A/N: Well, here it is, the third chapter. Applaud, already.

And, moving on to Vincent Valentine. Hopefully.

Hey, there's a cameo in this chapter. See if you can guess who it is!

Chapter 3: Wrong Number

For a brief moment, Tifa wondered if she was still sane. Considering the fact that she had just called up Cloud, practically on a dare, and asked him out for supper, she had the feeling that she was not sane in the least. Oh well. There was no way to go back now, and she actually felt glad that she'd done it.

But it didn't help that Yuffie was still going on about it.

"If you don't mind my saying, I think that the two of you'd make a really cute couple." Yuffie was sitting on top of the desk, swinging her legs back and forth. "Really, you would. Except for the fact that Cloud is such a grump all the time. You know who else is?"

Tifa pretended to think for a moment. "Hmm…no, but I'm sure you're going to tell me." She had started cleaning off the desk, and then realized that there really wasn't a point to it, since it would just be cluttered up again in a few days.

Nodding vigorously, Yuffie continued her rant, and Tifa mentally added 'sarcasm' to the list of things that Yuffie was completely oblivious to. "Rude is always grumpy. And Vinny too. And Cid. You know what? I know a lot of really grumpy people. I think it might be some sort of disease, or something, since so many people have it. Speaking of diseases, I heard that there's this virus that makes you lose your voice. That would be just awful." She shuddered at the thought of such a terrible fate, causing a relatively small stack of papers to cascade to the floor. "Oops."

Contemplating Yuffie catching such a virus was a very pleasing mental picture. With a brief smile, Tifa asked, "So. Should we try to call Vincent?"

She felt sorry for Vincent, who would have no idea of what was coming. She also realized that it would be a long time before he'd answer any calls from this number.

"Heck yes! Gimme the phone!" Yuffie hopped down off of the desk, and snatched up the phone before Tifa could even move. "Lets see… oh, yeah. I remember." Quickly, the ninja punched in the number, and likewise put the call on speaker. Kneeling on the swivel chair, Yuffie spun around and around while the phone rang. "This chair is really fun. If I was Cloud, I'd just sit here all day and spin arooooooouuuuuunnnnnnnddddd!!" There was a loud thud as Yuffie fell backwards out of the chair and onto the floor. "I'm OK!"

Just then, an unfamiliar voice came through the speakers as someone answered the phone. "I'm warning you Maes, if you're calling to continue your rant, then I'm hanging up right now. I don't have time for this." In the background, several people laughed.

Tifa and Yuffie shared a confused look. "Um…Hello? Who are you?" Tifa asked, bending down closer to the speakers. "Is Vincent Valentine there?"

"Who are you?" The man retorted. "And how did you get this number?" He sounded more than a little pissed off. "I have had it with you damn prank callers! If that pipsqueak put you up to this, I'll flame him so bad his own brother won't even recognize him!" Faint cheers could be heard following this statement, along with more laughter. Apparently, they had called in the middle of a feud, or something. "Do you understand?"

Make that extremely pissed off, Tifa decided. She winced in pain as the angry shout left her ears ringing. "Wrong number," she told him crossly, slamming the phone down. "Bastard."

"Like I said," Yuffie put in, still on the floor. "The world is full of grumpy people. That guy had some serious problems. I wonder how we ended up talking to him? I must have gotten the number wrong. Or maybe Vinny changed it. Yeah, that's probably it." She got to her feet, and sat back down on the chair again. "Should we redial it and see if we get Vincent, just in case?"

Yuffie rattled off the numbers far too fast for Tifa to punch them in, and the ninja was forced to repeat herself. "He really should have an easier number," Yuffie remarked. "It's so hard to remember." She put her feet up on the desk.

"Hm, I wonder why?" Tifa asked sarcastically as the phone began to ring again. Personally, she was glad that she didn't have a cell phone. It limited the number of ways that Yuffie could annoy her. It suddenly occurred to Tifa that she might have stumbled upon the reason why Cloud never answered his phone.

The phone was still ringing. Surely someone would have picked up by now, of at least it would have gone to voicemail. "He's not going to answer," Tifa predicted.

As though to prove her wrong, the ringing finally stopped. "Who's this?" Vincent sounded wary, as though he already suspected who the caller was. "Cloud?"

