A couple weeks had passed since the fateful night where Ryan had learned the dreadful story of Marissa's past. The story of why she moved to Charleston with her friend had been a lie, a lie to cover a part of her life that she didn't like to revisit. But found herself revisiting almost every day. No progress had been made in between Ryan and Marissa; it seemed as if their relationship or their semblance of a relationship had hit a rock that kept them stagnant. Both of them seemed too circumspect to move an inch towards one another, in fear of rejection or dysfunction.
Ryan still brought Skylar every morning for Marissa to do her hair, but as soon as she was done, the conversation seemed to dry up. There was nothing left to discuss and all that was left was a messy situation in dire need of a cleanup. Until one specific morning, things took a drastic turn.
"Why don't you talk to Miss Cooper anymore?" Skylar asked sweetly Ryan as Marissa did Skylar's hair. Marissa and Ryan seemed to freeze, not knowing what would happen next. Skylar sat happily, waiting for an answer from Ryan but didn't seem to be fabricating one anytime soon. Marissa continued to braid Skylar's hair, trying hard not to look up at Ryan.
"Are you mad at Miss Cooper?" Skylar asked, impatiently waiting for an answer. Ryan shook his head, "no…of course not sweetie" Ryan answered. Skylar continued to look at Ryan, her dark brown hair shining in the light of the classroom. "Miss Cooper will you go on a date with my uncle because I heard my grandpa saying to my grandma that he has a hard time talking to the ladies" Skylar said quickly which caused Marissa to start laughing.
"Skylar, what did I say about keeping things like that to yourself?" Ryan asked as he eyed Skylar. Skylar shrugged, "I don't know…I forget Uncle Ryan" she answered honestly and Ryan couldn't help but smirk at the adorable little girl. "Will you Miss Cooper?" Skylar asked just as Marissa was finishing with the French braids. Skylar turned around to face Marissa, who was looking down at her hands. "Skylar, I don't think it would be a good idea if I went with your uncle Ryan." Skylar sat confused, as did Ryan, "why not?" Skylar asked and Ryan felt himself thank her inside his head.
"Well because it might affect you sweetie" Marissa said as she brushed some of the hair that stuck out of Skylar's braid. "No it won't…you could come over and watch my Winnie the Pooh movie with us and then Ryan could make you grilled cheese!" Skylar said excitedly. Marissa felt herself giggle at Skylar's excitement. "Why don't you?" Ryan heard himself ask and Marissa turned her eyes to face his. Marissa and Ryan kept their eyes locked and Marissa felt her head screaming "no" but her mouth wanted to say something entirely different.
"Okay" Marissa heard herself say and Ryan smiled at her and stood up from the table. "Yay! Uncle Ryan, she's going to come over!" Skylar said loudly and Ryan laughed. The bell rung and Skylar went over to her cubbie, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone. Ryan turned back to her, "how does tonight sound?" Ryan asked. Marissa nodded her head, "that's fine…6:30 sound alright?" Marissa asked. "That's great" Ryan said as turned to see Skylar playing with some of the kids that had entered the classroom. "I'll see you tonight" he said before turning and leaving. Marissa watched him closely as he left before turning back to the children and smiling, she watched as they played and then made her way over to the kids to start the day.
Marissa's trepidation of what might happen that night caused her to move slowly, painfully slow. She couldn't handle not knowing what would happen on a night like this. She knocked on the door, hoping that maybe they weren't home or that they had to cancel for an emerge- "Hey…come in" Ryan said as he broke her out of her thoughts, shattering her hopes with a simple open of a door. He smiled sweetly at her and she felt a small smile appear on her face. She stepped into the house, feeling the cool affects of the central air conditioning.
"Skylar made clear instructions for tonight" Ryan said with a small chuckle as he turned around to face her. "We have to watch her movie with her first, and then eat dinner, and then its time for Skylar to go to bed" Ryan said with a smile. Marissa folded her arms across her chest, not wanting to play this little game that no one would ever end up winning. Ryan watched as her amused expression seemed to fade, he didn't know what to say, what could he? He slowly moved his hand to grab hers but she moved, "are we going to talk about what happened?" she asked, clearly irritated. Ryan dejectedly brought his hand back to his side, trying to act as if her action hadn't hurt him.
