Hogwarts High
By Siriusly Amused

Author's Note: Sometimes, I just really can't write.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter…or…IHOP (although they have excellent pancakes)…Borders…George Foreman or his grill…

Chapter Twelve
A Million Ways

•••Harry •••

I rinsed off my razor, then frowned at my reflection in the mirror. Clean-shaven and fresh from a shower, I looked pretty presentable; however, my hair was starting to dry and in doing so, it was beginning to look like some weird hybrid between a chia pet and a porcupine. I vainly attempted to flatten it with my hand and ended up sighing and glancing down at the vanity where Draco kept his numerous hair supplies.

"I must be out of my mind," I muttered as I grabbed the closest hair gel to me and squirted some onto my hand. I applied it quickly to my hair, and smiled slightly when I saw that it tamed my locks into a nicer, spiky look. Then I frowned and turned my head to the side, my stomach clenching as I saw light shimmer in my hair. Then I looked at my hands and realized that Draco's hair gel had little flecks of gold glitter in it.

"What the hell, man?" I asked, barging into his room unannounced. Draco was still in bed, one arm hanging over the side and curling to the floor, his mouth wide open on his pillow. He lurched awake at my yells. "What kind of guy buys hair gel that has glitter in it?" I continued as Draco blinked sleepily up at me.

For a long moment, I stared at Draco and he stared back at me. Then my brain realized what day it was.

"What the hell, man? It's a Saturday. What are you doing home? Did AhChoo break up with you or something?"

Draco groggily sat up in bed. "Cho," he said, emphasizing the name, "is busy this weekend."

"Doing what?"

Draco didn't answer right away. He got out of bed and stumbled to his closet where he pulled out a pair of jeans and put them on. "Visiting colleges," he replied at last, pulling out a white, button-down shirt and a blue and black striped sweater to wear over it.

"So she's an older girl?" I asked, partly intrigued.

"Sure," Draco replied nonchalantly. He walked out of his room and into our bathroom where he washed his face, then ran his fingers through his hair. The process took all of five minutes, and he looked like a million bucks afterwards.

"Yeah, you wish you were me, Potter," he said, smirking slightly at my jealous face.

I scowled. "You know, Draco, sometimes I think you speak just to hear yourself talk."

"Sometimes I do," Draco admitted casually, turning off the bathroom light and stepping out into the hallway. His eyes locked onto someone over my shoulder. "Hey, Jaclyn."

I turned suddenly, my hands going to my hair in an attempt to hide the sparkles.

"Harry, what the…?" Jaclyn asked, pulling my hands away and smiling at the sparkles.

"It's all his fault!" I said, pointing furiously at Draco. "He's the idiot who bought sparkly hair gel."

"Sparkles are sexy," Jaclyn assured me, giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Yeah, Potter, Sparkles are sexy," Draco reiterated, smirking at me as he headed towards the staircase. "So what are you two crazy kids up to today?" he asked as we all went down to the first floor and headed towards the kitchen.

"I was thinking about doing some Christmas shopping and maybe catching a movie afterwards," Jaclyn replied as we entered the kitchen. "You wanna come, Draco?"

Draco opened his mouth to answer but was cut off by Larry, who was standing at the kitchen island and appeared to be going through mine and Draco's schoolbags.

"Why do both of you print all the time?" he asked in a frustrated manner, flipping through past tests.

"I don't when I'm using my signature," I replied, opening the fridge and pulling out a carton of orange juice that had Draco's name written on it in a permanent marker. I opened it and took a drink, earning a scowl from Draco, who took it away from me.

"Exactly," Larry continued, not paying attention to Draco and I fighting over the orange juice. "I was just going to forge your signatures onto these Christmas cards, but now you'll just have to sign them yourselves."

"Excellent! I love signing things!" Draco exclaimed happily, rushing over to the island and pulling a stack of cards and a pen towards him.

