I shouldn't have told him. I wish I hadn't told him. I watch him as he sleeps. He looks worried even in sleep. As if he can't escape this even in his dreams. How could I have told him, when I'm not even sure that it's his. He moans slightly, turning over, and I want nothing more than to join him. For Nathan to pull me into his arms and tell me how much he loves me. That it'll all be ok and we'll make this work. We won't end up fighting all the time. We won't end up as a couple that hates each other but tries to stay together for the child. We won't be Karen and Dan version two. Hey... I flinch as I realise he's awake, propped up on his elbows. I'm suddenly shy, which is ridiculous. want to ask him to make this all ok. I need him to reassure me but he's just a boy and I'm just a girl and we're not ready for any of this. He pulls the covers back in invitation. As I crawl into bed with him, he pulls me into his side. I start to cry as he softly tells me it'll all be ok, over and over. I don't believe him.

School has never looked less inviting. Nathan sits with me in my car as I stare at the entrance. He takes my hand and squeezes it gently, smiling at me. It's now or... now, Peyt. I'm glad he didn't say 'never' because I may have taken him up on that. What do you need an education for anyway, I doubt I'll be able to go to collage, seeing as I'm now plus one. I'd rather go home and pull the covers over my head while pretending that the big bad world isn't out there. For a couple of hours anyway. As Nathan opens his door, I see her. Brooke. She doesn't look happy. The only good thing I can see is that she appears to be without Lucas. I watch as she marches over to my car looking furious. I'm tempted to lock the door just in case but before I can she wrenches it open.

Peyton Elizabeth Sawyer! Her cry echoes around the mostly empty car park. She glares at me, her arms crossed in front of her chest. I falter for a moment. How am I supposed to explain? Nathan takes this as his cue to shuffle out of the car, throwing me a glance that I'm sure was supposed to be reassuring but somehow isn't and then he strides off towards the entrance. Leaving me. With Brooke. Brooke... I'm pregnant. This isn't getting any easier. I watch as her face falls, she's stunned. I get out of the car slowly. We're facing each other and she still hasn't said anything. Oh, P. Sawyer. I'm in her arms and she's gripping me tightly. I'm crying and she's rocking me. I could have picked a better place to have this discussion than the entrance to school but somehow I can't seem to care that there are people watching me have an emotional breakdown.

We miss school that day. I sent Nathan a message letting him know I was going to Brooke's and he shouldn't worry. We're sitting on her bed, watching Gone with the Wind and it's comfortable. Like every other day we're cut school to just hang out together. Except this time what I'm dealing with can't be helped with a film and a bag of popcorn. She's watching me out of the corner of her eye, her hands fidgeting on her lap. What? She jumps slightly as I speak and unconvincingly plasters a bright smile on her face. Nothing, she says, still smiling. I study her for a moment wondering whether I should push the issue but before I can say anything else she startles me by jumping off the couch and whirling to face me, hands on hips. Whose is it? I play dumb for a moment, watching as she starts to get a little bit flustered with me just staring at her. Davis was always good with the dramatics when they got an instant reaction, leave her for more than a minute without saying anything and she starts to crack. I don't know. She looks at me as if I'm crazy. What.. She stops and looks around the room angrily, How can you not know?

I want to tell her to mind her own business, that she has no right to ask me that, but of course she does. She's my best friend. Lucas Scott's girlfriend. She's bound to be worried and before I can stop it I let out a sob. Instantly she's pulled me into her arms. I push my face into her neck as I try to control the urge to let out all the tears that have been building today. She tightens her arms around me and I'm reminded of Nathan rocking me as he whispered that everything was going to be ok. If only I could believe him. P. Sawyer, she says softly, how can you not know? I wish I was 11 years old again and this was nothing more that Brooke consoling me when Jimmy didn't want to go out with me. I wish I was still that innocent but I know I can't live in the past and she deserves an answer. I was protected with both, her arms tighten further and she begins to rock me slowly, I'm in such a mess Brooke. I've told Nathan.. I've.. I try to stop crying, sniffling against her shoulder. Nathan thinks it's his and what if it isn't? I pause. What if this is mine and Lucas's baby? I feel her tense slightly at the mention of her boyfriend.

I pull myself out of her arms and look her in the eye. I'm sorry, I say and I am sorry. I'm sorry that Brooke has been dragged into this ridiculous situation, I'm sorry that I was stupid enough to sleep with two brothers. I'm sorry that I ever even looked at Lucas or Nathan Scott. I look at the floor, almost too ashamed to meet her eye. Peyton... it'll all be ok she says, rubbing my arm. Suddenly I'm angry. How does she know? I'm tempted to say something rash, something that'll hurt her, something that'll stop her pitying me but I can't. She's my best friend and I know that she only wants to help me. What are you going to do? She says hesitantly, as if afraid of upsetting me more. She wipes away the tears from my cheeks softly. I wish I knew.