"What do you mean?" he asked which only seemed to infuriate Marissa even more. "I tell you that I like you, I actually said the words out loud to you and what? You stop talking to me" Marissa said loudly. Ryan moved closer to her, he listened to her angry words and tried to interject but she wouldn't allow him to. "Falling for you was something I never intended to do and it doesn't go away just because I want it to. I don't mean that it's a burden to me but I have to know…I need to know if I'm wasting my time or not" Marissa said, tears breaking all the anger in her strong eyes.
Ryan stood completely speechless, was she wasting her time? Had he fallen for her the way she had fallen for him?
Instead of the anger that Marissa thought she would spark from him, all she got seemed to be gloominess on his part. He stood dejectedly, as if the words had broken him in many ways. He turned and looked up at her slowly, "when I was young, my dad died of lung cancer…I hardly remember any of it but I do remember never seeing him again. It took a long time for my mom to get better and when she did, she started going on dates with men. I was around seven or eight" Ryan said softly before sitting back down. "She didn't want to be alone anymore so she tried to move on. It hurt me for a while because I thought that these guys were trying to take my dad's spot and I didn't want that to happen, neither did Lauren" he said quietly and Marissa stood, completely stunned at his sudden enlightenment of his early childhood.
"But when I was fourteen, she got married and when she left for her honeymoon, she never came back. Lauren had just turned eighteen and had to fight to gain custody of me because I sure as hell didn't want to go anywhere else" he said softly, almost as if his voice couldn't go any higher.
"And I know that these are completely different situations…but when I'm with you, its almost like I'm back in my eight year old body, watching my mom go out with guys that I didn't like nor recognize. I feel like I'm taking a woman away from her husband, which is the same way I felt when I was young" he said strongly. "Yes, I have fallen for you…in a way that I never thought I would for any woman but that doesn't mean I won't feel like a hypocrite…at least for a little while" he finished.
Marissa felt tears drip down her face, not knowing how to stop them; she merely just turned around, trying to hide her display of vehement emotion. "Why do you think she left?" she asked, barely audible through her soft tears. She turned back to face Ryan who was calm, more calm than she had expected him to be. "My mom wasn't a strong person and when my dad died, it broke her…for good" he said as she moved to sit next to him. "I can sit every day and think that maybe I was the reason but it didn't matter. I could have been the best son in the world and she wouldn't have stayed" he said before turning to face her.
"My mom wasn't strong enough and what she did, it was the best thing she ever could have done for me" Ryan said. Marissa moved her mouth to speak but nothing seemed to emerge. "No, I haven't turned out perfect and I know that the person I used to be before I moved here wasn't a good person whatsoever but Skylar has changed me and given me the best wake up call I could ever want" he said before grabbing her hand in his once again, but this time, she did not let go of his warm and soft grasp of her digits, an action that seemed to give him more satisfaction than expected.
"You were a wake up call for me" he said before pulling her hand up to his mouth so he could lightly kiss the back of her hand. A simple action by him that sent warmth throughout her entire body, an action that brought a small smile to her face. "So no, it is not a waste of your time but I do think that it will take some time for you and I to be where I want us to be" he said, not noticing Skylar step into the hallway. "Uncle Ryan, Miss Cooper, come on, I want to watch Winnie the Pooh!" she said loudly with a strong motion of placing her hands on her hips. Marissa and Ryan smiled and stood up, keeping their hands locked together as they walked slowly into the living room to watch the movie with Skylar.
The night seemed to move slowly as they ate dinner together, enjoying their time together as a trio. They talked and had a few laughs but before they knew it, it was Skylar's bed time. Ryan made sure she brushed her teeth and brushed her hair before getting into her pajamas and getting into bed but Marissa was on duty for before bed activities. Ryan sat downstairs on the couch, waiting patiently for Marissa to finish up with Skylar so they could possibly finish their conversation.
