A/N: It's been a few days, but here it is! I'm kind of iffy on this chapter, but tell me how you like it!
DISCLAIMER: Anything that sounds even a bit familiar does not belong to me. I'm not creative enough to come up with my own stories, so I just add to others'.
NOT ALWAYS GOLDEN
Chapter Three: Security Blanket
A half an hour later, I was in my study, head in hands. Thirty minutes later, and all I had accomplished in my speech was a single word, "Narnians." It wasn't much, but I had no prior experience of composing speeches. When Oreius had told me of this task, it seemed simple enough, but now his instructions appeared to be vague and unmanageable.
I decided I needed some inspiration. Quill, ink bottle, and parchment in hand, I sent out to roam the castle until I founded what I needed. I knew I would get lost, but, for some reason, I did not care too much.
The interior rooms, despite their vastness, felt cramped and stuffy to me, so I went outside. A beautiful, nay, magnificent garden was set just beyond the back terrace. A meager word floated through my mind: perfect.
I immediately took a seat on one of the two wicker chairs and looked round. The garden was small, no greater than twenty feet square, and it wasn't exactly a food-bearing garden. Tall, weeping crimson-red blossomed trees enveloped this patio, making it seem secluded and like a sanctuary. Dark, earthly colored stones made the floor. Only three pieces of furniture made up this garden: two wicker-backed chairs (one of which I was sitting in) and a corresponding wicker table. A sweet scent drifted in the air. Examining the trees more closely, I noticed that they weren't just regular trees, but fruit-bearing ones. Berries, identical in color to that of its leaves, were grouped in bunches throughout.
Knowing this unwise yet still doing so, I plucked one berry from its branches. Biting into it, I figured I had not tasted something as nearly as delicious before in my entire life. The fruit was sweet but managed to be tart at the same time. It was whole and filling. I suspected it too great of a treat that I didn't think I could handle another one. Supposing the berry wasn't poisonous, I continued my inspection of the garden.
From the way the floor was littered with tree debris, I figured that this garden hadn't been used in a while. I quickly cleared these away, and it was suddenly quite cozy.
Satisfied with my new (and, hopefully, secret) haven, I set down to do my wretched work. For the next countless hours I worked on my so-called speech. Finally, as I composing the final part, I heard a distant, panicked yelling.
As the person (or creature, for all I knew) got closer, I heard, "High King! High King Peter!"
Picking up my supplies, I quickly stepped out from underneath the Fireblossom branches (for that is what I named the trees).
The far-off, frenzied screaming became more audible. "High King Peter! Where are you? High King! High King!"
A gruffer, familiar voice overpowered that of the first voice. "Peter Pevensie! Get your ruddy self over here!"
I slightly jogged in the direction of the voices. On the back terrace, I saw an anxious Dryad and a red-faced Edmund.
"What's going on?" I inquired, a bit alarmed.
"Well," Edmund declared, turning towards me. "It's about bloody time! We were about to call the Royal Guard to warrant a search party."
"Hey," I responded. "Watch your mouth."
Edmund rolled his eyes but said nothing.
"I was just working on my speech," I defended myself, holding up my quill and parchment.
"And hiding doing it?" Edmund mumbled.
"No, I was in the place where I was best able to work. My apologies, dear Dryad, for your worries."
The Dryad smiled shyly, curtsied, and left.
"Anyway," Edmund said, his irritation rubbing off. "I've come to collect you. Avas has set what you are to wear in your wardrobe, then we are to 'present ourselves to the Narnian citizens.'" His voice, at the end, was mocking whoever said it to him, and I laughed, for Edmund was quite good.
"Alright, then." I grinned devilishly at him. "First one there wins."
I took off, Edmund following when the meaning of my words sunk in. I was tearing through the hallways and under the archways.
Suddenly, I skid to a stop, nearly plowing into Susan. Edmund, unaware of my abrupt stop, collided into the back of me. Laughing hysterically, I fell to the ground, Edmund rolling off of me to the floor. I looked up, and Susan stood there, glaring scornfully at the two of us.
"What?" I asked innocently.
