Don't Stop

For the NYPD precinct at which Matt worked, it was business as usual. It was after noon and three quarters of the office was either off to lunch or on a call. The ocean of desks that filled the detective floor was mostly empty. On the phone, Matt performed a telephone interview as he flipped through folders. Shifting from one file to another, he finally gave his trademark ending. "Thank you for taking the time to speak with me and if you remember anything else, please give me a call."

Hanging up the phone, he scribbled down the times in his call log. In the middle of his work, he felt someone standing beside him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the reception desk officer. "What is it, Kara?"

"Someone came by looking for you, Detective Parkman." Holding up a piece of paper, she read, "His name is Mohinder Suresh."

Standing up, Matt asked, "How long ago?"

"He showed up just after you got on the phone – so, maybe fifteen minutes ago."

Pulling on his coat, Matt inquired, "Is he still here?"

Nodding, she gestured toward the front lobby. "Yeah. He's been waiting patiently in the reception area."

Taking the message slip from her, he walked around her. "Thanks, Kara," he said just before yelling at a detective two desks away, "I'm leaving for lunch."

Out in the lobby, he saw Mohinder seated by the window. Walking over to him, he watched how Mohinder's chin rested on his fingers, how his eyes stared unseeing at the street outside. With a couple taps on the shoulder, Matt said, "I heard you wanted to see me."

With a jerk, he looked up. Composing himself, he stood up. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his suit, he gestured with a tilt of the head and a raised hand for Matt to follow. Walking outside, he waited until several blocks separated them from the precinct before he said, "Matthew, we need to talk."

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Matt nodded, "Yeah, I know."

Staring at the sidewalk before him, Mohinder whispered, "I don't know what happened last night, but it can't happen again."

"So what? We go back to the song and dance we had before."

"Matthew…"

Coming to a stop, Matt grabbed Mohinder's arm.

"Say it again."

"What?"

"Say my name," he clarified as he tightened his grip on Mohinder's arm. "Until I met you I hadn't gone by Matthew since I was nine years old. I even made my Mother call me Matt. I usually hate the sound of it, but not when you say it. So, say it again."

Meeting Matt's gaze, Mohinder's eyes softened as he complied, "Matthew. Be reasonable."

Shaking his head, Matt let his hand fall away. "I'm tired of being reasonable."

"I think-"

"Y'know what? You think too much," stated Matt as he stepped closer to Mohinder. "This isn't something you think about. It's something your gut tells you and my gut is telling me to give it a try. I don't care if we have to go slow. I don't care if we have to take the tiniest of baby steps so long as they point forward. So long as we don't stop. So long as we don't go back to the way it was before. So tell me, Mohinder, what does your gut have to say about all of this?"

After the question was asked, Mohinder closed his eyes. Turning away, he opened his eyes again, but refused to look at Matt. His face was drawn and sported a severe frown. As he lowered his head, he crossed his arms. He took a couple tentative steps before he stopped and softly said, "My gut says don't stop."

A wide smile spread across Matt's face. "We'll go slow, Mohinder. We'll just see what happens."

Finally meeting Matt's eyes, Mohinder asked, "Then what? What if this tears our family apart?"

"It won't."

"How can you be so sure?"

Looking deep into Mohinder's eyes, Matt answered, "Because I know our family can be made stronger by this."

Later that night, Matt held a book open. Concentrating, he tried to read the words correctly as he gave Molly the practice world history quiz from page two-thirty-five. Taking a breath in between each question, he tried to go over the next question a few times in his mind before he actually said it out loud. Over fifty questions, he fumbled more than once, but he corrected himself quickly and continued.

Once Molly was done, he served her a simple dinner of roasted turkey sandwiches and Tater Tots. As they ate, he graded the quiz. Pen in hand, he balanced taking bites from his sandwich as he placed checkmarks next to the correct answers. Sighing, he took a long enough break to stuff some Tater Tots in his mouth. Glancing at the clock, he thought, 'He's late even for him.'

Once they were finished with dinner, Matt spent half an hour going over Molly's few wrong answers. While discussing World War II, Molly looked at the clock and frowned. Matt saw her sad expression and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Looking up at Matt, she asked, "Why is he so late?"

Hunching his shoulders, Matt answered, "I don't know, honey. Maybe, he had more to do at work today because of the day he took off yesterday. I'm sure he'll be home soon, but you'll just need to wait until tomorrow to see him because you need to go to sleep now."

