Chapter 2: All Hail Chicken Man!!
Previously: The Kougaiji Gang are over at the Sanzo Party fighting them, Sanzo is dead asleep because he's just plain tired, Yaone has been gazing at Kougaijis' HOT BODY the whole time(can you guess why) and some freak is hiding in the woods waiting to attack the Sanzo Party. Man, that's a lot of crap. Moving on……………………………
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Day: Monday
Time: 4:05 pm
Weather: Sunny Afternoon
At: The Sanzo Party(the Kougaiji Gang are there too)
Location: Outskirts of a random forest
Current Occupation: Fighting
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-All kicking butt-
Hakkai: Oh, Miss Yaone. I forgot to ask you. -dodges bomb-
Yaone: Yes? -throws another bomb at Hakkai-
Hakkai: How have you been? -smiles-
Yaone: Quite well, really. -smiles-
Hakkai: That's good. Someone as wonderful as you should always be having a good day. -smiles- (total flirt)
Yaone: Awe, Thank you. -blushes-
-Kougaiji saw what just happened and gets very mad so he takes his anger out on Goku by punching him ten times as hard(and we all know why he's so upset)-
Goku: Ow! Dang it, Kougaiji. That hurt much more then-. -Kougaiji kicks him ten times as hard than usual-
Gojyo: Wow. Looks like Kougaiji picked up the pace over there. -looks over to see Kou beating the living crap out of Goku-
Dokugakuji: Wonder why?
Yaone: You're very sweet, Hakkai. -smiles-
Hakkai: Thank you. (what the heck did they start talking about? No clue)
Yaone: I just feel so bad that I have to kill you. -sigh- It's so sad when good people have to die.
Hakkai: Don't feel bad. I don't mind. -smiles- But, I won't say I'm a good person. Really, I'm not.
Yaone: You are, Hakkai-san. You're very kind, sweet, and generous. -smiles-
Hakkai: happy Thank you. -smiles-
-Kou gets even more angry -
A few minutes later……………
Hakkai: But I have to say, I do envy Kougaiji and Dokugakuji. (what are the talking about? Still no clue)
Yaone: Why?
Hakkai: Because, they get to be with you all day and every day; While I only get to see you when we must fight.
Yaone: Oh, It's not that great. -blushes-
Hakkai: Yes, it is. It's quite an honor to see your beautiful, smiling face.
-Yaone blushes even more-
With Kanans' ghost in Heaven……………
Kanan: -pissed off- HELL NO!!
Back on Earth……………………
-Kougaiji is pissed-
Kougaiji: -punches Goku- Let's go. -starts to walk back to the dragons-
Dokugakuji: Go? Now?
Kougaiji: -pissed- Yes, now.
Dokugakuji: Okay, okay, don't get your panties in a bunch.
-Kougaiji punches Dokugakuji in the face, Dokugakuji falls onto the ground and slides a few feet (ouchy)-
Kougaiji: Shut up and move your ass!! -starts walking again-
Dokugakuji: Sheesh, man. -rubs his right cheek(his face cheek, that's where Kou hit him) and gets up and follows Kou-
Yaone: -to Hakkai- Ummmm…I have to go.
Kougaiji: Yaone?!
Yaone: I'm coming. Good-bye, Hakkai-san. -runs to Kougaiji-
-Kougaiji glares a 'Stay away from her or I'll kill you.' glare to Hakkai and Hakkai glares a 'Bring it!' glare to Kougaiji-
With Lirin at Houtou Castle…………………
Lirin: Hmmmmmmmm…………-sigh-………I'm bored. Wait, I have an idea! Hey, guards come in here.
Guard 1: Yes, Lady Lirin? -they come in-
Lirin: Yep, It needs to be done. -looks at guards-
Guard 2: What needs to be done?
Lirin: I'm gonna give you a make-over!
Guard 1 and 2: WHAT?!
5 Minutes later……………
Lirin: Now, come out.
Guard 1: Do I have too?
Lirin: Yes! Now, come out!
-Guard 1 comes out dressed in a mini-skirt that's dark blue denim, a green short sleeve top that says "I'm your toy.", high heeled boots with leggings, a necklace, and sparkly, dangly (it's what my mom calls earrings that dangle) earrings-
Lirin: You look beautiful! -smiles-
Guard 1: I'm a man!!
Lirin: But, you look great!
-Guard 1 is pissed-
Lirin: Now, you come out too.
Guard 2: Okay. -comes out in a pink dress that goes down to his knees, (it's sleeve-less), high heels, a pink purse, and lots of jewelry-
Lirin: Wow, you look great. -smiles-
Guard 2: You think so? I thought it would be better if it was a light lavender color. It would match my skintone better.
