was gone.

"Kakashi, welcome to the family." Kakashi melted the married woman's heart with his smile, she had caught a glimpse of his face when she was told she would be his make-up artist. She was stranger to faces, and Kakashi was a beautiful boy. "Oh Kakashi, if I weren't married." She added quietly, "at least be glad that your husband is a little cute in his own way and in no way boring like my husband is."

The woman went on and on, "oh and this is my son, Itachi. Say hello, Itachi."

The boy blushed, "hello, nisan."

"Hello, Itachi." Kakashi noted the group of women that were beginning to a mass. "Are these women all here for..."

The crowd swept in, old ladies, aunties, young wives, all bored.

"Oh he's so young!" The old lady held his hand, "and his skin is so soft. He'll be a darling bride."

"Finally, a male wife! It's so rare these days. Well, Jiraya doesn't count." Muttered a young wife.

The crowd quickly abducted the boy, ushering him into the Uchiha Community Centre. He could barely see where he was going until he arrived and he saw the room. It was the kitchen of the community centre, it seemed that preparation for the wedding was already underway.

Make-up and cooking?

He was lead to a seat where he sat down with tight lips.

"--And that's what we're having, aren't you excited," it seemed Mikoto was the most excited of them all. "So, I'm just going to remove you mask."

"?!" Kakashi touched his face mask, but finally consented in the end.

There was a sea of sighs, Mikoto almost fainted.

"What a waste!"

"He's a real beauty."

"We wasted him on Obito!!"

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"Obito isn't skilled enough to run from our Kakashi," Itachi commented, watching the young Chuunin being groomed for the ceremony. It would have been more beneficial for Kakashi if instead he were to be wed to the young boy, but Itachi was unavailable due to him being the eldest child of the Main house head.

Kakashi tried to keep his mind occupied, but Obito interrupted his thoughts. Uchiha tradition mean they would have to consummate their relationship in front of a watching audience.

Fugaku looked to be a stern man, with a fish of a mouth and he couldn't imagine how awkward sex with Obito would be in front of such a man.

His body stiffened ever so more when he caught his own reflection in the mirror, it had taken less time as his skin was so deathly pale that he needed very little make up to whiten his skin to the appearance of a bride's. Kakashi's bored eyes looking at the young woman's face as she craned his chin up.

"Try to smile, Kakashi."

The fat brush rolled against the pigment, she raised the brush and with precision that only a perfectionist would care about, the final details were insignificant seeing that it was just a test run. She looked at the soon-to-be bride's white and painted face, there were some breeches in tradition but Mikoto tried to bring Kakashi's expression the closest to a happy, Japanese bride.

"Perhaps you need a wig," she called to her comrade, motioning for the woman to get ready to go. "Keiko, can you see if there is a fitting wig, wait a second let's take a good look at you, Kakashi..."

"But he's a boy!" Keiko whined, she looked at Uchiha's head wife with annoyance. She looked at Kakashi, his sharp looks dulled down soft.

"Perhaps you're right?" The woman looked at Kakashi, trying to see what she could do with Kakashi's hair. It was too short and with a wig Kakashi would cease to be Kakashi, but tradition of covering up the bride's horns was something to be respected and she had an inkling she could never find a wig big enough to cover those horns that Obito would grow to fear.

"Mikoto-san is in charge, I just want to look as beautiful as possible."

As beautiful as possible, but the fierce woman cut in on the to-be wife of the most hopeless boy in the village, "but it's your wedding day. Just think about it, I really don't think you need one unless you really want one."

There was to be a photographer to take pictures of him and Obito. It would look odd with or without a wig on his head, Kakashi noted. "Would it be all right if I don't wear a wig? Perhaps an elegant hair ornament, you could style my hair."

"It's more of a problem of you hair being white." Kakashi's eyes widened, his eyes met with his stylist and he beamed. "We could... That would look fantastic, you'd look a little old, but you'd totally be in style. And it'd go with your mother's wedding dress that compliments your skin."

"What is?"

"A white wig."

"He'd look like a ghost."

"Or an old lady--"

"Obito will have the shock of his life, huh?"

"Not on my watch!" Mikoto raised her hand victoriously, Kakashi pondered if Mikoto was really wasted on Fugaku. "Kakashi, I guarantee you'll be on every magazine with your skin and your eyes and my styling."

"That's a great idea, a white wig." Keiko looked over Kakashi again, and swooned, Obito would be knocked dead at the sight of his bride unless Kakashi knocked him dead for other reasons.

"How about these ornaments?"

"Too bland." Mikoto tossed them.

"Red or blue."

"Red and cerulean blue!" An old lady passed an ornament that was cerulean and perfect for the occasion. "And a emerald green!"

"This is perfect," Kakashi smiled at the old woman, who almost had a heart attack, "thank you Obachan."

"No, thank you." She touched her blushing cheeks, "I hope you have lot's of children with your wonderful face."

A woman who was preparing food chimed in, "or have an affair with a handsome man. Obito probably won't yield as handsome children."

Mikoto tossed a brush at the woman, "don't say that! That's Kakashi's husband!"

Kakashi couldn't help but feel that inkling of blots that dotted his gut instinct, his hand resting on that part that would one day carry that child he had promise to have when he signed his life away.

"Hai."

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TBC

Author's Note:

The horns that Mikoto is taking about, are.. Oh I'll explain in another chapter.

Feel free to pester me to update. I need it.