Disclaimer: I think by this time we've all come to the conclusion that I'm not JKR. I dream I am, but I'm not. Sadly.

5 – Wedding Dances

Lily looked at her reflection in the mirror again. She turned around a bit, trying to find something about the dress that wasn't perfect, but she couldn't find one spot she could criticise. It definitely was perfect.

A young woman stuck her head inside the room. She had a smile plastered in her beautiful face and her brown eyes twinkled.

"You look fine, Lily," Amelia Bones said.

"But, do I look good enough?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Amelia sighed, smiling. "And you'll be the prettiest girl except from Alice. Now come on! The ceremony is about to begin!"

"Fine."

She grabbed a little bouquet of flowers and followed Amelia. She met Alice downstairs. She looked stunning and Lily was sure she'd never seen Alice smile more in her whole life, even though she also looked nervous.

"Don't be nervous," Lily said. "You're just walking down the aisle and marrying the man of your dreams!"

Alice looked even more nervous and her eyes widened. "You're not making it easier!" she hissed.

Lily smirked. "You'll do fine."

A few minutes later the music slowly began to play, she walked outdoors on George's arm. She tried to look straight forward; all the people that were present made her nervous, especially when they looked at her. She spotted a few familiar faces among them all.

The walk to the altar seemed to last forever, and just as she was there a brown pair of eyes caught her attention. James was watching her with a slightly open mouth and a sorrowful look. The tall blond girl stood next to him in a light green dress. His tie matched her dress.

Lily just held her head higher and walked on, not sending James a second glance, but she could feel his gaze on her back and she could almost hear his voice, 'She'd look gorgeous. Sweeping every guy's legs away under it.'

At the altar she stopped and turned just as Alice started to walk down the aisle. She was beaming and looked happier than ever.

When the ceremony ended everyone was led into the garden where the dinner was to take place. Lily had just found her place at the table when a person walked over next to her, smiling.

Lily frowned at the sight; it was that blond girl James had stood with and Lily was sure she'd seen enough of her for the rest of her life. She was just about to turn around and walk away when the woman offered her a hand.

"Hi!" she said.

"Hello," Lily said hesitating and shook the woman's hand.

"I'm Eleanor Potter."

Lily's breath got stuck in her throat. She couldn't be married to James? Could she?

"Potter?" Lily replied in a low voice. "So you're James'-"

"Cousin," Eleanor smiled. "I'm James' cousin. You know James?"

Lily's heart skipped a beat. Eleanor had never been James' girlfriend as Lily had thought. She'd been the cousin whose parents had died in the winter… At that moment she could have jumped up and down or ran a mile, but she controlled herself in the last second.

Lily nodded. "Yeah," she said; it was hard to hide her relief.

"What's your name anyway?" Eleanor asked, smiling.

"Err…" Lily hesitated; she wasn't sure why but she felt so insecure. "Lily… Lily Evans."

Eleanor stopped smiling. Instead she looked frowning at Lily with something a lot like concern in her eyes. Lily hated it. It was the same look she got from everyone when they talked about James in front of her, or when she told them about their break-up.

"You… you're James' ex?" Eleanor asked slowly.

Lily looked away and nodded. "Yes…"

"James has told me so much about you," she said softly. "I've never seen him so much… In love."

Lily's head snatched up. She remembered little bits of beautiful moments she had shared with James, but suddenly, she realized why they weren't together, and the painful images of their fight came to her mind. She restrained a tear from falling to her cheek. "It's over," she said slowly but firmly. "And if you don't mind… I'm really not ready to talk about it."

Eleanor nodded. "Of course. I expected nothing less. After everything you've been through… You should have seen him at the ceremony though… he was lost."

"Please!" Lily insisted.

Eleanor looked down. "Sorry…"

Lily nodded. "It's okay. I'm just not ready, that's all."

She could feel her eyes burning but not a single tear escaped them. Eleanor looked sorry about what she had just said and moved uncomfortably.

"Don't think about it," Lily said. "You shouldn't worry."

"I'm sorry. But after having seen him the whole summer… It hasn't been pretty," Eleanor stopped suddenly, looking slightly embarrassed. "You know what? I think I should go now, before I make it all worse than it is."

Lily smiled slightly as Eleanor walked away. She seemed nice and Lily liked her even though it hadn't been a nice conversation. She seemed like a person who just didn't think twice before speaking, yet she did it in a way that wasn't as bad as if Lily had talked to anyone else.

Lily stood alone for only five seconds when another person walked up to her side. This time it was Remus.

Lily smiled. "Hi."

"Hey," he said silently and kissed her cheek.

"Having a nice time?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It's fine… I like any time that isn't full moon."

Lily laughed silently. "So where're the other Marauders?"