"Why do they need to sign these? They don't know these people," Jaclyn asked testily, crossing her arms over her chest.

"It's just polite," Larry replied with a shrug.

"Yeah, I really don't mind," I assured her, standing next to Draco and signing my name on the cards that he passed over.

Five minutes later, we were out of the house and heading towards my car; Jaclyn appeared to be in a bad mood as she got into the front seat and slammed the door. Draco and I decided not to say anything about it.

"Hey, Potter, pull over at that IHOP up there; I want breakfast," Draco instructed from the backseat. I glanced at Jaclyn to see if she would mind, but she appeared lost in her own world.

I pulled into the parking lot and the three of us went into the restaurant, found a seat and ordered some food. It was only then that Draco decided to address Jaclyn's strange mood.

"Look, we just signed some Christmas cards; it really isn't that big of a deal," he said, smiling up at the waitress as she placed his large chocolate milk in front of him.

"It's not just that," Jaclyn explained in an agitated manner, running her hands through her blonde locks. "It's just…" but she cut off and glanced guiltily at us.

"It's just what?" I asked her, my stomach twisting into a knot.

"Do either of you have bank accounts?" she asked unexpectedly.

"No," I replied at once, although some murky memory of an official looking woman talking to me shortly after Sirius' death surfaced in my brain.

"I did back at Hogwarts Hills," Draco explained, a smile breaking through his features as the waitress brought him his pancakes. "It transferred to some bank here, but I only have about a hundred dollars in it anyway. That's not even enough for community college," he muttered glumly into his food.

"Believe me, you should be able to pay for college," Jaclyn reassured, rolling her eyes in frustration.

"We're not having Larry and Susan pay for our college education," I stated adamantly.

"You shouldn't have to," Jaclyn answered back.

Draco and I stared at her, and she sighed.

"You're orphans," she explained. "You have inheritances." She paused and bit her lip nervously. "And I think Larry's after them."

"What?" Draco and I both asked in hushed whispers. The shock of it all was too much. Suddenly, memories of a drunk Sirius telling me that he had money set aside for me surfaced in my brain, closely followed by that day on the golf course when Larry seemed shocked and disappointed that Draco and I were only sixteen.

"Did you ever wonder what Larry does for a living?" Jaclyn asked us softly. "He's a con-man!"

Draco threw his arms up in agitation. "What is with Harry and I that we attract con-men and murderers?" he asked. "Do I have 'badass' tattooed across my forehead or something? Because, honestly, I wear sweaters and glitter hair gel!" He waved a distracted hand at my still sparkly hair.

"You two are rich and have the potential to become powerful men when you grow up," Jaclyn explained as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "I think that's what attracts them."

"So what should we do?" I asked suddenly, pushing my plate away. "Larry has our signatures and obviously knows more about our inheritances than we do. Do we find out what bank our accounts are at and have them transferred somewhere else without Larry knowing?"

"I have a pretty good idea of what bank has your accounts," Jaclyn announced. "But Larry has friends there, and they'll be on his side. We'll have to infiltrate it to get to your accounts."

"Oh God, Harry and I suck so bad at infiltration!" Draco exclaimed moodily, running his hands through his hair and gazing up at the heavens.

"Jaclyn, how are we going to infiltrate a bank?" I asked.

A slight smile played across Jaclyn's lips. "I know this girl that works there. She's eighteen, not very bright and…" she smiled as her eyes flickered over to Draco, "she likes blondes."

Draco's eyes widened in shock. "Are you going to go lesbian on us, Jaclyn? Because if you are, I totally want to watch."

Jaclyn rolled her eyes. "She likes male blondes," she clarified.

Draco suddenly looked taken aback. "Why are you two smiling at me like that?" he asked nervously.

And that's how Draco went back to being blonde.

•••Tonks •••

I entered the Weasley house through the back door and stormed into the kitchen.

