---------------Alter-Ego---------------
Chapter 4
"Have you been shopping in Corus since you arrived?"
Kel shook her head and felt her auburn curls wobble. What would a lady say? "No, but I hope to go soon."
Neal offered a wide smile that suddenly made Kel painfully aware of all the places he was still touching her. Gods, why does this song seem to be going on forever? I would've thought I'd enjoy dancing with Neal, but it's exactly the opposite! Then Kel realised Neal was talking and she hurriedly focused on his voice again.
"...other people to go with, but I'd be honoured to show you around Corus on Sunday."
Kel's mind whirred for a moment before she understood what he was offering and stifled the urge to laugh. He couldn't show anyone around anywhere on Sunday. He'd be doing punishment work all day for all the work he'd not done during the week. Maybe he was planning to skip the punishment work to show "Mia" around, only to get triple as much later? But that's ridiculous! Kel thought disbelievingly. All that work for a couple of hours with a pretty girl? He's out of his mind!
Well, that doesn't change the fact that I can't accept his offer. I'll have punishment work that day too, and unlike him I actually intend to do it. Not only that but I'm never going to be Mia again. I can't believe I even went along with it in the first place - I'm deceiving everyone and missing out on work that I really ought to do.
It took only a few seconds to create an excuse. Kel took a deep breath and gushed, "I wish I could, Nealan-- I mean, Neal, but I only came to Tortall to go to the convent. My home fief is in Galla, and I'm returning there on Saturday." She paused and then added, "And as much as I'd like to, I don't think I'll be coming back to Tortall."
Neal gaped at her. "You won't?" he said, as if hoping she'd admit that she'd been joking. Kel felt her heart wrench as what had once been a charming smile crumbled away into disbelief and then resignation. "Oh."
Kel rushed to reassure him. "I didn't think I'd like it here, but I really do, and there are a lot of nice people that I've met, including you, of course, so I'll be really sad to go. It's just... my father is already making marriage plans with nobles in Galla, so I can't stay. If it's any consolation, I'll be at all the balls this week, so it's not like we won't see each other again..."
"I suppose that's a small consolation," he said, smiling wanly. "If only I didn't have lessons during the day, I'd show you around then."
Kel almost tripped over her skirts as she considered her reply. Somehow she had to keep the conversation going - all ladies learnt that kind of thing at the convent, which, evidently, Kel hadn't been to. At that moment she almost wished she had. "Oh... so..." she cringed and finished lamely, "you're a page?"
Neal didn't seem to notice her struggle with a conversation topic and grinned. "You're thinking I look older than my page friends, aren't you?" At this his chest seemed to inflate outwards several inches, probably for good reason. The ladies who had just escaped the convent would hardly take a young boy of eleven or twelve seriously, page or no. Most ladies married men many years their senior. "I started training five years late. At first I wanted to be a healer, but I changed my mind and became a page. Though I still practise my skills once in a while."
"Ah," Kel said weakly, trying to feign a look of interest while she absorbed this information she'd already heard several times as Neal's best friend. "And do you enjoy being a page?"
Neal was silent for a moment. "...For the most part, yes." He was smiling again, and once again it set Kel's heart racing. "Sometimes I hate all the work we're given, and I'm so tired I can hardly walk in a straight line, but it's great really. There are a lot of nice people at the palace. Some... some aren't so nice." Kel followed his gaze to Joren and Garvey standing at the edge of the dance floor. "Just a tip - stay away from the blonde page and his friends. They're... rough, if you get my meaning."
Kel nodded firmly - as if she needed warning to avoid Joren at all costs. She'd flee from him like the plague if he came near - and if she couldn't, she'd show him "Mia" wasn't the pretty, gentle lady she appeared to be. That raised another issue, though - what if someone worked out who she really was? What could she do then? She might be forced to reveal a few skills an ordinary lady wouldn't have, or something awful might happen like her wig falling off or her eyes changing colour before she got back to the safety of her rooms. Kel knew that she had to prepare for the possibility that something might threaten the safety of her disguise.
"Speaking of nice people at the palace, shall we go back to my friends? The song's about to end," Neal explained.
Kel smiled and said, "I'd like that." Placing a hand on his arm still sent shivers down her spine, but at least it was better than dancing with him. With a polite smile, she listened attentively to the small talk he made as they crossed the room to Neal's group of friends. They were all still there. It seemed none of them had plucked up the courage to ask anyone else for a dance.
Once they got there, Neal mentioned that she was leaving for Galla on Saturday, and a flood of questions followed: what is Polar's Cliff like? Is Tortall different to Galla much? Have you met Daine the Wildmage, who's also from Galla? Kel invented answers as best she could with a blank smile set on her face, though inside her heart was beating faster than it had ever pounded doing exercise and her palms were slippery with sweat. The last thing Kel felt like was a lady.
