SAVE DOOMSDAY FOR ME
edward's pov
"Okay, wait a minute."
"Say that again, please?"
"In English."
It has been approximately an hour since Carlisle began breaking down and yapping nonsense about him dancing the Conga to comfort a girl.
Actually, his story isn't that long-I think.
It's just so hard to keep up with the details.
I mean, how does 'Conga' and 'comfort a girl' even fit in one sentence?
"I've repeated my story for at least 5 times now. Were you three even listening to me?" Carlisle asked desperately.
"Of course we were, won't we, guys?" Emmett answered confidently.
"Y-yeah," Jasper and I stammered.
"See? I'm speaking for all of us that you met this girl named Esme Platt," Emmett began and begged us to continue.
I nudged at Jasper but he nudged me back.
"And she dropped her keys in her haste to get something in town," I continued.
Jasper, for Pete's sake, make up something good.
"And then you danced the Conga to comfort her," Jasper finished.
The three of us exchanged hi-5's behind Carlisle's back as soon as we got the chance.
"I'm doomed. I completely made a fool of myself," he continued to whine.
Carlisle's whining. He picked up a new human emotional hobby?!
"Think about it this way, Carlisle. We ... don't have to buy soap for a month now," Emmett grinned his stupid grin.
"Oh that's just great!" he complained. "I'm going out."
He stood up and marched outside of the dorm room.
"Where are you headed to?" I called out, still amused.
"Coffee!" he said.
"Wait a minute!" Emmett scrambled from the floor and picked up the bag Carlisle left. "You forgot your soap."
"He's gone, man," Jasper chuckled at Emmett's fake concern.
"No, he's a goner. He's been a teacher for so long he forgot how to date women," he replied.
"Should we help him out or something?" I suggested.
The two exchanged looks and laughed at my face.
"Are you even serious?!" Emmett boomed.
"Yes," my tone tried to prove it.
"Can he even do that, Edward? He is a Gabriel, an angel of love, but I've never seen a single proof of what he claims to be since I'd met him," Jasper mused.
"Hey!"
"I'm just saying. Oh well. Never mind. Forget about what I just said," I was plugging my earphones again when two hands unplugged it again.
"Ow! You could've torn my ears out."
"A prophetic vision just hit me. Hear me out here, Ed. You said that you think we should help him out, right?" Jasper stood up and paced around the room.
It looked like a 'prophetic vision' really did hit him. But I doubt that it was something I should take seriously. Anyhow, I decided to play on.
"Yes, Jasper," I sighed.
"What's with him?" Emmett asked me.
I shrugged.
"We should hook him up with somebody. We have gotta find him somebody to love!"
I knew it. Another one of his how-to-solve-a-problem-the human way.
"How are we going to do that?" Emmett asked dumbly.
"You goofball! We just have to go clubbing. A Bachelors' Night Out."
"Have fun, then," I said and attempted to plug my earphones again when another set of hands took them out.
"That was fun. Figures why Jasper did it in the first place," Emmett grinned smugly.
"You're coming with us," Jasper said.
It was not an invitation. It was a command.
"No I am not," I said firmly and snatched my earphones back from Emmett.
"But weren't you the one who even thought about helping him?"
"Yes but my idea was to catch up with him in Starbucks. Maybe pay for his coffee and divert his thoughts from a day of embarrassment. Simple. Easy."
"And boring," Emmett added. "Check this out, Jasper man. A new club's opening in town. It's called-"
"L.A. Posh Drinking Bar and Dance Club," Jasper finished as he and Emmett examined a newspaper ad.
"Grand opening this Saturday night. Free drinks. Dude, we've got to go!" Emmett begged.
"And we are going. You're going, right, Edward?"
I snatched the ad from them, half hoping that they were making L.A. Posh up.
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I'm going."
bella's pov
"Alice, this is crazy!" I complained.
