Authors note: Hey! Sorry for the slight update-delay. Thanks so much for the reviews so far. It's great to hear that you like the story. The OTH-show is making me really depressed though and i'm totally agreeing with younikki Ditto; Go TEAM BROOKE! ;)

Here's chapter 4 for you guys. R&R Please.

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CHAPTER 4 – The pros and cons of breathing

"Life is strange right now" Brooke thinks with eyes still closed, "kind of like life in a fishbowl".
The last weeks she's been swimming around all disoriented while people have been looking in through the glass. And those people all seemed to have a better clue as to what she was doing than herself.

Her head hurts. Not the usual pounding of the day after, but a migraine-like pain making it hard for her to focus or even think. Her mouth is dry like the desert and her tongue glues to the roof of her mouth. Every little sound is too loud in her ears. She slowly opens her eyes, covering them with her hand and still the morning light makes her wince with pain.

Rachel's bed on the other side of the room is empty and it's still made. Either she'd gone off sleeping somewhere else or she just hadn't slept at all. Turning towards her nightstand to see what time it is Brooke lays eyes at the person sleeping in the chair by her bed, and it all comes back to her.

Nathan had saved her last night. From herself.

How she'd ever gotten that drunk is beyond her. Yes, she had meant to become wasted, but to become so drunk that she couldn't take care of her self had not been the purpose of drinking last night.
She remembers bits and pieces of the evening. Remembers having fun with Mouth, Rachel, Nathan… But the memories that are most vivid are the ones from her talk with Lucas.

After that everything had gone overboard. The pain of feeling, the dozens of tequila-shots, loosing the drinking game to that guy Mark and then volunteeringly going for that swim fully clothed... Mark had been there when she got back up, and soaked and freezing it had seemed like a good idea when he kissed her. On second thought, she had just let him kiss her without thinking at all. That was until she found herself standing by the bench next to the rosebushes, just where she and Lucas had been sitting a while earlier, but now this guy that she didn't really know had his hand up inside her top and it all just seemed wrong…

And then there's the memory of Nathan holding her for what seemed like hours, while she cried.

He must have brought her up here but she can't remember that. She thinks as hard as her headache lets her, forehead in deep creases, but after Nathan hugging her there by the rosebushes her memory of last night is blank.

She turns and watches him and then Nathan slowly opens his eyes, blinking towards the sunlight. He looks at her and smiles kind of big-brotherly.

"Morning… Are you okay?"

Nodding, she breathes out. And she's back inside her fishbowl.

It's a beautiful Saturday. The blue skies are free of clouds and it's less humid than it's been the last couple of days. Seagulls are flying over the sandy beaches probably feeling the churn of hunger as it closes to lunch time. Nathan slows down his jog and turns to run backwards, watching the girl running behind him in green sweats.

"Brooke Davis! Come on or I'll come back there and get you! And believe me, you don't want that!"

She picks up the pace until she's running beside him again. She pouts, looking like she's feeling really sorry for her self, but at least she has gotten the color back on her cheeks and she hasn't given up yet.

"I know your dad says that you should work-out when you're hung over" she huffs, "but news-flash; Your dad is an asshole! And I'm just a girl…"

He has to laugh out loud. No one pouts as good as Brooke. She does that thing with her lower lip, pushing it out so that she looks like she's five years old. But he keeps running thinking that whatever she says the exercise is good for her. This way she doesn't have to think about last night and he gets a little more time to figure out how he's going to close in on the subject 'Lucas' without making her cry again.

"Hey stop whining. I gave you two Tylenol's didn't I? And I told you to drink that raw egg yolk, which would have definitely cured you…"

She makes a face as if she wants to through up but he continues.

"…Besides, aren't you supposed to be that toned cheerleading captain I've heard of? I remember you saying that you were in better shape than me not so long ago… When was it? The Classics?"

"Oh, just shut up Nate!"

He smiles and they run quietly for a while. He makes a left before Burnette Drive so that they wont have to run past Lucas' house and he can see her eyes looking in that direction but she doesn't question him. It's just a couple of blocks left to his and Haley's apartment and his wife has breakfast waiting for them.

"It's going to be good for Brooke to talk to Haley" he thinks. "Haley will know what to say…"

Lucas pulls a sweater over his head before drying his blond hair with a towel. He needs to get out of the house a couple of hours before afternoon practice and he's thinking of going to see Nathan and Haley. He hadn't left things on a good note with his brother last night and now he's anxious to talk to him. He needs to know how Brooke is.

He has called Brooke four times already this morning but her cell phone is turned off.
What Nathan had said last night still made him feel confused. Brooke had told him when they talked in the garden that she didn't want anything to do with him. He told her that he missed her and that he wanted them to try again but she had just seemed cold and angry. Yet Nathan told him just a few hours later that she was heartbroken and that it was his fault. How come?

