PLEASE READ!!! Hey. Sorry if my story totally sucks. I'm trying my best to make it the best it can be. But right now, im literally going crazy! And writing is the only thing, other than playing the piano, that calms me down and clears my mind. But you know, I really hate to go through this much trouble to try to show people what i can do and then not get hardly any responses. Seriously, if I don't get more reviews, I might end the story sooner than I planned to originally. I just don't feel like anyone likes it or is reading it. Reviews are the only thing that is pushing me on to writing more. And if you look at other stories, there are only like 5 chapters and 100 reviews! I have 12 chapters including this one and i have about what? 17? That to me is unfair. Maybe I just suck ass at writing fanfictions, or plain writing for that matter. Just give me something to look forward to when I come home everyday from a sucky day at school. Give me some freaking reviews!!! If I don't get more, I am afraid I'll have to stop soon. It's up to you people. Sorry.

Goldilox07

Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 12

Lily's POV

I felt totally retched. Not only had I hurt Jacob, but I had hurt myself too. What kind of person am I that would put Jacob and I in this sort of situation. A sort of situation that puts, not only our trust in each other, but our whole life and relationship as a couple in a disastrous place. What was I thinking? Men were hitting on me this way and that, and Jacob is the only person I want. That I could ever want. He is all I need, and I just about jeopardized that.

When I first saw his face, the possessiveness of it made a chill go down my spine and seep into my bones. He would have beaten the shit out of that man, I have no doubt. And by the look on his face, I could tell he would have swung me over his shoulder and walked me right out of there. But Edward stopped him. Did he know about our stupid plan? Bella had hinted to me that I should keep private thoughts stay private around him. That he could somehow read my mind. At first I had blown it off. But I guess he did know what we had been doing, and didn't want to mess it up.

It was a stupid plan though. It wasn't even a plan if you think about it. It was just something that we could laugh about later. Getting the guys jealous? I mean, don't get me wrong men are hot when they are jealous. It brings out their weak spots. Their faults.

Apparently I was Jacob's weakness, his fault. But I couldn't think like that. Jacob was, is, the best the thing that has ever happened to me. And I'm pretty sure it's the same way for him too. He wouldn't love me the way he does if it was anything less. Imprinting must be more forceful than I had originally anticipated. Just the way he looks at me sometimes, god.

Sometimes, when he looks at me, I feel this flow of dominance come from him. Like testosterone is seeping from his pores. And sometimes I feel like he just wants to throw me over his shoulder and lock me up in his room, for days. Not that I would ever protest about it if he did. He is all I want. And he is by far a better lover than Thomas ever was. That much was for damn certain.

Was I really screwing everything up? What if he never forgives me? He'll always forgive you Lily. My inner conscience said. Your his imprint. There is no way he could possibly NOT forgive you. You know that.

Yes, I knew that. And I could never be mad at him for a long moment. I think the longest I've ever been mad at him was for two minutes. He took away my anger with a kiss. His kisses could save me. Thats how powerful their affects are. I can't believe Bella didn't feel it like that when Jacob had kissed her. A deep flow of anger and possessiveness flowed over me for Jacob. But I know it's not like that between them anymore. I mean, Bella broke her hand by punching him! So she must not have liked it. Which is a better thing for me, now I don't have competition. Good.

When I get home and see him, I will explain everything and apologize consistently until he forgives me and then I will show him passion like he has never seen before. I smiled to myself at the thought. But now was not the time for intimate thoughts about Jacob, it was time for thoughts about how to end the night without hurting my friends with thoughts about Jacob. I need to be focused. Not distracted.

I pulled myself away from my thoughts and looked out the window. We were already in the Italian restaurant and the waitress had just left with our orders. Well, Bella's and my orders. When the waitress asked if Esme, Rosalie, and Alice were eating they had told her that they would just be sharing from ours. Which is plausible. These meals that they serve here are enough to feed three adults alone!

"Lily, your so quiet. Is everything alright dear?" Esme asked. I smiled and rested my cheek on my hand with my elbow on the table.

"Yeah I'm fine. Just thinking." I said.

"Well what would you like to do. Watch a movie here in Port Angeles, or just go to our home to watch a movie?" she asked.

"I would prefer to just go to your home if thats alright." I said. She nodded and thats when the waitress arrived with our food. She smiled and then walked away.

Bella and I had ordered the same thing. Mushroom ravioli. Supposedly the first time she and Edward had gone on a date, well sort of from her description, he had taken her here and she had ordered this. Now it was the only thing she ate when she came here. I just always thought it was good. Perhaps my favorite. But I get other things too.

