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IDIOT
by Masked Lover

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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, not ever, never ever never.

Obito always trembled in amazement of the construction site, passing by it everyday to practice on his shadow copy. And every time he looked up at the lawn being put in and the tulips being planted he felt a pang of jealousy.

The huge gap between his family and the rest of the Uchiha's in the area was widening, like a village girl, he had to marry rich. It was the only way to bring his family out of the ditch, perhaps marrying into Kakashi's family had been one of the smartest decisions he ever had the chance to make.

It all seemed unfair as he watched the main family build yet another house on the large plot of land where he used to play as a child. Three generations of Uchiha lived in his small cramped house. Here he had been forced to watch as Mikoto directing a the creation of a new garden with Kakashi at her command, rummaging in the dirt.

Obito had always comforted himself, jeering at the house with cold words, how it was way too big for his tastes and suited a Hatake more than an Uchiha. The regular sour grapes.

Now standing in front of the gates to his own house he felt the nervousness build in his stomach.

What was this property tax on this baby?

"It's nice that everyone chose to bend tradition by letting us stay here alone, ne Kakashi." Obito turned to face a stern looking wife, Kakashi had been wearing a solid expression all night after seeing baby Sai. He had to admit, the black haired boy was growing nervous at Kakashi's expression. "Ah, I'm also sorry for being late."

Kakashi placed his arms around Obito and lifted him up in the air, causing said Uchiha to flail and kick. "Put me down! KAKASHIII!!"

"Shut up, it's so dark, you'll wake up the neighbourhood!" Although the new estate was in a isolated area, there was no way that anyone could really hear and the area was set with traps that would set off it someone disturbed them that night.

"I hear this is a tradition somewhere," Kakashi continued.

"Put me down," Obito protested, he was the man of the house and he was going to prove it to Kakashi in the bedroom.

"Size doesn't matter!" Kakashi spoke with a forced voice.

"C'mon Kakashi!!" He whined in a shrill voice, imitating one of Kakashi's many fan girls. "Let me down."

"Fine, I'll let you down," although he was reluctant to let the black haired boy go free, especially with what was planned for tonight.

His father had always jumped the sword to get something over with. Even fear didn't scare him... But... This was different, scary in it's own way.

"So what do we do now..."

"I dunno..." Obito murmured, he tried not to look Kakashi in the eye but despite feigning ignorance they both knew the truth, "I think we're supposed to do it."

[Four Months Months Later

"Kakashi!! Wake up!" He shook his spouse, hoping to rouse the boy from his sleep. "C'mon Kakashi. C'mon Kakashi! I know you can do it. It's almost lunch, come eat lunch"

Then he tried pulling the sheets off his spouse, but the edges were weighed down by Kakashi's weight.

There were things about Kakashi Obito quickly learned.

One.

He was not perfect.

Two.

Kakashi couldn't cook or clean properly. In fact he failed to do so. Especially clothes, now that Obito was in charge of laundry...

Laundry was a nightmare before... Every item of cloth that Kakashi had owned prior the their relationship had been dry-cleaned (at discount of course, he was Kakashi Hatake.) it had been hard to break the habit too.

...Cooking and cleaning previously done by maids now was a chore for both of them to... Mostly Obito to do and it had freed up a lot of money in Kakashi's bankbook.

It made Obito Uchiha want to wish he was less learned in household duties.

And that Kakashi was less of an ass.

"Ten more minutes, I only get two days off this week," a familiar phrase that Obito no longer bought. He struggled to reach his spouse under the blanket, but Kakashi pulled the sheets over his spiky hair and rolled away from Obito. Still, Kakashi, smiled to himself. Being married to the town idiot wasn't so bad.

"Fine," Obito rose and started to race for the door, "I'm going to eat your food in ten minutes if you don't get up."

"No don't!!!" The sheets flew off the poorly dressed Jounin flew up like a possessed scarecrow and darted after the food that he had taken for granted, careful not to slip despite his increasing dizziness.

