Author's Notes: Thank you to Alauralen for putting up with my stupid little mistakes that I make in every chapter. I know it has to be annoying to change his to him constantly.

I'm going to dedicate this chapter to gospikey. I promised her I'd update yesterday, but when I finally got a chance to do so, my electricity went out. Again. So, Spikey, this one is for you.

Disclaimer: SGA doesn't belong to me. If it did, I'd have the real thing, and I wouldn't need to write fanfiction to get my kicks.

The Distant Journey

Chapter Five

Nia hadn't remembered a thing about their drunken encounter, and Todd only told her they'd fallen asleep. He suspected Nia knew something more had gone on, but he didn't enlighten her. It was easier for him to pretend nothing had happened.

As the weeks passed, Nia grew increasingly distant. She hadn't admitted it yet, but she seemed to expect something bad was going to happen. She had continued to panic at night, begging him to stay with her, and he had. It was growing harder each day to wake up beside her, wanting more than he knew he could take. Nia almost always woke after him—a fact for which he was grateful. It had been six months to the day since she arrived when Todd's day went from bad to worse.

"Commander, the subspace tracking system is still down. My diagnostics are not pinpointing the problem." The head technician stood in front of Todd, gesturing to the panel beside them as if he wanted nothing more than to beat it to pieces.

Todd clasped his hands behind his back, looking at the technician in displeasure. "Without the system online, we have no way of knowing if a ship might be in the area."

"Yes, Commander. Unfortunately, I will need to take the panel apart in order to directly access the problem." He looked slightly nervous as Todd eyes him darkly.

"Very well." There had been rogue human ships reported among the hives out of hibernation. It was unknown who they were, but their level of technology rivaled that of the Wraith. They'd managed to inflict damage on two of the three hives not currently in hibernation.

As the technician began disassembling the panel, a ship suddenly appeared in front of the hive. As soon as it dropped out of hyperspace, it began firing on the hive. A few well-aimed shots slammed into the hive before Todd had time to react. One of the targets was the control bridge.

Shrapnel exploded from the blast. Fires broke out all over the room, and Wraith lay injured and dead on the floor. Todd staggered to his feet, picking his way through his wounded crew and damaged areas. The weapons controls were unharmed, and he was able to determine their primary weapons had not been destroyed. With a growl of anger, he unleashed everything the ship carried.

The mystery ship's shields were only able to withstand the assault momentarily before failing. Hissing in pleasure, Todd targeted the ships engines, knowing the barrage would cause the ship to explode. Even as the weapons were deployed, he yelled, "Take the ship out of range immediately!"

The bleeding technician fired the engines, but the explosion caught the hive before it had escaped the blast radius. The hull was breached in the rear of the ship, and Todd quickly sealed off the destroyed sections.

Slumping over the controls, Todd finally realized he had a piece of the ship lodged in his side. If he didn't feed soon, he would die. Knowing it was a death sentence to remove the jagged piece from his side immediately, he beckoned to the technician. "You have healed."

"Yes, Commander."

Todd nodded, grimacing as pain laced through his body. "You will oversee the immediate damage control. Divert all unnecessary power to hull regeneration. Have the drones begin cleaning up this debris while you assemble a team to repair main systems. We could not survive another attack in this condition. Have a scout ship collect the debris from the other ship. We must find out what we can of these attacks. I will be back shortly."

The technician nodded, hurrying away, yelling orders. Todd gathered all the strength he had left and began moving toward the feeding areas. Fortunately for him, that section of the ship had survived. He stumbled, catching himself at the last moment. Pausing, he concentrated on focusing all his energy into moving. He was unwilling to ask for help and unwilling to take someone away from emergency repairs. Should another ship drop from hyperspace, they'd be destroyed before any sort of defense could be mounted.

As he slowly traversed the halls, his eyes swam. He was growing weaker. Todd considered pulling the wreckage from his side, but he knew he would bleed out too quickly to make it to the feeding area. He had to wait until he was there before removing the object slowly killing him. He put one foot in front of the other, taking the time to make sure he had his footing. As he resumed his trek, Nia appeared before him.