Eventually answering the questions grew more difficult as she had to remember the answers she'd given to earlier questions to make sure that newer answers weren't incompatible or didn't make sense. "I thought I'd be dancing and enjoying myself at this ball, not being interrogated," she joked smoothly, once the pressure really started to get to her. The boys laughed and Kel congratulated herself - maybe she was getting used to this conversation lark.
"If that's so, maybe you'd like to dance with me next?" Merric offered, his cheeks almost as flaming as his hair. Before Kel could reply, Neal cut in.
"Sorry, Merric, but I already promised Lady Mia I'd introduce her to Prince Roald, and it looks like he's free."
Merric scowled but didn't object.
Kel followed Neal's lead by thanking him and, as they were about to leave, she turned to Merric and said, "Maybe later?"
His cheeks flushed again and he nodded. As Neal led her away Kel distinctly heard the words "hog" and "unfair" from behind them. She smiled to herself at the way the boys were always best of friends until it came to sharing pretty ladies.
Neal took her straight to the Prince, who wasn't quite as free as Neal had said. Roald was standing with two middle-aged nobles who were arguing amongst each other. Occasionally he put in a polite sentence or nodded solemnly but otherwise he was silent, and the nobles never spoke to him directly to invite him into the conversation. Upon seeing Neal and "Mia", Roald caught the two nobles' attention and said quietly, "If you'll excuse me," before turning away from them. Then he quickly glanced at his friend and Mia. "Hello, Neal. Have you brought someone for me to meet?"
"Yes, I have," Neal said jovially. "This is Lady Mia of Polar's Cliff in Galla. Lady Mia, this is Prince Roald, my friend."
"Pleased to meet you," Roald said, bowing. Kel curtsied back. "I paid a visit to Cría when I was younger, and it is a very beautiful city."
I don't know why he's complimenting Cría, Kel thought. It's not like I own it. "Thank you," Kel said anyway, pretending to be pleased.
"It would be rude of me not to ask now we've been introduced, so would you like to dance with me?"
There was only one reply to the offer of a dance from the Crown Prince. "I'd be honoured."
Neal's face immediately began to contort into a scowl. Roald smiled at him and said mildly, "Is something wrong, Neal?"
"Not at all," Neal replied through gritted teeth. "I was just thinking I would go and get a drink." He looked at Roald sharply and added, "Enjoy yourselves." With that, he was gone.
Roald led her out onto the dance floor. Knowing Roald was quite quiet, Kel took the initiative and began a conversation. "You're a page too, aren't you?" she asked politely. She felt Roald place a hand on her hip and tried to ignore the bizarre feeling it gave her. She'd never really thought of Roald, or any of her page friends except Neal, as boys. Well, she knew they were boys, she'd just never really thought of them as the kind of boys you'd have a relationship with.
Dancing with them like this, however, made her suddenly aware of what they might be thinking. Here was a pretty lady, dancing with them, with her face quite close to theirs. Kel drove her thoughts away from what else they might be thinking - Neal in particular, who seemed the most eager to keep her stuck to his side like a burr.
"I am, yes," he replied. "You've met most of the other pages, haven't you? I can see them over your shoulder."
"Really?" Kel said, pretending to be interested. "Are they looking at us?"
"Yes." He paused. "Neal is shooting glares at me."
Kel couldn't help but laugh. Roald was being anything but formal, which made her slightly more comfortable.
"The others are too," Roald added. "But Neal the most. I think he's quite taken with you." At that point in the dance they spun round 180 degrees, and Kel could then see everyone. Suddenly the glares morphed into forced smiles. She turned her attention back to Roald.
"Perhaps I should give you back before they get too jealous," he said. "I don't like to end a dance in the middle of a song, but there are others who want to talk to me, too." His gaze flicked to the left where hordes of nobles and scholars waited, occasionally glancing at Roald with a very deliberate look. "I hope you don't mind, Lady Mia." Kel shook her head quickly. "It was nice to meet you. Perhaps I will see you tomorrow?"
Kel nodded. "I hope so." Roald let his hands fall to his sides and he bowed. He only stuck around long enough to see her curtsy and then he strolled towards the waiting nobles. Kel was about to walk back to Neal's group when Merric intercepted.
"How about that dance?" he asked. Kel nodded and returned to the dancefloor, already feeling like her feet were covered in blisters.
After dancing with Merric it seemed like the floodgates opened and suddenly there seemed to be so many men asking for a dance that she barely had a second to breathe between each one. There were a couple of pages, several squires and quite a few knights, most of whom she'd never seen before in her life. Then there were a few young scholars and other noblemen, someone from the Own, and a merchant from Tyra. At one point she even saw Joren approaching, and she almost froze in fear, but someone got to her before him. Luckily he faded into the crowds and didn't try to approach again.
