Author's note: Are you guys very angry with me? Try to remember that this week I've updated both Girl Behind The Red Door and this story so that should earn me some bonus-points, right? Well for all that its worth, this story always takes me a little longer because it's harder for me to write, even though I myself like it better than my other one. :)

Anyways… Big, big BIG thank you's for all the wonderful reviews, especially to Awhero who seems to have taken time to review almost all the chapters lately, and to WyaRose for your awesome PM.

The title and lyrics is from the song 'Pain' by Three Days Grace

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CHAPTER 12 – I know that you're wounded

Pain, without love
Pain, I can't get enough
Pain, I like it rough
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all

"People have scars…" Brooke thinks and empties another shot of tequila into her mouth "…in all sorts of unexpected places. And together all these scars just mount up to the person that you become."

But in her own case it really doesn't mount up to anything at all. Just to a pile of shit. All her scars have made her a mosaic of scattered pieces and she has no control anymore. Every day is just a constant struggle of keeping herself together and trying to match up to peoples expectations. And lately she's not doing that very well… She can't even make out which wounds that hurt the most anymore. The new wounds? Or the old ones that were supposed to have healed completely by now?

She looks around, searching for anything remotely close to familiar, but it's all fuzzy. She's slipping in and out of a haze, the alcohol taking over more and more of her senses, and a weird giggle bursts out of her. A strange sound that is a mixture between a laugh and a sob, and it unsettles her. It unsettles her because the sound makes her aware that she is alone in a crowd of people and no one here even knows her name.

Her heart is literally racing, and her surroundings seem too bright and vibrant, as if she has wandered into some kind of psychedelic dream. All sharp colors and fuzzy edges, the people around her malformed like in a fun-house.

"I need to get out of here" she thinks and slowly starts to slide off the chair. But her balance is gone and she sits back down. "Oops… too late…" she whispers. And then she picks up the last shot in a row of ten and downs it.

---------------

Lucas shifts his weight from his left foot to his right and then back again. Behind him, back at the house, the party is still in full swing and the music is blaring out through the open front doors. He's waiting for Nathan, scoping for the car down the empty street, and thinking about the last five minutes. How could five minutes contain so much?

When Nathan called him he had been in the upper hallway of Bevin's house, looking for Peyton. He had looked for her for a while and had just spotted her coming out from the bathroom when the cell phone buzzed in the pocket of his jeans.

For a second he though of not answering it but then he realized that it could be Brooke. He quickly got it up and answered it without even looking at the display.

"Brooke?"

"No Luke… it's Nathan. Are you still at the party?"

His brother sounded rushed and disconnected.

"Yeah…"

"Look man, I don't want to argue, just go out to the driveway and I'll be there to pick you up in five minutes. I need your help bro… I can't find Brooke…"

Nathan hung up without explaining any further and Lucas found himself staring at the phone. The digital clock on it told him that it was 2 AM and that almost an hour had past since Nathan left. Brooke hadn't answered a single one of his many calls but he had been sure she was safe, cuddled up next to his little brother somewhere, pouring her heart out to Nathan about how much she hated him, and he had decided to give her some space…

But if an hour had already passed since Nathan left the party to go and look for Brooke, then that meant that his brother must have looked everywhere by now.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone putting a hand on his shoulder and he looked up to see Peyton. She looked a little drunk and the anger he had felt ever since talking to Nathan in the garden came rushing back in full force. Especially when she tilted her head to the side and tried to look concerned, saying;

"Is there a problem with Brooke?"

He frowned, wondering how the hell she could even ask him that after what she had done but then he realized that Peyton didn't know that he knew.

"Yeah, you know what? There is actually a PROBLEM with Brooke…" he hissed. "And I think you know what it is, since I heard you were the one that caused it!"

Peyton suddenly looked pale and her mouth opened into a surprised 'oh'. But she didn't say anything which just made him even angrier.