"Can you sing me a song?" Skylar asked sweetly with a smile and Marissa nodded her head, "okay…you don't mind if I sing a song that a friend of mine used to sing to me, do you?" Marissa asked and Skylar nodded sleepily. Marissa cleared her throat with a couch and took a sip of the water next to her. "Wait Miss Cooper, what friend sang it?" Skylar asked, she surely was smart for a five year old, Marissa could easily say that. "My friend Sean…he used to sing this song to me when I was sad because that's what his mom sang to him when he was a baby" Marissa said with a smile and Skylar just merely nodded and laid her head back down.
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You never know dear, how much I love you. So please don't take my sunshine away. The other night dear, while I was sleeping, I dreamt I held you in my arms. But when I woke dear, I was mistaken, so I hung my head and cried."
Marissa softly finished and as a tear fell down her cheek, Skylar's eyes closed and she drifted off into slumber. Marissa put the blankets over her and kissed her forehead before turning on her nightlight, turning off the lights and leaving her bedroom.
Marissa trailed down the stairs, wondering what she would say to him now that it was just them alone. She walked into the kitchen where he sat, drinking a beer at the table. Marissa sighed and took a seat next to him, "do you want something to drink?" he asked quietly and she moved her hand to grab his beer and took a sip, causing a bright smile to become apparent across his face. She placed his beer back down and leaned back against her seat.
"So what are we gonna do?" he asked as he turned to her, she turned to him and smiled softly, "I'm not sure" she said. Ryan grabbed her hand in his and laced their fingers together, a sweet gesture that made her see every reason for why she had fallen for this man. "Maybe we should try the whole dating thing?" he asked tentatively, merely surprising her. "You want to?" she asked, clearly buried in mirth in that moment. She waited for an answer but was pleased even more when he leaned forward and kissed her on the lips, a quick kiss it was. The kiss was softer than anything, kind of like a habit.
He pulled away and rested his forehead on hers, "yes…I really do" he stated as he leaned in and kissed her again. Marissa wrapped her arms around his neck, slightly holding the blonde hair on the back of his head. Their tongues mingled passionately in hopes of showing their true feelings for each other. Soon enough, Ryan's black t-shirt had been thrown to the ground as Marissa ran her hands over his rugged and muscled chest. Ryan kissed down Marissa's neck, allowing the stubble on his face to rub against her neck, only adding more fervor to their moment. He returned back up to her lips, running his hands underneath her blouse and over her soft back. Ryan reached down to lift the silk blouse off but her hands abruptly stopped him and she pulled back.
"I should go" she said, breathing heavily. Ryan smirked and leaned in to kiss down her neck, eliciting a soft moan from her lips. "Stay the night" he mumbled against her neck as his hands worked their way up her blouse once again but she pulled back with a smile on her face. "We're taking this slowly…remember?" she said smartly and he sighed and looked down, "I want this" she said gesturing to the two of them, "to move at a good pace" she said as she leaned her face down close to his, brushing her nose against his, drawing out a smile on his lips. "And as much as I'd like to stay the night with you, I just can't" she finished.
Ryan nodded and stood up, grabbing his shirt from the floor and putting it back on. He wrapped his arms around her waist as she started to walk by him, bringing his face close to hers. "Will you go on a date with me tomorrow night?" he asked as he moved closer to her, feeling as is she some kind of drug that left him wanting more and more. She smiled, "okay…dinner and a movie?" she asked as she brushed her lips over his, "that sounds perfect" he mumbled as he kissed her once again, allowing his desires for her to overcome all his senses.
She pulled back with a giggle and moved toward the front door, opening it and stepping outside with him in tow. He grabbed her hand in his and they proceeded down to her car that was parked in the front of the house. She got into her and buckled herself in before turning on and car and opening the window. He leaned in and kissed her once again, "I'll come pick you at eight?" he asked and she nodded, she kissed him once more and put the car into drive. "Good night" she said with a smile, "good night Marissa" he said. She pulled away from the house and up the street as Ryan stood watching her from afar. He smiled as he ran his fingers over his lips, feeling a tingle run through them. With a bright smile on his face, his made his way up the stairs and into the house, feeling the tension of his heart lessen.
You never know dear how much I love you...so please don't take my sunshine away.