Chapter 2 - Gentlemen Prefer ... Crabs 'n' Things?!

Over breakfast at the local diner, Ray talked about what was going on in the search for Loman. Fraser contributed his insights, but it was obvious that what was going to be needed was a lot of footwork.

"Normally I'd say, let's hit the streets after we're done here." Ray said. "This time I might have to be happy the FBI is on the case, because you gotta take it easy a few more days, Benny. You're looking pretty rough."

Fraser swallowed some painkillers with a glass of water. The pain in his side had been significantly lessened when he'd been otherwise distracted with Meg, but it had returned with a vengeance now. Having part of a rib turn into shrapnel from the bullet that had torn across the side of his body left a hefty dose of bruising and inflammation. In an unpleasant state of affairs, the need to breathe caused a chronic low level of burning discomfort, punctuated by flares of stabbing sensations that radiated out from the center of the damaged area if he moved wrong, which seemed to mean anything more radical than the most gentle of motions.

On top of that, and a seriously minor but nonetheless irritating observation, his stitches were itching like the dickens. It frustrated him to have to concede that he was not in his best master-criminal chasing form. As delicious as the idea was, he doubted he could get Meg's tender attentions on prescription, no matter how much better they were at easing his pain than the little white pills.

"Perhaps I'll be fitter for the job on Monday." he said, with a brooding expression. "Although I hope that the Bureau has picked him up by then. I can't believe that he's gone to ground so successfully."

"The kind of money Loman's got will get you a long way." Ray said, folding his napkin and setting it to the side of the plate. "Anyway, the Bureau agents are already hard at it. I saw one of them read through your statement something like three times yesterday afternoon. If there's anything to go on, they'll find him. 'Course, I figure if there was anything to go on in your statement you and I would have seen it, but at least they're trying."

Fraser was picking at his food and still had the furrowed-browed expression on his face. He answered Ray with a barely attentive "Mmm."

"Don't worry, we'll get him." Ray said. "You know, we always do."

"It's not that." Fraser said. Part of him didn't want to talk about it, but Ray, at least, was safe to open up to.

"Come Monday, when I'm back on active duty, I just don't see how I'm going to be able to continue pursuing whatever it is that I'm pursuing with Inspect- with Meg. As a commissioned officer, she's not supposed to fraternize with a subordinate. It could ruin her career."

"So what, you're considering giving up on her?"

"She said she'd fight for me, Ray. But her career has been everything to her. It wouldn't be fair for me to put it in jeopardy. We could probably hide things for a while, but if it came out, anyone who had a grudge against her could use the knowledge to hurt her. And besides, I don't want to sneak around. You know me, Ray. That would be... " he pressed his lips together, suppressing frustration.

"I can't stand it, these rules are supposed to be there to protect me. I don't want to be protected, but they are what they are."

Ray breathed out through his nose in a sound of irritation. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Benny. Seriously. Remember how there was one time when you were going to throw everything away and get on a train with a known felon who'd just tried to set you up and ruin your life?"

Fraser looked at him with haunted eyes. "I could hardly forget that, Ray. I can't understand why you'd throw that in my face."

"Listen. Listen to me. You were prepared to stop being you for the love of that one. You going to let a few stupid rules stop you in your tracks here? Do you know how many people fall in love with their bosses? A lot, millions, that's how many. If you really care for Inspector Thatcher, isn't it worth bending the damned stupid rules, Benny?"

Fraser considered this, his eyes wide.

"Do you love her? Really love her?"

Fraser looked down at his plate. "Ray, it's too soon to say. Like you pointed out, the last time I fell in love, I nearly threw away my honor, my career, my friendship with you, everything important to me. I'm not ready to let myself go-" He gulped back a strangled sound of emotion.

"But I do know that I care for her deeply. I know that if I let myself, if I-"

He stopped. He'd opened up as far as he could.

Ray comprehended. Fraser was definitely head over heels, but he was scared, clinging fiercely to the illusion of control. Ray wasn't about to take it away from him.

The waiter picked that strategic moment to interject with "Say, you guys want pie? Chef baked a beautiful apple pie this morning, and what could be better for Saturday breakfast?" as he cleared the empty plate in front of Ray and the picked at one from Fraser's side of the table. For all his laconic and generally unsentimental nature, the waiter quite liked the young Mountie with the usually hearty appetite, and it distressed him to see him pale and picking at his food. Pie would fix that.