"Oh, Peter," she said disdainfully. "One would think you two would grow up."
"Oh, cork it, Susan," Edmund spoke up. "We're just having fun."
"Well, fun will have to wait until later. You two need to clean yourselves up. We are due at the front veranda in promptly thirty minutes."
"Any chance of grabbing a quick bite beforehand?" Edmund asked hopefully, rubbing his stomach.
"Boys," Susan muttered, rolling her eyes. "Always thinking about food."
Edmund shrugged, I half-heartedly laughed. The mention of the upcoming event put my stomach in knots. I skimmed over my poorly written speech again.
"C'mon, Pete," Edmund called, already halfway down the hall. "We haven't got all day."
"You're telling me," I mumbled.
Edmund and I parted ways; I to my chambers and he to his own.
It didn't take me long to find my clothes for this "special" occasion. As I dressed, I rehearsed my speech, making myself so familiar with it that I would obliterate each and every stutter and mumble that might occur. For the first time since this morning, I was feeling quite confident in myself.
All too soon, Oerius appeared at my door.
"It is time, My King," he said, bowing. I nodded hastily, checked to see if I still held the parchments which I had written my speech on for the utmost time, and walked out into the hallway. I waited patiently as Oerius knocked on each of my sibling's doors.
We walked throughout the halls, Oerius leading, attracting many stares and bows as we passed, wearing our best. No one of talked, least I, who, I thought, had the most reason to be nervous. Lucy's hand slipped into my mine. I half-smiled at her and gave her hand what I hoped to be a comforting squeeze.
Oerius stopped at the front terrace, us following suit.
"Are you ready, my Kings and Queens?"
We all nodded nervously. I let go of Lucy's head, using it to grasp Rhindon, which hung at my side. I took a deep breath. Now was the time.
Oerius stepped out onto the marbled patio.
"Citizens of Narnia!" The crowd immediately hushed. "Your Royal Monarchy!"
Great applause erupted from the Narnians, and I stepped out into the dazzling sunlight. Susan, Edmund, and then Lucy followed, but the sight was too remarkable for me to notice. It seemed all of Narnia had come for this. I looked down at them from five stories up. Creatures I did not even recognize stood among the spectators. Though the cheering was supposed to be out of appreciation and respect, to me, it only resembled jeering.
The taunts and heckling before a match of dogs, I thought. That's what they are. They are thirsty, thirsty for the nervous sweat that no doubt has broken out on my brow. They want me, nay, expect me, to mess this up.
These foolhardy thoughts sucked out all ounces of confidence from within me. I heard, as if from a long distance, Oerius announcement:
"And now a word from High King Peter!"
I audibly gulped, frozen to the spot. If my feet were not bolted to the floor I would've fled. Susan's hand reached and gently grasped my shoulder. That was the support that released my feet from its bondages.
Taking a shaky breath, I stepped up onto the podium, placing the three sheets of parchment on top of it. Oerius gave me an impatient yet encouraging look.
"Narnians!" I shouted. In response, the cheering started up again. I put up a hand to quiet them.
"Your brothers, fathers, uncles, nephews, friends, or even you may remember me on the battlefield as Sir Peter the Wolfsbane, as knighted by Aslan. But, today, I come to you, not as a knight, not as a meager man, but as co-fulfiller of the prophecy and one who sitteth on one of the four thrones in the Throne Rome of Cair Paravel. I am, as dubbed by the tip of the Great Lion's tongue, High King Peter, the Magnificent." I paused for a moment, because, as the norm when I am nervous, my words were running together and were beginning to slur.
"I would like to present you my brother, King Edmund, the Just. I would like to present you my sisters, Queen Susan, the Gentle and Queen Lucy, the Valiant." As each of my siblings' names were called, they shyly stood from their seats.
"Though we seem of tender years," I continued on. "I ensure you that Narnia is in great hands. We may not have the experience of governing an entire country, but, the Great Lion, the invincible Aslan, has granted us maturity, understanding, and abilities that are usually unattainable by some of our ages.
