Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.

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I'll Turn To You Now
A CCS Fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Five: The Emotions That Wash Over The Past

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Eriol Hiiragizawa was a handsome, blue-haired doctor with glasses that seemed to illuminate the emotions that appeared on his face. He was a doctor at Tomoeda General Hospital. He also happened to be Syaoran's life-long friend; even though they were miles apart their whole lives.

Today the expression on his face was very grim. Yesterday afternoon he had two patients come in, an auburn-haired woman and a young girl, her daughter. One of their fates was uncertain and quite concerning. Eriol Hiiragizawa had a reputation for being one of the best doctors in Tomoeda General Hospital, and one of the kindest. So it was no wonder he was worried for two of his sickest patients.

Eriol glanced at his clipboard as he sat on a couch in the ISU (Intensive Care Unit) and sighed. A young woman and her daughter had been admitted just yesterday. They were both unconscious when they were admitted and haven't waken up.

He glanced at the young purple-haired woman who sat on a couch near the room of the young woman. He glanced back down at his clipboard. The young woman's (Sakura's) name was… what was it again? Sakura… Sakura Kinomoto. Eriol's mouth dropped wide open. Kinomoto… this name was familiar. And Eriol knew exactly why it was familiar. He gulped and stood up. As he walked up to the purple-haired woman, he pushed his glasses up his nose even though they weren't slipping down.

Tomoyo eagerly stood up as Eriol approached her. He shook her hand. "I'm Dr. Eriol Hiiragizawa," he said, noticing her pretty purple hair and amethyst eyes. Except her amethyst eyes were watering with fresh tears and her pretty hair was messy and unkempt. It looked like she hadn't had a very good sleep, or perhaps didn't sleep at all.

"And you are a… friend of Ms. Kinomoto, correct?" he continued gently as Tomoyo anxiously smoothed out her skirt.

"Relative," Tomoyo corrected. "I'm her cousin, Tomoyo Daidouji." She looked away when her amethyst eyes met Eriol's blue ones.

Eriol cleared his throat. "I have some news… would you like to hear it? Or would you like to wait for Ms. Kinomoto's brother and…" Eriol glanced at his papers again, "her father?"

Tomoyo paused, and then said to Eriol quietly, as if she was tired and fragile, "You can tell me the news now. Sakura's father told me on the phone that he wouldn't arrive for another two hours or so. He was on a business trip. And her brother and his family live all the way in Tokyo, but they're trying to get here as fast as they can."

Eriol nodded solemnly. He glanced once again at his papers (sigh). "Well, Ms. Daidouji… Ms. Kinomoto is recovering slowly, but surely. She had two broken ribs, and a fractured arm. We expect her to wake up any moment now…"

Tomoyo nodded. "Dr. Sasaki told me." Dr. Sasaki was the other doctor monitoring Sakura and Meiko. She and Eriol had different shifts.

Eriol cleared his throat again. "And Meiko…" Eriol sighed and shook his head. "Meiko's future is… uncertain. But we ran some tests after seeing rather large bruises on her body… and the results are not good. Meiko has leukemia."

Tomoyo's face crumpled up and she began to sob huge tears that fell onto her skirt. Eriol looked at her, a helpless expression on his face. At last, he sighed, reached over to Tomoyo and hugged her, something that surprised Tomoyo.

Tomoyo continued to sob uncontrollably, not wanting to let go of Eriol as she hugged him tightly. Eriol closed his eyes, slowly becoming uncomfortable.

"Um… um… Ms… Ms. Daidouji? I have patients to get to," Eriol said timidly amid the purple-haired woman's loud sobs.

"I-I'm sorry…" Tomoyo said between sobs. She reached into her purse and pulled out a couple of tissues and slowly dried her eyes, still sobbing. "Dr. Hiiragizawa... Meiko's condition is through genetics, right? Because her grandmother had cancer…"

Eriol solemnly looked down at his hands. "I'm very sorry to hear that. I suspected it was through genetics…"

Tomoyo just began blurting things out, not caring that her emotions caused her to say things that she didn't even notice she was saying. "I'm such a bad aunt, such a bad aunt…"

"Well, no, Ms. Daidouji," Eriol began. "DON'T CALL ME MS. DAIDOUJI! WHAT AM I, OLD OR SOMETHING? IT'S TOMOYO, YOU HEAR? CALL ME TOMOYO!" Tomoyo practically screamed at him, sniffling. She threw her tissue at the shocked doctor.