"Why would you go and tell Brooke you love me? Huh? Couldn't you have told me instead?" His voice got louder and he tried to keep himself calm, because screaming at her wouldn't help, he knew that. "I mean really Peyton, why not just tell ME? Unless this was some stunt you pulled just to keep me and Brooke apart?! Because if you would have come to me, then I could have told you to forget it! I love Brooke, Peyton. I LIKE you but I LOVE her! How can you NOT know that?"

Frustrated he slammed his fist into the railing of the upper hallway stairs and bore his eyes into Peyton's. She looked away and mumbled something he couldn't hear.

"What?" he asked, still trying to calm down, and she looked up again. Her eyes were wet with tears but somehow it didn't get to him. It felt fake to him and instead of feeling sorry for her, her tears just reminded him of Brooke and how she had looked at him just before she kissed him earlier.

"What Peyton?" he ushered again and she shook her head.

"I knew that you loved her, okay?" she whispered. "And I didn't tell you because I knew that it wouldn't do any good…" Then she threw her hands out as a sign of giving up and continued with a louder voice. "But I wanted her to know what she had! I wanted Brooke to realize that she was lucky!"

Lucas just looked back at her in disbelief. "Lucky? You think Brooke is Lucky?" This was not what he had expected her to say. He expected her to deny all of it, to tell him she didn't say those things to Brooke or that she had, but then realized that she was wrong.

"You have to be kidding me…" he muttered and turned to leave. Peyton reached out to him again but he brushed her hand away angrily. There was no use in having this discussion and Nathan was probably waiting for him out on the street. But she looked at him with begging eyes and took another step towards him.

"I'm sorry Lucas…"

He squinted, taking yet another step back. "Yeah, I bet you are."

He had just left Peyton standing there and rushed outside. When he went looking for Peyton he had meant to have a longer talk with her, going to the bottom with all this crap, but right then he felt like it didn't even matter. First he wanted to find Brooke and see to it that she was safe.

He shifts his weight again and shoves his hands deep down into the pockets of his hoody. If something happened to Brooke it would be his fault. Nathan had been right before, he should never have let her drive off in the state she was in, and Nathan, sounding as worried as he had over the phone, just made it all worse.

He's brought back out of his thoughts by the sound of a car's engine and finally the headlights of Nathan's old Honda comes into view. Seconds later he opens the car-door and disappointment is still pooling in his chest as he gets in to sit next to his brother. However messed up this situation is, Peyton was still one of his closest friends and he had confided so much in her this last month. And all along she had known the reason that Brooke kept away from him, making it all worse by constantly clinging to his side. And as he closes the car door, he still can't make sense of why Peyton had done this.

Nathan doesn't even look up and say hi. Instead he starts the car back up and pulls out from the driveway.

"You still haven't talked to her?" he asks as he shifts into second gear and Lucas shakes his head.

"No. I've called her a million times but she won't pick up…"

There is still tension between him and Nathan, their earlier discussion still lingering in the air, and Lucas tries to choose his words wisely. He needs to know why Nathan is so worried but preferably without starting up another fight. He himself is worried too, but it is in his nature to worry. Brooke hadn't nicknamed him 'Broody' for nothing. Nathan on the other hand usually has a kick-back outlook on things and the scared expression on his little brother's face is unusual and unsettling.

"Care to fill me in a little here, Nate?" he tries tentatively and Nathan sighs.

"What do you wanna know? I mean, except for the fact that I have no fucking clue where Brooke is."

"Well, for starters maybe why I never knew that you and Brooke used to be close. Or why you look like you think Brooke is lying dead in a ditch somewhere… Seriously Nathan, you're kind of scaring me here."

Nathan chuckles even though his facial expression is still serious. "Old habits die hard I guess… I just really don't like it when Brooke drinks like this. She has a tendency to go overboard…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, the Brooke you know is fun, loving, cute and pretty mature, right? And you might be aware that she hasn't always been like that, but you don't KNOW the old Brookie… Not like I do… I mean, have you even met her parents?"

Lucas nods as if Nathan is being stupid, but in all honesty, he has only met them twice during all the time he and Brooke dated, and both those times had been in the hallway of her house. Them leaving on a yet another trip. And after they moved to California last year, he hadn't even heard Brooke talk to them on the phone.