Her eyes widened as she recognized him and took in his condition. Motioning her closer, he said, "I must get to the feeding area, or I will die." Even dying, he couldn't bring himself to ask for help.

Nia hesitated. It was clear she feared what she might see at the feeding area. Todd faltered, nearly falling to the ground. She hastened to his side, helping him put his arm over her shoulder.

"Which way?" she asked.

--

Nia had almost finished the laundry when an explosion rocked the ship violently. Water streamed onto the floor, and the soap made it extremely slick. Her feet went out from under her, and she sat down hard. Another blast slammed into the ship, and Nia slid with the water into the hall, stopping when she hit the wall. A barrage of explosions sounded, and one last one lurched the ship.

Wraith drones rushed past her, intent on unknown destinations. A door slid open as Nia picked herself up off the floor. Two scientists emerged.

"The control room has been heavily damaged," the first said. "There have been casualties."

"The Commander?" asked the second.

"He has been reported alive but badly injured. He may yet die."

Nia's heart froze. Todd was hurt—dying. She felt helpless as she hurried down the corridor. "You'd better not leave me alone now," she said aloud.

She turned down a hall, having seen a drone run that direction. The smoke was thick in areas, so she lost sight of him almost immediately. Picking another corridor at random, she found herself face to face with Todd.

She felt sick to her stomach as she took in the debris lodged in his side. It was a large piece that would have instantly killed a human. Blood soaked his clothing, dripping to the floor. He'd been standing still for a moment, judging by the pool beneath him.

He motioned her closer, saying, "I must get to the feeding area, or I will die."

Nia heard the unspoken plea for help. What if your family is there, in stasis? a voice in the back of her mind whispered. Fear shot through her. How could she possibly watch him feed, knowing people were dying because she helped him?

Todd regarded her silently, allowing her to think without rushing her, despite his increasingly worsening situation. Nia made up her mind suddenly. Those humans were dead either way. Todd needed her, and she couldn't lose him. He was her protector—her friend.

Hurrying to his side, she helped him put his arm over her shoulders. "Which way?"

He pointed down a hall, and they began moving. Todd leaned heavily on her, and Nia had to put all her strength into helping him move. He was much larger than she, and it was slow going. Soon, her dress was soaked in blood. She had no idea how he'd managed to survive for so long.

What seemed like a millennia later, they reached the feeding area. Other Wraith were there, and Nia closed her eyes momentarily, trying desperately to block the image of feeding from her mind. Todd's grunt opened her eyes.

He grasped the piece in his hand, trying to pull it free. His strength failed him, and he grabbed Nia's hands, placing them on the wreckage. "You must remove this for me," he said quietly.

"What?" Horror filled her entire being. "I can't do that! What if I hurt you?"

Todd chuckled, coughing with the effort. "I doubt you can cause more damage," he said, "but I will die if this is not removed."

Nia looked at his side. He was right. She couldn't possibly hurt him worse. Gripping the piece as best as she could, she pulled. Todd hissed in agony as it slowly slid from his side. It was suddenly free, and Nia stared. It was long and jagged and had to have nearly punctured through his entire body.

Blood gushed to the floor, and Todd wavered, driving his feeding hand into the person in stasis. Nia dropped the debris, throwing her bloody hands over her ears as a scream sounded. Slumping to the floor, she closed her eyes and rested her forehead on her knees.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, desperately trying to block the cries of death. Finally, the screams stopped, and Nia cautiously opened her eyes. Todd leaned heavily against the wall, looking at her silently.

"I must return to the control bridge," he said.

Return? He'd nearly died. "Are you well enough?"

"I will live." He fingered the gapping hole in his jacket. "I suspect, however, that this jacket is beyond repair."

"I will go back to the laundry room and get your clean clothes," Nia said. "But, you'll need to show me how to get back."

Nia followed him, carefully keeping her eyes on his feet until they'd cleared the feeding area. Guilt and remorse flowed through her, despite knowing those people would have died anyway. She couldn't help but blame herself. Glancing at the imposing Wraith by her side, she found herself relived and grateful he'd lived. The thought of his death horrified her more than she'd ever imagined it would, and she knew she'd do the same thing for him again.