He thinks about last night's party while grabbing his favorite worn jeans and pulling them on. It had mostly turned out the way he thought. Brooke had mingled, being the perfect party-queen that she was, and after their talk he had watched her get drunker and drunker until he finally saw her sitting in Gabe's lap. And that had been his cue to leave the party.
But then he got caught up in the kitchen talking to Peyton about her brother and he never got to it. He wanted to say goodbye to Brooke before leaving but when he couldn't find her he just figured that she'd gone with Gabe. Well. At least until he met Nate.

For a moment there by the rosebushes he had thought things were going to change. Brooke's voice had been soft, hopeful. But something must have changed her mind;

"I really loved you" she says. "Maybe I will always love you. But you keep prioritizing everybody else before us… You say you miss me, but you miss my body Lucas. You miss the sexy Brooke Davis that takes you out on late night adventures and that can give you a great lay. You don't miss ME."

She had seemed completely serious, but how could she not know how he felt? And how would it be possible for him not to miss Brooke? He's been thinking about her everyday since she broke up with him. Her laugh, her smile, her heart.

Honestly, of course he missed her body. Who wouldn't? And he missed touching her and kissing her. But this was because he loved her. She made it sound like he was just using her for sex.
Before Brooke there hadn't been so many girls and she had of course made an impression. But not the way she thought. Her spontaneity and her complete love of life had been what had attracted him to her in the first place, not her reputation as sex-goddess. He had been too infatuated by Peyton at the time to notice it but Brooke just kept growing on him, until one day when he was just so in love with her that he could hardly breathe.

Stepping into his sneakers he takes one last glance at the phone, telepathically trying to make her call him, but it stays silent and he walks out the door.

Brooke slows down the run gradually until she reaches the steps of the apartment building and she bends over with hands on her knees trying to regain her normal breathing. Nathan is standing up over by the door and he's laughing at her.

"See Davis, I told you that you could do it! But hey, you look a little tired…"

She's too out of breath to snap back but she shoots him an angry look. Although she's not really angry with him. How ever painful it had been running, the physical workout had been exactly what she needed. To clear her head and to regain control over herself.

She wipes the sweat of her forehead with the back of her hand and follows Nathan inside. He walks straight up to Haley who's standing by the kitchen counter with her back towards them.

"Hey baby…" he says reaching out for something on the table when Haley's voice echoes in the room;

"Step away from the food Nathan Daniel Scott! First shower, then breakfast!"

He mutters something but the smile is evident in his eyes. And kissing Haley as he passes he walks into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Brooke smiles at the scene. Nathan and Haley kind of always made sense. An epic romance. Not at all like the one-sided lovestory she herself is living.

She sits down on one of the high bar-chairs and Haley sits down across from her looking at her worryingly.

"Tigger, are you okay? Nathan called me last night…"

She can feel herself blush. Of course Nathan had called Haley… He wouldn't have stayed out all night without letting his wife know where he was. And of course he had told Haley what shape she had been in.

"I'm hung-over… But I'll be alright. I just got drunk and emotional last night, it was no big deal…"

"Don't lie Brooke. It's me, remember? You used to tell me stuff, you know. And I know you're still hurting over Lucas."

"It's okay. I'll be fine, I promise."

She's not fine. She hasn't been fine in weeks. But it's too hard to talk about, and Haley is to close to Lucas to ever understand. To her Lucas is this great guy who could never do anything wrong and Brooke is starting to disagree. She used to think that to, that he was the love of her life and that he was the one who would keep her safe. But the way he constantly keeps coming back to her for sex but never for love has painfully shown her that she's been wrong.

Haley looks at her and it's obvious that she doesn't believe her for a second. Even so Brooke holds her breath and pushes back the tears that threaten to fall. And then once again she fakes a smile.

Nathan dries himself off after a long shower and slips into shorts and a t-shirt. Stepping out into the kitchen he finds the girls talking about some movie that's just premiered and they are both smiling. But the air in the room is a little tense and the smiles are a little too big to seem genuine. They both look up towards him and he slumps down on the chair next to Brooke's.

"That was a great shower!" he says breaking the silence that has formed. "Brooke, do you want to get cleaned up before eating? I bet Haley has some clothes that you can change into."

Brooke gets up. "I think I'll do that. I'll just grab something in your closet, okay Tudor-girl?"

As she passes him on her way to the bathroom Brooke touches his shoulder. She doesn't say anything but the simple touch and the look she's giving him says enough. Thank you's have never been an easy thing coming between the both of them. He smiles and looks back at her with eyes saying 'No problem'. Then he hears the sound of the bathroom door closing and he turns to his wife.

