Authors note: Sorry that it's taken me a while to update this.
It feels like this story is getting darker and darker… Depressing maybe, but you know what they say; you need to hit rock-bottom before you can climb back up.
Happier chapters await further along the story-trail, but this is not one of them. :)

This chapter is titled after a Stereophonics' song. And since I haven't said this in a long time: I don't own anything.

Tinycapricorn12, Prettygirl33, Lexi024 & Shedyourmask: Thank you, thank you and thank you!
Brucas2006 & Whiters: Glad you agree on the Lucas-matter. He really needs to shape up.
Wishinonastar: As always, your long reviews rock! And as always, you're a little ahead of time my friend… must be those Sherlock-skills again. But most of the things you ask for often comes true so just be patient. lol
Broody-N-Cheery-4Ever: It wasn't fightclub-material lol, but I just figured that Lucas needed to have his ass kicked.
pOoLbEeRtAtToOs: I was glad to see that you're still reading this fic. Your reviews mean a lot to me. Plus, they're always so long and I just LOVE that:)

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CHAPTER 8 – Everybody's changing

You say you wander your own land
But when I think about it
I don't see how you can

The bar is starting to fill up with people and Brooke is finishing off what she believes is her seventh drink. She's not sure though, it could be six… or maybe eight. …And she's sure there had been some shots as well in between. Her mind is foggy but that is as it should be, she thinks as she winks at Rachel sitting beside her. Rachel still hasn't really succumbed to her peer-pressure and picked up the speed of her drinking, and Brooke senses that she's not half as drunk as herself. But she doesn't really care anymore…

"We should play some pool… we'd probably get standing ovations…" she coaxes looking over at the tables in the back. She never got Rachel to go with her to another bar but as long as the bartender kept the drinks coming she was satisfied. And the guys in here suddenly didn't look half as bad either.

"Why's that?" Rachel says, slowly sipping red fluid from a martini glass.

"Cause we're going to be the hottest girls in this joint, bending over that table, and don't act like you don't know it. Being modest is not a believable look for you."

Rachel laughs. "Ha ha. Real funny!"

"I know! I'm a first class comedian tonight."

Her head is spinning and she needs to do something to sober up a bit. She starts to get off the chair but Rachel stops her by grabbing her arm. "I don't think that pool is such a good idea though Brookie… I might be a little too drunk for that, and I know that you are, since you just tried to drink from the stirrer instead of the straw…"

Brooke giggles. "Whatever. A minor mistake. It could happen to the best of us…"

The big cocky smile she wears might be a façade but it's nice to have her confident and bitchy self back. All the thoughts she had earlier about this not being a good idea is long gone. She's holding herself together perfectly; all her sadness and frustration tucked away safely in the deepest corners her mind. And now, if Rachel could just become drunk enough to stop behaving like a boring old hag…

A guy at the other side of her leans in towards her. "Hey girl… You look amazing…" he offers and Brooke shoots him a sexy smile. If she couldn't shoot pool she might as well indulge in some flirting.

"Of course I do, stranger."

He steps in a little closer and she can smell his cologne as he leans in towards her.

"Come dance with me…" he whispers close to her ear and she tries to focus. The hot breath against her neck, on that spot right below her ear, makes her heart hurt in a strange way. She laughs and downs the last of her drink to make the feeling disappear.


So little time…

Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

The guy isn't too bad to look at and he kind of has a nice ass. She thinks about blowing him off with a bitchy comment just for fun, but it's something in the scent of his cologne that reminds her of Luke. That touches something in the pit of her stomach. Maybe if she had this guy's arms around her then the thoughts of her messed up life would fade even more…

"What the hell…" she mutters and slides of the barstool. She's a bit unsteady on her high heels but he grabs her arm and steadies her. And she smiles up at him before saying "Let's go boy-toy."

She needs this. No messy love-connections, just the easy hook-up without any strings. This is what she should have stuck to from the beginning.

And although she feels Rachel giving her a strange look as she heads off to the dancefloor with the guy's arm around her waist for support, she doesn't care. She loves dancing. She always has. The rest she could face tomorrow.

For a second she looks towards the back of the room, to the hallway where she and Lucas shared their first kiss.

"What's your take on tattoos?"

He looks back at her curiously. "I don't know… it depends."

"Come here…"

She grabs his hand and she pulls him up against the wall by the backdoor hallway. And as she starts unbuttoning her jeans she can feel his eyes following her every movement.

"What's do you thinks about this tattoo?" she whispers huskily and shows him the Chinese symbol on the soft skin close to her groin. He leans in closer.

"That tattoo is… very, very… sexy…"

"Right answer…"

She tilts her head upwards a little and he leans in. As their lips crash together she almost loses her breath.

Brooke shakes her head quickly to rid of the memory. Then she winks back at Rachel.