"And –"
At the moment, to my complete and utter horror, a breeze picked up from the sea. I had been presently clutching the sides of the podium in a vice-like grip and could not prevent the wind as it took hold of my papers and lifted them up into the air.
I watched on in silent shock as the greedy current of air kept hostage of those papers – my lifeline, my only hope of making through this speech alive – and sent them into the dark and mysterious forest.
Now, a great speaker would've kept talking, ignoring the fact that his notes were no longer there. I, however, could only stand, dumbfounded. I was stunned, and too taken aback to even remember the rest I had planned to stay.
My mouth opened and closed freely, though no sound was uttered. Everything was in a tensed hush. I groped through my brain to find something – anything – to say, but there was only fog. I turned to my siblings. My sisters' mouths were shaped in a slight "o" of pity, and Edmund was openly wincing at my discomfort.
"Thank you," I finished weakly, a feeble and awkward applause following.
I was burning in shame. I took my seat, my undeserved seat. Susan sympathetically rubbed my back.
Oerius, looking as pained as I felt, regained the stand. "Thank you, my fellow Narnians, for coming here today. Now, to the Royal Monarchy of the Great and Powerful Narnia!" He started a mildly enthusiastic applause.
Afterwards, I stood next to Edmund, Susan, and Lucy at the castle gates, shaking hands (rather, hooves, paws, and what not). Many gave me pitied looks, which I loathed. Susan and Lucy tried to be cheerful, while Edmund remained sullen, ashamed of me, no doubt.
I plastered on a false smile for a group of Foxes who came in line next. When they came up to me, I let out my hand. Both Foxes visibly recoiled as far as creaturely possible away from me, all the while muttering, "We're doomed."
I managed to mutter "thank you's" to the rest of the procession, though I was too miserable to sound cheery. As soon as the last Bear left, I dashed away from my family, wanting only to be alone.
My feet led me to my sacred spot, my hideaway. I nestled in between the trees, resting my head in my hands.
It wasn't that I made a fool of myself. That I could deal with. Aslan's advice, which had given me comfort before, felt distant now. Worthlessness filled me to the very brim. My own lieges did not have faith in me.
Some great King I am, I thought bitterly. Though they threatened to do so, I did not let the tears break free. Holding in this bothersome emotion would allow me to cling to the only amount of integrity I had left.
I sat there, for who knows how long, staring at the ground. I jumped when I felt a warm hand on my back. Susan looked down at me, Lucy and Edmund behind her.
I sighed heavily, letting Susan start the talking that undoubtedly was to come.
"It's okay, Peter," she soothed. "It was your first time."
I shook my head stubbornly.
"Peter," Lucy said, kneeling beside me. "We're all allowed mistakes. The speech was actually pretty good until…"
"I'm worthless," I whispered, not at all caring how childish I sounded.
"Oh, do stop your sulking!" Edmund exclaimed. I looked up surprised, for he was one to talk. "You did a bloody better job than I or any of us could've done under the circumstances. Who cares if you messed up?"
"Language, Edmund," Susan warned, making Edmund roll his eyes.
"These two Foxes," I continued, needing to get this out of my system. "Wouldn't even look at me! They think me as unworthy, I know it."
"Oh, Peter," Lucy said, resting her head on my shoulder. "I don't think you're unworthy. And, neither did Aslan. You're going to get better at this, and you're going to like it. I know it."
I smiled, admiringly, down at her. "I suppose you're right, Lu."
"Of course she's right!" Ed cried, exasperated. "Now, let's get some lunch. I'm starving."
Lucy grabbed me by the hands and pulled me up. All four of made our way back to the castle, the other three's minds probably dwelling on lunch. Mine, however, was fixed on other matters.
I could never imagine life without my siblings. They were my security blanket. I had never had to fear of a hard fall whenever I reached out, because they were always underneath me, ready to catch me if I fell. Though Susan seems too scornful, Edmund, too irritable, and Lucy, too innocent, I know they mean well.
Even though I was still embarrassed by the day's events and could not help but feel a little inadequate, a small warmness glowed inside me.
Oh, Aslan, I prayed.