Ray looked at the amount of food Fraser had left untouched. "Yeah, pie would be great." he said.

When the waiter brought out two plates of pie, Ray said, "Now, I know you're getting tired of me getting in your face, but for god's sake, Benny, eat."

Fraser realized that he was actually very hungry. Ray waited until Fraser had complied, having eaten half of the slice of pie, before he spoke again.

"Okay, so apart from all that, what's on your mind?"

"It's silly." Fraser said. "Meg asked me on a date for this evening."

"And? You got nerves?"

"I suppose you could say that. Ray, she's going to want to go somewhere nice."

"Not the Loose Moose, or Crabs 'n' Things?" Ray teased. "Yeah, she seems like she'd prefer a classy place. I know one or two."

"Thanks." Fraser said. "But I don't own a decent suit, and I don't think, under the circumstances, my dress uniform would be -"

Ray snorted. "Ahh, yeah. Not appropriate, considering." he said. "This is the moment I've been waiting for for years. Let me take care of this! We'll soon have you fixed up." He was grinning in a way that didn't make Fraser feel any more confident.

"Look, would Detective Armani steer you wrong?" Ray joked, trying to put Fraser at ease. "You're planning for a date, not a military campaign. You'll be just fine."

"I don't know, I think I might prefer a military campaign." Fraser said, smiling nervously.

"I mean, what about flowers?" He gesticulated helplessly. "I took a wrist corsage, two actually, I didn't know what color she was wearing, but one would have been sufficient, when I went for dinner with Miss King, and I got the impression that it might have been terribly old fashioned, of course, she thought I was a criminal, so that might have affected her judgement, but I don't know whether a bouquet would be more appropriate-"

"Take a breath, Benny. Thatcher isn't going to stop liking you because you get her the wrong roses."

Fraser put his head in his hands. "It's not the flowers, Ray. She's a sophisticated, beautiful, cosmopolitan woman. I mean, she even went to the Sorbonne! Everything I know about formal etiquette I learned from a nineteenth century library book, and it's not nearly as helpful to know how to perform a quadrille as one might think. She's incredible. And I'm a country boy from the back of nowhere."

Ray gave Fraser the benefit of a long, steady stare before he replied, speaking gently. Fraser was really baring his insecurities today, and Ray trod carefully. As hard as it had been for Fraser to fit in when he arrived in Chicago, Ray had never heard him worry about being from the Territories. Usually it was a point of pride. "A country boy who apparently the lady is crazy about. Stop selling yourself short. What's so much better about us city folk anyway? Don't ever think she's too good for you. Don't be so self-conscious about what makes you, you."

Ray toyed with his fork. "She's really got you tied up in knots. She must be something pretty special." He shook his head. "I hope she's worth it."

Fraser smiled, the expression lighting up his whole face.

"Ray, she's courageous, and smart, and principled. I don't think she's had an easy time of it. The RCMP is still..." he looked troubled, "It still has a lot of institutional chauvinism. I think she's put on a hard shell to keep herself safe."

"And you," Ray thought, "are practically a subject matter expert on putting up barriers between the real you and the rest of the world."

He said, "Well, I'm glad you see all that in her, Benny. I just hope she's good for you."

After breakfast, Ray took Fraser to the only branch of his bank that was open on a Saturday, and then back across town to "this guy I know", in Ray's words, to get a suit.

They walked into the small store in Ray's neighborhood, and a middle-aged man stepped from behind the counter to greet them.

"Ey, cuz!" the man said, coming up and hugging Ray. Fraser surmised that he was another member of Ray's large extended family.

"Hey, how you doin'?" Ray said. "I brought my friend here, Benny, can you believe he doesn't own a single nice suit? Benny, this is Joey, he'll see you right."

Joey looked Fraser up and down appraisingly.

"No suits? This fine specimen wasted on jeans? The yoot' of today."

"Well, actually, sir, most of the time I'm in uniform." Fraser explained. "Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. Pleased to meet you." He extended his hand with a smile, and Joey shook it.

"Ah, a Mountie. That would explain the hat." He waved vaguely at the Stetson in Fraser's hands. "I take it back. Those red suits look pretty good on a broad shouldered frame like yours. But I think we can do better. Have to have it soon?"

"For tonight." Ray said. Joey shuddered slightly, but whipped out a tape measure.

"Well, it ain't gonna be the perfection I usually offer, but we can make do."

