The Bumpy Road of Love Chapter 3: Big Girls Don't Cry, a life with derek fanfic

Big Girls Don't Cry

Casey's POV

Derek left an hour ago and I'm sitting here trying to get use to the fact that we just broke up. He flew down here for the weekend. It was great being with him again, but so much has changed since I came here. I don't have time to focus on our relationship anymore. I have classes, and after classes I have homework, and then there are all the dance practices and everything. It's just too hard to keep everything in order, and still make time to call him or email him or anything. I love him I really do but I need time to myself right now. I hope he realizes that.

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

da da da da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your hometown
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
Be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Derek's POV

I'm on the plane ride back home. I'm not sure what to think of what just happened. We had an amazing weekend. Her room mate seems nice, and everything seemed to be going fine, but an hour before my flight she tells me she needs a break from us. I don't get it. We rarely even talk. I wonder if it's because of that? I wonder if it's because I have so much going on that I can't find time to call her until well past her bedtime. I mean we text a little bit through out the day. But Casey's never been one to text in class. I can't let her go that easily can I? I guess I have to though. Once she has something set in her mind she wont take no for an answer. But neither will I. We are suppose to get married, and she just breaks up with me? I'm not sure I can handle this. I'm sure it'll show in practice this week. Maybe I should try harder to make time to call her.

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We got some straightening out to do
And not gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've gotta get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry, Dont cry, Dont cry

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Casey's POV

I hope he knows how much I'm going to miss us. I mean I missed us enough before, but now that there isn't really an us I know I'm going to miss it more. I love him. Truly love him. Was I being stupid in breaking up with him? UGHHHHHHHH I don't even know. Oh great Alyssa is back. I wonder if she'll notice that I'm totally not in the mood to be around anyone. She usually doesn't though so this probably wont be any different.

"Hey Case"

"Hey Lys"

"I was thinking we should go out to dinner and you can tell me all about your weekend with that sexy boyfriend of yours."

"I'm not really in the mood to gush about Derek"

"What? Since when?"

"Umm I kind of broke up with him today an hour before he left."

"What?! Case are you effin' crazy? He's totally hot, not to mention you guys have been together for so long. Why did you do it?"

"I don't know that's what I was just asking myself. Lys am I seriously that stupid? I mean I don't seem to have time for him, but I love him. Should I maybe have just stuck with it. Am I running from my fears? I don't get it."

I begin to cry for the first time since I broke up with him. I don't know why but I can't stop the tears. Lys looks like she doesn't know what to say or how to comfort me. Ugh I'm crazy. That's all there is too. I've got to call him and tell him that I'm sorry that I don't want to break up. That I was just sick of not having time to talk to him. Time to fly up and visit him. Maybe I should really consider switching schools. I mean I could go to TU and we could get an off campus apartment and life could be perfect, but what about Dance? I love Dance as much as I love Derek. I can't just give up this dream. I mean why can't I have both of them all at once?

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

The path that I'm walking, I must go alone
I must take the baby steps til I'm full grown
Fairy tales don't always have a happy ending do they
And I forseek the dark ahead if I stay

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Derek's POV

Oh just great I go to my dorm room as soon as I get in and there's an orange hair tie around the door knob. What am I going to do until Justin's done with his "private" time. Well at least he remembered I was coming home and put the hair tie there. Boy the last time I came home I saw a lot I didn't want to see. I really just want to crawl into bed and sleep. Though I doubt I'll be able to sleep. Maybe I'll just go to the common area and sleep on one of the couches.

As I head that way my phone rings. It's Casey's ringtone. Why is she calling me? I thought we broke up. Should I answer it? I don't know if I want to talk to her right now. I don't know how I feel right now. Lost, Confused, Hurt, dare I say Heart Broken? No I'm not going to answer it. I hit ignore as I reach the common area, taking a couch on the other side of the room.

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Casey's POV

Where is he? Why wont he answer the phone? I mean he should be back to his dorm now. I hope he didn't go get smashed or something. I'm scared. I try to call him again and again it rings and then goes to voicemail. What do I say? As I hear the beep I flip my phone shut. Maybe I'll just go to sleep and I'll try to call him again tomorrow. Maybe by then the air will have cleared a little bit and things will make more sense.

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Like a little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
I'll be your best friend
And you'll be my valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
Cuz I wanna hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself in center, clarity, peace, serenity

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Derek's POV

She's called me six times in the last twenty minutes. Everytime I just hit ignore. I wonder what she wants. She didn't leave any voicemails. Maybe I'll text her in the morning and play it off as if I were asleep. Justin's boyfriend finally left the room. I saw him walking past the windows about five minutes ago. I'm just going to go in there and go to bed. Let my mind wonder in sleep.

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

Casey's POV

I couldn't sleep at all. I've just be laying here pretending. I don't know what to do. Maybe I'll try texting him. I grab my phone off my table and flip it open.

"Hey I'm stupid. I didn't actually want to do that. I just I don't know I'm going crazy here. So far away from everyone and everything. I miss you."

I hit send on my phone and now all I can do is sit here and wait. Not much else I can do is there? Ten minutes later and my phone vibrates. I pick it up and find it's a message from Derek.

"Don't call youself stupid because you aren't. You are amazing. I'm sorry I didn't answer earlier. I wasn't sure what I could possibly say to you. I love you Case. I want you to know that. No matter where this rollercoaster takes us together or apart I will always love you."

"I love you too. Can you forgive me for my stupidity and take me back? I want to be with you forever and always."

"Do you seriously have to even ask that question? Of course I'll take you back. Your my little princess...I'm sorry we haven't been talking as much. I feel like that's why you broke up with me. I have games and practices and classes and it never seems to end. And I actually have to do my homework here so that takes up even more of my free time. I'm going to call you more though. I promise you that."

"No it's not just your busy schedule. I don't have time to call you either. And that's part of it. The other part was so much has changed since I've been here. It's a totally different world down here. I just I wish we were closer. I'm thinking about giving up Juliard next fall."

"Case you can't do that. It's your dream. It means the world to you."

"There's nothing that means more to me than you. I've thought about it all night. I can go to TU and we can get an off campus apartment. It'll be good. I promise. I just have to talk to Mom and George and tell them that I'm too homesick down here. They can't argue with that. I mean they see you like once a month. I'm lucky if I can make it home for birthdays and holidays. I still don't know if I'm going to make it for Christmas."

"I wont let you give up on your dreams but I know how you are. So if it's what YOU really want, and you aren't just doing it for me then I wont stop you. But you'll have to think about it much more. I'm going to bed. I'll call you in the morning."

"Okay Night Babe. I love you always."

"I love you too Princess"

DaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDaseyDasey

A/N: Okay so a few days became more like 9 months. I'm sorry about that you guys but I was seirously in a writers block. And this just sort of came to me tonight. So here it is. Sorry if it sucks. Let me know what you think. I just hope I still have fans of it /. Reviews are great!!