"Weasley, this better be important because I have a lot of grading to…"

"Fix it!" Bill interrupted suddenly, gazing at me with pleading eyes and pointing behind himself to a group of teenagers that consisted of his younger siblings and some brunette girl I didn't recognize. The brunette girl and Ginny were holding hands and giggling, Ron was glaring at Fred heatedly and Fred and George looked amused with the entire situation.

"Bill, I don't understand what's going…"

"That girl is Hermione Granger. Her family used to live here. She's the same age as Ron and used to date him. She's also Ginny's best friend. Her family moved to Colorado a few months back, and she just recently ran away and now she's here and I don't know what to do," Bill explained in a rush.

"Oh, Bill, you are such a baby," I complained, taking a step forward. "Granger, is it?" I asked loudly, addressing the brunette. She eyed me warily.

"Yeah," she replied.

"I'm Tonks; I'm the history teacher at Hogwarts. Tell me, Granger…"

"Hermione," the girl corrected.

"Hermione," I replied, nodding. "Do your parents know where you are?"

Hermione blushed. "Runaways don't exactly tell their parents where they're running to."

The Weasley teenagers began shooting Bill dirty glances as if it was all his fault that I was here, possibly taking Hermione away from them. Bill attempted to make himself as small as possible.

"I don't think it'll be that hard for your parents to figure it out, Hermione," I reasoned. "And when they do, they have every right to come and take you away."

Fred and Ron definitely looked like they were about ready to kill Bill.

"However," I continued, taking note of everyone's stricken faces. "If you call your parents and can some how convince them to let you stay here…Hogwarts has some dorms for students like you. And I'm sure Dumbledore would be glad to have you back."

Hermione nodded sadly and took out her cell phone, hitting a button and holding it to her ear. "Hi…Dad?" she said softly after a moment. "Fine. Listen…I need to tell you something…"

But Hermione obviously didn't want to have this confrontation in front of everyone. She turned on her heel and entered what I was sure to be the twin's room, leaving the rest of us to wait impatiently in the kitchen. Ginny wrapped her arms around herself as if she was about to fall apart, Ron paced distractedly across the floor, George looked like he didn't know what to do with himself, Bill was still trying to make himself invisible, and Fred slumped against the wall.

We could hear Hermione's voice grow louder and more frantic through the walls, and Ron, suddenly filled with determination, entered the twin's room. Several tense minutes passed before Ron returned; he smiled and flashed us two thumbs up, and was quickly followed by Hermione who threw her arms around him, squealing happily.

"Ron, you were great!" she exclaimed, igniting a series of cheers from Ginny and the twins. "I can't believe you stood up to my father like that!"

Ron shrugged. "It was nothing," he mumbled.

"So I take it you're allowed to stay?" I asked, honestly shocked.

"Yes!" Hermione answered excitedly, hugging Ginny. "My parents are going to have my school fax over my records to Hogwarts, and they'll talk to Dumbledore on Monday to work out payments for the dorm and stuff. Oh my God, I can't believe this is happening!"

"Well, you won't be able to move into the dorm until Dumbledore finalizes everything, so I'm assuming you can stay here?" I asked, glancing questioningly at Bill, who nodded. "Great! Well, I'm glad I could help, but I have to get back to grading papers."

"Did you grade mine yet?" Ron asked.

"Your use of passive voice is appalling, Ron," I told him, as I made my way back to the door.

"Yeah, that sounds about right," I heard Ron say as I left the house. I was about to walk to my car when I felt strong arms wrap around me.

"I owe you one," Bill whispered close to my ear.

"You definitely do, Weasley," I replied, leaning into his embrace. "How about you pay for drinks tonight?"

Bill's arms left me as he winced apologetically. "I'm babysitting tonight," he explained.

"Bill, they're teenagers; I think they can watch after themselves."

"Hermione's past relationship with Ron aside," Bill explained, scratching his neck awkwardly. "Fred's been giving her a familiar look all morning."