He measured Fraser quickly and brought out an elegant dark charcoal grey suit with a single breasted jacket, and a white dress shirt.

"Fitting room's in back. It's a bit cramped."

Fraser came out a few minutes later with a pinched expression on his face and the suit on.

"You okay, Benny?" Ray asked.

"Sorry, yes. My ribs just gave me a moment getting into the shirt." Fraser said in an undertone, not wishing to make a scene.

Joey looked him over. "Mmm, I gotta make a couple of alterations, but..." he made an approving gesture. "Him," he pointed at Ray with his thumb, "My suits make him look a million dollars. You, you make my suit look a million dollars."

Ray snorted and slapped Joey over the back of the head lightly. Then the two turned and had a conversation in an undertone.

Joey turned back to Fraser. "You like it?"

"Yes, it seems very well made." Fraser said.

Joey named a price that seemed extremely low. Fraser started to protest.

"Ray, your friend is insulting me. Tell him to stop insulting me or I won't take his money at all!" Joey said.

Ray grinned. "Benny, stop insulting my cousin. And go get out of that so he can make the alterations."

They went to the florist where a nice young lady helped Fraser pick out a suitable selection of roses, while they waited for Joey to drop the hem on the suit pants and adjust the cuffs to his idea of perfection on the jacket. After they picked the suit up, and Ray approved the tie that Joey threw in "to sweeten the deal", Ray dropped Fraser home to rest up for his big date. He could tell that between the ribs and the nerves, Fraser wasn't feeling too great.

Fraser napped for a few hours with Diefenbaker watching over him, then bathed, shaved, and dressed carefully for his date. He was re-tying his tie for the sixth time when Meg knocked on the door of his apartment.

"All right, be good." he said to Diefenbaker, then took the roses he'd selected out of the water they'd been sitting in and went to meet her at the door. She was wearing a simple black sheath dress that accentuated her slender figure.

"You look beautiful." Fraser said, handing her the half-dozen white roses, edged with delicate red at the tip of each petal. "These reminded me of you." he said.

Meg looked Fraser over approvingly. "And you look very handsome in that suit. Shall we go? My car is downstairs."

The restaurant that Meg had chosen was downtown. When they walked in the door, they were greeted by the maitre d' and seated at a good table. Fraser felt mildly intimidated. The room was very glitzy and chic and full of people who looked like they made more money in a day than a month's worth of his salary.

"This is nice." he said after they were seated. The sommelier approached with the wine list. He passed it to Fraser who froze momentarily. He was expected to select wine? Besides being unfamiliar with this level of fine dining, not drinking put him at a disadvantage.

Meg stepped in. "Excuse me." she said, with a dry smile for the sommelier. "I'll be the host this evening."

The sommelier apologized and took the wine list from Fraser and handed it to her instead. Suddenly Fraser didn't know what to do with his hands. He played with the napkin in his lap for a few moments while she selected a half-bottle of a nice red and a bottle of Perrier for both of them.

They made awkward small talk, and then their waiter arrived with the menus. Fraser was slightly horrified to discover that as she was the host of their party, his menu had no prices. At least the food wasn't too daunting. It was modern American cuisine, even if the menu was in French, and it wasn't difficult to choose something that came down to basically meat and potatoes from among the selection.

Thatcher watched Fraser as he ordered, and observed that he was looking around at the rest of the diners. He was beginning to feel that although Joey had done a lovely job on the suit, it was definitely not up to the same caliber as most of the clothes the other diners were wearing. He felt awkward and out of place. He never felt any shame wearing the uniform, but a cheap suit, even a well made cheap suit, people judged you on that. He wondered if it embarrassed Meg. As the meal progressed and Meg searched around for viable topics of conversation, she realized that it had been a mistake to bring him to this restaurant.

Fraser looked at the beautiful, elegant woman across the table from him and wondered why he'd ever thought he would be good enough for her. Surely, she would be better off with someone who fit into this world, who knew which knife to use (although he was extremely grateful that on the silverware front things didn't seem to have changed too much since the nineteenth century) and who could share her taste for fine wine and high living. What a fool he'd made of himself, daring to think he could be with her. His hand shook slightly as he raised the water glass to his lips between mouthfuls of steak that tasted like dry ash now, and he spilled water on the table. The waiter rushed over to mop it up, making him feel even more gauche and out of place.

"I'm sorry." he said, to the waiter and Meg at the same time.

