Okay everyone, I just wanted to announce that after this post, there will only be 2 or 3 more posts of this story. I know that is very short notice but I've recently decided to end this story short. Enjoy!
Winter came in full mode, bringing cold air and snowy days along with it. The city of Charleston sat in the grasps of a peaceful white blanket. The holidays had already passed, bringing them into the pure winter season. Ryan, being accustomed to New York City weather, found it quite refreshing to see some semblance between the winters of New York City and Charleston, even if Charleston had a warmer climate in the winter than New York did.
Ryan sat in his office, looking over documents on his computer, when he heard a knock on the door. He looked up to see Marissa, leaning against the door, contently watching him. "Hey" he said with a smile as she came over to him, sitting in his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and allowing him to wrap his arms around her waist. "How's work?" she asked, glancing at the mass amount of papers on his desk and the many documents on his computer screen.
Ryan sighed, "busy" he said simply and Marissa leaned in and kissed his neck lightly. "Well I ordered some Chinese and its on the way, Skylar is getting ready to eat…so I'll just leave you alone until it comes" she said and started to stand up and was surprised when he pulled her back down onto his lap. "Stay…keep me company" he said with a grin and she smiled back at him when he leaned in to softly kiss her lips. Marissa leaned her forehead against his, marveling at how wonderful their relationship had been going since it started a couple months before that. She had been spending so much time at Ryan's that she was barely at her own house any more.
She and Skylar got along fantastically, she couldn't ask for it to be any better. Skylar would stay late after school and play with some toys while Marissa cleaned up the room, then as soon as Marissa was done, Marissa would take Skylar back to Ryan's house and watch her while Ryan worked in his office. Marissa would end up staying the night and going home in the morning before work to change then come back and pick up Skylar to go to school. As much as it scared her sometimes, it was almost as if they were a family…and Marissa liked it.
Marissa was brought out of her thoughts when she felt Ryan nuzzle his head in the crook of her neck, tickling her skin with his short hair. Marissa giggled and stood up, grabbing Ryan's hand in hers, "come on, let's go wait for the food" she said and pulled him up out of his seat and out of his office. She felt Ryan's strong arms wrap around her waist, "I wanted to ask you something" Ryan murmured in her ear and she turned around to face him.
"We're opening a new restaurant in upstate New York and they need me to go for a few days" Ryan said as he ran a hand through his hair. "Do you want me to watch Skylar?" Marissa asked curiously. "I wasn't sure if you'd want to…she's just really comfortable with you and I would invite you, but I'll hardly be able to see you" Ryan explained and Marissa put a finger on his lips, hushing him. "It's fine…I'll watch Skylar. When do you leave?" Marissa asked, "Wednesday and I come back Sunday." Five days, Marissa thought to herself, that's definitely a lot of work, but she knew she could handle it. "Okay…that's fine" she said with a smile and Ryan leaned in and kissed her, "thank you" he said simply and she returned his smile.
That Wednesday, Ryan left Charleston for New York, hoping that everything would be okay back in Charleston. He knew that Marissa and Skylar got along and that Marissa was amazing at taking care of her, but five days might be a little more difficult. But somewhere in his brain, he knew that they'd be fine, they would be perfectly okay without him.
Marissa went through the first three nights with no problems whatsoever, considering she knew the entire bedtime routine. Of course it was hard for her when she would go to sleep; she was used to having someone sleeping next to her, holding her. She knew the amazing sex was a major plus, but just the fact that there was someone else made her comfortable, it was a comfort she had greatly missed. On Saturday, the day before Ryan returned, they played together outside in the snow, throwing snowballs, making snow angels, and snowmen. They played until their noses could be confused with Rudolph's. They sat in front of the television with their hot chocolate and comfy clothes on, watching Disney channel together. Skylar watched in total infatuation, while Marissa sat completely uninterested, waiting for Ryan to call the house.
She practically jumped off the couch when the phone rang and ran to the kitchen to answer the phone. "Hello?" she said, "hey babe" she heard him say and she smiled instantly. "How's your trip?" she asked as she crossed her arms across her chest and looked out into the living room, seeing Skylar still infatuated with the Disney channel movie. "Boring…as usual…I wish you were with me" Ryan said and Marissa grinned helplessly.