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Prologue

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"I want to talk about our future," Obito said over his black coffee, as if were the same as discussing the weather or buying more toothpaste.

It was one of the new skills that the new Uchiha couple were both still developing in their early relationship:

How to break news or serious discussions properly.

"Future," a spurt of food came out Kakashi's mouth before he shoved it back under his the cloth covering his face and continued chewing. "You mean, yours and mine?!"

"WHO ELSE'S?!" Obito pounded the lacquer table with a closed fist several times, he looked at his hand with his chopsticks. "Sheesh, and they call me thick."

Somewhere down the line he wondered his he would have indents from where he was massaging his temples quite forcibly with his fingers.

"That's because I'm handsome, talented, beautiful, smart, rich and well-bred. Everyone forgets I'm not perfect because I'm pretty much close," Kakashi was almost sparkling with stars and sunbursts around him, he believed his words so much that the concept of Kakashi's self-assured coolness sent chills down Obito's back. Kakashi shoved the last grain of rice with his chopstick and presented his empty bowl. "More rice."

Begrudgingly Obito filled the small bowl, as Kakashi continued on his tirade. "What do you want to talk about? It better be important."

"In the future..." Obito continued with calculated steps, he could tell that even though Kakashi was acting disinterested he too was concerned.

It was a touchy subject for even those in their thirties, let alone for two boys who were barely teenagers and married. There was a silent war that was killing so many of their comrades that it would be insane not to budget and plan ahead so early into their marriage.

Kakashi had almost wished he had brought up the subject as he had more dire news, but karma and fate was presenting itself an opportunity to ride a wave instead. "In the future, I'm aiming to become a school teacher or a member of our government in the future. And..."

"Also, I think that we should discuss if we're going to be together in the future." Obito continued, "in case I die... Or something happens to one of us. We have to make a plan... For the future..."

"We just got married two months ago..." Kakashi stated, pretending to be stupid, but there was a slight hurt tone to his voice.

"Four months ago," Obito wiped away his faint tears, his hands trembling on his knees. "I'm sorry Kakashi. Well... Okay, so now, I'm talking twenty years down the line!"

"There are a lot of girls and guys that want me, and if I wanted to be with them--" Obito's eyes met Kakashi's, a vulnerability flickered in those domes. He struggled with the tough act but even Kakashi didn't know who he was trying to fool with it. "You couldn't stop me."

Dead silence ate the home in a single gulp.

"BUT being married to you wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, having someone at home that could clean and cook meals..." Kakashi threw in a compliment to try to put his husband's mind at ease. "And you're pretty well hung for someone our age so it's not so bad. I don't know why you're so short but I think I'd rather be short if I could get a nice wang too. I mean really, I worry about the future, I mean what happens if it grows too big? Then I guess we'd have to switch roles..."

The white haired Jounin looked at his egg and tsked, "look what you did to me, Obito. I'm talking like you now."

Kakashi looked up to see an expression opposite and to the left of what he had expected... Which was sadness.

"Uwah, you're blushing," Kakashi commented, ever so boldly.

"I..." Obito stammered, "I'd like to have at least two children, in the future."

"I was also thinking of us having children, I was thinking we can take advantage of the program that funds young couples who have children." Almost instantly Kakashi attempted to procure the brochure for the program, but Obito was stammering and overall confused with how well the subject had gone over with his spouse. "When I think about it we should be having children now, because at least we'll still be able to benefit off the government's money."

Obito finished his last piece of egg, happy to big back on track. "Now, you don't mean now, now, you mean in a couple of years, right?"

"No, I mean now."

There was a deafening silence again, it was then that Obito noticed his Kakashi's hand was resting firmly his own stomach.

"I think I'm pregnant."

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TBC

Authors Note:

No time for words, but I'm sincerely sorry that his is MANY MONTHS LATE!!! Next, Mahou no Kotoba or... Charming Princes something... It's been so long that I've forgotten my own chapter names.

Sorry for the constant grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm on a mac and am too poor to afford myself Word.