Sorry for the late update. I have just released a new mini fic, titled Kismet. Please check it out. It would make me very happy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura. CLAMP has the right to say that they do. But I do not.

Dedication: A special, special thanks to Aisaki Sumi, YamaPi-Love, Starjade, and the other special authors (My Favourite Authors List) who have given me such great inspiration and written stories very close to my heart. I cannot thank you enough, and dedicate this and the next chapter to you guys! Thanks!

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I'll Turn To You Now
A CCS Fanfic by Starfire Star

Chapter Six: Glimpse of Reason Part I

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Sakura blinked, sure that she was dreaming. She's had dreams involving Syaoran, but never like this. What did a hospital have to do with Syaoran?

Had she become one of those people who are aware they're dreaming and could control their movements in the dream? To test that theory, she moved her arm, wincing at the slight pain from the stiffness that came in return. She glanced at her arm, and her mouth made a perfect o-shape. Tubes were stuck in her arms, and a monitor was beeping beside her.

Disgusted, Sakura turned away and closed her eyes. She opened them again, quickly like a heartbeat, and her wary emerald eyes grew wide. If she was in pain, she couldn't be dreaming.

She glanced at the two people at the doorway. Tomoyo and Syaoran. Tomoyo she could understand… but where did Syaoran come from?

Suddenly she was frightened. She bit her lip forcefully. Her breath quickened, shaky like she couldn't breathe. Tears erupted from her eyes, though no sound escaped her lips. Quiet, wet tears fell from her face onto her hospital gown. She wiped them with the back of her hand and fell back onto her pillow. She turned to the side, not wanting anyone to see her.

Voices started calling out her name, but she tried to block them out and think about what she just saw. She was delirious. These were emotions she hadn't felt for years… why was she hurt? Why was she in the hospital?

These questions caused everything to erupt and come back to her. She remembered everything that had happened before. A car came hurtling towards her and Meiko and…

Meiko!

Where was Meiko? What happened to her? Suddenly fearing the worst, the bottled up sound of her tears escaped her lips, as she wept, sad moans filling the hospital room. It was all her fault. She shouldn't have walked. She should have taken the car. All her stupid little beliefs of pollution were beliefs that her daughter couldn't comprehend, and look where it got them. Hurt and dead.

"Sakura-chan!" She heard the voice of Tomoyo. "Sakura, I've been so worried!" Sakura saw Tomoyo's purple hair swift by as she came to my side. Sakura didn't feel like looking at her, so she closed her eyes. She just wanted to be alone.

No other movement was in the room, and that was just fine with Sakura. That meant Syaoran wasn't taking a step anywhere. She would prefer for Syaoran to leave, but if he wasn't showing his face to her, she was fine with that. Sakura knew that seeing Syaoran's presence would bring back many painful memories.

Sakura turned around, not wanting Tomoyo to stare at her face anxiously and longer. Her auburn hair fell in her face, but she didn't bother to move it. She knew it was a pathetic attempt to pretend to be asleep.

"Sakura." Just then she heard it. The voice that she didn't want to hear, but knew that she would hear. Syaoran Li's voice. From her faint but painful memories she didn't want to remember but remembered anyway, she compared the voices.

This Syaoran, the one in the present, 10 years from when she last saw him and heard his voice, had a more mature voice. How could his voice not mature? He was twenty-eight now, not eighteen.

His voice had the same rich tone that she had fallen in love with ten years before. His voice was firm, reassuring, but questioning. Sakura wanted to block it out. The memories that were jolting inside her were painful. Anything of Syaoran's that Sakura could sense was painful.

Sakura was now aware that Syaoran was coming closer. His shoes made taps on the hard linoleum of the hospital floor. She could feel the swift air move the lightest of her bed sheets.

Sakura was going to burst now. Her heart began thumping wildly, her breath quickened, and suddenly she couldn't take it anymore.

She abruptly sat up in bed, almost letting the tubs on and in her arms break off, her tears falling freely now. "What are you doing here," Sakura whispered in a cold, tearful voice.

Syaoran stared, his mouth slowly parting, but aware of what he was doing, quickly shut him mouth. After a few silent moments, Syaoran simply said, "I ask myself the same question."

Sakura's lip trembled. "Why are you back, Syaoran? Why did you come back?" Syaoran's face pained at the look on her face.