"It that any good?" Alice asked me scrunching up her nose.

I nodded with my mouth full. I swallowed. "Yes. It's delicious. Want some?" I asked holding up my fork with a speared ravioli on it. Her eyes went wide and she shook her head pushing her body against the back of the booth.

"No thank you." she said. I laughed and so did Bella.

"It's not funny." Rosalie said. "I have tried human food countless of times trying to cover myself and I've had to discard it every single time. It is absolutely mortifying." she said with a shiver. But I was surprised. I though vampires didn't get the heebie-jeebies. I shrugged it off.

"So, back to the boys, what was that back there?" Rosalie asked me.

I shrugged. "It was nothing. I was just surprised to see Jacob there is all."

"Well, he did look amazingly jealous." Alice said. "Now, Jasper, not so much. I think he was just concentrating on getting Jacob to calm down."

"Yeah Emmett wasn't too jealous either. Which doesn't surprise me since what happened back there happens to me everyday." she said.

"Carlisle was just concerned about you Lily." Esme said. "I think we all know that the only person who got jealous was Jacob and for only one person, you."

It didn't make me feel any better about myself. Yeah my stupid plan worked, but only for me. Now I had the butt of the situation. Everything was like a death spiral about to kill me and anything near me.

"Don't worry dear." Esme cooed. "He is not mad at you. He is just protective. Maybe even more protective than Edward is of Bella." Bella made a 'hurmmmmphhh' and rolled her eyes as she ate another ravioli.

"Edward is the most protective person I know." Bella said.

"Yes, but you aren't Jacob's imprint." Esme countered.

"True."

"Can we stop talking about this? Please? I don't want to talk about the boys anymore. Thats all I've been thinking about and I need to have fun. Not think about them." I said.

Everyone was silent and then they all agreed. They could obviously tell that what we had done had bothered me. And it did. They just didn't know how far it had. We ate and they stared. Rosalie had brought on the conversation of what movie we would watch. And they all were gushing over movie titles and hot hunky actors. But all I wanted to do was to forget.

By the time we got back to the house, it was late. Around 11:00 would be my guess. On the way back I had requested a stop at a liquor store. They all had protested but I needed something, anything to take my mind off of him. I had bought a bottle of straight vodka.

The movie that they had picked out, well, I personally think that it is a ridiculous movie. Legally Blond. Not a movie of my choice, but I'll watch it. Not that I'll be able to concentrate anyways. Which was good.

I cracked open the bottle, not even bothering to get a glass. And started drinking my fill. The girls had popped in the movie and it was at the part where the guy dumps the chick for someone else. I laughed and everyone stared at me. I mean, come on! You can obviously tell that the guy is a major prick. Just the way he smiles could warn off the stupidest of girls.

The vodka burned my throat. Every swig of it made me a little more tipsy than I had originally been. A few more drinks and I wouldn't even be able to see the tv screen anymore. The movie past more quickly than I had thought it would. And by the end I was up and dancing around the room. Laughing and twirling like I didn't have a care in the world. I couldn't tell if the girls thought I had lost my mind or not. Truth be told, I didn't give a damn. All I cared about was that I couldn't feel anything and that I was happy.

When I finally finished off the bottle I threw if up in the air and it came crashing down onto the wooden floor and smashed into a thousand little pieces. I laughed and Bella grabbed me.

"Alright, I think you need to go to bed." she said pulling me up the stairs.

"Why?" I laughed. "We were just starting the fun." I said.

"Yes, but I think you really need to lye down." she said.

"Can I at least go outside and get some fresh air?" I said.

She sighed and pulled me the other way. I stumbled and she caught me in an effort to get me out the door. When she did I tripped but caught myself when I hit the porch floor. Then I sat on the edge, my feet dangling off and my side pressed to the wooden pillar.

"Hmm...What a beautiful night." I said. "It's not even cold or anything."

"Yes, it is rather pretty." Bella agreed.

"You know, I haven't been here since senior year. I've really missed Forks. I wonder how Mikey is doing." I said.

"Yeah. I've been wondering if maybe we could talk about that." Bella said.

"Ask." I said.

"Well, did you know that Mike had, and still has an obsession with me?"

"Ha ha ha! Really? Classic." I said.

"Yeah." she laughed too. "And one time, when he asked me out, I felt so bad that I went out with him thinking that we could bring a lot of people but it only ended up on being me, him, and Jacob." she said.

"Jacob went with you?" I asked picking my head up.

"Yeah. He had just turned sixteen."

