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IDIOT

by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

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Chapter 5

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Obito swished the liquid in his mouth and spat out the chalky taste, his face was still dripping, not that he cared. He dabbed his face dry and entered his room.

The looked reflection in the mirror looked back at him with disdain, he wouldn't be living in this home any longer. Soon he would become the man of his own household. It was frightening. His new home would probably be nice, but he would still miss the cramped spaces of his old home.

"Whoever I'm marrying seems pretty loaded," he mumbled out loud, to buy land from the Uchiha and then build a house on it. He smirked, revelling in that fact that he would be the man in the relationship and whoever that guy was was going to bottom.

Not that he would want to, but either way in this situation he would be branded gay, but at least he was in the least gay position.

"Obito!" The shrill voice of his mother tore through the walls, he ignored the first call, but his older cousins were banging on the door. He washed up the mess and walked out the door.

He was greeted by a firm punch in the stomach, relatives were rough. "Hurry up, auntie is waiting!"

Obito clenched his stomach, as he carefully walked down the stairs holding the railing he lifted his sulking head and answered. "What is it this time mom."

His mother was smiling, and that was creepy as she was a miserable woman and she felt miserable about everything.

Obito eyes met with his rival, Kakashi's.

"Hello Obito," Kakashi bowed his head, respectfully, although it was an act of goodwill rather than that he actually cared. (Come on, it's Kakashi. He's too cool for school.)

Obito's eyes bulged, "WH-WHA-WHHHAAATTTT??!!"

Keiko was unfettered. They had planned this all along, with Kakashi's approval. Kakashi would board with Obito until their wedding night so it would be awkward. It was all brilliant! Hopefully Obito would a gentleman and keep his grubby hands to himself, but she giggled in her mind of the things that Obito and Kakashi would share and if SHE, she mused, was Kakashi's fiancee, she would jump him with no restraints at all.

Not that Obito, the silly goose had realised yet.

"Kakashi will be sleeping over tonight. He's been helping out with the wedding preparations, you really should be helping out too." His mother tattled on, swinging her hips as she chirped. "I'm looking forward to when your wife starts living with you, he'll whip you into shape--"

"Whatever mom." Obito slouched, that was it?

"And Kakashi, will be staying in your room until the wedding is over."

"BUT!" Obito groaned, slapping his forehead. He shot Kakashi a look, who looked innocent and NOT like Kakashi at all! "Don't do anything strange, you freak."

His mother punch landed on the soft part of his skull, where the poor Gennin had been dropped many times when he was baby. "HOW could you! Sorry Kakashi, my son is a cad."

"It's all right Keiko, all men are." Kakashi smiled under his face mask and nodded that he took no offence at all.

She swung her hips, when her husband said her name it didn't make her feel so giggly. Oh, she really wanted to be married to Kakashi instead. He was a real handsome boy! But at least Kakashi would grow up to be HER awesome daughter-in-law, and everyone on the block would be sooo jealous!

Obito grumbled. "Whatever, I'm leaving."

Stomping up the stairs, and much to his chagrin, Kakashi was a step behind.

He stopped several steps before his room and turned around.

Kakashi just stood there.

"Hey, quit following me," shot to his stalker, in fact Kakashi had been around him all day since he had met him in the hospital, "just let up a little, you're suffocating me!"

Kakashi looked at his surly husband-to-be, "you and I are supposed to be sharing a room tonight."

Obito took in Kakashi's words, quaking with fear.

Kakashi... Obito looked over his shoulder at his locked door.

Nobody had dared enter his room in years.

Not because his room was dirty or had a weird smell, but the one thing that Obito had mastered was keeping everybody out of his room and that was going to be violated by his rival, and arch nemesis: Hatake Kakashi?! No way! He wouldn't give Kakashi that benefit!

"Or are you chicken?" Kakashi added, folding his arms and trying not to yawn. Being beautiful and preparing for a wedding was tough work.

Obito flopped forward in defeat, he really didn't have a choice.

"I am not chicken! I'm a man! Just let me clean up, will ya?" Obito turned and shuffled to his door, he peeked to see that Kakashi had that same bored expression. "No peeking."

Kakashi was slightly offended, "why would I peek, idiot!"

Obito opened the door and closed it behind him, scrambling to clean up the naughty novels and tapes and DVD's all over his floor. He was running out of places to hide things. The straight porn could be left out, but the gay porn had to be put away. Not that he was gay, he just didn't want to screw up if someone was watching them. It wasn't like screwing a girl, he could in theory have sex with a girl, but the fact his first time would be with a guy?!

He didn't even know what stuff would work, but then... At least it was a guy, he in theory could do it with a guy better then he would do it with a girl... He winced, stopping in mid rush.

The whole scenario seemed unfair, but at least he was giving it and not taking it. 'That's it,' Obito reassured himself, "I'm the man in the relationship! Not the other guy!'

"Can I come in yet?"

Obito snapped back into reality.

"AHHHH!!"

He had stepped on a banana peel for the banana he had been testing condoms on and fell on his back.

It was then that Kakashi opened the door.

He looked at Obito.

He closed the door.

Obito lay on his back, red faced, covered in gay porn DVD covers and Gay porn magazines, absolutely humiliated.

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"It's all right," Kakashi looked at Obito, but Obito looked down red faced. "That sound perfectly rational."

At least he now knew the obvious. Obito was a virgin.

The boys were face to face, sitting face to face in a kneeling position on Obito's lain out futon.

"UM!" Obito tried to change the subject. "Hey... Just forget it and let's just go to bed."

He was suddenly struck by the awkwardness of that sentence.

Everyone was already fast asleep by now too, he could go around asking for a spare futon.

All of this was extremely gay.

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TBC

Author's Note:

Phantomsnow asked me if Sasuke would be Obito and Kakashi's son. I've actually been keeping track of the ages, and if that were to happen Kakashi and Obito should probably start trying soon! OO;;

But it's all up to what you guys want, do you guys want Sasuke to be Obito and Kakashi's kid, or do you want me to continue to slowly weave my story into a wild and crazy shape. Either way is fine with me!

So Review and Vote!

I'll tally the total in three chapters time!

And don't forget to harass me to update! I forget you know.