A/N's: I have to apologize for how long it took me to update this. So now I shall run off my long list of excuses... as usual. First off, I ran into mental health issues when I think I finally went bonkers and I just completely stopped writing for a bit. Secondly, School has been a major weight. My geo mark was super low and I had to work my butt off to being it up. Band and Rugby are now going out full force and I'm uber busy. Music class is also dragging me along. so it's hard for me to get time to write. Thirdly, my grandmother died just recently of cancer and (I think influenza or ammonia) related problems and that's affected me a bit and isn't doing great for my mental health either but I'm living and I finally found a bit of downtime to do some writing (actually right now I'm skipping on practicing my scales for music class... tee hee) I'm gonna get this out like... now so it's kinda short and I probably wrote this in maybe 10 -20 minutes. Enjoy if it's possible. I'll attempt to write more in the morn if I have time.

Disclaimer: I don't own TOS.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

'I must be out of my head, it must be something I said...'

-Out of my head by Mobile

Chapter 7: Childish Selfishness

The boy has no memory. He doesn't know what's right or wrong. He's mine now... you can't stop me. The boy heard these words over and over again. His Lords fought constantly, but he thought nothing of it. His only job was to listen to his Lord, who had blonde hair and translucent wings that appeared to be a bit pink-ish. He didn't seem to notice, as he read through the many books in the libraries, that people were being indirectly killed by his Lord's ways. He either didn't notice... or just didn't care. Or as one he overheard one of his other lords say 'He just doesn't know how to care.' He ignored the many arguements that his blue haired lord came to his blonde lord with. He couldn't even remember any of them. He only remembered his Lord's words, which normally consisted of kicking his blue haired lord out of the room. His Lord, Lord Yggdrasill, called him Lloyd and Lloyd's blue haired lord, was Yuan.

Lloyd had no memory of ever being raised by anyone, so he barely had a personality. Normally, he spent his time reading or zoning out with his lifeless eyes. Sometimes he even day dreamed of the awesome power he would have one day once he became a Seraphim, like his Lord promised him. Of course, his other lords did not know of this. It was their own little secret. As the months rolled by, Lloyd slowly gained a personality. He became caring and obediant but merciless in battle and a bit cold and distant. He was a silent one but very intelligent.

Lloyd knew that his sixth birthday was near. For some reason, he felt excited and he even told his Lord Yggdrasill about it. When he did, his Lord gave him a strange smirk that made the hair on the back of neck stand up. He told him that on the day of his birthday, he would recieve great power. Lloyd's eyes brightened when he heard this. Power... was what he wanted. He liked his Lord. He cared for him even. He wanted to prove that he was powerful enough to be worthy to serve under him...and he'd do anything to make sure that he attained that power.

A week before his birthday, Lloyd ran into his Lord Yuan, who pulled him aside for a small chat. The air was a bit thick with tension. His Lord Yuan wasn't happy about something... and it invloved him.

"Does something ail you, Lord Yuan?" Lloyd asked as politely as he could. He couldn't show that his lord was sort of freaking him out.

"Lloyd, please just talk normally. Listen, I heard about what Yggdrasill has promised you and-"

"Isn't it wonderful? Soon I'll be able to prove that I'm worthy to stay here," Lloyd said cheerfully. Yuan sighed sadly. The boy had never been this happy before. Telling him not to accept Yggdrasill's gift would be difficult but it had to be done.

"Lloyd... you don't know what you're getting yourself into. You cannot accept Yggdrasill's deal. This initiation is too difficult for you to endure." Lloyd's heart sank. Why not? Why couldn't he get the power that he deserved and wanted oh so badly?

"But... why, my lord?"

"Because, you're too young to handle that power. It will devour your mind and body if you take it. Please, Lloyd-"

"Yuan, I need to talk to you." A man had a appeared behind Lloyd's lord Yuan. It was his other lord, Lord Kratos. Lloyd never thought much of him because he rarely saw him. Lloyd didn't even bother looking at him. Instead, he stared down at his shoes, worrying about if he was going to get the power he needed soon or not. Yuan put his hands on his shoulders.

"Lloyd... trust me." And with that Yuan walked off with Kratos. Lloyd looked up at the pair and stared at Kratos but then looked away when he realized that Kratos was watching him,

Lloyd sat in his room that night thinking. He needed that power. He didn't care if he was being selfish. He wanted that power enough to risk his life for it...so he would. He would go against his Lord Yuan's wishes, and try to attain the power he believed was rightfully his. He would hear his Lord Yggdrasill say 'This is the day when you can finally gain true power.' And he would embrace the opportunity.

------------------------------------------------------

Me: WOW I need to find mroe downtime...

Anna: Yes you do. It's been awhile.

Me: Yeah... ok that was short. I'll try writing tomorrow morn and tomorrow after schoool and I may have another chappie out before I know it but no promises. I have a few tests coming up that I have to study for this weekend and I need to do more exercise cuz I have some rugby games coming up. I'll let you know if I live.

Anna: Please Review.

Me: (yawn) g'night...

------------------------------

Preview: Chapter 8: Childish Illness

'Yggdrasill, if he dies... I'll kill you.'

'So you first you attempt to kill him and now you want to ship off to Sylvarant to hand him over to Kvar?!"

'Research with the Angelus Crown... hm very interesting.'