Hello again my various reader type things! I think this should be a funnier chapter, because I'm like, high, and it should be funny… but no guarantees.

Thanks to all who reviewed! I really love reading your reviews!

("What it this weren't a hypothetical question?)

Anonymous

After taking out about half the boy's gym class all on my lonesome, because the rest of the hopeless fan girls just let themselves be hit. Not that they can throw anything anyways, so I guess it doesn't matter. Decidedly, it would be better it the stupid loser who call themselves boys just chucked all their ammo at me, and then I could just throw everything back in rapid fire. And so, with my mighty genius plan in mind, I spent my next five minutes dodging and musing over why they didn't realized (somewhere in their pea sized minds) why I was not chucking spherical things at them as well. Obviously, they didn't realize anything. Tch, idiots.

Ss now here I stand, all of about twenty balls scattered across the gym floor around me, and ten boys (including four of the stupid five, I think Pineapple Boy dropped out because it was 'troublesome') standing in various ready positions in front of me, with absolutely no ammo whatsoever. Their loss. With a shrug I began to toss the red circles with alarming accuracy at, ahem, extremely sensitive places. Four boys lying in pain on the floor, six to go!

Then it distracted me again. First time at the basketball game, and now this. It was the hair. Boy's shouldn't have hair that nice. It's a crime against humanity. Anyways, the Hyuuga boy's hair was dancing around in the air (an Irish jig, actually. No of course not! You can't believe everything you read.) and it called to mind a shampoo commercial I had seen between parts of my favorite anime. One of my thrown weapons (the red things, that's we're throwing at each other, remember?) came pelting back and hit me on the outside of my leg. The boy who had thrown it began laughing at me, for some incredibly stupid reason I cannot comprehend. Choosing to ignore his obvious stupidity, I decided it would be interesting to see if Wedgie could actually pull off the head – hair flick thing.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ignored his rude question as I marched across the gym with gusto. Yes, gusto, from someone who had just been beaten, not that I care about such trivial things. I grabbed the sides of the taller boy's head and cranked his neck around at mach five. Surprisingly (or not as such, depending on what you're reading) his hair actually did the flippy thing. Will wonders never cease.

"Holy crap! Are you trying to give me whiplash, woman!" Screamed Neji angrily, reaching out to grab me, but wisely, I stepped back.

"No, I was trying to see if your hair would do that flippy thing. Actually, you should audition for a shampoo commercial. Preferable on advertising female hair products." I said, passing on my extreme wisdom to the obviously oblivious boy in front of me. Before he could thank me for my wise words of wisdom, however, Genma interrupted, commanding me to take the 'great and almighty' Hyuuga Neji to the nurse's office to get treatment for his non-existent whiplash. Sadly, I have been recruited to be his chaperone, much to my displeasure. Probably his as well. So, as I have no choice but to take Mr. Fancy-smancy pants down to the nurses office, I grabbed his wrist and pulled him after me, the fan girls erupting in 'kyas' and 'no fairs' behind me. They are such wimps and followers. Halfway down the hallway to the nurse's office Wedgie decides to grace me with the great knowledge of knowing he possesses the ability to speak.

"Could you let go off my wrist?" He asked rudely. I rolled my eyes and dropped his wrist like a hot coal.

"Yes master, sorry master, would you like me to lick your shoes, master?" I asked sarcastically.

"No, you'd get cooties all over them." He answered plainly, as if this little piece of information was common knowledge.

"Uh, right then. I don't think 'cooties' is actually a word, but whatever floats your boat." I responded, making a right turn into the nurse's office. With a sharp kick the door flew open and I walked right into a scene I wish hadn't ever seen in my life. With my superb ninja skills I sensed Neji stop behind me. Fine, he crashed into me in shock, but that's not the point.

"Asuma-sensei, Kurenai-sensei?!" I spluttered, just as the nurse, Shizune, walked into the room and managed to drop all her medicines she was carrying on a tray all over the floor, he face bright red.

"Asuma and Kurenai! Never, in all my days as nurse, have I walked into my office and found two teaches setting such a horrible example for students!"

