Pine green eyes gazed placidly out the tall windows across the cafeteria, following the shape of the rough oak trees and the warm toned leafs hanging precariously from the dry branches. Autumn blazed through the world in fiery colours and brought along with it the whisper of winter.

Jenny shifted awkwardly. There it was again. That awful sensation of being watched. Narrowing her gaze, she discreetly scanned the students littering the tables. Her breath caught in her throat and she literally jumped when something moved quickly from the corner of her eye. She snapped her head in the direction. For a moment she just stared blankly at the soda on the table in front of her before her gaze darted to the apologetic expression on Tom's face.

"Didn't mean to give you a fright." He said quietly as he settled into the seat beside her.

"It's fine." Jenny cleared her throat, shaking her head dismissively as she straightened up and picked up the soda, offering him a forced smile. "Thanks."

Tom nodded slightly.

For a moment their eyes locked and they gazed at each other wordlessly. She wanted to drown in the familiar warmth of those hazel eyes. Jenny tore her gaze from his and turned her attention back to the conversation swirling freely around the table. Dee and Audrey were in a heated discussion about the upcoming winter dance and what theme would be most appropriate, and Jenny found herself wondering if it had been such a good idea to have volunteered to organize the school function.

When the subject had been broached in class a week ago – by one of the chic cheerleaders who was really only complaining to gain attention and used the student council having no year-end event as her ammo - Jenny hadn't really thought it through when she'd raised her hand and accepted the challenge of hosting it this year.

It was insanity, Jenny realized only afterward. Where it would usually take the entire Student Council of eleven members a period of two months to properly arrange a fantastic dance, she had less than two weeks to arrange it, far too little time to organize something that would make a lasting impression... or rather, a positive lasting impression.

Arranging these things were always a pain, especially with exams looming not far down the line. She'd wondered how she was going to manage her studies and pull the whole affair together but secretly she was relieved to have so much on her plate. It kept her mind from wandering and it was easier to suppress the haunting memories when she was too busy running around to concern herself with the past.

"We want something innovative. Something new." Dee argued heatedly. "Snow has been done before, it's old – it's worn out."

"What else represents winter better than snow?" Audrey demanded. "I think we should stick to a snow land theme."

"Why don't we have a summer theme then?" Summer piped in and won incredulous looks from the other two girls.

"That's..." Dee started.

"That kind of defeats the point of winter, doesn't it?" Zach said gently and Jenny saw his grey eyes flash warningly at Dee.

"Oh, yeah. I just thought... different, you know?" Summer faltered, pushing a hand through her blonde curls and cheeks flushing in embarrassment as she looked away.

"Audrey is right. What is a winter ball without snow?" Tom leaned his elbows on the table and lazily picked up a limp French fry from his plate, pointing it at Summer. "But I think you just might be onto something."



"What about a Hawaiian Luau winter style?" Michael suggested and shrugged when everyone turned to look at him in silence. "Or not. I'll stick to arranging the music."

"Good idea." Audrey arched her eyebrows at him, not appearing amused.

Jenny remained passive throughout lunch period, rarely joining in the conversation. The truth was she already had a theme picked out, she'd already done her research and gotten quotes for cheap decorations and drafted up a menu and booked a professional caterer to set up a buffet. The only thing she hadn't arranged yet was a DJ, but she left the music in Michael's hands. All that was left for her to do was get down to the nitty-gritty hands-on work. She had everything mapped out in her mind, though she saw no reason why to tell her friends that just yet. Jenny didn't want to place the extra pressure on her friends – Dee was already stressed out about exams and Audrey was lost in her studies every available moment, and Summer had literally burst into tears when Jenny had asked her how her reviews were going. No, she didn't want to add the pressure of creating a themed dance on their shoulders. With everything that happened a few months before none of them were the same.

Jenny still didn't know if any of them came out stronger from it or weaker – and she didn't want to find out if it was the latter.

Of course she wasn't entirely solo in this. Zach had offered her a hand with decorations that day once applause for her bravery had died away. She'd seen the mural he was creating briefly – he was as mysterious about his work as always and had told her to take a good long look because she wouldn't see it again until the dance. It had been rough outlines of what had appeared to be stones or bricks, nothing awe-inspiring but with the amount of time he was spending on it, she knew it had to be something really special.