Lirin: You're right. But, still you look really good. See! You look spunky and flirty -points at Guard 1- and you look innocent and peppy. -points at Guard 2-
-Guard 1 twitches-
Guard 1 : I hate this.
Guard 2: Oh, come on. You look cute. -smiles-
Guard 1: Cute?! I'm in hell. -sulks-
Lirin: You guys are so much fun! -smiles-
Guard 2: Yay!! -smiles-
Back with the Sanzo Party and the Kougaiji Gang………………………
Gojyo: Hey, monkey? You okay? -Goku is laying on the ground lifeless (Kougaiji punched him and he never got up)-
Goku: Ow. -sits up- Where is he? I'm gonna kill him for that!
Gojyo: Kougaiji's leaving.
Goku: WHAT?! Hey, you gay hookerwanna-be, you can't just walk away like that!!
-Kougaiji blasts a massive fire blast from is arm at Goku, Goku gets hit and well……he got hit meaning PAIN-
Kougaiji: -pissed- Don't you ever call me a 'gay hooker wanna-be ' EVER AGAIN!!
Goku:- laying on ground- Got it. Ow. Now, I'll seriously gonna kill him next time we fight.
Gojyo: Wow, you got burned.
Goku: Lame pun, Gojyo.
Gojyo: Dokugakuji's rubbing off on me, it's kinda scary.
-the Kougaiji Gang leave-
Mysterious Voice: Well, Sanzo Party. It looks like it's my turn to kill you.
Gojyo: Who the heck?
Mysterious Voice: It is I, CHICKEN MAN!! -a Youkai jumps out of a bush dressed in a chicken outfit- Say your prays Sanzo Party for my evil chickens will peck every inch of flesh off your bones!! Come forth chickens!! -a dozen chickens come out of a bush and are pecking the ground in search for food(they're not paying an attention to what he is saying)-
Hakkai: Oh my.
-Goku, Gojyo, and Hakkai start to laugh-
Chicken Man: Do not laugh at me, instead taste your dooooom!!
-still laughing-
Goku: You are pathetic, man. -laughs-
Gojyo: Are you by any chance related to Zakuro?
Chicken Man: No, I'm not.
Hakkai: You're going to try are kill us with…………chickens?! -laughs-
Chicken Man: You must not know the extent of my power. Therefore I must show you. BA-COCK!!
-a chicken grows to he height of a three story building-
-Gojyo, Goku, and Hakkai stop laughing-
Goku: Whoa, that's a big chicken.
Hakkai: Indeed.
Chickenzilla: BBBBAAAAAA-COOOOCKKKKK!!
Chicken Man: Feel my wrath!!
(Sanzo is still asleep)
With the Kougaiji Gang……………………………
(they got back and have been home for 2 minutes)
Yaone: Is something wrong, Kougaiji-sama? You look angry.
Kougaiji: Yes, Something is wrong!
Yaone: Oh, I'm sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?
Kougaiji: -yells- You've done enough!! You've done WAY more then enough!
Yaone: -teary- I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset. -Yaone starts to cry(she's crying because she bases her life on making Kougaiji happy, but instead she made him yell at her there forth she is really upset with herself)-
-Dokugakuji is standing there silent-
Kougaiji: Awe, (the 'awe' is in a 'oh no' voice) Don't cry. Please, don't cry. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's not your fault, really. -panics- -punches wall with fist- I-I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have yelled at you. You didn't do anything………………… I'm so sorry. -looks over at Yaone then walks over to her- Please forgive me. (he really is sorry) (whoa, he gives in to the crying/sad act really easily)
Yaone: -shocked- Ah, ummmmmmmmm………of……course. -wipes away her tears-
Kougaiji: Thank you. -smiles-
-Yaone smiles too-
Dokugakuji: Well, that was shocking. I'm just gonna go do something, okay?
Kougaiji: Do whatever you need to do.
Dokugakuji: Okay. -walks away-
Yaone: Ummmm…………Kougaiji-sama? What were you mad about?
Kougaiji: Huh? Oh,………well…………I can't say.
Yaone: Oh, all right. -smiles- Just asking. Well, I need to go start on dinner.
Kougaiji: Okay. See you later. -smiles- -starts walking to his room, he passes Lirins' room and sees her guard all dressed up- Holy-!! What the heck happened to you guys?!
Guard 1: Lady Lirin, my Lord.
Kougaiji: Ah, well take that crap off and put your uniforms back on.
