21. Justify
Shikamaru clutched the forehead protector tightly in his hand as he knelt on the ground. His entire body was shaking with the effort not to cry. He panted lightly, trying to keep his breath even and smooth; no one else was supposed to know what his last decision had cost him. Standing, he turned to face his team with a steady gaze. "Come on," he said quietly, "we have to make it back to base before midnight."
There was a hand on his shoulder, gentle, maybe a little bit uncertain. "Why are you pushing yourself?" his teammate asked. The man was young, maybe even a boy still, and Shikamaru could not remember his name.
For a long moment Shikamaru stared into the man's brown eyes, desperately searching for the answer. "I… I left him there. He was still—" he cut himself off, his soft gaze turning hard. "I don't have to justify myself to you. Let's go. I don't want to be late." He pulled away from the hand on his shoulder and began to move in the direction of their base. His team followed.
After a half an hour of hard retreat, Shikamaru called the team to a rest again. Sitting on the ground, he stared at the piece of metal and cloth that he still held in his hand. He hit his head against the tree next to him, cursing quietly under his breath. "I'm so sorry, Chouji, so sorry. But I—" he cut off and looked around at the rest of his team, "I had to save them."
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More sadness… might have to do with the fact that I'm too tired to really think. Blargh. I watched Harry Potter instead of writing on time. Oh well.