Michael had claimed to organize the music for the dance and lessened the weight of it all on Jenny's shoulders, and Tom…

Jenny glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Tom had changed a lot. He'd become stronger and – though she hated to admit it to herself – he'd become a better person. For that matter, so had she. She pursed her lips wistfully and glanced around at her friends. She could guess what their reactions would be if they were to find out and neither she or Tom were up to facing any demands of explanations or answering inevitable questions. Though Jenny wondered if any of the others would dare tread there at all. It went without saying what was to blame – or rather, who.

The memory of the moment a month before played through her mind again, as clear as crystal. It wasn't as horrible as she'd thought it would be. She didn't break down in tears. She didn't vent out all her anger and pain of being abandoned. Her world didn't fall apart. Her heart didn't stop.

They'd sat alone in her parents' living room on the couch. A black and white movie with poor sound quality from some bygone era had been playing quietly on television. It had been near midnight, everyone fast asleep. She'd known what was coming when Tom had shifted away, releasing her from the comfort of his embrace that she was so familiar with that she rarely noticed it at all.

They'd sat for a long time staring at one another on the couch until finally Tom had said the expected words.

"Thorny… Jenny…you know I care for you deeply…" He'd trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

Jenny was thankful he didn't. She didn't think she would have handled it quite so smoothly if he'd actually spelled it out for her. The 'but' lingered heavily in the atmosphere. I care for you but… it's not the same. I care for you but… I'm not the 

same person. I care for you but… you've changed. The sentence didn't need to be completed because they both knew the unspoken words.

"Is it because of… you know." Jenny hadn't been able to voice the question in her mind ringing with a queer certainty.

Tom had understood and for a second it had looked like she'd slugged him in the gut, but his expression had softened and his voice had been gentle.

"Am I doing this because of Julian?"

Jenny hadn't been able to meet his eyes and had stared at the silent greyscale pictures in motion on the television screen instead. It hurt to hear his name spoken because it brought back the painful memories she'd rather pretend weren't real.

"No." Tom had said quietly. "He's not the reason why." He'd struggled to find the appropriate words, to say them out loud. "It's the things he… revealed to me, the clarity he gave me on our relationship… this is for the best for both of us, Jenny."

Jenny had nodded silently. The tears had been swimming behind her eyes but none strong enough to actually fall from their hold. She'd felt a hollow pit open up inside of her as they'd continued watching the movie, neither really taking it in.

"If you don't mind, Tom." Jenny had said after a while, avoiding looking at him. "I'd prefer we don't say anything to the others. They'll catch on sooner or later."

"Sure. Whatever you want, Jenny."

When Tom went home that evening Jenny didn't feel abandoned. A little hurt, of course – but she thought it was more like the pain of letting go of something you'd grown accustomed to and found comfort in, like packing away a beloved soft toy that had been your emotional survival blanket and facing the real world. Something that had helped shape you into the person you were but that you no longer needed for support.

She felt a release. A freedom so great that it filled her with a wild thrill of excitement but at the same time sobered her to humble fear. Of course she and Tom would remain close friends – it didn't need to be contemplated. But she would no longer have someone to kiss away her tears after a hard day, no one to hold her when she was lonely, no hand to hold in hers when she would go out to the mall. She was single for the first time and it left her nervous and insecure, even as it gave her a different inner strength.

The bell crashed through her reverie and Jenny filed from the cafeteria along with her friends, smiling goodbyes as they dispersed to their separate classes. School dragged by in a blurry routine and before Jenny knew it, she found herself walking down the steps from the school building along with her friends. They were discussing going for hot coco at the local diner before getting together for a study group at Michael's house when Jenny noticed Tom wasn't paying attention to them.

He was staring off into the distance with a look on his face that both startled and confused Jenny. She'd seen that look once before…

A look of complete awe filled his hazel gaze, warming the colour to a deep richness, and a genuinely happy grin touched his lips, tugging them up gently in the corners. Her heart jolted and she wearily followed his gaze.