"Just do this one thing for me, Bella, please? It's not that bad. You just have to knock on room 20-" she explained-for the millionth time today.
"And say, 'Delivery for Jasper' and hand these to him', right?"
"No, no. Just give it to him. Forget about the mailman persona."
"Why couldn't you have asked Rose to do this?"
"Because you're my favorite sister. She's nosy and bossy and she's still angry with me."
"Of course she would! You kept on repeating 'sex god' over and over again!"
"Just get out there and get this over with. You owe me big time. Now go!"
Alice pushed me from the first column from the main entrance to the Boys' Dormitory Tower. Sometimes I wish she didn't get over that flu just yet. Although how she did it, I'll never know.
Fortunately for her (and me), there's still a month to go before summer vacation's over which means that the place is still deserted. I'm not even so sure if we're allowed in this part of the school.
The plan was to send this colorful bag filled with pink tissue paper to this boy named Jasper as a thank you for giving Alice a Softies box 'during her time of need'. I thought that it was just plain ridiculous. Why does it have to be me? Good question. I had to borrow money from Alice when I saw this special edition copy of 'Wuthering Heights' and couldn't keep my claws (literally) off of them. So now I'm indebted to her until I can pay up.
I heaved in a deep breath before knocking on the door. Alice gave me a thumbs up from where she was standing and smiled happily. She thinks this is the best plan she's ever come up with. Right. A bag of tissues. Nothing but the best.
Footsteps thumped from inside the room and I took in a deep breath again. This is for you, Emily Bronte.
At first I thought that I could not stop breathing in until I realized that I was hyperventilating. Staring and hyperventilating at this gorgeous gorgeous boy in front of me. He looked like a god but he was, of course, a man. A boy. My age. His bronze hair was arranged in a wild disarray. So it was not arranged in any way. How mind-boggling he was and it looked like I was boggling his mind too. His set of deep green eyes stared at my face in full concern. Stop hyperventilating, Bella!
"He-hello?" he hesitated.
He must've thought there was something wrong with me.
And there was.
The inability to keep myself from the likes of him.
Lovely.
You stupid stupid girl. Talk!
"Hi. I'm Bella."
"Hey Bella. I'm Edward. May I help you?"
You can start by not dazzling me.
"Um yeah," I quickly shifted the knitted bag in my other hand and used the free one to tuck my hair under my left ear. "Is Jasper in?"
"Oh. Yeah. Sure. Hold on a second," I could almost make out the hint of disappointment in his voice.
Or was I imagining things?
"Jasper?" he called out in a loud but gentle voice that I once thought never existed.
"Yeah?" the answering sound came from what must be the bathroom.
"A girl named Bella is looking for you."
"I don't know someone named Bella."
Of course he doesn't.
"I'm actually a friend of his friend. Alice. Alice Brandon," I quickly explained in case Edward would completely misunderstand me.
"Ah. Alice," he nodded.
"Yeah. Alice. She asked me to give these to Jasper."
I handed the bag without looking at whatever expression he might have. Seriously. A bag of pink tissue rolls! What would any boy think?
"Sure, I'll give these to Jasper," he said with no hint of the amusement I'd anticipated.
"Thanks," I mumbled. "Well, I better get going now. I'll see you around."
"I certainly hope so, Bella," he said.
He watched me walk away and pull Alice from her hiding place.
He continued to watch us walk away and I continued to peek back just to make sure he was still there. Leaning by the door way. With a bag of pink tissues rolls.
emmett's pov
"Hello ladies," I said and tipped my invisible hat on the two girls that passed by.
One was very tiny and she giggled.
At first I thought my invisible hat act cracked her up until I realized that I was still carrying the trash bin I had emptied only moments ago. Jasper even drew a butt doodle on it with the word 'Dirt' below. How inconvenient.
"Hello," the tiny girl said.
The taller brunette girl pulled her friend and walked away quickly.
"Did I do something wrong?" I asked Edward who was still standing by the door. His eyes never strayed away from the two girls.