"Familiar look?" I asked, shaking my head in confusion.

"It's the same look I give girls that I'm attracted to," Bill explained, blushing.

"And what look is that?" I asked.

He smiled shyly, a corner of his mouth pulling upwards as he glanced at his feet. "Have fun grading papers, Dora," he said before disappearing back into the house.

•••Fred •••

"Alright, man, spill," George ordered late Saturday night, once we had pulled ourselves away from the movie that was being played in the living room. He was sitting on his bed and gracing me with a knowing grin. "What happened between you and Hermione last night?" he asked

"George, smell your pillow," I ordered, pulling on some pajamas.

George looked confused for a moment, but he smelled his pillow. "It smells like strawberries," he announced.

"That's because Hermione slept there, and I slept in my own bed. Nothing happened, man. She's our little brother's ex-girlfriend."

"Wrong," George said loudly, getting up from his bed and walking over to me, jabbing his finger at my chest. "She's our younger brother's increasingly attractive and sassy ex-girlfriend, who chose to spend the night with you when she could have gone to anybody!"

I shrugged and plopped into bed. "She found me first, that's all."

"Fred, she couldn't take her eyes off of you tonight," George stated seriously. "There was a movie on TV, Ginny and Bill were having an eating contest, both of those things are highly more interesting that staring at your face. Hell! She could have spent her time glaring at Ron and Noelle cuddling in the arm chair, but no…she kept looking at you."

"So what?" I asked moodily, hating the fact that my twin was so perceptive.

"So, you were looking at her too."

I scowled and rolled over, listening as George changed into his pajamas and got into bed. It wasn't until he turned out the lamp that he talked again.

"Don't worry, Fred. I won't tell anyone."

•••Remus •••

"So I'm thinking about becoming a eunuch," Sirius announced unexpectedly at the breakfast table Sunday morning.

"Probably not one of your better ideas," I replied casually between sips of my coffee.

Sirius quirked an amused eyebrow. "You're probably right, Remus, but I need to find someway to calm myself down. My cabin fever's getting bad, and we know what happens when I go crazy."

"I agree with Sirius," Narcissa announced to my right. "Not about the eunuch thing, of course, but we've been hiding for way too long; it's time we did something. Sirius and I have children out there who are growing up without us."

I sighed and put my cup of coffee down, bringing my hands to rub my temples. "Okay, let's just pretend for a minute that the authorities will turn a blind eye to the fact that we killed a murderer…"

"Which, in all honestly, they probably will," Sirius said. "Tom was on the FBI's most wanted list for the better part of a decade."

"He still has friends who are loyal to him though," I explained as calmly as I could. "And let's not forget that Lucius is still alive and well," I added, glancing at Narcissa.

"Which is all the more reason for me to do something," Narcissa shot back. "Lucius won't leave Draco alone, I know it. And Draco's such a special boy; he needs his mommy."

Sirius snorted into his coffee and Narcissa shot him a disgruntled look.

"Okay, let's just pretend for a minute that I decide to do something with you guys," I said, ignoring Sirius and Narcissa's glaring contest. "What exactly do you guys plan to do?"

Narcissa bit her lip nervously. "I know some people in New York," she explained.

"Who are these people?" I asked, glancing between the two cousins.

"Let's just say that they're like Tom and his men, but they don't like Tom and his men," she explained, a blush rising in her cheeks.

I groaned. "We're going to fight crime with crime. The authorities definitely won't turn a blind eye to that."

Narcissa smirked. "If we do our job right, the authorities won't know about it."

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. "Okay, I'm listening."

•••Harry •••

"I don't like this!" Draco whined for the millionth time as we entered Borders. I glanced back at him to see him running an agitated hand through his newly blonde locks. "I'm regressing to how I was at the beginning of Sophomore year: blonde, cheating on girlfriends…"

I winced apologetically at Draco, realizing for the first time that we were asking a lot of him.