"That way," Todd said, interrupting her thoughts. He pointed down a hallway. "Stay in the room after you gather the clothing." Nia nodded, and Todd placed his hand on her shoulder in a silent thank you before heading the opposite direction.

--

Busy Wraith filled the control room to the brim, clearing debris and fixing damaged consoles. Todd entered, immediately besieged by the head technician.

"Our hyperdrive system is offline, hull regeneration isn't progressing as we'd hoped, and the subspace tracking system is still malfunctioning."

Todd hissed in displeasure. "We are target practice for any ship in the area. You must work faster."

"I will do what I can, Commander." The Wraith bowed, motioning his team's attention back to the still-sparking panels.

His first officer approached silently. They stood side-by-side, taking in the scene before he began speaking. "We lost thirty Wraith in the battle. Our food supply appears to be reaching dangerously low levels, indicating a large number of serious injuries."

"We must get the hyperdrive system back online now," Todd said. The first officer nodded in agreement, and they turned together to begin working.

Several hours later, the technician said, "We have it. Subspace tracking and hyperdrive systems are back online."

Todd turned immediately to the controls, searching the area for any sign of approaching ships. There were none, much to his relief, but he was still anxious to jump to another area. He wasn't able to ascertain if the destroyed ship had broadcasted their location.

Exhaustion moved through him, and he knew he needed to sleep. "Move us to a secure location and continue with hull regeneration. Monitor the subspace tracking system at all times. Alert me as soon as systems are repaired. We must reschedule our culling plans."

His first officer nodded, calling out orders as Todd walked out of the control room. He'd never felt so tired before—not even after healing Nia. He knew he looked terrible, but the regenerative sleep his body craved left any self-grooming impossible. It would just have to wait.

It seemed like hours before he made it to his quarters, though he knew it had taken only a few minutes. The door slid open, revealing Nia's worried face.

"Are you all right?" she asked, hurrying to his side. She put her arm around his waist, helping him to the bed. "You should have taken the time to rest immediately."

Todd sat on the edge of the bed, watching tiredly as Nia began unbuttoning his jacket. "I had to oversee the repair of the ships main systems," he said. "Sleep is a luxury affordable only now that we are out of immediate danger."

"Yes, well, I wonder how well the hive would survive without their Commander," Nia said as she pulled the jacket down Todd's arms. He moved over when she tugged on the jacket, looking at him pointedly. "This is definitely not salvageable," she said, taking in the dried blood and holes.

"No, I didn't think it would be." Todd yawned, barely even taking note when Nia pulled his shirt over his head. "You will probably not be able to wake me, no matter what you do," he said. When she gently pushed him back onto the bed, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Nia wasn't surprised that Todd fell asleep so quickly. She'd known as soon as she saw him it was sheer force of will keeping him on his feet. She watched him sleep for a few moments before making up her mind to remove his pants. They were as covered in blood, as his jacket and shirt had been, and she couldn't let him sleep in them. It became slightly problematic when she noted his underwear were similarly soaked. Shoving aside her modesty, she removed those as well.

Todd had told her to go directly to the room after gathering the laundry, but she'd stopped in the bathing room to fill a small basin with as much water as she could carry. Upon returning to the room, she'd cleaned herself of Todd's blood with a rag. His clothes had soaked up much of his blood, but he still needed a bath.

Wetting a rag, she began the daunting task of cleaning his body. True to his warning, he hadn't moved a muscle when she removed the rest of his clothing or cleaned him. By the time she slipped a new pair of underwear up his legs and wrestled them on, she was exhausted, as well.

Climbing into the bed, she pulled the blanket over them both. "Sleep well," she whispered.

Nia woke hours later to her stomach growling.

"Hungry?"

Todd's low, gravelly voice surprised her. She hadn't expected him to be awake so soon. "Are you feeling better?" she asked, ignoring his question.

"I'm not dead," he replied, shifting to face her. "I admit to having felt much better every other moment of my life."

Nia laughed. "I'm guessing that was your first experience with nearly getting severed?"

"Very first," Todd said. He smiled slightly in response to her laugh.

Feeling sober again, Nia said, "I thought you weren't going to make it when we were on the way to the feeding area."

"I wouldn't have made it if you hadn't assisted me."

