A/N: Wow. I never thought that this would make it to chapter 5. I'm shocked, actually, since I…gulp am really bad at finishing what I start. Well, sorta.

(Note: This was written in lieu of doing AP History homework, and very late at night to boot… It's definitely got more slapstick humor than the last four chapters did. Literally.)

Chapter Five: Lime Green Shoelaces

The victory with Reno had left Tifa feeling as though she could do anything. Normally, she would have remembered that feelings like that were quite dangerous, but she really wasn't paying attention, since Yuffie was still talking.

The topic had moved from whether or not she'd be invited to Tifa and Cloud's supposed wedding, to her favorite kind of cake, to what she'd done on her last birthday, to her favorite color, and had finally ended up with Yuffie prattling on about her shoelaces, of all things.

"I got them in Costa del Sol," She said proudly, displaying the neon green laces fastening her thigh-high boots. "They were really cheap, and I thought, 'Well, I've never had neon green shoelaces before, and-"

Tifa thumped Yuffie on the head with her fist, and the ninja was knocked unconscious in mid-sentence. As I said, Tifa was feeling impulsive at the moment. On the floor, Yuffie began to snore slightly.

For the first time since the ninja had proposed the plan to Tifa, the bar was utterly silent. Deciding to take in the moment of peace, Tifa closed her eyes, and took a deep breath.

And at that moment, the silence was shattered.

"Tifa! You and Strife really goin' out?" Cid literally burst through the door, causing it to collide with the wall and rebound, crashing back into its frame with a sound like a gunshot. "And what's this I hear about free drinks?"

Tifa buried her head in her arms. Is there anyone in this city who DOESN'T know? She wondered dismally. Her question was soon answered for here.

"So, Barret and I've got this runnin' bet on how long you guys'll stay together." Cid continued, stepping over Yuffie without a second thought and seating himself at the bar. "Current wager is 50 gil on four days. That's my opinion, by the way. Barret didn't give you guys twenty-four hours."

Nope. Guess everybody knows. Tifa thought morosely. She decided that, since Vincent, Reno, Yuffie, Barret, Cid, and likely Rude and the rest of the Turks knew about her and Cloud, she'd just give up trying to keep it a secret. That didn't mean she wasn't pissed about it.

"Cid." She growled through clenched teeth. "Do you see anything on the floor?"

Looking down, the pilot shrugged. "The crazy ninja chick is down there," he said dismissively. "Whadda ya getting' at?"

A dangerous look had appeared in Tifa's eyes. Cid gulped nervously. "She's down there," Tifa said slowly, "Because she wouldn't shut up. Am I clear?"

"Crystal." Cid mimed locking his mouth shut and throwing away the key. "So. Strife finally asked you, huh?"

Sitting down beside the pilot, Tifa reminded herself again that thumping people on the head was not always the right approach to take. It was a very hard thing to keep in mind when there were so many people she wanted to hit at the moment. "No. I asked him." She said firmly. As Cid's jaw fell open, she added, "Now, will you just drop it?"

Cid pulled out his ever-present pack of cigarettes, tapped the bottom, and pulled one out. "Sure, Tif. Make sure and tell me how it goes, alright?" He began digging around in one of his coat pockets for a lighter.

Suddenly, Tifa remembered the Grand Scheme, and snatched the cigarette out of Cid's hands. "No Smoking." She said firmly as Cid protested indignantly.

"I don't see no 'No Smoking' sign," Cid countered, drawing another cigarette from the pack. Tifa snatched that one too, along with those remaining in the pack.

"I bet you can't go one whole day without these." Tifa said slyly, holding the pack up.

Cid made a grab for them. "Of course I can," he growled. "Just give 'em back, and I'll prove it to you." He shouted, not really pleading, but not far from it.

Tifa just put the cigarettes in her pockets. "So you think you can do it, do you?" she asked again. "Think you can actually go a whole day without smoking a single cigarette?"

Cid nodded.

"Fine." Tifa said with a smile. Cid grinned too, sure that he was going to get his cancer-sticks back. But he had another think coming. "Prove it."

Cid slumped in his chair.

On the floor, Yuffie suddenly sat bolt upright. "-thought that they'd be kind of pretty, so I bought 'em, and yeah, they're kind cool." She smiled up at Tifa. "Hi!" She said cheerfully. "When'd you get here?"

Looking to Tifa for an explanation, Cid scratched his head. "What the hell is she going on about now?" he demanded, glancing down at the happily oblivious ninja, who didn't seem to care that she'd just been knocked unconscious.

"I think she's still talking about her shoelaces." Tifa said, in a slight daze. "That's what she was talking about before I knocked her out. She just…picked up right where she left off." It was true-Yuffie didn't seem to realize that she'd been knocked out, and continued to rant about her shoelaces, the fact that her head hurt, and how, from her current position, she could see some gum on the bottom of one of Cid's shoe.

With a groan, the pilot buried his head in his hands. "I want a smoke." He said miserably.

Tifa failed to feel sympathetic. "You haven't been with her all day." She put in. "I think that getting knocked out just scrambled her brains a bit more then they already were."

As if to prove Tifa right, Yuffie chose that moment to start singing.

Well, there you have it. Sorry about the lack of updating for the past few days, but my cruel and evil teachers have given me so much homework that I don't know what to do with myself, or it. But hey, that's life.

I feel like doing a shout out to all of the nice people who reviewed:

FinalFantasyFreak1234, a.girl.named.jake, exturk, Lt. Commander Richie, Matamis-bata, NRGburst, jason k lee, TexMex, and monitorscreen.

You are all awesome people. :)