"Surprise! It's me, Yuffie!" she squealed before Tifa could get a word in, spinning around in the swivel chair again. "Hi Vinny!" Tifa wondered how the girl could be this happy while torturing someone. Ignorance? Maybe.

There was a sigh of resignation from the other end. "What do you want?" The ex-turk asked with obvious displeasure. Tifa winced; didn't he know how dangerous it was to ask Yuffie that question? It might set her off on an hour-long rant, or at the very least produce a string of mindless chatter.

There was a broad grin on Yuffie's face as she propped her feet up on the desk, and began twisting the ends of her headband around her fingers. "Nothing, really. There's just something I wanted to ask you." More papers slid to the floor, but Yuffie either didn't notice or didn't care. Probably both.

"No." Vincent said, without even waiting for her to finish. "Not under any circumstances."

A frown appeared on Yuffie's face. "But Vin-ny," She whined, folding her arms across her chest. "You haven't even heard what I have to say yet. That isn't fair." One of her frequent mood swings hit, and she was instantly smiling again. "So…here's my question. Well, first, I want to say that I'm asking 'cause of something Tifa just did…"

Tifa made a wild grab for the phone, but Yuffie leapt up from the chair and onto the desk, taking the phone with her. She promptly knocked the rest of the papers to the floor in her struggle to evade Tifa's hands.

Since Yuffie had picked the phone up, Tifa couldn't hear Vincent's response, but Yuffie giggled. "Of course not, chocobo brain." She chortled. "Anyway, she just called Cloud, and-" Tifa made another attempt for the phone, but Yuffie jumped out of the way again; All of that energy was coming in handy. "-and asked him to-" she had to dodge another lunge, and landed on top of an (empty) filing cabinet in the corner. "Tifa asked Cloud out on a date." Yuffie finally managed to say, secure on her perch atop the cabinet.

"Yuffie!" Tifa cried in exasperation. "Why'd you tell him that?" Knowing Vincent, he probably wouldn't tell anyone, but the fact that Yuffie had snitched so readily was a reason to worry. Putting her hands on her hips, Tifa glared up at the ninja on the fining cabinet.

Yuffie rolled over onto her back, and braced her feet against the ceiling. "Yup. He sure did," She said, addressing Vincent. "They're going out for supper tonight." There was a long silence. "Vinny?" Yuffie ventured cautiously. "Will you go out with me?"

Despite the fact that speakerphone was off, Tifa could clearly hear Vincent's more than emphatic response:

"Hell no!"

Yuffie held the phone away from her ear, and shook her finger at it. "You're a very mean person, you know that?" She scolded angrily. "You oughta be ashamed of yourself, Vincent Valentine!" Her only reply was the dial tone. "Hhmph." She sniffed as she climbed back down to the floor. "Some people."

Meeting Tifa's eyes, Yuffie noticed the furious glare on her face. "What did I do?" She protested. "All I did was-"

"Forget it." Tifa sighed, something she'd been doing quite a bit that day. "I give up. What's next on the list?"

Digging the scrap of paper out of her pocket, Yuffie carefully scribbled a line through the words '6. Get Vincent to answer his phone.' Then, she tucked the pencil behind her ear, and scanned the rest of the list. "Hmmm… I think we should take number three: 'Get Cid to go a whole day without having a cigarette.' I heard he was in town, so this would be our best opportunity, right?"

She looked expectantly at Tifa. "Sure, why not? It's as good as any." Turning to leave, Tifa stopped in the doorway. " Why don't you give him a call, and see if he'll come over? It's almost happy hour, so he shouldn't need much convincing."

A knock sounded at the door, and Tifa ran down the stairs to see whom it was. Customer! She thought in elation. It's about time!

However, when she saw just who her customers were, she nearly turned around and headed back to the office.

Because as much as Yuffie annoyed her, Tifa had to admit that Reno was a close second.

Yay, that's my third and last chapter for today, 'cause I have to do my homework still. Bloody school.

Anyway, Reno showed up at the request of a friend of mine, exturk, who has added something to the list:

7. Get Reno a girlfriend.

Chapter 4 will be up when it is up. Bye now, and thanks for your reviews.