Chapter 3: The argument
[Luna's point of view
I have trained myself to end the heartache and it worked! I had my day all set on my studies. It was a relief not to think about that memory. I was back to my old self again. The pain didn't work on me anymore and it was a GOOD thing. I couldn't stay sad all my life; it'd be boring.
"(Sigh)"
What a great relief! I was hopeful that it might stay like this for awhile and if it did, I bet myself that my life would have been easier than I thought. I was skipping past the Great Hall when I noticed Harry. He was standing there, leaning against the wall, looking sideways and his arms were crossed on his chest.
"Skip...Skip...Skip...To the left...To the right...And one at a time!" I heard my voice sang in my head.
I skipped past him but reality had struck me that very moment.
"Are you avoiding him?" A voice in my head asked.
I shook my head and stopped skipping. I closed my eyes as suddenly I felt someone held me tight. It had masculine arms from doing training and Quidditch; it had a firm grip too. The hug seemed awkward and bitter but it might be because he wasn't always around to do that. Then, I felt someone kissed my forehead and let its hand stroke my hair. I certainly knew who that person was. He was the only person who hugged me and kissed my forehead whenever we saw each other. He was the person whom I shared a relationship with. He was the one who was always on my side. He was the one who told me that he'd love me until the end. He was the one who appreciated me for me. I pulled away from that someone and opened my eyes.
"Harry" I called his name.
His eyes shimmered in beautiful emerald light. I smiled at him but it turned into a simple frown when I noticed his eyes that showed that emerald light turned into sad green eyes. He flung his arms down and led me towards a corner. I felt his uneasiness because he stood in front of me as I leaned against the wall.
"Are you avoiding me?" He asked in sad voice.
I titled my head and smiled back at him.
"No, why would I?" I asked back.
He looked at me as his hands were on the wall.
"No, YOU are avoiding me. Don't lie to me, Luna" He said.
"I'm not lying, Harry" I responded.
"Then, why did you shut me off? I mean, I was waiting for you outside of your classrooms but you walk past me. I was calling out for you in the Great Hall last lunch but you seemed not to hear me. I walked up to you in breakfast this morning but you ran away. You weren't talking to me for the last couple of days and you ignored me today then you said you're not avoiding me?! What's your problem, Luna? What am I supposed to do now, Luna?" Harry sharply asked out in frustration that he punched the wall near to my head.
He was breathing heavily and he turned away from me. He kicked the wall; that was the first thing he saw. He was frustrated and his anger was getting the best of him. I walked towards him and stopped at a distance.
"Harry, I just needed space to think... I'm not avoiding you... I was preoccupied with things in my head... I'm sorry" I apologised in a low voice, knowing only Harry could hear me.
"Space to think? Think of what? What do you mean, Luna? Was there something bothering you? Did something happen? Tell me, Luna... Was there a problem?" Harry's voice softened at the last question.
He walked up to me and put his hands on my arms and squeezed it gently as our eyes met. Suddenly, I turned away from him as I wrapped my arms around myself.
"There's a problem, Harry... a problem in our relationship" I could barely hear the last part of what I said.
"P-Problem in our-our relationship? What do you mean?" Harry's voice gained its frustrated tone as he stammered his response.
I turned to face him as I felt my eye welling up with tears.
"I needed time to think of what we have, Harry...Please, give me some space" I pleaded softly.
I sensed that Harry's eyes widen in shock.
"Are you going out with someone else?" He asked me in a stern way.
I heard his disgust and frustration gaining as well as his anger. I couldn't answer him because the memory in the library had replayed again and its effect had damaged my control.
"Answer me, Luna! Are you going out with someone else?! Who is it!? WHO?!" Harry yelled out.
I looked down at my shoes, just to hide the tears from Harry. Unfortunately, his hands gripped tightly on my arms as he shook me vigorously.
"Tell me, Luna! Who is the person that you're going out with now?" He called out again.
"Harry, just stop! I'm not going out with anyone. I love you way too much to even go out with anyone else" I reasoned out as he stopped shaking me.
Harry turned to face the wall and punched it out of his frustration.
"That's crap, Luna!" He angrily answered.
"What do you want me to say, Harry? That I was going out with someone when I was just at the library, studying. That I was kissing someone you knew when I had my nose on books. That I was cheating on you when you're the only thing I was on my head. Were those the things you want me to say? Do you want me to say that I don't love you when I really do?" I asked him in a calm voice while I felt my whole body tremble.
There was no response, only the rough silence that dropped upon us. It hurt to hear someone you love say harsh things to you but it hurt more when you tried so hard to explain your reason yet that person didn't want to listen. I noticed him while he covered his fist with his handkerchief for it was bleeding badly. I saw him flinched at the pain. He stood there, looking at me while minding his wounded fist.
"Fine, take your time to think, I wouldn't mind that" Was the last thing I heard him say.
It made me cry more because the tone he used was full of coldness and frustration. He walked away, leaving me there to cry. I slowly walked towards the wall and leaned my head on it as my tears started to fall. It took me long enough to pick up myself. I wiped the tears and took a deep breath.
"Its okay, Luna, you did tell him what you needed. Things will come around as soon as you figure them out" A voice in my head told me.
It was a rare that Harry and I had to argue. We were never used to have huge arguments but this time it was different; it's like those fights Hermione and Ron used to experience where they both were yelling at each other that they had wanted to rip each other apart. Harry was yelling and was so full of frustration. I guess Harry did change even though he told me he wouldn't. I didn't know how much more pain could I bear. Everything that happened to me in the past had all crashed on me in one single hit. I rushed towards the Ravenclaw Common Room, ignoring the people who greeted me along the way as I ran off to my dorm, not wanting to go anywhere else. I threw myself at my bed and pulled the blanket until it was over my head. I didn't even bother taking off my shoes or putting down my bag. I was not in the zone to do so either. Suddenly, the door creaked open as I cried silently.
"Luna, are you okay?" A soft voice of a female a year older than me asked as I heard her footsteps nearing my bed.
I quickly wiped my tears and took deep breaths then, she called out again.
"Luna, are you okay?" This time, her voice was clear and soft because she was standing at the edge of my bed now for all I know.
"I-I'm fine, Trisha. I just felt a little under the weather, though" I mumbled out.
It was true because all the crying had me feel a little dizzy and light-headed. I was not accustomed of lying to someone. I just couldn't lie, it's just was not me.
"Oh! Do you want me to get you anything from dinner tonight? Do you want me to call Madam Pomprey for you?" She asked with concern.
"No, thanks, Trisha, I'm fine. I just need a lie down but thanks anyway" I mumbled out again.
"Okay and hope you'll feel better" I heard her spoke before shutting the door.
After few minutes, I pulled down my blanket until to my chin. It was kind of suffocating under my blanket and I needed some air too. Soon, I fell asleep, not thinking of what had earlier or those tragic memories that kept flashing back in my head.