Nathan sees right through him and smirks. "Yeah, whatever man. I guess you know that Brooke has been by herself for a really long time. But when we were fourteen her parents really screwed her over with this Paris-trip. She was supposed to go with them on a real family-vacation but they never showed up… and before that, she worked really hard on trying to impress them. Brooke has never been stupid, she had high grades, she did cheerleading, ballet and for a while she even competed in ice-skating. But that summer she gave up. I guess she figured that there was no use… And I don't blame her. Her parents are as useless as they come… Even worse than mine…"

Hearing Nathan talk about past times is weird in more than one way, and Lucas shifts in his seat. He knows what summer Nathan is talking about, but back then he and his brother had been sworn enemies. He and Haley, Mouth and Skills had often run into Nathan's posse on their way to the movies or the mall and back then their worlds had seemed so far apart. It's weird to think that Brooke had been part of Nathan's world back then, not his own. And it's weird to think that Nathan knew all these things about Brooke that he didn't…

"So what?" he says a little grumpy, the jealousy getting the best of him. "So she partied… but as you said, you were what? Fifteen?… How bad could it really have been?"

"Partied?" Nathan laughs. "Yeah, in Brooke's case I guess you could call that an understatement. She threw herself into the social scene, never missed a chance to be out all night. She was popular before that, but this way she became a queen. We weren't even freshmen yet when me and Brooke started throwing this extreme house-parties and we both had our high school futures in a box. It was fun at first, I mean you've met party-Brooke, she's a really entertaining girl. But then, in the beginning of sophomore year, it started to get out of hand…"

Nathan sighs, turning left out on the freeway, and when he starts talking again his voice is low.

"She got wasted every chance she got and I had lesser and lesser time to hang out with her. Basketball and the pressure from Dan being the main reason, but by then Brooke had gotten me and Peyton together, and the little time I had was usually spent with her. Brooke had her own agenda, mostly full of random boys and cheerleading and Peyton and I were a little too busy with each other to fully understand how badly hurt Brooke really was."

Lucas nods but he's feeling confused by all this. It's like he is listening to a story surrounding people he didn't know. Nathan and Peyton being in love? Brooke being Nathan's best friend?

"See…" Nathan continues. "After the Paris-thing, Brooke closed everything out. She kept coming to me when her parents left for months at the time but she stopped crying or talking about it. I think she just mentally emancipated herself from them. But of course she still felt hurt… and then one night I threw this party…

Nathan trails off in thoughts, gazes out threw the windshield and stays quiet for over a minute. It's like he tries to figure out how to explain all this and Lucas gets anxious.

"What happened?" he asks, pulling Nathan out of the daydreams, and Nathan shakes his head a little.

"Don't get me wrong Luke. What I'm gonna tell you is not a 'reason' for my worry, okay? It's just an example…"

It was a usual Friday night at the Scott's beach-house. His mother was on a business trip and his father was away playing golf with a couple of colleagues. And as usual Nathan threw a party. If he hadn't done it, Brooke would've, her being the only kid in Tree Hill with even less parental supervision than himself.

But this weekend it was his turn and he elbowed his way through the crowd of teenagers that filled the living-room. He laughed at the sight of Vegas and Mike doing a drunken dance to some new hit-song and took a swig of his beer, proudly thinking that he had for once outdone Brooke in the alcohol-department. Vegas' big brother had got them beers and vodka to last all weekend if they wanted it to. Usually Brooke got it, how he had no idea, but for being only fifteen, his brunette little friend sure had her ways of flirting people into giving her what she wanted.

He almost tripped as he made his way towards the kitchen and realized that he had already crossed the line from tipsy to drunk. Other nights when his house was the party central, he tried staying sober to maintain some control of his home, but tonight, after the way his father embarrassed him at the game, he couldn't care less if the entire beach-house got trashed by the teenage crowd. Who cared, right? Damn, he was the king of throwing house-parties and this was just their sophomore year. And if his dad found out he would just crash at Brooke's house for a couple of days, it was always parent-free.