"Dude? It's not polite to stare at someone like that," I told him and waved my the trash bin on his face.
He shook his head and backed away from the bin immediately. "Hey, don't get those germs on me! I just had my bath, Em."
That's Edward, all right. A clean freak. Just look at that purple basket he was hol- ... hello.
"Pink tissue rolls?"
His eyes followed mine down and he blushed like a sissy little girl.
"Were there girl scouts who came and sold pink tissue rolls from door-to-door?" I laughed at my own joke.
He rolled his eyes and shut the door. "Close enough."
He walked ahead onto the couch and dumped his head on his Eeyore pillow.
"You liked that one, huh?" I asked from my bed right across the couch.
Mine was the closest to the door because I told Jasper and Edward that I was the best man for a burglar attack. In a dorm. Right. Well the truth was, I hated sleeping next to a window. I kept on thinking about the tapping ghost or vampire or whatever that was in this movie I'd seen in the 80's called 'Salem's Lot'. I almost wet my pants the night I watched it.
"Eeyore? Of course I like him. He's-"
"No. Not the stuffed toy, Edward. Those girls. Don't tell me you like the both of them!" I covered my mouth in an exaggerated 'OMG'.
"No!" he quickly said. "I don't like any of them. The little one hid the whole time while the taller one gave me this basket of pink tissue rolls. She said it came from the little one."
"I bet you know their names," I touched the bottom of my clean chin and pretended to be suspicious.
But I really was. Edward and girls don't mix. Lots of girls get swooned over him but he doesn't even care. In the end, Jasper and I get the ladies and on some occasions, even Carlisle.
So it was a shock when I realized that the girls came from the dorm room. I thought they were just passing by and I was just being friendly to them. They were pretty. But not as pretty as the blonde angel in the name of Rosalie Hale.
"Yeah. The little one was Alice and the taller one I got to talk to was Bella."
"Alice? Jasper's chicky-poo?" I felt my eyes growing bigger as the seconds tick by.
"Chicky-poo? My chicky-poo? Who?" Jasper asked when he stepped out of the bathroom in an oversized 'I HEART NY' shirt.
"Alicia Keys," I chuckled.
"I only said she looked hot in that video. I don't have a crush on her or anything."
Oh come on! He didn't get it?
"He meant Alice, Jasper," Edward said and pointed at the bag of pink tissues on the desk.
Jasper's head was turned away from us so I didn't get to see his expression. It would have been good ...
Dang.
"I can't believe it. Alice sent me those. That's sweet of her," Jasper gushed.
I laughed at him.
He gave her a Softies box and he gets a dozen of pink tissue rolls in return. Yes. That is sweet.
"It is!" he insisted, as if he just read my thoughts through my expression.
"And Bella said Alice wrote you a note, too," Edward added before standing up and walking over to his bed.
He would mope over a book the whole afternoon again like he always does, most probably.
I stood up next to Jasper as his hands opened the pink envelope slowly and gently.
It was also very frustrating and annoying.
"Give me that!" I tried to snatch from him.
He completely ignored me.
When he the envelope was finally opened, a scented paper was drawn out that made my nost itch.
I sniffed and snorted at the thing.
Love at first tissue, I mean, come on! What was that about? Why do I even care so much? I'm not jealous at Jasper. No way! Why would I be jealous of my scrawny blonde roommate?
"Let me read that!" I shouted.
He just smiled at the paper and handed it to me after he was done.
There were girly heart doodles on the sides and the penmanship was just as girly. There were hearts in places for every dot.
Dear Jasper,
Thank you so much for the Softies you dropped by a little while ago.
You must be seeing the pink rolls now. I know boys don't normally like pink but I'm thinking it would make wonderful bathroom decorations.
Thanks again.
I literally feel so much better now. Are you an angel of healing or something?
(Laughs).
Take care, now.