"You mean he was doing very inappropriate things to her." I stated bluntly, causing Kurenai to go a deep shade of maroon. I think her face is going to explode from the blood pressure. Shizune sighed and ushered them out of her office and told them to behave, but I think they just went off to find a broom closet somewhere.

"Alright then," She sighed, after Neji and I had helped her pick up all the medicines and other nurse junk that had been scattered when she dropped them. "What are you two here for?"

"I gave him non-existent whiplash." I said, "He thinks he's going to die and so I was forced to bring him here so you could confirm for his pea-sized brain that he never actually had whiplash." I added in a cloud of incorrect grammar.

"Alright, but I should still give him a check up." Shizune said pleasantly, "Please sit over here, Hyuuga-san."

"Yes Shizune-sensei." He responded.

"Oh my gosh! You have vocal chords!" I exclaimed, feeling the need to express my deep and profound thinking. He gave me an annoyed glance before sitting down on the really uncomfortable looking plastic bed. Shizune began to poke and prod him while asking him if he felt anything. After a while I guess she deduced that I had been telling to truth.

"Well, Hyuuga-san, it seems that Yumi-san was right all along." She said, nodding at me. Of course I'm right; I'm that one who supposedly gave him whiplash. With a roll of my eyes I nodded and asked if I could leave. Shizune gave permission and Neji acted as if he had just had his vocal chords removed. I.e. He said nothing. With a little wave I flounced out of the classroom and into the hallway. I took a few steps down the long abbess, and I found my self crashing into a tall balding man.

"Yumi-san!" I glanced up to see Genma looming over me in all his hair-less glory.

"Oh my, you're using my last name now!" I exclaimed from my slightly uncomfortable position on the floor. He grunted in response. How's that for articulate?

"Yes, yes, Yumi-san. Would you please remove yourself from the floor? I have something important to inform you of." He asked. I shrugged and heaved myself to my feet, knees protesting. God I feel old…

"Aiya, anyways, what do you need to tell me?"

"Yes, Yumi-san. Originally there was going to be a separate room for the assistant coach, but now it seems that you will have to bunk in the guy's dorm room." I starred at him, lost for words. "Also, I have told your teachers thet you will not be present on Friday at school, as you need to go get your disguise done without the chances of any of the team seeing you." I nodded slowly. He nodded back and turned away. Great, I have half a day to become a guy now. Joy.

(Ring Ring Ring)

"Mom, can you drive me to the mall, pay for a haircut and streaks, and then to Sai's house so I can steal his clothes?" I called, pulling a baggy black sweatshirt over my head.

"Fine, fine." My mom knows were I'm going. It would be scandalous not to tell her. I was kind of hoping that she wouldn't let me go, but she was all ecstatic and happy that her 'little girl' is good enough to coach boys. Please excuse me whist I go barf. "Let's go."

I pulled on my black vans and jumped out the door, landing in a slushy puddle of half melted snow. My mother scolded me as we made our way through the snow – rain to the car. I clambered into the passenger seat and slipped the seatbelt over my shoulder. With a twist of the key my mom started the car and backed cautiously out of the driveway.

Within fifteen minutes we had made it the mall and gotten me seated in one of those leather salon chairs. An Asian woman was taking commands from my mother and I, cutting my hair so it was long and messy for a boy, but extremely short for a girl. She also gave me side bangs, which I think look better than my fringe and buns before. Afterwards the lady, her name's Ge Lai Si or something, streaked my bangs red. I like it. I bounced out of my hair after my mother. We were walking out of the salon when one of my mothers friends came rushing up.

"Ah, hello! Oh.." Then her eyes widened. I mentally laughed. "I didn't know you had a son!" My mother is shocked into extreme silence, which is very out of character for her.

"No, I'm her nephew, er…" I said, pausing at the end. Name, I need a name.

"Tian. My nephew Tian." Cut in my mother.

"Nice to meet you, Tian. What an odd name." My mother's friend held out her hand. I took it warily.

"Yes, many people say that but…" I stopped. Oh no. I should leave now…

To be continued…

Sorry this chapter is short…