"If you don't want to do it, I guess we could just let Larry get our money…" I suggested.

Draco's face immediately hardened. "No," he stated adamantly. "It's my money, not his; he can't touch it."

"That's what I like to hear," Jaclyn announced, coming up to us and patting Draco on the back. "Okay, she's over in the music section. Brunette girl with bangs. Weird fashion sense. Last I saw her, she was listening to music on the headphones and dancing."

"Gotcha," Draco replied.

"Well, off you go," Jaclyn said, pushing Draco in the direction of the music. "We'll be in the romance novel section."

I gave Jaclyn a disgruntled face as Draco stalked off and she grabbed my hand to lead me to an aisle filled with pink paperbacks.

"Can I move to a more manly aisle?" I asked as Jaclyn picked up a random book.

"Real men stand in girly aisles with their girlfriend," Jaclyn replied, scratching her nose absentmindedly as she flipped through a book.

I groaned audibly and pretended that I didn't exist. Ten excruciating minutes later, Draco returned, looking a bit flustered.

"She molested me!" he announced. "But I got her number and we're meeting for coffee tomorrow," he added. "The things I do for money…"

It was then that Draco looked around at the aisle that we were in. He paled. "Um, can we move to a more manly aisle please?"

•••Hermione •••

By Monday night, I was more or less moved into my new dorm room. I had always known that Hogwarts High had a wing that was closed off to students, but I never realized that the wing held dorms.

I was just putting away some clothes when there was a knock at my door. I opened the door and my heart skipped a beat only to be let down when I realized that it was George at my door and not Fred.

"Hey, Mione," he greeted, entering my room and setting down a large box that he had been carrying. "Bill, Fred and I thought you could use something for your dorm," he explained.

I looked in the box and saw such things as a small microwave and George Foreman grill.

"Oh my God! Thanks so much!" I exclaimed, giving George a quick hug.

George smiled widely.

"I'm glad you're back, Hermione," he said slyly. "Things are interesting now."

I quirked an eyebrow at him suspiciously. "What do you mean by that?" I asked.

His smirk grew. "Nothing at all, Hermione, dear," he replied, heading back out the door. "Enjoy your stuff."

I rolled my eyes at his strange behavior as he closed the door behind himself. After he was gone, I started emptying the box: microwave, grill, some food, and…

My brow furrowed as I saw the flash of scarlet at the bottom of the box. I reached in and pulled it out, gasping when I realized that it was Fred's soccer jersey.

Interesting, indeed.

•••

From: Blonde!Draco
Sent: December 15, 10:44 PM
To: Everyone
Subject!!!

I'M BLONDE AGAIN!

•

From: The redheaded twins
Sent: December 15, 11:00 PM
To: Draco-kins
Subject: Re!!!

Hot!

•

From: Neville
Sent: December 15, 11:01 PM
To: Draco
Subject: Re!!!

Draco,

Weren't you always blonde? I'm confused.

Neville

•••

End Author's Note: I don't consider this my best chapter by any means, but considering how many times I had to rewrite it, I'm happy with the outcome. Anyway, I don't have much time. I need to grab something to eat and then meet up with a friend to catch a movie, but I would really like to say thank you to those of you who have been leaving me some really wonderful reviews! I don't know what it is, but for the last couple of chapters, I've been getting a lot of reviews that say more than the typical, "When are you going to update, woman?" These reviews are greatly appreciated, and are really one of the few reasons why I continue to write this fic, so thank you!

On a completely unrelated note, I hope those of you who are Americans and celebrate Thanksgiving have a happy turkey day! I actually get to celebrate my first Thanksgiving in three years this year, and I'm really excited about it. Other than that, I'm still drowning under a mountain of stress and work. Stupid university. However, keep your eyes peeled for updates around Christmas!

I feel like there's something else I wanted to address here, but I can't remember what.