Heart, Alice.
rosalie's pov
Stupid Alice. Always trying to make me look bad. I bet she and Bella are looking for Esme right now. They would tell her about Emmett the Sex God and they would laugh at me for an eternity. Why me? Why me?
I pouted in front of the bathroom mirror. My whole body quivered as I imagined their conversation up in the teacher's lounge.
"I bet Rosalie's thinking about her Sex God now!"
"Oh, I think she's thinking of a lot of less-than-innocent thoughts. Oh my!"
"Maybe she's less-than-innocent herself!"
"You don't mean?!"
"Oh I mean ..."
No! I'm a virgin! I can't live an eternity of sneering and whooting and teasing. I can't say or hear Emmett's name without blushing. (Blushing). I can't even think of his name without blushing. (Blushing again). Just then, I heard girls talking outside of the door.
"So he wasn't there? You didn't see him at all?"
"For the last time, Alice, no."
I have to get them to forget what I had said somehow. I need a distraction. I need a miracle. I need a ...
I rushed out of the bathroom unthinkingly and fell down on Alice's feet.
"Oh Alice! Please tell me you didn't tell Esme about my little incident back there. Please please please. Please don't tell her. I'll be your slave for another millennium!" I wailed.
"Two millennia," she replied and then burst out laughing. "Really now, Rose, you're mascara's not water proof? Shame on you."
"We didn't go to Esme, Rosalie. We went to bring a gift to Alice's friend. That's all," Bella giggled.
Oh. How embarrassing.
"So no one else knows?" I sniffed.
I didn't realize I was in tears until now.
"No one," Bella assured.
"Unless you want us to spread the news-"
"Alice!" I stood up from the floor and placed my arms on either sides of my waist.
"The Queenbee, the slave, and then back again. That was some fast metamorphosis there," Alice quipped.
"Oh shut up, tiny, and help me with my mascara over here."
Alice chattered away about her blonde boy Jasper again with whom she gave all the bathroom supplies to. Now we were going to have to go to Walmart again tonight. Alice told me about everything. How her master plan worked out. She hid in one of the columns in the Boys' Dormitory Tower, she had Bella knock on Room 20 and give her present. I honestly didn't think of it as so much of a master plan. It sounded crazy even if you mix up the words.
"And Bella met a boy she sort of likes!" Alice teased and patted my face to signal that I was done.
"Really?" I asked and stood up from the couch. "Who was it, Bella?"
"I did not like him," she insisted.
"You didn't?" Alice and I pouted at the same time.
It made us giggle and we tried to poke Bella as many times as possible just to let her spill.
We really poked her. Literally.
"Ah! I can't take it anymore!" she tore the rubber band tying her hair into a pony tail as she struggled on her bed.
We were running around the room just to get hold of her and torture her and it was one heck of a game.
I jumped on Alice's bed and waited for her to spill.
Alice was giving her her full attention now. She sat patiently and I joined her.
Bella was wracking her brains out for something good or else we will have to chase her around again.
"Edward is Jasper's roommate. Jasper was in a bath or something so he answered the door and took the gift for me," she sighed.
"What else?" I challenged.
"Nothing else. We were merely FedEx people. I swear!"
"Rosalie! Get her!"
"Gladly."
And we started running after Bella again and she was tortured until the sun was down.
Author's Note : Hii you guys. I'm hitting the books again tomorrow!? Whoah. As if that's a good thing. And there's another thing going on-I have writer's block (again. dun dun dun.). I just stopped writing for a few days to get my school materials ready and I entirely 'forgot' how to write the next chapter. I'm still trying to work on the fourth chapter, sadly. So don't be surprised if I can't post it next weekend, okay?
Maybe I'll get over the big WB if you send in some reviews? Who knows? Well, that's just a theory. Tell me what you think about this chapter and if you have any suggestions, please PM me. I will reply and thank you all as soon as I can.
You'll be blessed, Neecholettee.