She managed a pout. It broke his heart that she couldn't even work up an 'Ahh, man' as she trudged off to her bedroom. With a loud sigh, he stood up and closed her school books, gathering them together. Slowly, he pulled out her backpack and arranged the contents so it would be easiest on her back. Zipping the bag closed, he placed it on one of the kitchen chairs. Looking at her bedroom doors, he watched as her light turned off.

With a deep frown, he went to the sofa and turned on the TV. He was twenty minutes into a classic episode of Three's Company on TVLand before he heard the sound of the front door opening. He didn't bother to turn around. He listened as Mohinder put his briefcase down by the door. He felt the man draw closer as he heard, 'I hope she's asleep already?'

"Yes, she's asleep already. She's been asleep for about half an hour."

"Reading my mind again, Matthew?" asked Mohinder as he sat down on the sofa beside Matt.

"No, it just slipped in this time."

Matt's eyes narrowed as he looked at Mohinder.

"You asked me not to and I'm a man of my word."

Biting his lip, Mohinder sat quietly for a moment. Meeting Matt's intense gaze, he said, "I'm sorry. I'd like to say it was work, but we both know that's not true."

"Is this how it's gonna be?"

Breaking away from Matt's gaze, Mohinder looked down. Reaching out, he sighed loudly as he held Matt's hand. Slowly, he turned to face Matt. With a tug, he pulled Matt forward and kissed him. Once the kiss ended, Mohinder waited for Matt to open his eyes before he whispered, "Matthew, I'd like to say this is simple for me, but it's not. In India, relationships such as this are extremely frowned upon. In fact, they are against the law. Those who pursue them have to be very discreet and live in fear of arrest their entire lives."

"We don't live in India."

"I know," Mohinder admitted as he touched his index finger to Matt's lips. "But, a part of me always will. I hoped once the adoption was final, we could take Molly to see my Mother. I don't know if that's still possible with our current situation."

"Of course, it is," argued Matt as he squeezed Mohinder's hand.

"Is it?"

Turning in his seat as well, Matt faced him. Cupping Mohinder's cheek with his left hand, Matt said, "Do you think you're the only one who has thought about all this? I'm different enough already. I didn't need this, too. I'm Jewish and 'it is written' – It is not okay to be like this."

"I'm a cop. I work cases involving gay bashing. I've seen what can happen. I hear fag jokes and snide comments being thrown around the precinct all the time. Some were even thrown right at me after the Christmas party. I am perfectly clear on what can happen and all I can say is I don't care. The world will go on spinning. It's not going to end because of us."

Leaning forward, he seized the opportunity and kissed Mohinder hard. His fingers wove into a head full of thick curls, holding Mohinder close. He gave an experimental lick as he felt Mohinder's left hand slide up his chest, coming to rest on his shoulder. He pushed further with his tongue until he heard a low moan escape Mohinder's throat. Up on his knees in a flash, he pushed Mohinder back against the sofa cushions, pulling and nudging until they were horizontal.

That's when the slack hand on his shoulder turned rigid. Soon, the hand he grasped curled into a fist. Pulling back, Matt asked, "Too much?"

With a shove, Mohinder pushed Matt back. Sitting upright, Mohinder replied, "Yes. Too much."

Fixing his rumpled shirt, Mohinder asked, "Have you ever done this before?"

"No."

"You could have fooled me."

Taking Mohinder's hand, Matt frowned at the flinch he felt run through it. "Mohinder, you're a man of thought and words. I, on the other hand, am a man of action. You consider all the possible consequences before you do anything and I act first and worry about the consequences later. We are very different people, yet we have managed to raise that little girl in there for nearly a year now. Somehow, it works. I don't know how, but it does."

"It's true," agreed Mohinder. "We are a modern marvel. We should be completely incompatible, but we manage. Perhaps, it is this - this simple affection we hold for one another - it smoothes over the rough edges."

Squeezing Matt's hand, Mohinder stared at the entwined fingers as he said, "I need some rules to be enforced."

Meeting Mohinder's eyes, Matt nodded.

"First, I don't want Molly to know yet. I don't know when she should be told, but until we decide the time is right, I don't want her to know."

"Okay. I can do that. What else?"

"I don't want this to go public until after the adoption is final. I don't think we need the complication."

"I can do that, too.