About fifty people were dancing and drinking in here, most of them juniors and seniors. Because most freshmen and sophomores still had curfews, except for a few like himself, Brooke and Vegas, all forgotten kids of the privileged.

Looking into the kitchen, it came to him that he hadn't seen Brooke in ages. He saw Peyton though, sitting on the sink dangling her long legs, and he smiled as a mental slideshow popped up in his head. He had spent the majority of the evening with drinking and making out with her, and he would go back to doing that as soon as he had found Brooke. The cute curly blonde was after all his new girlfriend and Brooke had made it very clear that if he didn't treat her best friend like a princess, she would kick his ass.

He laughed and backtracked down the hallway towards the bedrooms while calling for her over the music.

"Brooke, come on! Let's play vodka-twister…"

When had he last seen her? An hour ago? Usually she was the center of the party and he was the one flanking her, making sure she didn't get too wasted or get into too much trouble. But lately she had been a little too eager to drink and frankly he didn't like it. He knew why she did it though. She fled her parents and their way of ignoring her, just as he did with his father and his high expectations, but when his escape-route was basketball, hers seemed to be alcohol and boys. The only thing that bugged him in his alcohol-dimmed brain was that Brooke really didn't seem like she was escaping anymore, she seemed like she had stopped caring altogether.

"Whatever get's you trough the day, right?" he thought as he opened the door to the first guestroom, but it was dark and empty.

"Brooke?" he yelled again, starting to get annoyed by her way of just disappearing. She had better not gone home. She had promised to help him clean all this up before his dad would be back in the morning. And even though he knew she just said that every time to make him throw the party, and never really intended to actually push a broom, he still liked her company while doing it. He hadn't hung out with her in the same way lately, being busy making out with Peyton most of the free time he had, and now, walking around and looking for her, he realized that he hadn't really 'talked' to her in weeks…

Truthfully he figured that she was still around here somewhere though, probably making out with some boy to make some other boy jealous. The games of Brooke Davis were never-ending, and he laughed to himself again, thinking that she was something alright, his little partner in crime.

The second bedroom was empty too and he started thinking that he had missed her in the sea of dancing people in the living-room. He knew he had seen her there earlier, dancing with some junior from the football-team. But that had been before their second round of jelly-shots in the kitchen, right?

Then he saw Tim and he grabbed his arm just as his friend where about to turn the corner into the living room.

"Hey man… have you seen B?"

His own voice was slurry and Tim laughed, him being drunk as well. "Yeah sure… everybody has 'seen' Brooke tonight… she made sure of that when played strip poker. But I think she's left dude. She was mad drunk… I'm talking way worse then usual…"

Suddenly Nathan didn't feel so drunk anymore. "What do you mean Tim?"

"I don't know, she was just way too wasted, but I bet Peyton took her home…"

He would have believed that, if not for the fact that Peyton was in the kitchen and she had been with him all night. He kept looking around hoping to spot her while he tried to think of someone else that could have driven her home. Without thinking about it he pushed open the door the last guestroom, the one that he usually slept in.

Nathan sighs and drives towards the city limits. "Brooke used to drive me crazy back then. She just kept doing all these stupid things when drinking and all my energy went to keeping her in check… I mean jeez… we were just kids. And the more she let loose, the more over-protective I got. But that night I was partying pretty hard myself… Dan had embarrassed the crap out of me on one of the first games of the season so I just wanted to drink and forget…"

Lucas is starting to detect that guilt again. It's creeping over Nathan's features, making him look uneasy and a little pale.

"If I had known…" he says silently and Lucas unconsciously balls his fists, just now realizing that this story might end badly. "If I would have known, then I would've stayed sober… and I would've looked after her better… but I swear, I though she was fine…"

Lucas isn't looking out the window anymore, instead he looks at his brothers profile intently, again saying; "So what happened?"