"Hm. Bella? Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"Have you ever seen Jacob as a wolf?" I asked.

"Yeah. A bunch of times." she said. "Why?"

That was it! I groaned and threw myself up and off the porch. I stumbled a little down the lawn and Bella raced after me.

"Lily! What is it?" she asked.

I laughed and turned around fast on my feet. "You!" I said. "Jacob told me it wasn't safe for him to be a wolf around me. But you, he has an exception for!" I said.

"Lily, he is just doing what he thinks is safe." she said.

"Yeah right. He loves you more than he loves me." Instead of laughing I began to cry. "He doesn't love me." I cried.

"Yes he does!" Bella yelled.

"No." I said pushing myself away from her. "If he did, he would have had no problem showing me himself."

"Lily, this is ridiculous. Your drunk." she said.

"Don't try to blame something else! You know very well that he loves you more than he loves me!" I said.

"Stop! Lily, just stop!"

I turned around and walked in the opposite direction. I didn't need this, Bella was not the person who could push me around. But she raced after me and pulled my arm back. I pulled it away and she yelled for me to come back.

"Lily! This is crazy, just come back. You can't leave!" she said.

"Your not the boss of me! I'm twenty one years old! I can do what ever the hell I want!" I said. Then I began to run I ran to the end of the road and into the forest. Bella chased me but she was far behind. I ran through the forest and hid behind a tree when she tried to look for me.

"Lily!" she called. "Come back!"

But I didn't listen I ran, only stopping to hide behind trees to secure my cover. When she stopped looking and ran back to the house to retrieve Esme, I sprinted into the deepness of the forest until I couldn't even see where I was going.

Nothing could stop me, I smiled and pushed myself further. I was happy with myself. I have finally realized the truth. Ha ha. Yes! Freedom is now mine! I walked...and walked. Not even realizing where I was going. Not until I tripped and hit my head on a rock, did I realize that I had made a mistake. Blood ran from my head and my eyes slid closed.

Jacob. I'm so sorry. I love you. Was my last thought.

Jacob's POV

God, what had I done? Did I do something to corrupt our relationship that she would do something to make me jealous? When Edward had pulled me back I had almost thrown him back into the clothing racks of the next store, but the a sense of calming came over me and Edward shook his head.

That man, the one who had spanked Lily, my Lily, was literally going to die. I would have carried her right out of there if I had had a choice in the matter. I would have rushed over there, punched the guy who had spanked her and grabbed her. I would have taken her home and have had my way with her. But now I know that I would have ruined her girl's night out.

She did look positively sexy wearing that small black dress that went so low you could almost see her...But I couldn't think like that. Not now. The guys and I were having fun. We went to the mall, and saw the girls. Then we went out and did guy stuff. (sorry people. I'm a girl. I really don't know what they did. Use your imagination.)

But when we were in the middle of one of the things we were doing, Alice called Edward. His eyes had widened at whatever she had said and he looked straight at me. Then he flipped the phone shut.

"What?" I asked.

"It's Lily." he said. "She ran away in the forest and she hasn't come back. They've been looking everywhere for her. But they can't catch her scent."

"What!" I yelled. "No!" I turned and blasted off into my wolf and sprinted to their house. Even though I was sill in Port Angeles it would be quicker than taking the Volvo. Edward chased after me and ran along side of me.

"Hold up Jacob!" he yelled at me. "We can search for her together!" I didn't answer but just growled. He sighed and kept up with me. The others finally caught up and where on my flanks. We charged the wind as we headed back to the house.

When we got there my eyes widened. I couldn't even smell her out. I ran deep into the forest and found Bella there. She looked at me with forlorn eyes and shook her head.

"Jacob. I can't find her!" she said. I moved past her not even bothering to growl or bark or whatever and tried sniffing out a trail. I didn't get her scent but I got a faint trail of vodka smell. I sniffed it out until I came across a small trail with her scent on it.

I followed it until it got really strong. I looked around me and then noticed something moving in the bushes. I walked over to it and noticed it was Lily. She had fell and hit her head on a small rock. Her blood was pulsing out and she had tear stained cheeks. I went over to her and she looked up at me. Her eye lids barely open.

"Jacob?" she asked. Her voice very quiet. I nodded my huge head and she barely smiled.

Then she rapped her arms around my neck. I lay down beside her and she climbed slowly on my back and I trotted over to the Cullens. She was so still and quiet and I was scared. Scared out of my mind. What was going to happen? Only time would tell as I approached Carlisle. He had the most sorrowful look on his face I had ever seen.