Cena watched as Allison walked off

Cena watched as Allison walked off. A part of him wanted to run after her and explain everything but a part of him already knew what would happen. She had such a hard time trusting anyone and what little trust she had given him had now been shattered by fate. Cena felt like crying. He knew that it was a pussy ass thing for a big man like him to do but he couldn't help it. He wanted to drop to his knees and cry like a big baby. The funny thing was he didn't know why. Why did it matter to a superstar like him whether or not Allison ever spoke to him again? It wasn't like he was going to see her much anymore anyway since he was getting back in the ring soon. But still, none of those comforting thoughts seemed to help him at all. In fact, all it did was make him feel sick to his stomach.

"Hey John?" Carmella slid her arms around his waist in an attempt to calm him down.

"Carmella, please. This is not the time. I need to think about some things and you're not helping at all."

"Look John, I don't know what kind of relationship you had with that girl but…"

"Had? What do you mean by that?" he snapped. She pursed her lips and folded her arms across her chest.

"Yeah well in case you didn't notice, she was pretty hurt that you had been keeping secrets from her. I can't believe you didn't tell her who you were. What's she been calling you this whole time? Shawn?" When Cena didn't answer Carmella let out a loud laugh. "Oh my God! That's it! You told her your name was Shawn?"

"You know what Carmella, get the…never mind. I'm leaving." Cena started walking off cursing himself under his breath but Carmella followed closely behind.

"Look John, I'm sorry alright? I didn't know you were on a date and I sure as hell didn't realize that you were seeing someone else. I just…I saw you earlier and I wanted to see you again. Is that so wrong?" she asked. Cena stopped in his tracks and let out a sigh. He knew Carmella may have been trying to be sincere but right now she was the last person he wanted to see.

"Carmella, right now I'm just not interested."

"Will you ever be interested John?" she cried. Cena just stared at her and noticed that she was now starting to cry.

"Oh no. Not now Carmella. Why the…why the tears?"

"Are you really that blind John? How can you not know how I feel about you? You know, I've called you several times leaving you messages but you never call back."

"But you…"

"And now I see you in the park on a date with some girl...if you were seeing someone else you should have told me!"

"But I'm not seeing anyone else!"

"Then why were you two all hugged up?"

"I…I DON'T KNOW! GOD WOMAN! GIVE ME A BREAK HERE! YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WOULDN'T MARRY ME!"

"I KNOW THAT JOHN! DON'T YOU…don't you think I know that by now? You never miss an opportunity to throw it in my face." She wiped her eyes and let out a laugh. "I'm sorry," she muttered. "I'm sorry that I ever tried to love you again."

X--X--X--X--X

Cena got in his car and drove around for at least an hour trying to let off some steam. He was so pissed off at himself that he could have wrecked the car and not even cared. Sometime during his drive he managed to call Vince up and beg him to let him appear in tomorrow night's show. When Vince reluctantly agreed, it was enough to take Cena's mind off of the days events. He drove home, parked his Explorer and went inside hoping to get a nice hot shower before bed. Much to his dismay, Shawn was sitting at the kitchen counter drinking hot coffee wearing the biggest of grins.

"Oh not you," Cena groaned. Shawn, looking slightly hurt, just sipped his coffee and shook his head.

"Forgive me for waiting up for you like a good friend. If you don't want to talk about it then fine. Suit yourself. If that's the case then I'll go stay at the hotel tonight." Shawn put down his coffee, grabbed his keys, and started for the door. Cena grabbed his friend by the arm stopping him at the door.

"Come on man. I'm sorry. I just…"

"You're not going to solve any of your problems if you keep pushing them aside. Now judging by your looks and the slight attitude problem, I'd say things went pretty bad."

"I'd say you are right. In fact, I'm pretty certain that I'm at an all time low and I don't know why." Shawn put up his keys as he headed for the cabinet. He got out a cup and fixed Cena some coffee before motioning for him to sit with him.

"Talk to me."

"She knows."

"Who knows?"

"Allison."

"Knows what?"

"Everything," he said grimly.

"By everything you mean…"

"She knows my name is John and not Shawn courtesy of the ex." Shawn almost choked on his coffee as he did his best to hide the 'oh shit' face.

"How the heck did you manage to run into her?"

"The park. Allison loves hanging out at the park. Can't say that I blame her because today I found out that the park can be a pretty chill place to hang out. Anyway, Mella spotted us under the gazebo and things went downhill from there."

"Oh man. So how exactly did Carmella ruin the day?"