As the door slid open Nathan first thought that this room was empty too. But something made him turn on the lights and have a second look. Maybe it was the shoe that laid forgotten just inside the threshold. Even in his drunken state he knew it was Brooke's because she had dragged him around the mall for hours to find them.

"Brookie…" he said one more time, this time with worry mixed in with the slurriness in his voice. And then he saw her lying on the floor on the side of the bed. He reached down and shook her slightly but she made no movement, so he did it again and then a third time.

"Hey, cut it out Brooke! Wake up… this isn't funny…"

At this point he wasn't even sure if she was breathing. He thought that he could see her chest, in the minimal tank top she was wearing, almost unnoticeably moving up and down, but she was out cold. He tried pulling her up in sitting position, but feeling her body being all heavy and limp just scared him. He let go of her again and it was when she just fell back down on the floor, still not responding to his voice, that he realized that she might be in real trouble. That's when he picked her up and ran outside. His heart was racing and panic was building up in the pit of his stomach. 'What was wrong with her?' he thought with his still drunken mind spinning with fear. 'Was she dead?'

And when Peyton met him in the hallway, her earlier smile turned into a worried frown, he just yelled at her to call an ambulance, while cursing himself for being drunk and careless. In the state he was in he didn't even remember how to do CPR…

"She had a severe case of alcohol poisoning, with more alcohol in her bloodstream than a grown man…" Nathan sighs. "I have no clue what she was thinking downing that amount of booze but to her defense, I don't think she had a clue why either. Maybe she did, but she never told me… She had to stay in the hospital for almost five days though...and I had no idea how to handle it. God, I was fifteen! And when she was released it wasn't even a week before she was back at the next party, wearing the same smile as always and just plainly refused to talk about it."

Nathan looks pained and guilty and Lucas shifts in the seat. "So what did you do?"

"That's when I told her that I'd had enough…"

You're sick of feeling numb
You're not the only one
I'll take you by the hand
And I'll show you a world that you can understand

---------

Brooke has stopped drinking now. Not because she wants to, but because the young bartender plainly refuses to serve her another drink. And she leans against the counter of the bar for support while trying to focus on all the dancing couples. She can't make out the faces but something looks familiar with the couple closest to her. The blond guy holds the much smaller, dark-haired girl in his arms and they're laughing. They look like they're in love and their dance seems to be more of a playful game than a sensual swaying, and she feels herself smile when she suddenly remembers.

"Look at me" he laughed. "I call this one 'studio 54'."

Lucas made a silly move, pulling his hands in front of his face in v-shaped signs and she burst out in giggles herself.

"Seriously baby, you know that you look ridiculous, right?"

Instead of saying something back, he simply pulled her to him and kissed her deeply. His tongue found its way into her mouth and she met it hungrily, savoring his taste. Around them their friends were laughing and dancing too and she couldn't help but to feel insanely happy. This weekend felt like a turning-point. An end to the last month of greif, and she felt stupid that she had refused to go on this outing at first. The trip to Rachel's cabin had turned out so much better than she thought, and this night at the local nightclub was just icing on the cake.

"I love you" she murmured into the kiss, and she could feel his lips stretch into a wide grin.

"You only say that to make me forget that you just dissed my wonderful dancing-skills…"

She pulled back, laughing out loud and said "In your dreams gorgeous!"

And when his fingers dug into her sides and started tickling her, making her laugh until she was completely breathless, she decided that when everything calmed down, after Haley's and Nathan's wedding, she would tell him how much she really needed him. But not now when he was still hurting over the loss of Keith. Not now when they for the first time in weeks were actually happy…

Although she never did tell him… she never got to it, and just weeks after that trip, her and Lucas were broken up and not even on speaking terms…

Someone taps her shoulder, waking her up from her memories, and she looks up. The bartender with the kind eyes seems to be trying to get her attention and she shakes her head quickly a couple of times in order to try and sober up.

"Hey Miss…" he says, and watches her closely, even though to her he looks like he has a twin. "I think it's time for you to head home… Actually, I think it's been that time for a while now…"

She hears him but she doesn't really understand. 'Home? What home?' It's not like she really has one.