"Don't wait up…"

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Men and women of different ages are drinking, dancing and making out all throughout the combined bar and pool-hall. Nathan stops just inside the entrance doors and looks around to scan the cliental. Blue Post was nowhere near a classy joint, but in a strange way he felt at home here. He, Brooke, Peyton and some of their other friends had spent lots of nights here a couple of years ago. And he had picked Brooke up countless more.

It doesn't take long before he sees a familiar redhead over by the bar and he makes it over to the counter where Rachel is sitting. Rachel sees him coming and gives him a look saying 'what are you doing here?'.

"Where's Brooke?" he says tiredly without even saying hello first and Rachel nods over towards the middle of the dancefloor. Or actually, calling it a dancefloor would be pushing it, he thinks. Truthfully it's more of a space free from tables where people could make out in public.

He sees Brooke instantly and sighs. It's not the sight of her all over some guy that makes him frustrated, it's the level of her intoxication. Again. He wouldn't care if she made out with the entire bar if she was sober, or of course he would, but mostly he hates when she does this while drunk. Tomorrow she would wake up next to some guy she didn't remember the name of and she would hate herself. And because of that she would drink again tomorrow…

This was not a new concept in the world of Brooke Davis. It was just a concept that he thought was in the past.

"How drunk is she?" he asks without taking his eyes from Brooke's swaying form.

"Way too drunk, even if you ask me. If that pervert lets go of her she'd probably fall over…"

The guy is older, probably a collage-senior, and Nathan looks back at Rachel. Seeing that she's almost sober he says coldly; "Then why didn't you stop her and just take her home? You're supposed to be her friend, right?"

"I'm not her mother Nathan. She didn't want my advise, she made that perfectly clear earlier. And about me being her friend? I'm still here looking out for her, right?"

With a look as cold as his own she stands up and grabs her purse. "But you seem eager to be her babysitter so I'm heading home. Good luck with getting Brooke to go anywhere…"

Nathan shrugs as she goes. At least someone had been keeping an eye on Brooke. But when he sees Brooke stumble he decides that enough is enough. Maybe Rachel didn't want to butt in, but he will.

"Why are you being such a bitch tonight Brooke? You should put some ice on it!"

He remembers the night of the basketball-banquet at his dad's house, just before Brooke and Lucas got together the first time. That night had kind of been the end of a drinking-streak that had lasted since the last year of junior-high for her. And it was the last night that she had needed to be 'taken care of' by him. But angry as he was for the mess Brooke had created between him and Haley, he had just dumped her off at Peyton's house…

They had already drifted apart by then, but if he hadn't been so angry at Lucas at the party, then he would probably have seen that Brooke had resorted to his spare bottle of vodka right about the same time as Peyton kissed Lucas. After all, that had been when the Brooke-Lucas-Peyton love-triangle had started, even if none of them knew it then.

"Game's getting old Brooke…"

He can still see the hurt that flashed across her face when he took Haley's side over hers that night. And then, just as he does now, he had felt a little responsible for her drunkenness.

Realistically it wasn't his fault at all. Her parents were to blame for most of her behavior during that time. But being almost a year older than her and having had unlimited access to booze from his dad's liquor-cabinet, he was the one who once introduced Brooke to the foggy land of drunkenness at the tender age of thirteen. A land Brooke had started to love a little too much when life went against her.

He never thought she'd really resort to a life of partying and waking up unable to remember the night before, but back then he'd never imagined that anything would turn out like it had now either. He had never in his wildest dreams imagined Brooke to end up with his brother, and even more so, he would never have pictured Lucas to be the one to break Brooke's heart. Ever since the two got together the first time he'd always thought it would be the other way around. Brooke had always been the skillful heartbreaker.

Brooke being here drunk didn't have to mean that everything would start all over again, but he knows that there is a pretty big chance that it would.

So he walks up to the pair and gently grabs Brooke by the shoulder. She looks up with eyes glazed over and it seems like she doesn't recognize him at first. But then she smiles.

"Nathan! At Blue Post!" she slurs, "That's soo great… We haven't been here together in ages!"

"Yeah…"

She seems happy. A clear contrast to her face in school this morning, but it is alcohol-induced happiness, not the real thing. So he intertwines his fingers with hers and starts to gently pull her away from the guy she's with, but she pulls back.

"Wait… I'm dancing with…" She frowns as she tries to remember the guy's name but she seems to fail.

"What you're doing doesn't really constitute as a dancing, Brooke" he says in a harsh voice, pulling a bit harder, but he immediately regrets his tone when he sees the hurt flash across her face. "I'll explain in the car" he thinks. He's tired and he wants to leave. "Let's go…"

But she's still not budging. Just sways a bit trying to hold her balance and shakes her head no. The smile is gone.

