Disclaimer: I really own nothing. The text I've used is from a song called 'Thank God I Found You' sung by Mariah Carey. Also the characters aren't mine x)

7 – Taking decisions

Lily had left the party right after her encounter with James. She knew James would be looking for her and that was the reason for her early leave. She had barely thrown her shoes off at home before someone knocked on the door. She feared it was James, and let out a sigh of relief when she saw it was only Sirius, but he didn't look happy at all.

"What the hell did you do that for?" he yelled.

Lily took a step backwards. "What?"

"Have you got any idea what you've done to James?!"

Lily shook her head. "No, I-"

"Didn't think?!" Sirius ended her sentence. "That's obvious! His heart is broken and I'm not sure he'll ever be the same again! He broke completely down – which I've never seen him do before – and talked rubbish for five minutes before I began to understand!"

Lily shrank in size at Sirius' words and glares. It was obvious he was mad at her; a thing Sirius had never been before.

"Lily, you're my friend and I love you, but I love James too and he's like my brother and I can't bear to see him like this! And it's all because of you! YOU'VE BROKEN HIS HEART! Torn him up on the inside! Played with his feelings! That's so mean! That's so LOW! I never expected such a thing from you!"

Tears grew on Lily's eyes and slowly started to fall. She felt bad for the way she had acted. And the truth was that she didn't know why she had acted the way she did.

"Lily…" Sirius' voice was now calm again. "You can still make right what is wrong. I'm not sure he'll make it through if this keeps going on. He can't live without you, and I can see you can't live without him either. He's lost without you! He would give up everything for you and what do you do?..."

Lily stopped listening there as it had clicked inside of her head. She knew what she had to do at once. Sirius' words had hit the exact spot.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake Lily, say something!"

Lily nodded slowly. "Okay… leave!"

"I- what?" Sirius said, but stopped suddenly.

"Leave," she repeated calmly. "Leave and don't come back."

"But, Lily! James, he's-"

"LEAVE!" she shouted. "NOW!"

She didn't need to say it again. Sirius was gone the next second; obviously afraid of her. Lily stood alone in the hall for a couple of seconds before she slammed the door and stormed towards her study room.

She searched through all her drawers before she found what she was looking for: a piece of parchment that was torn at the middle. She folded it carefully and turned towards the living room.

She stopped in front of the fireplace, looking into the cold ash. She took a deep breath and grabbed a jar filled with green powder. She took a pinch and threw it into the cold ash that suddenly burst up into green flames. She stepped inside of them and sighed deeply.

"Potter Mansion!" she said with an insecure yet strong voice.

She started to spin around very quickly, pulling her elbows into her body; she had had enough bruises to ever forget to do that. She suppressed the urge to throw up and suddenly she slipped out on a warm carpet. She coughed silently and got up, brushing some ash off her dress.

Then she looked up. It was all dark; apparently James' parent had gone to bed and James too. She took a deep breath before she headed out of the living room, into the kitchen and further into a hall where the door to James' room stood. She laid her ear at the door, but it was all silent. Maybe he wasn't there. She grabbed the handle, sighing deeply before turning the knob and pushing the door open.

She had only been at James' room once before, and that was on one Easter holiday where they had gone to his house for the day and Lily had met his parents. The room still looked the same.

The walls were cream coloured and filled with posters, pictures and Gryffindor banners. Several of the posters had men and women wearing grey robes and riding brooms while flying in and out of them. Over James' bed were quite a lot of big pictures of him and the rest of the Marauders, Lily and other people at Hogwarts, including Victoria and Melanie. The biggest picture was one of James and Lily holding each other, lost in each other's eyes in the middle of a corridor at Hogwarts and surrounded by people passing them. Now and then the Picture-Lily and Picture-James kissed each other and people sent them happy glances. It was taken right after they had started to date.

But what caught Lily's attention was the person laying on the bed. It was James and he laid all curled up, like a cat, with his back at her and staring into the wall. His glasses stood on top of the bedside table. He had not yet taken off his tux, but his shoes did stand on the floor next to the bed.

Lily closed the door behind her and it made a little click that made James turn and look at her. His eyes were slightly red; he had cried. He looked clearly bewildered but managed to push himself a bit up. His hand slowly ran through his hair, making it stand up and get away from his face.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

Lily slowly moved over and sat down at the edge of his bed, looking into her own hands.

"I came here to apologize," she said.

"For what?" he asked rudely. "Breaking my heart?! Humiliating me in front of everyone?! Telling me that you love me and then that we can't be together?!... Because there's no need for that as it happens every day to me!"

Lily could clearly hear the sarcasm and bitterness in his voice, and tears formed in her eyes with every one of James' hard words. She still had her little piece of parchment clutched tightly in her hand.

"Yes…" she whispered, "and for being an idiot who was afraid of love and the only person who could help me. James, I was scared, and when I'm scared I run and hide."

"It really helps me now," he said bitterly.

"I also came to give you this," she said and slowly handed the parchment to him.

He took it and unfolded it. She still looked down and could feel him search for her eyes after he'd read it.

"You're giving it back to me?" he asked, not showing any feelings.

"Yes… well, no," she said hesitantly. "I give you the choice. The two pieces belong to two people. One for each of them who loves the other, remember? Keep my part and say you want me out of your life, never to return again; give me your part and say you want me back and accept my apology."

James looked stunned at the parchment.

"So you don't care?" he asked, looking down.

"Of course I care… That's why I give you the choice. I trust you to make the right decision."

James got up from the bed and walked over in front of his desk, looking out of the window. "I really don't know, Lily…" he said.

Lily closed her eyes, hoping he made the right choice. He stood by the window for what seemed like a long time. For every second, Lily's hope faded a little bit more. After a minute, she got up.

"Okay," she said tearfully. "I get it. I'm going now, James…"

James turned around. He took a long step over to her and grabbed her hands. She didn't feel the parchment in his hand and feared he'd just say goodbye.

"'I would give up everything, before I'd separate myself from you'," he whispered.

Lily was stunned for a couple of seconds before she smiled. James smiled back.

"'After so much suffering, I've finally found unvarnished truth'," she smiled with tears in her eyes.

"'I was all by myself for the longest time, so cold inside'."

"'And the hurt from the heartache would not subside, I felt like dying,"

"'Until you saved my life," James ended the poem, and dried her last tear away. "I love you Lily."

Lily smiled as James kissed her lightly. "I love you too, James."

"And here's your new part."

Lily took the half parchment piece from his hand. She opened it and looked at the words. They didn't make any sense as it was only the last few words from each line of the poem, but along with the piece James had now, it made the poem that James had once written for her. The first thing she did when she had read it was to tear it over at the middle and give one half to him with the words, "As long as we have one piece each, we have a piece of love each."

Lily snapped out of her thoughts as James pressed his lips against hers. Lily smiled widely as she kissed him back and placed her arms around his neck. She could feel his hands around her waist, pulling her closer to him while he slowly walked backwards. As the back of his legs bumped into the bed he slowly turned Lily around and laid her down on it. They broke apart for a second to catch their breaths. Lily studied James' eyes. She had never before seen them filled with such passion, happiness, excitement, love and fulfilled desire, and was taken aback by how a powerful effect they had on her.

As he kissed her again the voice in her head from the wedding was all gone, and she didn't think other things than how much she wanted this guy and no one else. She was where she belonged.