"I might as well stay here" she slurs, but the young guy just smiles.

"You can't do that Miss, and if you don't leave soon the door-man will 'help' you and then I'll get into trouble… see, I don't really think that your name is Gretchen, am I right?"

She's too drunk to become embarrassed, but she ponders her possibilities. She can't drive home, hell she probably can't even walk out of here on her own… and she's so tired that she just wants to lay her head down on the bar-counter's cool surface and sleep for days.

"My phone is in here somewhere…" she says and pulls her purse towards her, spilling half the content on the floor, and the bartender grabs her cell just seconds before it smashes into the ground.

"Do you want me to call someone?" he asks and she nods. For a second she is still lost in her memories and she is about to say 'Lucas', but at the last moment she changes her mind.

"Yeah, call Nathan… just tell him to come get me…"

-------------------

This life is filled with hurt
When happiness doesn't work
Trust me and take my hand
When the lights go out you will understand

Lucas sits silent beside him in the front seat as they pull away from the third bar they've checked during the last twenty minutes. His brother hasn't said much in a while and Nathan looks over at him. Lucas looks pale and stiff in the seat next to him and he wonders what his brother is thinking. But Lucas just squints as if thinking physically hurts, and keeps his gaze on the road ahead. And Nathan sighs again.

"She's tough" he says mostly to himself. "She usually tries to hide her feelings, but if you make an effort to get through her shell, she's worth it…"

Lucas huffs back; "I know that Nate! I've loved her for some time now, remember?"

"I know you know… I just don't want you to forget it." And as they drive into the parking lot of the fourth bar, he pats his older brother's shoulder. "You know, after you dumped her the first time, I stood ready to step back in and pick up the pieces. Even though we weren't even close anymore at the time… I was sure that she would break down, but it was never needed. Not even after she found out about the cheating." He laughs dryly at the memory. "Sure, there was the little incident with Niki, when Haley threw that party in my apartment, but that was more my fault. I should have known better than to ask her to come when I knew that you and Peyton would be there… But you know, then I realized why the real breakdown never came…"

He looks at Lucas again now and this time Lucas actually turns towards him.

"Why?"

"Well, she never really let you near her the first time you two were together. She loved you, no doubt, but at the same time you were more like her usual boy-toy's… The second time though, she just jumped right in there without safety net. Just handed you her heart that was already smashed to pieces. And that's what broke her Luke. She REALLY tried trusting you this time…"

Lucas doesn't answer and right then Nathan's phone buzzes next to him. The name 'Brooke' lights up on the display and he breathes out thankfully. He answers it and listens as a guy introduces himself as Chad, a bartender at a nightclub just a couple of blocks away, and then Nathan quickly interrupts him.

"Is she okay?" he asks sternly and Lucas flinches in the seat next to him. When hearing the guy say 'yes, she's just really drunk' he nods at Lucas to assure him that everything will be alright and then he hangs up and turns the car in the middle of a T-section. They drive on in silence again. But something in his blond brother's worried face makes Nathan think that if Brooke would ever trust Lucas again, it would all work out.

Although knowing Brooke, he also knows that this will probably never happen…

-----------------

The music is banging all the way out in the street when Nathan parks the car at the curb and pulls the keys out of the ignition. On the other side of the road, Lucas sees Brooke's little powder-blue beetle parked in a strange way.

"I can't believe she drove all the way here… Brooke knows better…" he mumbles, but Nathan rolls his eyes and sighs.

"She knows she shouldn't be driving drunk, especially since she herself founded 'DW not I', but I told you Luke, tonight she doesn't care…"

Lucas' chest tightens up and he feels more guilty by the second. "Because of me?" he asks and Nathan nods and gets out of the car.

"Yeah, among other things…"

Lucas shuffles out after him and slams the car door shut. He has never been to this club before but Nathan confidently walks up to the guy at the door and gives him a strong handshake, saying; "What's up man…" And the big muscular man just raises his head in a small nod and pushes the door open for them. Nathan walks in, and Lucas follows him quickly before the bigger man changes his mind.

