Chapter 3: The Surprise
The new smashers were expected to arrive at 3:00 P.M. It was 2:50. Every Smasher in the Smash Residence (except for Mario, Fox, and Falco, who were hiding in the closets) were awaiting them to enter the Grand Hall.
"I can't believe Wario is coming!" Bowser said, with glee. "It's about time!" Bowser then leaned against the wall with Gannondorf and Jigglypuff, the two most feared smashers there.
"Hey, green mustache guy!" Gannondorf shouted across the Grand Hall. "Where's your moron brother?" This caused Jigglypuff to laugh harshly, puffing out the smoke from her cigarette.
"Mario's in the closet," Luigi answered, scratching his head.
"What does him being gay have to do with any of this?!" Bowser yelled.
"No, I mean-a... he's actually in the... oh, never mind-a," Luigi replied, shaking his head.
Master Hand flew to his stage. Nobody paid attention. "Ahem," Master Hand ahemed, angrily. Everyone else was still caught up in conversations with each other. "AHEM?!" Master Hand shouted. Everyone stared at him with annoyed expressions on their faces.
"Guess who arrived?" he asked, as loudly and annoyingly as possible. And with that, Wario, ROB, and Wolf jumped out from behind the stage's curtains. There was a long moment of silence, and then people resumed to their conversations. Bowser, on the other hand, was clapping with glee, but stopped after everyone began to stare at him. He awkwardly shifted against the wall he was leaning on, coughing into his hand nervously.
"Anyone else going to applause or anything?" Master Hand asked.
"Falcon DECLINE!" Captain Falcon replied, flexing.
"Whatever. If this batch doesn't liven things up, I've brought in a few unexpected guests as well!" People finally began to pay attention to him.
"Come on out, boys!" And with that, a tall mercenary and a blue hedgehog popped out.
"OMIGAWD! IT'S SNAKE AND SONIC!" Marth said, clapping uncontrollably and giggling like a girl.
"Sonic's the name, speed's my game!" Sonic shouted to the crowd. The crowd replied with boos. Someone threw a plate at him. Sonic ran away crying (at a fast speed, mind you).
"Say, where'd Snake go?" Popo asked, before quickly getting picked up from behind and getting his neck broken. The smashers roared with applause.
"Aw, shucks," Snake said, dropping Popo to the ground. He began to blush fiercely.
Master Hand sighed and carried Popo's trophy to his office. Nana, who was crying like a baby, followed Master Hand.
Wario jumped off the stage, and landed on the ground just a few feet below it. He ran up to Bowser and hugged his old friend. "It's-a been a while!" Wario greeted.
"Tell me about it!" Bowser said, hugging him back.
"Where's-a Mario?" Wario asked, in a disgusted tone.
"He's in the closet," Bowser replied.
"What does-a being gay have-a to do with it?" Wario asked. Bowser laughed.
"I know, right?" Bowser replied.
ROB just stood there, on the stage. It was obvious that nobody wanted him to be there. He shed a tear... which caused him to short-circuit. He fell over dead, and turned into a trophy.
Wolf was scanning the crowd for Fox, and maybe his annoying smart-ass friend Falco, and sighed out of relief once he realized they weren't in the crowd. He kicked ROB's trophy out of the way and leaped down the platform, heading to the bathroom.
Luigi walked into Mario's quarters. "You can't hide forever, Mario. Get out of there!" Luigi shouted.
"Get out of where?" Mario asked, nervously.
"Get out of the closet!" Luigi shouted, angrily.
"What does me being gay have to do with anything?!" Mario shot back.
Luigi let out an annoyed grunt and left Mario's quarters, slamming the door on his way out.
--
I didn't get much done here. I'll probably bring in the rest of the roster with the next installment...
Sorry for the lame reoccurring joke... and for the fact that this chapter was pretty damn short...