"Me too" she said quietly. She glanced at Skylar once again, noticing that she was starting to fall asleep, and turned back to the kitchen, "how's everything going back there?" Ryan asked as she heard him moving in his hotel room. "It's going very well. We're just watching High School Musical…but I think my partner in crime is falling asleep on me" Marissa said dramatically and Ryan laughed. "Ahh…I've seen my fair share of that movie. I can honestly say if I never watched it again, it'd be way too soon" Ryan said with a chuckle and Marissa giggled.
"We played outside in the snow for a while today and now is our relaxing time…it's been fun" Marissa said. "That's great" Ryan responded immediately, feeling a reassuring smile grow on his face. "But I have something to admit" Marissa whispered into the phone and Ryan laid back onto his bed, "what?" he whispered back with a grin. He pulled the comforter over his boxer clad body and relaxed, "I miss you" she stated quietly and he felt a wide grin come across his face.
"Well can I admit something too?" he asked quietly. "Yep" she answered back as she poured herself more hot chocolate, "I miss you too" he said and Marissa giggled. "Well you come back tomorrow…so we'll see each other soon" she replied and took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Yes we will…I better get to bed though, I still have some stuff to do in the morning…but I'll see you tomorrow" he said. "Of course" she replied, "good night" he said, "night Ryan" she said and hung up the phone. She grabbed her mug and made her way back to the living room where Skylar was dozing off, she sat down gently on the couch.
She slightly jumped when she heard Skylar's little voice, "Miss Cooper…can I ask you a question?" Skylar asked and Marissa nodded with a smile. "Of course you can sweetie" Marissa answered and took a sip of her hot chocolate. "Why do you teach little kids like me?" she asked curiously and Marissa placed down her hot chocolate on the coffee table, before muting the movie.
"Hmmm...That's a good question" Marissa said and laughed slightly before turning back to Skylar. "I teach little kids like you so I don't get wrapped up in being an adult. So sometimes I can realize that paying the bills on time isn't the most important thing, riding a bike is more important…or playing in the snow. I teach so I can meet the people who will someday change this world for the better…and I teach so I can meet spectacular children, just like you" Marissa answered softly, with a small smile. Skylar looked back at the television, watching the children sing and dance.
"But I'm not spectalar" Skylar said, completely mispronouncing the word. "I can't do what those kids can do" Skylar said, gesturing to the television. Marissa looked at the television for a moment before she knew exactly what to say. "You know, sometimes I used to think exactly like you and my friend Sean would know exactly what to say. He'd tell me these lines from a movie that I used to watch all the time and for some reason, it always made me feel better and I think that you certainly qualify to hear it" Marissa said quietly.
"Skylar…among all other normal stars, you're a shooting star. Have you ever seen a shooting star?" she asked, seeing Skylar shake her head no. "Well it's beautiful…and so wonderful, it comes quickly but when its there, it lights up the entire sky. It's so amazing that all the other stars just stop and watch. And just like a shooting star, you'll never be ordinary…you'll always be spectacular" Marissa said with tears in her eyes, knowing it was finally time to pass that statement along.
She felt Skylar's small arms wrap around her neck and hug her and Marissa hugged her back. Marissa felt tears come down her cheek, realizing that the last time she'd heard those words, they'd come from his mouth. They sat like for a few minutes and the next time Marissa looked down at Skylar, she was asleep. Marissa picked her up and brought her quietly up to her bedroom and placed her gently on the bed. She covered her with the blanket and turned on her Winnie the Pooh night light. She sat in the rocking chair next to her bed and watched her sleep, feeling more tears come down her cheeks.
She got up and left the room quietly, closing the door behind her and making her way down the stairs to the living room where she cleaned up the mess that they'd made together. She placed the dishes into the sink and rinsed them out before placing them into the dishwasher, then put the remaining pieces of pizza in the fridge. She slowly walked to the front door, seeing the new fallen snow sitting quietly on the city. She grabbed her jacket and pulled it on, stepping her sock covered feet on the porch. She sat down on the bench on the porch, and looked at the silent street, wondering how snow had the same silencing effect every single time.