Guard 2: -disappointed- Yes, sir.
-Kougaiji walks to his room-
With the Sanzo Party………………………
-all stare at Chickenzilla-
Goku: Crap.
Chickenzilla: BA-COCK!!
Chicken Man: MUHUHAHAHA!! Die, Sanzo Party! Die!!
-Chickenzilla starts to chase after Gojyo-
Gojyo: AHHHH! -running away- Why chase me?! Chase Hakkai, you stupid chicken!!
Hakkai: Humph! -mad-
Goku: Hey, you big, ugly, fat, turd leave Gojyo alone!!
-Chickenzilla turns around and starts chasing Goku-
Goku: I didn't say 'chase me'!! -runs away-
Hakkai: What I don't understand is why don't we kill the chicken and leave it at that. (he's hiding behind a rock with Gojyo planning their escape)
Gojyo: Because…………I don't know.
Hakkai: I see. Well, lets go kill it! Charge!! -runs out from behind rock and runs toward Chickenzilla-
Chicken Man: HAHAHAHA!! You can't kill her because you'll be to preoccupied keeping YOURSEVLES alive!!
-all the chickens grow fangs and run after Gojyo and Hakkai-
Gojyo: AHHHH! Not cool! -running away from chickens-
-a mysterious rock falls from the sky and hits Sanzo on the head-
Sanzo: Huh? What? Is it morning already? -slowly opens his eyes to see chicken chaos- Oh, no. I'm still dreaming. Well, better get up and continue what I usually do in my dreams. -brings out sombrero and accordion and starts to sing love songs to one of the savage chickens (he put the rock that hit him is his robe)-
Goku: SANZO?! What the heck are you doing?! -stares at Sanzo in disbelief-
Sanzo: I'm singing, monkey-san. -continues-
Goku: What?
Sanzo: It's what I love to do in my dreams.
Goku: You're not dreaming.
Sanzo: Yes, I am. Why else would Gojyo be chased by a big chicken and Dances with flightless Birds be dancing with flightless birds. -looks at Hakkai (Hakkai is running away from the chicken, but it looks like some awkward dance)-
Goku: Hakkai? Oh, you of all people should know that's normal to him.
Sanzo: True. But, I'm still dreaming. -starts to yodel-
Goku: Gah! My ears!! Sanzo stop!! -runs over to Sanzo and slaps him upside the head-
Sanzo: Hmmm..oh..Hi, Goku. I had a weird dream.
Goku: You weren't dreaming, moron.
-Sanzo sees Gojyo being chased by a big chicken, Hakkai doing some weird dance, and himself still wearing a sombrero-
Sanzo: Oh.
Goku: Yeah.
Sanzo: Forget everything you saw and heard.
Goku: Gladly.
-Gojyo runs behind a rock to catch his breath-
Chicken Man: You cannot escape, Sanzo Party!
Sanzo: Well, lets begin. -joins in the chaos with Goku-
Gojyo: Man, this world is screwed up. -looks at Chickenzilla-
Chickenzilla: BA-COOOOOOCCCKKKKKK!! -starts pecking the ground-
Chicken Man: Hahahahahahahah!! Die, Sanzo Party!!
-Chickenzilla chases after the Sanzo Party pecking at them-
Gojyo: -running away from Chickenzilla again- This is SO weird!!
Sanzo: Weird?! Far stranger then just 'weird'!! -shoots gun at chicken-
-all bullets miss Chickenzilla for it has super, chicken, ninja moves-
Sanzo: Damn!
-all the little chickens are running after them too-
Hakkai: Sanzo, don't shoot the chickens!! That would be mean!! -running also-
Sanzo: ARE YOU CRAZY?!
Hakkai: -very calmly- Yes.
-all stare at Hakkai; Hakkai smiles his traditional Hakkai smile-
Chicken Man: MUHUHAHAHAHAH!! Kill them!!
-Chickenzilla grabs Goku with his beak and throws him-
Gojyo: Goku!!
-Goku hit's a rock then falls to the ground-
Goku: -dizzy- That was fun. -slowly gets up-
Gojyo: Fun? Man, everyone is crazy.
-all run and scream-
Hakuryu: Kyu? -he looks at Chickenzilla; love music starts to play- Kyu. -happy as a cucumber- -flies over and sits on a branch near Chickenzilla- Kyu?
-Chickenzilla looks at Hakuryu; love at first sight-
Chickenzilla: Ba-cock. -walks over to Hakuryu; Hakuryu flies up and caresses Chickenzilla(is that possible?)-
Hakuryu: -lovey-dovey- Kyu.