Sakura began to get dizzy. She felt like she couldn't breath; her heart was pounding in her ears. Her eyelids fluttered, not knowing whether to shut them or keep them open.

Tomoyo's eyes grew wide at Sakura's strange actions. She couldn't breathe as the monitor by Sakura's bed started beeping frantically.

Sakura could barely hear what they were saying. The voices grew fuzzy, the words could no longer be distinguished.

Tomoyo panicked. She immediately pressed the Nurse Call button behind Sakura's bed. "Someone, help!" Tomoyo shouted.

Syaoran's knees felt like jelly. He put a hand to his forehead, closing his eyes, wishing he were anywhere but here. He should have known this was coming. Sakura wasn't the type of person to completely heal her scars. Sure, she would get over them, but they still wouldn't completely heal. They were waiting there, deep in her soul, for someone to expose those wounds, letting all pain unfold.

Immediately a nurse ran into the room. "Ms. Kinomoto!" Then she hastily yelled, "DR. HIIRAGIZAWA!"

Eriol immediately dashed into the room. "Excuse me, but I would prefer if you two would wait outside," he told Tomoyo and Syaoran as the nurses examined Sakura and the monitor.

Tomoyo stomped out of the room, eyes filled with tears. "You dirty bastard!" she said shrilly, pointing a finger at Syaoran. "Why did you see her? She's not well yet, she can't handle all this pressure! Thanks a lot, Syaoran Li. Thank you for making Sakura's condition more serious."

"How could you say that," Syaoran said tiredly, "you don't even know if I've made her worse!" Syaoran knew that was a weak comeback. Obviously if the monitor went ballistic when she saw him, then something serious happened.

Tomoyo snorted. "I think your pathetic pea-sized brain was affected the day you hit Sakura and Meiko!" She wiped the tears with the back of her hand.

"Daidouji, I'm not going to bother to fight you," Syaoran said, flopping onto an armchair and covering his face with his hands. "We're adults. Don't forget that. Let's just discuss this calmly and rationally."

Tomoyo glared at him and turned away. "No, thank you."

There was silence until Eriol Hiiragizawa emerged from the room, eyes glued to the clipboard.

Tomoyo immediately rushed up to him, and grabbed his coat. "Tell me she's okay!"

"She's fine," Eriol nodded in agreement. "She had a very small panic attack. It's under control, and she's conscious, but I prefer if she didn't see any visitors right now."

Tomoyo jabbed a manicured finger in Syaoran's direction. "It's all his fault."

Suddenly a nurse rushed out of Sakura's room, looking annoyed and worried. "Ms. Kinomoto wants to see Ms. Daidouji and Mr. Li?"

Eriol immediately opened his mouth in protest. "I don—"

The nurse gave me a glare. "She threw one of her gift stuffed animals at me. She threw a rather violent fit when I said no visitors were allowed."

"It must be the drugs," Eriol said thoughtfully. Tomoyo glared at him. "Can we see her?"

Eriol looked at her. "Then I'll have to supervise."

Tomoyo barged into the room. Sakura bit her lip at Tomoyo's appearance. "Sorry for making you feel worried," she said quietly.

"It's alright! I'm just glad you're not dead," Tomoyo shook her head, forcing a smile on her face.

Syaoran was at the doorway, his back facing the side. Even though he weakly defended himself after the ballistic beeping of Sakura's monitor, he felt that he probably shouldn't go in. His eyes traced the tiles of the ground, and even though he wasn't looking, in his ears echoed Sakura's voice as she spoke to Tomoyo. Her voice wasn't like back then, where her voice was innocent and gentle. Her voice now sounded strained and stressed, and not as gentle as the summer breeze.

Sakura's eyes trailed to Syaoran. She bit her lip as her eyes traced every aspect of his perfect body. She thought he was hot before, but now, he was absolutely breathtaking.

Sakura blushed at her own thoughts. How dare she think that? Don't forget, this was the man who brought her so much pleasure and pain years before, and even now. Wait… this would be a good time to let it all out, right? Why not? She wasn't going anywhere.

Tomoyo stopped her worried, seemingly happy chatter as Sakura's eyes grew serious. "Syaoran."

Syaoran looked up. Yes, his name was spoken by Sakura. What was she going to say?

"J-just answer this one question for me," Sakura said, her voice shaking now. She couldn't back out now. She couldn't run away. No, she was going to get this over with.