The guy walks off. Being smaller and less well built than himself he probably thinks that it isn't worth the fight, but Brooke refuses to leave the make-shift dancefloor. So Nathan just picks her up and throws her over his shoulder, ignoring her loud protests. The bartender watches them leave but he doesn't interfere and neither does the guy at the door. They both probably recognized them from before and just thought he was Brooke's boyfriend.

Outside he puts the furious girl down and grabs her arms to calm her.

"Hey Brooke, listen! It's a Monday night, you have an English-exam at eight tomorrow morning and you're drunk as hell. Let's just go home!"

"I don't want to Nate!"

She looks at him all stubbornly and he suddenly wants to yell at her. What was she? Five years old?

"Don't do this again! You and alcohol don't go well together B… it makes you… well…"

Her eyes narrow and her eyebrow shoots up to create a cold facial expression that he knows he could never pull of if he was in her drunken state.

"It makes me what Nathan? Slutty? Bitchy? Cheap?"

You're aching, you're breaking
And I can see the pain in your eyes
Says everybody's changing
And I don't know why.

"I didn't say that Brooke… It's just that…" he lifts his hands helplessly.

"Just what?"

He doesn't know how to explain and when he doesn't answer she sighs and turns away from him, rubbing her hands up and down her chilled arms slowly. And as he gently turns her back towards him she smiles. It's clearly a fake one but she's a great actress and seeing how almost genuine the smile looks he wonders how many of her smiles that has been fake lately.
He suddenly feels bad for jumping at her throat this way. She's hurting. Not just for Lucas, he can see that.

"What's the matter Brooke? Has something else happened to you lately that I don't know about? …Is it your parents?"

She doesn't answer. And in a strange way he wishes for her tears more than for this. Her tears he can handle by now, but this coldness is worse. She just closes him out. And he doesn't understand why. The last days he thought she was letting him back in.

"I'm sorry…" he says silently. "I'm sorry that I've just left you hanging for so long. I should have checked in on you more… but I honestly didn't think that you wanted me to."

"I don't" she says calmly, obviously still intoxicated but seemingly strangely sober. "I would love to have our real friendship back Nate… and the weekend was great and all… but I can take care of myself now. I've been doing it for some time now and you don't need to do it for me."

"I can see that Brooke…"

His voice turns out somewhat sarcastic and she lets out an irritated sigh. "Don't be so righteous! Look, this is ME Nathan! This is what I'm like. This is what I do. Take it or leave it...! Just because you don't like it doesn't mean that I'm going to change."

She turns to walk away and for a second he thinks that she's going to go back into the bar but she walks off down the road to the parking-lot.

"Come on B… my car is right here. I'll drive you home…" He throws his hands out in frustration as he sees her shake her head without turning around.

"Go home Nathan. I'll just catch a cab…"

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.

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Lucas has been trying to decide what to say to Brooke the entire day, ever since the weird English-class this morning, and now when he parks his car outside Rachel's mansion-like house and walks up the drive-way he feels nervous. He rings the doorbell a couple of times but no one answers. He even tries the doorknob, but it's locked.

"Who the hell locks their door in Tree Hill?" he thinks, turning to walk back to the car. "Well maybe Peyton, after the Derek-incident… But who else?"

Then front-lights of a car blind him and he shades his eyes with his hand. It's Rachel's car. The redhead steps out and looks at him suspiciously before walking up towards the house with nonchalant grace.

"What are you doing here?" she says as passes him. "Came to see me?"

"I'm looking for Brooke. But I'm guessing she's not here."

Rachel stops and looks at him more intently. "Last time you went looking for Brooke… wasn't that when you achieved that black eye?"

A smirk is forming on her lips and he looks down into the gravel and breathes a couple of times before meeting her eyes again. "Count to ten", he thinks, "there's no use in fighting with Rachel". Instead he motions towards the house with his hand.

"So, do you know where she is?"

This time Rachel smiles, but it's not really a friendly one, more like it's filled with mischief. "Well, last time a saw her she was in the arms of some guy, looking rather comfortable…"
She laughs coldly. "I wouldn't wait for her if I were you. She could be gone all night."

Rachel starts to walk towards the house again but when she reaches the door she stops and turns.

"Do both yourself and Brooke a favor Lucas and go home."

"So what are you saying? That I should just stop fighting for her?"

She retrieves the key from under the flowerpot by the entrance and slides it into the lock.

"You said it, not me… And I didn't even know that you had started fighting for her… I mean, any guy could have pimped her locker… I actually thought you would do better than that, but it's a little late now."

Then she walks inside and slams the door behind her.

Everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.

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Authors note 2: Pleeeease review. I need to know if you guys want me to keep on writing this story. The review-count has been a bit low and maybe it's because you think that there's too little brucas-interaction… But please have a little faith in me LOL.

Even if you hate it, tell me.

X /Lynn