Chickenzilla: -lovey-dovey- Ba-cock.
Hakkai: What's going on? -looks at Hakuryu and Chickenzilla-
Gojyo: I think Hakuryu is putting the moves on that chicken and isn't doing that bad of a job too.
Hakuryu: Kyu. -nudges Chickenzilla-
Chicken Man: Chickenzilla?
Hakkai: It looks like he really likes her. -still staring-
Sanzo: I guess…he likes big women. -stares at Chickenzilla-
Hakkai: Indeed.
Goku:-happy- Awe, he's in love. -sigh- That's so wonderful. -smiles-
Gojyo: What? Are you okay? He's sweet talk'n a giant CHICKEN!!
Goku: Well, I thinks it's sweet that he can love her even if she is a little strange.
Gojyo: A little?
Sanzo: This is gross. -watchs Hakuryu-
Chicken Man: CHICKENZILLA!! Stop your playing around and finish them!!
-Chickenzilla looks at Hakuryu-
Hakuryu: Kyu. -looks at her with the 'Please, don't hurt my servants.' look-
-Chickenzilla walks over to Chicken Man and steps on him-
Everyone: Ouch!
Gojyo: Holy-!
Goku: Okay…that was gross. -grossed out-
Chickenzilla: Be-cock. -walks back over to Hakuryu-
Hakkai: Well, I guess that's over.
Gojyo: Ew. I guess so. -still in shock-
-all the little chickens start pecking the ground-
Sanzo: Now, what to do with him. -points at Hakuryu-
Gojyo: I don't know, but if we leave him with Chickenzilla there will be some freaky, mutant babies on the way.
Goku: Yeah.
-Chickenzilla and Hakuryu are cuddling-
Hakkai: Hakuryu, we have to go.
Hakuryu: Kyu? (translation: What? Now?)
Hakkai: Come on. You can visit Chickenzilla later.
Hakuryu: KYU! (translation: NO!)
Hakkai: Please, Hakuryu. We need you. Please, come to daddy.
Hakuryu: -sigh- Kyu. (translation: Okay.)
Gojyo: Daddy?
Sanzo: Freaky. -shudders-
Goku: That's not right.
Hakkai: Say, 'good-bye' and then lets go.
-Hakuryu looks at Chickenzilla-
Hakuryu: Kyu. -Dragon kisses Chickenzilla- (translation: I'll be back. I love you.)
Everyone: EW!
Chickenzilla: Ba-cock. (translation: I'll miss you, my love.)
-Hakuryu flies back onto Hakkai shoulder-
Hakkai: Don't worry Hakuryu you'll see her again.
Hakuryu: Kyu. -turns into jeep form-
Hakkai: Alright, everyone! Lets be off.
-all get into Hakuryu-
Gojyo: Well, today was really odd.
Goku: Yeah, I didn't even get to eat that big chicken. -sigh-
Hakuryu: -pissed- KYU!!
Sanzo: Goku, you made him mad.
Goku: Oh, sorry.
At an inn……………………(10:00 pm.)
Goku: -pissed- AHHHHGGG!! HAKURYU, YOU BASTARD!! YOU PEED IN MY SHEETS!! -runs out of bedroom is disgust-
Hakkai: You deserved that.
Hakuryu: -mockingly- Kyu, Kyu, Kyuuuuu. -smiles-
Goku: You stupid, stupid. -mad and stomps back into bedroom-
Back at that Random Forest……………………
-Chicken Man crawls out of the crater-
Chicken: You'll pay for that Sanzo Party, YOU'LL PAY!! MUHUHAHAHAHA-!! -falls back into crater- Ouch.
--
To be continued in chapter 3!!
Urasai: To our favorite Bad Guy…..
Gojyo: Hey, I've been thinking……
Sanzo: Amazing.
Gojyo: Shut up!!
Hakkai: What have you been thinking about?
Gojyo: Shouldn't we send a present to Kougaiji. You know, to be nice.
Goku: That sounds fun!! What should we send him?
Hakkai: Hmmmmm………I got it!!
Goku & Gojyo: What, what? -they huddle around Hakkai-
At Houtou Castle……
Yaone: Kougaiji-sama, a package is here for you.
Kougaiji: A package? I never get mail. -takes package and opens it- -pissed and sarcastic- Oh, nice. -(the Sanzo Party photo copied their butts and sent him the pictures) the note says: "To our favorite Bad Guy… Love-the Sanzo Party"-
Yaone: Oh, my.
Kougaiji: Jerks. -mad as hell-