By the time she escaped the men and returned to Neal and the pages, the ball was ending and people were beginning to leave. Kel couldn't have been happier. She suspected she'd lost more weight dancing than she'd ever lost during all her page training put together. Fainting with relief seemed like a very good thing to do, though she restrained when she remembered that she'd be doing this all over again the next day.
"Lady Mia," said Neal's voice. Kel tugged herself back to reality. "Since you're new to the palace, you probably don't know the way to your rooms, and I'd hate for you to get lost. Could I escort you to your quarters?"
Kel blinked. There were two problems with accepting that: one, her rooms weren't in the guest wing as he probably suspected, they were in the page's wing. Which she couldn't go to without arousing considerable suspicion. And she could hardly let him lead her to the guest wing, stand outside a random door and then stand there waiting for him to go. He'd probably wait until she'd gone inside to make sure she hadn't lost her key or something.
And then there was the second problem: what he might try to do to her outside her room. Kiss her, maybe. Which would be bad. Very bad. If that happened, she'd probably spend all day during page lessons looking at Neal and thinking about how he'd kissed her, when he thought he'd kissed some beautiful, charming young lady fresh from the convent. And then he might also try to do more than just kiss her if Kel's feelings got the better of her and she kissed him back. Seeing as she was supposedly 16, he might think it perfectly acceptable to do far more than just kissing.
And that would be very, very bad.
"That's okay," she said firmly. "I'll just follow my friends from the convent back. Their rooms are next to mine, so..."
"Very well," Neal said, with no hint of upset at being rejected. He reached forward, took her hand, and kissed it gently. "I'll see you tomorrow, I hope?"
"Of course," Kel said shakily. After similar goodbyes from the other boys, she quickly lost herself in a crowd of giggling ladies and followed them halfway to the guest wing in case anyone was watching. Then she slipped into a side corridor and lingered there, waiting for all the pages to go back to their rooms so they wouldn't see her. Once she thought the coast was clear she swiftly walked toward the pages' wing, restraining the urge to run. Finally she got to her door and slipped inside, thanking all the gods for getting there unnoticed.
Lalasa sat in the window seat with a lamp beside her, with fabric laid over her lap and a needle in her hand. Outside the sun had set completely and the stars were out. It must have been very late. Seeing her, Lalasa lit another lamp and gave it to Kel.
"How was it, my lady?" she asked.
"Terrifying," Kel replied immediately.
Lalasa smiled brightly. "I'm sure tomorrow's ball will be better. I just need to go and borrow some thread from Tian, I won't be long." She gently laid down her work and slipped out the door.
Kel stood for a while, utterly exhausted. I ought to get out this wig, I suppose. And wash off the face paint. Slowly she walked to the privy with her lamp, tugged the wig off, and began to scrub at the face paint with a bowl of warm water that Lalasa must have brought up for her.
A knock on the door startled her. It must be Lalasa, she reminded herself. She looked at the wig, wondering what to do with it, and then picked it up and went to the door with her lamp. I'll ask Lalasa where to put the wig.
Then she realised it couldn't be Lalasa at the door. Two male voices were talking outside. There was another knock.
"She's not answering," said Cleon's voice.
Kel froze in fear.
"Maybe she's asleep. It is late," Roald's voice suggested.
Go away, go away, go away, Kel thought urgently, still holding the wig and the lamp shakily.
"Kel did say today she'd sleep while we were at the ball," Cleon said. "Do you think we should check? There's some light coming from under the door - maybe she fell asleep over her work with a lamp on." Kel hurried to snuff out her lamp, but it was already too late. They'd seen it.
There was a terrifying wait in complete and utter silence. Kel's heart was beating like an ominous drum.
Then the door opened a crack, and Roald's head peered in.
He squinted around the room for a while, and then his gaze settled on her. For a long time he seemed to stare at her, gaze flicking from her dress, then her face, then the wig in her hands. Then comprehension dawned on his face. He didn't say anything.
"Well?" Cleon's voice drifted in.
Roald bit his lip for a second and then said, "She's asleep in bed. We should go."
He stared at her again for what seemed like forever and then his head disappeared and the door shut gently.
Kel stood there, frozen in shock, still gripping the wig with white-knuckled hands.
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Ah, what an evil cliffy. Anyway, I'm so sorry for the ridiculous wait. I'd like to thank SarahE7191 for sending me a PM asking me to update, because it worked and I wrote this in two days. So I'm proud of myself. I've been planning further chapters and I have loads of ideas which led to my new saying "The evil plot bunnies are ravaging my carrot field of sanity". So yes, expect lots in the future :) Thanks for all the support over my hiatus, I hope to keep updating weekly. Please review and tell me if this chapter was worth the wait!