"Err…" Remus looked around. "Sirius is over there… Flirting with Alice's great cousin or something. And Peter couldn't be here. James is… he's over there with his cousin."

Lily watched. First Sirius was flirting with a pretty brunette, and then she watched as James talked to Eleanor. He wasn't smiling.

After the dinner, music started to play. Lily wished it would stop. She was safe in her seat. Next to Amelia and Alice's mother, and a long way from James, it couldn't be better. But soon people started to leave their places. She groaned and closed her eyes leaning backwards.

Next she felt someone close to her.

"Dance?" a voice whispered into her ear.

She opened her eyes. "I'm not sure, Remus. I feel safe here."

"Come on," he said, smiling slightly. "You need to have fun. And what better way is there to do it than with an old friend?"

He got up and offered her his hand. She hesitated a bit before taking it and letting him lead her out into the dance floor. She placed her hand on his shoulder and they started to dance.

"Has anyone told you that you look beautiful this evening?" he asked.

She smiled. "Not someone who looks so stunning himself."

Remus grinned sheepishly. "No need to flatter."

"I didn't," Lily said honestly. "I'm pretty sure you could win every girl in this room if you wanted to."

"Not every girl," he said and Lily raised her eyebrows. "Alice is married now."

She laughed. "Of course. But every girl besides her."

The dance ended and they both returned to their seats. Only a song later, Remus was gone and she was alone. She took a sip of her wine just as someone else stopped behind her chair. She looked up at the smiling face of Sirius.

"Hey," he grinned. "May I ask for a dance with the prettiest lady of this party?"

Lily grinned of his mock seriousness and got up. He took her hand and led her to the dance floor. Like with Remus, she felt safe around Sirius. They were close friends and had been ever since he had helped her out of a very unlucky situation two years ago. He had taken all the blame of the big disaster she had made, which led to two detentions and twenty lost points for Gryffindor.

"The 'prettiest lady'?" she asked, eyebrows raised and a smile playing on her lips.

"Yeah," he said and shrugged. "You are."

"What about your little lady form before?"

"She's not you," he grinned and winked. "And I'll make sure she doesn't feel ignored later."

"And instead you're wasting your time on a silly girl."

"Well. That silly girl just happens to be one of my best friends. I never leave friends in the lurch."

Lily smiled. "Wow. Sirius Black does have soft sides too."

"Of course he does," he said and swung Lily around. "He's friends with Lily Evans. She's taught him everything about being polite."

"And it seams like she's done a great job," Lily grinned.

"Yeah, like talking about herself in third person," Sirius laughed.

"Shut up!" Lily said but couldn't keep a straight face.

Sirius grinned shortly before he turned more serious. Lily knew what was coming at once and that was what she had feared.

"I think you should go talk to James," Sirius said, looking more solemn than ever.

"I don't think so," Lily said and looked down.

"Lily, look at him!" he said. "He's standing in the corner, looking miserable. He needs to talk to you. Even if you shout at him. He just needs to know you haven't forgotten him. He needs to know the Lily Evans he fell in love with years ago is still in there."

Lily forced her head up and looked at James. He was once again standing with Eleanor, but not exactly looking happy.

"I've not forgotten him!" Lily said. "How can I just forget a person?"

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "You know what I mean. I think right now he'd give everything to just know there's a bit of the Lily he fell in love with inside of you. To know Lily Evans has not disappeared. He needs to see you smile or just talk. To know you're not dead and gone."

"I am not dead."

"You get what I mean!" Sirius said sternly.

Lily looked down. She had no idea, but Sirius had some sort of gift of making her feel ashamed, of making her rethink her decisions.

"Sirius, you don't understand," Lily said tearfully. "I can't. I think I might break down right in front of him if I did. I can't face him. I still haven't moved away enough from it all."

Sirius nodded. "I unders-… no, actually I don't understand!" He shook his head. "You're perfect for each other, made for each other. And I think a stupid fight is way too small of a thing to leave each other."

"Maybe I don't," she said softly. "We have talked about this, Sirius. I can't face him. Everything will come back to the way it was and he'll see how weak I am. He'll see I haven't moved on."

"So?! If you haven't moved on, maybe you can move back? Make things the way they were. He hasn't moved on either."

"I don't think I can," Lily whispered; her voice was almost gone.

"I think you can," Sirius said.

Lily hadn't noticed until now that Sirius slowly had danced her towards the exit of the garden where James was now dancing with Eleanor, and suddenly became very aware of how close to him they were. She looked up at him with big eyes.

"Oh, no, you won't," she said.

He nodded and sent her an apologetic glance before he pushed Lily slightly away in the same second as Eleanor pushed herself away from James, and the two young women switched places.

Lily's breath got stuck in her throat and she was sure all colour was drained form her face. Her worst nightmare had become real. She stood in the arms of James.