"Oh, oh no… oh my, I'm so, so sorry," Tomoyo's eyes grew wide and she immediately apologized. "It's just that it's so unexpected…"

Eriol nodded. "It's quite alright…" he straightened his glasses.

After moments of awkward silence, those involving Tomoyo to burst into fresh tears, Eriol finally spoke. "Tomoyo… I have to leave. But I have one last question: who is Meiko's father and where is he?"

Tomoyo was surprised at Eriol's question. No one had asked her about Syaoran for 10 years… she wasn't ready to reveal the dark part about her best friend's life.

"The father…" Tomoyo's voice was raspy. "Left Sakura when Sakura was three months pregnant. He never knew about the child… his name was…" Tomoyo's words caught in her throat. "Syaoran Li."

'Syaoran Li.' The name echoed in Eriol Hiiragizawa head. So his suspicions had been confirmed. Eriol shook his head… Syaoran had a child. Oh no…

Syaoran moved to Hong Kong when he was eighteen, and was reunited with his good friend Eriol Hiiragizawa. Syaoran was, during the first few months in Hong Kong, cold, and barely talked to anyone except Eriol, unless he was addressed.

Syaoran never told anyone this, but he was heartbroken over leaving the possible love of his life, Sakura Kinomoto. He kept his feelings hidden inside. To some people, he was the same old cold-hearted Syaoran Li. To others, he was the different, in some way, scornful sad Syaoran Li. He was even slightly mean to his favourite cousin, Meiling Li. That was another sign of something wrong. He had always been kind to Meiling and treated her like a sister.

Eriol glanced at his clipboard again and back at Tomoyo. "Syaoran Li was the one who hit Sakura and Meiko."

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Tomoyo eyes immediately flashed with rage. "What's that bastard doing in Tomoeda? He should be banished to hell with all that he put Sakura through!"

Eriol said uncomfortably, "Calm down, Tomoyo. Once everyone involved with this situation is aware and knowledgeable of everything, you'll be able to say what you want to say."

Tomoyo sighed and bit her lip. "This is just so heartbreaking and heart wrenching."

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Eriol left a very anxious Tomoyo to go check on Syaoran's progress. He peeked into the door to find Syaoran asleep.

Eriol stood in the room and chuckled, writing things on his clipboard. "I know you're frickin there, Eriol Hiiragizawa," a voice growled. It was Syaoran. His fiery amber eyes were open now, and he was glaring at Eriol.

"Do you know what fucking hell I went through to find this hospital? Your stupid instructions were damn messed up," Syaoran growled. "Now look at the mess I've gotten into."

Eriol merely laughed. "Don't worry, Syaoran, you'll be out of the hospital tomorrow. You're not messed up. The only thing that really messes up you is your legal troubles."

Syaoran glared at Eriol. "What the hell are you talking about?'

Eriol laughed again, amused. "Don't you remember the two people you hit? They're going to be suing the pants off you."

Syaoran put a hand to his head and remembered the emerald eyes he had looked into before. His head ached. "Are they okay?" he said slowly.

Eriol face turned solemn as he shook his head. "I don't know, Syaoran. But the best thing you could do is talk to them and work things out. Well, at least talk to the older woman."

Syaoran looked down at his hands. He felt low, even though he didn't show it. He felt lower than low, he felt like scum. He had hit two people, and most likely their lives were in danger. And all because of a stupid cell phone. Why the hell did it have to be like this?

"Who are the people I hit?" Syaoran said slowly.

Eriol shook his head. "You want to know?"

"Yes."

But the truth was, he already knew who one of the people were. The mesmerizing emerald eyes were like no one else's and he'd recognized it immediately. It was the woman he left with the burden of not saying goodbye. The woman he loved for so long. The woman who caused his family to leave, the woman who caused his to hate his family. The woman who he just might still be in love with.

Eriol didn't have to say it. He already knew.

The woman was Sakura Kinomoto.

-

Syaoran got released the next day, with the orders not to leave town. Great. He had to stay in the town that had brought him so many good memories, and a couple of painful ones, too. Syaoran decided to visit Eriol Hiiragizawa again (that was the whole point of him coming to Tomoeda in the first place), and to secretly know the condition that Sakura was in. He still didn't know what relations she had to the little girl.

Syaoran walked into the hospital, hoping not to be seen. A secretary greeted him. "Hello, Mr. Li. What brings you back here?"

Syaoran shrugged and said, "I have to talk to Dr. Hiiragizawa."