Meg smiled a tight smile at the waiter, and asked for the check. Fraser's spirits flagged. It was over. He'd disgraced himself in front of her, shown himself every bit the country boy he'd been afraid he would. He cut himself no slack for being on edge and not entirely free from pain or the effects of the drugs that were currently keeping it under control.

Meg settled up quickly.

"I thought we'd skip dessert." she said. "It's a nice night out. What do you say to a carriage ride in the park?"

The thought had occurred to her that if there was one thing that was almost guaranteed to soothe an agitated Fraser, it was being out of doors.

Fraser looked surprised. She didn't just want to drive him home and tell him it had all been a mistake?

"Oh. Yes, if you think..."

"I think we could both use the fresh air." Meg said firmly.

The carriage driver happened to recognize Fraser.

"You want to drive tonight, son?" he said. He welcomed the opportunity to sleep while the younger man did his job for him.

Fraser nodded. He would like nothing more than to commune with the horse. It was impossible to drive well and stay out of sorts, the horse would pick up on his mood. It was a surefire way to get his tumultuous emotions under control.

"All right." Meg said, sitting beside him on the driver's box. "You drive. I talk."

"I-"

"No arguments!" she said in an unyielding tone.

"Oh." Fraser's voice was small. He took the reins and clicked his tongue for the horse to start walking. The park was lovely at night, and he could feel the embarrassment of not fitting in falling away.

"Benton, I've been out with my share of men. Most of them, well, they'd expect that we'd go to places like that one, they'd be at home there and-"

Fraser tried to interrupt, but Meg shushed him.

"They'd be slick, and smooth, and charming, and every one of those men, Benton, had a way of treating me like a piece of the furniture. I know how to belong in those places because I taught myself to like the right things, say the right things, get along. I shouldn't have taken you there. No, not because you're not good enough. Because I'm sick to death of the kind of man who knows how to bribe the Maitre d' to get his date tipsy and pliable. Yes, the men I went out with, they looked and acted like gentlemen, but Benton, what's on the surface isn't what matters. They hurt me. I don't know why I... I wanted to make everything perfect tonight, and I got it all wrong."

She took a deep breath. It was hard to admit that her the highly polished image she presented wasn't all that she wanted to be, after all. She did want to be successful, but not at the cost of no longer remembering how to have simple fun. Always having to keep her guard up, no matter what. Those men had been posing as gentlemen. Fraser might feel lost in a fancy restaurant like that, but he was ten times the gentleman any of them had been.

Meg leaned against Fraser's shoulder. He was very still, only moving to flick the reins and direct the horse, calmly and gently. He moved to put his arm around her waist, drawing her in close to him, lifting the rein over her head so she could scoot in toward him. He continued to drive with one arm around her. She leaned her face against his chest.

"I think I panicked." he said eventually. "I'm still not sure what it is that you see in me, Meg."

"I see a man who is genuinely as honorable as the surface he presents to the world. I see someone who cares about everyone he meets, and who makes time for everyone he meets. I see someone who isn't, generally, ashamed to stand out from the run of the mill. Except, apparently, when I take him on a date." Meg said dryly.

"Oh." Fraser said. She had a point. There was something about wanting to impress her that made him comport himself with far less than his usual self-confidence. But what she said about what she saw in him filled him with warmth and gratitude. Sometimes, with other women who made their interest in him obvious, it seemed like they didn't bother to look at the real him, just the surface. Meg's words and her tone of voice told him that she really did see something inside him that was worth caring for.

They arrived at the entrance to the park again. Fraser reached into his jacket pocket. As he had not paid for dinner, he still had quite a bit of cash with him. He leaned back and handed the driver a substantial sum.

"If you don't mind, we're going to go around a few more times." he said.

The driver grunted. "Suit yerself. Let me down, then." He saw the potential to start his drinking early, he didn't need to take any more customers this night, after what he'd just been paid.

Fraser brought the carriage to a halt and let the driver down, then they set off again.

Meg smiled. So the date hadn't started too auspiciously, but now, curled up against Fraser, under the blanket of the night, it had turned out just perfect.

Author's Note: This chapter makes me nervous! I hope that you like Ray's fairy godfather act, and I hope that Fraser doesn't seem too much of a mope. He's doing his best, darn it! Thank you for reading, and thanks to the lovely people who reviewed! I love to hear your thoughts! Stay tuned for Chapter 3, coming soon.