Marissa slowly walking into her bedroom, expecting Sean to be in the shower, but was surprised when she saw him sprawled out on the floor, completely unconscious. She ran to his side, begging for him to wake up, and when she received no reply, she called an ambulance.

Sean stayed in the hospital for four days while they ran a number of tests on him to see what was wrong. Marissa had known he wasn't feeling well lately, he had lost weight because he had lost his appetite, he would sleep for hours on end but yet still feel fatigued and was awoken with horrible headaches at night. And while she asked him to see a doctor, he just waved it off, saying it was "nothing, it will go away in a couple days."

Now she knew, this wasn't anything, something was wrong. Before they had discussed with them results of the tests, Sean spoke with her privately. She sat, waiting for him to speak. "Sean…honey what's wrong?" Marissa asked, fearing the worst. Sean grabbed onto her hand, running his thumb back and forth on the back of her hand. "Marissa…I haven't been honest with you" he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" Marissa asked softly, grasping onto his hands harder. "When I was young…I was really active, I was always running and I loved to be outside whenever I could…but when I was nine, I was diagnosed with leukemia" he said. Marissa felt her lips start to quiver, but she forced herself to stay strong, she forced herself to stay brave, even if she felt the exact opposite. "I was given a bone marrow transplant from my dad and it worked…for a little while." Sean slowly brought his gaze up to meets her and she saw the look in his eyes, he was used to this, he was used to being sick.

"But when I was fifteen, the leukemia came back and I had to go through everything again. The bone marrow transplant, the chemotherapy, everything. It was really hard" he said quietly as he took his eyes away from hers and gazed out the window. "And now Marissa, its back…I don't need to hear the results to know…it's happening again" he said barely above a whisper. Marissa felt tears work their way down her cheeks, she rushed over to Sean, losing herself in his arms. The doctor come to see them a little later where he said that Sean's leukemia was back, Acute Leukemia it was…the worst of them all.

They followed all the steps again, the bone marrow transplant, the chemotherapy…but it seemed like this time, the cancer wasn't going to be so easy to get rid of. Sean looked completely different, his hair was gone from the chemo, along with an excess amount of his weight. He could hardly walk anymore, the energy he used to have completely gone from his body. Sean's parents and Marissa's parents came out to Charleston, trying to help in any way that they could, but it was no use. There was nothing that anyone could do.

The months slowly passed by, treatment after treatment for Sean. He was getting sicker every day; they all knew it, especially Sean. The man that she married, not so long ago, no longer existed and was replaced by a weak and tired boy. The families coped as well as they could together, trying to make Sean and each other feel better while their families slowly unraveled.

Marissa felt her world shake violently around her. She felt like she on a ride at the carnival that just wouldn't stop spinning. She felt like she was in a bad dream that she couldn't wake up from. "You know I love you" she heard him say weakly. Marissa smiled through her soft tears, "I was so happy that day you went out with me Marissa…you were the person I was looking for my entire life…and I thank god that I found you" he said to her, making a small sob escape her lips. "And I know that you don't love me the way I love you…but I'm okay with that" and as Marissa went to interject, he shook his head, "just listen…I'm aware that you don't love me the way I love you, but I'm happy anyway because I had the chance to be with you Marissa" he said softly, tears gathering in his eyes.

"I got to wake up to you every day for so long, and I was lucky enough to become your husband" he said with a smile. "You'll always be the love of my life…even if I'm not the love of yours, but I'm still happy as hell" he said with a small laugh. Marissa felt more tears fall from her eyes, not knowing what to say to him, he was right, she didn't love him the way he loved her, but she never let that irritate her. Sean was one of the most remarkable men in the world, so why would it have bothered her if she didn't love him unconditionally? "Life isn't perfect and there are things that we can't stop…but there are reasons for the good…and the bad" he said. Marissa listened to his words, watching him as he slowly fell back asleep, she leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, "I love you Sean Matthews" she said with a smile as he softly smiled at her words and fell asleep.

She came back that night after taking a shower and there sat his parents crying outside his room, and she knew, she knew Sean had died. She felt herself collapse onto the ground and sob helplessly into her hands, feeling that the ride had just starting spinning faster.

Ryan slowly followed her, looking at the sight around him, trying to piece together what was going on. Her strong voice brought him out of his mind encompassing thoughts. "I was married Ryan" she said as she turned to him, watching his shocked expressions. He stood speechless, not knowing what to say to her. "His name was Sean Matthews…and he was one of the greatest men I ever met" she said softly as she locked her gaze with his. "I didn't know…" he said, at a loss for words, "I know…I never told you…it's something I keep to myself" she said quietly. She turned to the headstone next to them; there laid a beautifully made marble grey headstone.

Ryan read the headstone, and rested his gaze on her as she looked at the headstone, leaning down to place the new flowers on the grave, she placed them vertically. She came back up, finding his gaze, "we can talk about it…I'll meet you at the car in a couple minutes" she said as she glanced back at her car. Ryan nodded and made his way back to her car. He watched as she leaned down once again, resting on her knees, he saw her speak quiet words, place her fingers on lips and then on the headstone before lifting herself back up. Ryan sat in the front seat as she came back to the car and got in, uncharacteristically quiet.