The secretary nodded. "He's on his lunch break, so I'm sure he can talk to you."

Syaoran found Eriol walking mindlessly around the hospital, turkey sub and coke in hand. "Syaoran?" Eriol said as he saw Syaoran walking towards him.

"No dummy, the frickin ghost from Christmas Past," Syaoran said sarcastically. "Can we talk?"

"I dunno? I can talk, but I'm not sure if you can talk the same language as me," Eriol said goofily.

"Cut with the crap," Syaoran growled. He sat on a waiting couch and Eriol sat next to him.

"Listen, can you tell me what room Sakura Kinomoto is in?" Syaoran said, almost not wanting to say it.

Eriol gave him a Look. "Sakura Kinomoto? Syaoran, I'm no sure if that's…."

Syaoran interrupted him. "Look, I just need to see her. We have some… things…. to sort out."

Eriol paused. He then sighed. "She's unconscious."

Syaoran nodded and stood up, then paused as Eriol said, "don't be burdened with the past."

Syaoran blinked. What the hell did that mean?

-

Syaoran carefully stepped into Sakura's room. Sakura was breathing steadily, her eyes closed, her auburn hair a mess. Syaoran gave her a small smile. That was a rare smile. Syaoran had found nothing to smile about for the past ten years.

He sat down on a chair next to Sakura's chair. He took in all of her, her messy hair, her soft skin.

He looked down at his hands. Then he took a deep breath and said, "I'm sorry, Sakura. I'm sorry for leaving you." He paused again.

The he softly said, "I'm not going to leave. I'm not going to make that mistake again."

Syaoran didn't want to admit it, but he knew that he was still in love with her.

"You're still as beautiful as ever, Ying Fa."

-

Syaoran left the room quickly and sat on a couch in the waiting room. He put his head in his hands. "What the hell did I get myself into," he muttered.

Just then, Tomoyo Daidouji came into the room. Her eyes grew wide, and with a little gasp, she dropped the cup of coffee she had bought in the hospital cafeteria.

"You," she said in a threatening tone, "what are YOU doing here?"

Syaoran said nothing. He looked at his hands. "I'm trying to take care of the crap I got myself into," he muttered at her. "Is it a crime to be at the hospital?"

"Of course not," Tomoyo said coolly. "But it is a crime if you're trying to see a patient you don't have the authority to see."

"Tomoyo, I—" Syaoran began, but Tomoyo burst into rage.

"Why do you just waltz into here like everything is alright? Do you know how much pain you made Sakura go through? She had just gotten her life together and now you have to come back and mess it all up? Don't hurt her, Syaoran! Don't you dare hurt her again!" Tomoyo cried.

Syaoran stood up, full of his own rage. "She's not the only frickin person who has feelings! Thanks to her, I am actually aware of my feelings, before, I was unfeeling, and then she made me feel! I thank her for that, really, but do you know how painful it was to leave her? Do you think I actually want to hurt her? Why do you think I was her boyfriend for two years? Is that all you think boyfriends want to do— break their girlfriend's heart? Well you got that all wrong, Tomoyo Daidouji!"

Tomoyo snarled in disgust. "I don't think you have a good reason to break Sakura's heart, Syaoran Li."

"I did," Syaoran said in a low, threatening voice. "Do you know why I left? Because it was my "rightful duty to become Li Clan Leader". But hell, that all went down the drain! I left for nothing! I broke her heart for nothing! So that just makes me a bastard, right?"

"Li Clan Leader?" Tomoyo repeated.

"Yes. Ever since I was born, I was the next person to become the Li Clan Leader. My parents had this all planned out, but when I fell in love with Sakura… (he said it painfully) everything having to do with the Li Clan spiraled out of control. My parents didn't think Sakura was frickin good enough to be with me! They made me feel guilty, and now I really hate them for it. I chose them over Sakura, and it didn't even work out," Syaoran said furiously.

"Wh—" Tomoyo was interrupted by a nurse yelling, "Get Dr. Hiiragizawa here pronto! Ms. Kinomoto has just woken up!"

Tomoyo's eyes grew wide as she glanced at Syaoran, and then ran to Sakura's room. Syaoran followed closely behind her.

They swept breathlessly into Sakura's room. There was Sakura, her emerald eyes confused and curious. She glanced at Tomoyo, then at Syaoran. Then her eyes grew wide as she whispered, "It's you. Xiao Lang, why did you come here?"

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Chapter Cleaned As of June 11th, 2006.

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