His words cut directly to her heart. She couldn't imagine life without Todd in it. They'd only met six months ago after his orders had culled her planet, but now she didn't know what to do without him. A sudden shock of realization slammed through her. She was in love with Todd—she was helplessly in love with a Wraith.

"It's not possible," she whispered.

"I assure you, my death was definite. Had you not found me when you did…" Todd's voice trailed off suddenly. "You are not talking about that."

"I— You— Something to eat," she said, blurting out the words after her stomach growled again. Nia sat up to crawl out of the bed.

"You cleaned me," Todd said, stopping her from crawling over him.

"Well, I couldn't let you sleep covered in dried blood." She refused to look directly at him, convinced he'd be able to see her realization of her feelings if she met his eyes.

"You stripped me completely." She knew if she'd been looking at him he would have winked at her, unnerving her completely. Even knowing he would have winked unnerved her.

Her face burned. "As I said, I couldn't let you sleep covered in dried blood."

Todd struggled into a sitting position. It was obvious he was still tired, and Nia wished he'd just go back to sleep. "So that makes me the first nude male you've ever seen?"

--

Nia refused to meet his eyes, so Todd raised his hand, cupping her chin. Turning her face to his, he repeated, "So that makes me the first nude male you've ever seen?"

"You know the answer to that question," Nia said, jerking her chin out of his hand.

Amusement filled him, despite the exhaustion still hovering over him. Something more than the usual embarrassment seemed to be bothering Nia. She failed to blush as hotly as normal, and her usual tone of annoyance had been replaced with something he couldn't quite identify. "Yes, I know the answer to that question. I'm just surprised you brought yourself to undress me."

Nia's stomach growled again loudly. "I really need to get something to eat," she said, refusing to look at him again as she began crawling over him.

Todd put his hand on her arm, stopping her. "The ship is still in repair. All secondary systems are offline. You will not be able to cook anything."

Nia sighed. "I can get something that doesn't require cooking." She put her feet to the floor, standing up next to the bed. "Besides, you need to get some more sleep. You look terrible."

"I can imagine." He lay back, feeling slightly dizzy. "Go to the kitchen and come directly back here. It is best to stay out of the way right now."

Nia nodded. "Just get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake." She turned and left the room.

Todd thought momentarily about Nia's strange behavior. He knew she embarrassed easily, but there had been something more. She usually met his eyes challengingly when he teased her, but she'd refused to even look in his direction. It hit him that she'd witnessed him feed for the first time. Perhaps that was it. But, if that were the problem, would she have taken care of him while he slept? It didn't seem to add up.

He closed his eyes, still pondering Nia's discomfort. He fell into a light slumber as he thought of her, and when she returned to the room, he woke. He was completely comfortable, so he kept his eyes closed, simply listening to her sit at the table and begin eating. He must have dozed off because it surprised him when she began speaking softly.

"What am I supposed to do?" she whispered. "How did I let this happen? Falling in love with a Wraith? I must be stupid."

Shock pulsed through him. Nia was in love with him? It definitely explained her odd behavior. Unidentifiable feelings rolled through him.

"Oh, Todd," she said, anguish lacing her voice. "I can never tell you. I know you'd laugh at me. Stupid human that I am."

I'd never laugh, he thought. I love you, too. Sudden joy rushed through him. He had for a while, but he'd simply believed it to be sexual desire. He hadn't allowed himself to believe the truth, knowing she'd never love him in return, but he'd been wrong. She did love him.

An intake of breath followed by soft sobs filled the room, and Todd's heart constricted. Nia was crying because she believed he'd never love her in return. Gathering his courage, he said, "Laughing is the furthest thing from my mind."

Nia raised so quickly the chair tipped over. "Todd, you're awake. I thought you were sleeping." She backed to the other side of the room.

"I was," he said, sitting up again. "But the door opening woke me."

"You…" Nia's eyes widened. "You heard everything I said?"

Todd nodded. "I did."

"I… You weren't meant to hear that." She lowered her eyes to the floor. "I know you will never feel the same way."

"Nia, I—"

"So, if you could just pretend, for my sake, you didn't hear anything—"

"Nia, I love you, too."