"W-what was your reason for leaving me?"

Syaoran's eyes grew wide as he unfolded his crossed arms and turned to face her. "The Li Clan." The words that escaped his lips were said without any emotion.

"The… Li Clan?" Sakura asked, her voice barely a whisper.

Syaoran nodded. "I was to start my training as Li Clan leader when I was eighteen. My parents cold-heartedly convinced me it was my rightful duty, and I owned to my family, China, and the Clan."

"S-so… I was of no importance in your decision?" Sakura dared to ask, willing to go farther for the truth.

"Of course you were!" Syaoran said fiercely, his amber eyes full of hurt at the thought of his memories. He stepped forward now. "Don't think that you weren't important Sakura! You were the only thing I could think of while I made my decision. It was hard, and I was stupid! I was stupid now that I made the wrong decision! I thought it was the best thing to do. But hell, I was wrong." Syaoran let out a rueful laugh. "That all went down the drain."

Sakura, unwilling to keep it in any longer, sat up and said, "Why, Syaoran, why did you not say goodbye to me properly?" Sakura's eyes flooded with tears. "Why did you have to do it through Tomoyo?"

"Saying goodbyes like that would be too painful," Syaoran looked away. "For both you and me."

"If the Li Clan was so important, then why are you here?" Sakura practically shouted, shaking her head, the tears flowing freely now.

"It's a long story," Syaoran said, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Sakura shot back.

"Fine. The truth is, when I went to Hong Kong, the Elders were prepared to check out my records and documents and everything in order to begin my training," Syaoran said this in a barely audible voice. "That's when everything changed."

"The Elders went as far as to check out legal things and criminal records for both me and my father. That's when my mom and the Elders found out my dad had an affair," Syaoran looked up from the linoleum. He walked to a chair next to Sakura's bed and sat down.

"The Elders did a little more searching… and found something out that even my father didn't know. My father had a son," Syaoran's eyes flashed with anger and coldness.

"This son of his was older than me. He was born around a year after my sister Sheifa was born. So I ended up having gone to Hong Kong for nothing, because the Li Clan Leader title was taken away from me, seeing as there was an older male heir than me."

Sakura looked down, gripping the bed sheets around her.

"My mother couldn't take it. She immediately filed for divorce. My dad was only too happy to divorce her. Their marriage was becoming rocky, and my mom accused my dad of being a workaholic, being out too much, and not spending enough time with his family. My parents said a lot of hurtful things to each other during their marriage.

And then, after the divorce, when we thought we had all the pain we could take, my father married the woman he had an affair with, and the Li Clan's fate was sealed. So this completely new family replaced my family and had the life we were supposed to have.

And," Syaoran said, his voice hoarse and cold. "The funny thing is, after he signed the papers, he packed his bags and left. He didn't say goodbye to his own family. Not to me, nor any of my sisters. Ultimately, the house he left was taken away from us, anyway. Since it was Li Clan property, and we were no longer allowed to live in it."

"S-Syaoran… I'm so sorry," Sakura whispered, her face filled with remorse, forgetting all the hatred and dislike towards him for coming back.

"No, I'm sorry Sakura. I'm sorry I left you because I thought I had made the right decision. I was wrong all this time," Syaoran said, head down, staring at the ground.

There was tense silence, Tomoyo nervously shuffling her feet, Eriol readjusting his glasses over and over again.

"I'm sorry I hit you. Go ahead and sue me," Syaoran said, still not looking at anyone.

Sakura gained her senses. She was conscious of everything that had happened now. Still, what he did was unforgivable. This was a chance to speak it.

"Don't say sorry to me," Sakura said fiercefully, biting her lip. "You should say sorry to our daughter."

Eriol and Tomoyo glanced at each other and looked back at Sakura. Syaoran looked up, his amber eyes wide. "What?"

Sakura nodded, her eyes filling with tears. "Her real name is Meiko Kinomoto Li. She's ten years old. She's our daughter. And you hit her with your car."

Sakura felt dizzy after she said it. Oh no, she thought to herself. I'm going to faint. Please, don't let me have another panic attack!

But before she knew it, Syaoran had slumped into his chair and blacked out. He beat her to it.

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Is this a crappy chapter? Kind of. I kind of rushed the ending for it, because I've been working on this chapter for a long time and wanted to hurry up so I could post something for you guys. Thanks for all your support.

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