"Brooke's a mess…"

Haley comes over and hugs him. "Yeah. She tries very hard not to show it though… But I'm glad you were with her last night. What happened? She doesn't want to tell me."

He can see that Haley is a little hurt over this and he doesn't want her to be. But she has just known Brooke for a little over a year. And even though they gotten really close the last six months she doesn't know that much about Brooke's past.

"Haley, just give her some time" he says and kisses his wife's forehead trying to make her worries go away. "I know Brooke happily shares every little gory detail with you about her shopping-spree's and her lovelife… but she's never given out emotional info easy. That's just the way she works. She always has."

"But she talks to you. Her heart is braking over Lucas and all of a sudden she confides in you… Why?"

He sighs. "We used to be really good friends when we were younger… I don't know, I guess last night I just happened to be there and she had to turn to me."

There's a knock on the door and he raises an eyebrow towards Haley but she just shrugs. So he walks over and opens it, seeing his brother on the doorstep.

"Oh, it's you…" he says and the tone of his voice makes it evident that his not happy.

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Nathans comment throws Lucas off a bit. He and his brother have had some differences in the past but the last year and a half they've built up a real brotherly bond. Nathans voice this morning reminds him more of how they used to be to each other when they were enemies. And Nathan doesn't step aside or hold up the door. Actually he doesn't seem to want to let him in all.

"What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to come by and see you and Hales. It's been a while since I visited. Is it a bad time?"

Lucas can hear Haley calling 'Hi Luke' from inside but Nathan has the same look on his face as he'd had last night. Obviously his still angry, Lucas thinks. So he decides to be blunt. "What's your problem Nathan?! What are you so tweaked about?"

Sighing, his brother says; "Look, maybe you're a little slow but I told you last night. I don't want you hurting Brooke anymore than you've already have. Just go home. I'll talk to you later."

His younger brother keeps looking over his shoulder back into the living room and he suddenly realizes.

"Why? Is she here?"

He tries to look past Nathan into the apartment but Nathan steps out on the doorstep and closes the door behind him.

"She's here but you're not going to see her. Why don't you just stick with Peyton? You seem to get along fine with her. Leave Brooke alone and let her move on man! You seriously don't deserve her."

Confused he wants to defend him self but he can't find the words to do it. He doesn't even understand why Nathan is flipping out. His brother and Brooke are not even that close and he hasn't seen him defend her like this before. Truthfully, Nathan and Brooke usually just bickered.

"Since when is the relationship between me and any girl your business?" He's starting to feel angry. Nathan can at least tell him what the hell he had done to piss him off. "You've never cared about Brooke before. Why start now?"

"I've known Brooke for a long time Lucas. Long before you got your ass off the River court and became one of the 'popular kids' so don't try and tell me if I care about her or how much. And I've been thinking… Both she and Peyton were fine before you came along. They were like Siamese twins for over ten years for god's sake, and they took care of each other! Then you started toying with both their hearts and now they're not even talking. I just can't figure out why the both of them haven't just told you to fuck off!" Nathan laughs coldly. "Ha! But then again, they did, didn't they? Last spring. You moved to Charlotte and they found their way back to each other. Until you came back and pulled that 'I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis-crap'…"

Lucas just stands there with his mouth open for a couple of seconds. "Nathan, come on! I never meant to hurt any of them!"

And it's the truth. He has never done anything to purposely hurt either Peyton or Brooke. Especially Brooke. And it's not just his fault that the two girls avoided each other like the plague. They all had their blame in that.

"Whatever Luke. Just save the bullshit. You know that you keep stringing them both along. Haley tries to convince me that you love Brooke but to me it's kind of obvious that you've picked Peyton. You've been wanting to be with her since she and I were dating, and now you can, so just stick to your choice!"

"Fuck you Nate! Don't lecture me, alright!"

"I'm not! I'm just calling your bluff as I see it!"

"What bluff? I LOVE Brooke!!"

They're both yelling now and a few doors away one of the neighbors peek out through the window curious to see what's going on. But then Haley swings open the door and snaps;

"Get you're asses in here! You're behaving like little boys and I'm not having it! You're going to sit down and talk about this like grown-ups either you want to or not, you hear me?!"

Too shocked to disagree they follow her inside and they're left standing in the middle of the living room staring angrily at one another. Lucas opens his mouth and starts to yell all over again;

"And don't talk to me about Peyton! I care more for her then you ever did!"

Nathan is just about to answer when they hear a voice from across the room;

"What the hell is going on out here?"

Lucas looks over to the sound and stops breathing. Brooke is standing in the doorway to the bathroom. Wearing only a towel. And she looks at him like he has just stabbed her right in the heart.

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Thanks for reading it. i'd be really grateful if you'd review /Lynn