"Just her presence in general ruined the day!" Cena growled. "She was just being her normal self. By her being a model, you know that she's one of the real cases of that so called 'model behavior'. She just doesn't know when to shut up. There was a point today when I was secretly wishing The Rock would just pop out of nowhere to tell that chick to know her role and shut her mouth!"

"Wow. Yeah, I've had those moments in my marriage…no, excuse me, ex marriage."

"Man Shawn. You know what's funny? I'm not trying to be arrogant or anything but as a movie star and ex WWE Champ, I can pretty much have any woman I want."

"Yep."

"Yeah and the thought was supposed to cheer me up but it didn't. It only made me feel that much worse. I felt sick to my stomach.You should have seen the look on baby girl's face. I had finally, FINALLY managed to get her to talk to me."

"How'd that go?"

"She admitted that her father was abusing her. I kind of understand her situation but at the same time I feel like nothing is worth the abuse. I was…going to…" Cena took another sip of his coffee and stared at his best friend. "I was going to let her come live with me." At this Shawn almost fell to the floor. He had been leaning back in his chair and had almost lost his balance.

"Come again?" he managed.

"I know its wrong Shawn. Under God's eyes it's wrong, but my intentions were strictly honorable. I wasn't trying to…she doesn't need to be in that house!"

"You don't have to explain anything to me buddy. I trust you and I know that you're just trying to help. Now my question for you is this: what are you going to do now?"

"I…there's nothing I can do. She doesn't trust me anymore. It was written all over her face…or so Carmella pointed out."

"First things first. Have you sorted out your feelings about Carmella?"

"She and I had a moment today where she pretty much told me that she was still in love with me. At the time, I was so angry that it didn't phase me at all. I took a drive around the city and after doing some serious thinking I realized that Carmella could never complete me. She's…I care deeply for her but I'm no longer in love with her. If don't see her again soon then fine by me."

"Wow. That's harsh."

"That's how I feel right now."

"At least you know where you stand with her. Now on to Allison. How do you feel about her?"

"I…man I thought about her today too and I feel like I've lost one of my most prized possessions."

"Whoa. Time out. She was just one of your toys?"

"No you dork. I mean, let's see…fuck I don't know. I loved having Allison around. I loved her helplessness and driving around today I thought about how I loved taking care of her."

"Like a pet?"

"No not like a pet but…like a…companion. I thought about all the times I helped her out. She would always go out of her way to thank me like I was her knight in shining armor."

"More like a knight in street clothing with one arm," Shawn laughed.

"Aw come on. Don't joke. I'm fo real. I liked having her back and I liked having her around too. She never complained and although she was probably getting the hell beat out of her everyday, she never once let on that she was hurting. She's a strong woman and I like that but then…I felt kind of special because there were times when she'd let her guard down to me. She'd let me be there for her as be her protector and comforter—like today," he added softly. He sipped some more of his coffee and stared at the table.

"I think I know what's going on with you but because I'm not certain, you'll have to figure that out on your own. But I have a suggestion."

"What?"

"Go to her dad's house to see her."

"Huh? Why? Her father's a bastard and if he answers the door I can't promise you that I won't beat the hell out of him."

"You need to go and see her. Even if she doesn't come down to see you at least she'll know that you still care and that you really want to be there for her."

"That sounds too much like begging to me," he muttered.

"Women like that and if you ever hope to keep a good woman then you better learn to beg."

"I don't beg."

"Then she must not be worth it." Shawn glanced down at his watch then stood to his feet. "I hear you're in the show tomorrow night. I got a call from Vince and he wanted me to verify that you were all healed up. I put in a good word for you. Anyway I am about to get into that big beautiful guest shower and then hit the sack. I got to get up early tomorrow morning so that I can drive about 4 hours to get my baby."

"Why not let Don take you?"

"Yeah he offered. I told him that I wanted to at least drive there. So if it's ok, I'm stealing your driver for about 15 hours."

"Whatever floats your boat man now go shower. You're stinking up my place."

"Yeah yeah."

Shawn left Cena at the table with plenty of food for thought. Was Allison really worth the trouble? She was young, smart, beautiful…hell yeah she was worth it. Begging. Something Cena was not accustomed to. He did not believe in begging for anything. He was always the type of person to get what he wanted some other way besides begging but from the looks of things there was no getting around it this time. He let out a huge groan as his head fell to the table. Only a dumb fool in love would sit here and worry about this. Love. There's just no way I could be in love with that girl. The more Cena tried to shake the 'L' word, the worse he felt. After struggling to think about anything else, he decided to take Shawn's advice by going to see Allison. He was willing to try anything at this point to free himself from…whatever.