The club is nothing like the Blue Post, the music is much louder, the multicolored lights are blinking and there are people everywhere. The crowd seems to be older, somewhere in their late twenties, and Lucas searches the many faces, trying to catch a glimpse of a certain brunette. And after just minutes he actually sees her. She's by the bar, slumped against the counter. She is wearing the same purple top and her dark brown hair falls down on her back, and even though he doesn't see her face he recognizes her instantly. His heart takes a leap in his chest seeing that she is alive and at least close to well.

"She's over there Nate" he says loudly to his brother over the pumping music, but Nathan is already walking towards her. The earlier jealousy starts to come back and deep in his mind he wishes that he was here alone and that he would be the one to save Brooke. And as if Nathan can read his mind, his dark-haired brother turns and points at him.

"Listen Luke, Brooke needs a friend right now… she doesn't need you to protect her or save her, she needs honesty and for you to tell her like it is…"

He nods, not really sure what Nathan means, but follows him to the bar. And getting closer he sees that she is asleep with her head rested on her folded arms on the counter. Nathan exchanges some quick words and a handshake with the bartender before rounding up Brooke's purse and the shoes that she has obviously kicked off sometime during her drinking-spree. Then his younger brother turns to him with a stern look and just says; "Grab her, we're leaving" and walks back towards the entrance.

Lucas looks down on his sleeping ex-girlfriend and takes a shaky breath before carefully picking her up in his arms. Her head lolls against his shoulder and she murmurs something in her sleep.

He thinks about how strange it is that even though she is wasted nest to unconsciousness, and her make-up is smudged, she is still the most beautiful creature he's ever seen.

'God, I love this crazy girl', he thinks, as he follows Nathan out into the dark night. 'Why can't she just see that?'

I know that you're wounded
You know that I'm here to save you
You know I'm always here for you

Trust me I've got a plan
When the lights go off you will understand

---------------

Brooke wakes up in a dark room and she blinks a couple of times to be sure that she isn't still dreaming. She doesn't have a hang-over, she is still too drunk for that, but she feels disoriented. A vague memory of being in a car with the two Scott brothers makes her take a chance.

"Luke?" she says with a dry and raspy voice that she hardly recognizes herself. "Nate?"

A figure walks up to the bad and sits down beside her, carefully stroking away her tangled hair from her face.

"I'm here, pretty girl… I'm right here…"

She closes her eyes again and when she opens them moments later Lucas is lying next to her on the bed, on his back with his hands locked behind his neck. Her eyes start to get used to the darkness and after a while she can make out his worried facial expression as he silently watches the little cracks in the ceiling.

Maybe he can feel that she is watching him because he turns and looks at her.

"How are you feeling?" he says softly and she doesn't know what to answer so she just shrugs a little.

She can see in his eyes that he still thinks that she is too drunk to be aware, but she knows where she is now. The wallpaper and the bed-linnens are well known, and they tell her that she's in Lucas' room, in the Roe-house where she hasn't set her foot in weeks.

By now she is also sober enough to catch his familiar scent and to feel the heat radiating from his body so close to hers. And she is sober enough to realize that she shouldn't be lying here next to him, yet she sneaks her hand in under the fabric of his t-shirt. He breathes in sharply when she touches his naked skin and he tenses his body as if he is scared. She rests her palm against his warm and muscular torso, right over where his heart is, and the rhythmic beat makes her feel safe.

She knows him though, knows him better than he'll ever know, and she knows that he's going to pull away soon. Even though she is still drunk she can tell that he is scared of getting to close to her since he wouldn't want to take advantage of this vulnerable situation. But right now she needs him to keep her feeling this protected, and the alcohol lets her forget for a moment that she also needs to protect her heart. So she moves even closer and buries her head in the crook of his neck. And then she whispers;

"Just hold me…"

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Author's note: That's it for now. But in the next chapter there is lots of BL-interaction to look forward to. And of course some Brathan-friendship, cause lets realize it, what would this story be without that?

As usual, please review.

/Lynn