Ryan and Marissa sat in Marissa's living room. Ryan basked in the long story that Marissa had just told to him. He had so many questions, so many thoughts, so many words, but at the moment, nothing could escape his lips. "I think this is the first time in my life that I'm actually speechless" he mumbled. He saw Marissa's mouth curve upward, letting a small smile rest on her delicate face. "This is why I ran out last night... Sean was my husband, and it's hard for me to accept that I have to move on at some point, because I feel like I'm betraying him" Marissa said as her lips began to quiver. "Even though I know Sean wouldn't want me to be alone, I still feel guilty…he loved me so much" Marissa said as a tear escaped her eye.

My song is love…love to the loveless shown.
And it goes up… You don't have to be alone.

Ryan felt his chest constrict at the sight of her crying, it was heart shattering just to watch. "Why didn't you tell me?" Ryan asked quietly, he knew this situation had nothing to do with him, but he couldn't help but wonder. Marissa wiped the tears off her face and sat back against her couch, "Its just…just that...I never thought that me and you, I never thought that we would be something" she said. Ryan nodded his head and took a sip of the water that was in front of him, hoping to get rid of the lump that had seemed to lodge itself in his throat.

"I didn't realize that I was falling for you" she said softly and he quickly raised his head, "not until the night that you kissed me. It felt like in one second, I was inundated with all these feelings and…" Marissa said as she ran her hand through her long tresses, "and it scared me" Marissa admitted. Ryan felt himself smile, a small smile, barely noticeable, but a smile nonetheless.

"Can I ask you something?" Ryan asked quietly, after the interim moment of silence. Marissa nodded her head as the wind from the open window blew some of the hair surrounding her face. "Were you in love with Sean?" Ryan asked tentatively. Marissa seemed to be unfazed by the question, as if she had been asked that same question a million times, or maybe she had been asking herself? "I loved Sean…I certainly did. But was I in love with him?" she asked as her eyes connected with his.

And it's so hard to see you clearly.
You don't have to be on your own…
You don't have to be on your own.

"No…I don't think I was. Sean was an amazing man, there's no doubt about that. But he wasn't the one for me" Marissa said as her eyes seemed to daze off into her own mind, almost as if these words marked a momentous time in her life. But all Ryan could think of what did that mean for them?

Marissa felt his confusion, she didn't know how, but she did. She looked up at him, and while she expected his eyes to be there, they weren't. His eyes were situated on the floor, searching for answers to questions that neither of them could ever obtain. Marissa felt tears come to her eyes, feeling the memories seal her mind. "I blamed myself for months afterward…I thought that maybe there was something I could have done…" she trailed off, wiping the tears from her flawless face.

And I'm not gonna take it back,
And I'm not gonna say I don't mean that…
You're the target that I'm aiming at.

She sat in their bedroom, it was the day after the funeral and their house seemed so different now. It was empty and cold, it hadn't held any of the essences that it had when they had first moved it. She blew her nose once again as more tears sprouted from red and puffy eyes. She heard a knock on the door and tried to smile when she saw her mother's beautiful face peek in through the slightly opened door, a sympathetic smile placed on her face. "Hey honey…" her mother said softly as she sat down next to her, placing her arms around her.

Marissa sat contently in her mom's arms, "I should have done something" she mumbled as her grabbed yet another tissue. Her mom curiously turned to her, "like what? Sweetie, there was nothing any of us could have done…this isn't your fault" she said softly, trying to make Marissa see the truth. "I knew something was wrong mom and I told him to go see a doctor but he didn't and I didn't force him…" Marissa said as she sobbed loudly. "And maybe if he was in there sooner then he could have gotten better…" Marissa trailed off quietly as she saw her mother solemnly shaking her head at her.

And I'm nothing on my own…
Got to get that message home.

"No sweetie, that wouldn't have mattered. His cancer was severe and very aggressive… and with him having a past with it, it was just too much for his body…his body couldn't handle it" her mother said softly as she pulled Marissa closer, letting her drop her head onto her chest and cry. She didn't know how long they stayed like…but it was day she never forgot.

Marissa didn't know how long she had been sobbing for when she came back from her daydreaming, but it was long enough that Ryan had fully gotten up and sat next to her, wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her body into his. "Shhh…its okay Marissa, its okay" he whispered to her as he gently rocked her back and forth, kissing the top of her head sentimentally. He continued to whisper sweet words to her, trying to calm her down, and soon enough Marissa sobs had turned into small sniffles.

And I'm not gonna stand and wait,
Not gonna leave it until it's much too late…
On a platform I'm gonna stand and say:
"That I'm nothing on my own
And I love you, please come home…"

Ryan laid on the couch as she rested her head on his chest, allowing him to run his fingers through her hair. Occasionally he would lean forward and kiss her forehead or the top of her head, and in those moments, Marissa saw the true meaning of being there for someone. "It wasn't your fault Marissa" she heard him say out loud to her and she turned her head to look him in the eyes. "That was something, something completely out of anyone's control" he said quietly. Marissa slowly nodded her head before resting her head back on his chest, "thank you" she said almost inaudibly. But Ryan heard her, he always heard her.

My song is love, is love unknown…
And I've got to get that message home.