She looked up at the sky; looking at the stars and feeling all the tears come back to her eyes. She wiped her eyes quickly, sniffling in the cold weather. She looked up at the sky once again and in the silence of that very moment, when the snow was still as statues, a shooting star went across the sky, lighting up entire sky for her blue eyes to watch. "Thank you so much Sean…thank you so much" she murmured quietly to herself before softly crying in her hands, knowing that all the things she loved about Sean, all the things he said or did, were just memories and she'd never get to see him do something…or speak beautiful words to her ever again.
The next day, Marissa moved slowly around the house, still feeling sluggish after the night before. Skylar, completely oblivious to Marissa, was jumping around ecstatically because her Uncle Ryan was coming home that night. Skylar excitedly played around in her bath, allowing Marissa to wash her hair. Marissa listened with interest to her stories about how whenever Uncle Ryan gives her a bath; she has to wear her bathing suit, something that made Marissa laugh hysterically.
That night, Marissa laid on the couch, reading her book as she waited for Ryan to get home. Unfortunately for Skylar, after all the jumping around and excitement that day, she had exhausted herself and fell asleep long before Ryan was supposed to get home.
Twilight fades, through blistered avalon…
She still felt the sadness flowing through her veins from the night before. She didn't know why but she just couldn't get it out of her mind, she had moved on from Sean's death a long time ago, but now it seemed as if the wounds had reappeared, bringing back the old pain she felt. But as sad as she was, she still felt the excitement of seeing Ryan again, the amazing Ryan that she spent most of her time with, the Ryan that stayed in her mind when he wasn't around, her Ryan.
Marissa put down her book when she heard a key unlocking the front door and got off the couch. Marissa leaned up against the living room doorway and watched as Ryan put down his bags and kicked off his shoes. His hair, jacket and luggage was adorn in small snow flakes from outside and Marissa felt a smile come onto her face. "Hey stranger" she said with a smile and he turned around to face her. Ryan smiled immediately as soon as he turned and saw her, they came towards each other and Marissa jumped happily into his open arms.
The skys cruel torch on arching autobahn…
Ryan held her close to his body, smelling her freshly washed hair and body, feeling at home once again. "I missed you" he said quietly as the pulled back, still holding onto each other, Marissa smiled and kissed him, "I missed you too" she said against his smiling lips. Marissa squealed in delight when she felt Ryan lift her up in his arms, and she wrapped her legs around his waist. Ryan slowly placed her down on the kitchen counter, standing in between her legs. Marissa just wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his face closer to hers. Ryan rubbed up and down her sides, "I brought presents" Ryan said with a smile and Marissa's eyes lit up, "you got me a present?" Marissa asked with a large grin and Ryan laughed, "yep…one for you and one for Skylar" he answered.
Ryan pulled out a jewelry box from his jacket pocket and handed it to Marissa. Marissa smiled in excitement and opened the box quickly, seeing a beautiful necklace inside. It was a simple necklace with a diamond tear drop on the end. "Ryan…it's beautiful" she said quietly as she slowly took it out of the box and fastened it around her neck. "You really like it?" Ryan asked as she ran her fingers over it as it lay against the skin of her chest, "I love it" she replied and leaned in and kissed him passionately, thanking him. "Thank you" she said as they pulled away.
You make me real…you make me real.
Marissa looked down at their entwined hands, smiling. And for a moment, she saw Sean's face come through her mind and she was brought into yet another daydream. Marissa stared out the window to the snow covered trees in the backyard and all she saw was his face, his smiling face. "Marissa, baby, you okay?" she heard and was snapped out of her daydream, she turned back to Ryan's face and nodded vaguely. Ryan rested his hand on her cheek, "are you sure?" he asked, clearly concerned and she jumped off the counter. "Yeah…I'm fine" she said once again, trying to get off this topic. But Ryan didn't believe that she was okay.
"You don't seem fine" Ryan said and Marissa turned back to him, suddenly very irritated. "Well I am, so just stop it!" she said loudly and left the kitchen, shocking Ryan. Ryan walked after her, finding himself in his bedroom. "Why are you mad at me?" Ryan asked harshly, feeling the anger come over him. But Marissa didn't answer him, just continued to change her clothes and even in the anger of the moment, Ryan couldn't help but watch as she changed, her body always did that to him. "Did something happen?" Ryan asked and Marissa turned around to face him, and Ryan was shocked to see the anger gone from her eyes to be replaced by tears.
Strong as I feel, you make me real…
"Last night, Skylar asked me these questions and I answered them the best I could. But she was saying how she can't do anything special like sing or dance like the kids on High School Musical" Marissa said quickly, in between gasps of air. Ryan moved over to her quickly and placed his hands on her waist, "Marissa…just slow down and breath" Ryan said as she continued to cry. "And I told her something…I told her something that Sean always used to say to me" Marissa said as she held back a sob, "and it hurt so bad afterwards because I finally realized all the things I loved about him, like the things he said to me or things he did for me…I'd never get to see or hear again" Marissa said as she moved from his grasp to stand near the door of the bedroom.
"I just feel so guilty and I just feel like…" Marissa trailed off, trying to regain some composure. "Feel like what?" Ryan asked softly as he moved closer towards her, hoping she wouldn't move again. Marissa looked up at him, "I feel like he's mad at me" Marissa said quietly as she wiped the tears from her cheeks. "Why would he be mad at you?" Ryan asked, suddenly confused. "Because Ryan, I'm in love with you, the way I should have been in love with him" Marissa said loudly as she stared at his face. Things froze in the bedroom and all that could be heard was their breathing, Ryan stared at her face, watching as the tears continued to drip down her cheeks.
A summer storm graces all of me…
Highway warm sing silent poetry.
Marissa looked down at her hands, feeling stupid for what she had just said. She glanced up at him, seeing him still surprised for what she had just said. "I'm going to go" she said quietly as she turned and started to leave the bedroom, "wait" she heard him say and she turned around to face him. Ryan walked over to her slowly, making her more nervous as he came closer. Ryan brought his hand up to her cheek and he slowly moved his hand to the back of her neck, he moved his lips closer to hers. Their lips were so close; he could practically feel her lips on his, his brushed his nose against her and stared into her eyes.
"I love you too" he said wholeheartedly as his lips covered hers, conveying all he felt for her. They pulled back, gasping for air and Marissa her face in his neck, remembering every single reason for why she was in love with him. "What makes you happy?" Ryan asked and Marissa looked up at him, "you…and Skylar" she replied with a small smile gracing her lips. Ryan smiled slightly and picked Marissa up the way he had earlier and she giggled quietly, "I think the only thing Sean ever wanted was for you to be happy…and I think that because if I were him, I'd only want you to be happy" Ryan said quietly.
I could bring you the light,
And take you home into the night…
Ryan brought her over to his bed and placed her down. He looked down at her watched as she grabbed the hem of his shirt, bringing it up with her finger tips as she stood up. She took off his polo shirt and threw it to the side of the ground. Marissa leaned in and kissed his lips softly, "Wait…" he said and pulled back. "Are you sure you want to do this, after everything?" Ryan asked. Marissa nodded her head, "yes" she murmured as she kissed his lips, breaking Ryan from his shell as he kissed her back passionately, needing to feel the body of the woman he loved more than anything.
Later on, Ryan laid on the pillows, feeling the physical exhaustion creep onto his body. He smiled tiredly as he felt Marissa's lips trail softly over his bare chest. She kissed up his chest to his neck, smiling as she felt his fingers move up her soft legs. Marissa smiled down at him and as he tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. "Thank you" she whispered to him in the quiet of the bedroom, "for everything" she added. She laid her head on his chest, allowing her tired body to rest. And right as she was about to fall into a deep sleep, she heard him quietly speak, "anything for you."
Strong as I feel, you make me real.