The second chapter is complete! And here it is! Amazing…
Anyway, the same warnings for the first chapter go for this one as well. And I still don't own Naruto.
There's some OOC-ness and Sasuke-bashing… So, yeah.
Okay, so this chapter has more humor and insanity in it, because I wrote most of it in the middle of the night while high on oranges and coffee, so… yeah. You have been warned.
ON WITH THE FIC!
………………………
Shikamaru hated shopping. No, he loathed it with every fiber of his being. But his mother and, surprisingly, Naruto loved it. And that's why he was currently being dragged from shop to shop by Naruto and Yoshino, the latter saying the former needed new clothes. Even Shikamaru could see that; the blonde was still borrowing his clothes, the orange and black jumpsuit being burnt by Sasuke and others being either too small or simply ruined. Still, the genius couldn't see why the two needed him. So troublesome... Maybe if I simply lay down somewhere they'll leave me alone...
But, after looking at Naruto, he knew he couldn't do it. The blonde was smiling and laughing as he talked to Shikamaru's mother, truly happy. He had been rather sad the last few days. Having to stay in bed most of the time because of his chakra depletion left him rather restless and even the brief walks outside with Shikamaru's help only cheered him up for a short time. So walking on his own after almost 6 days was a great relief for Naruto.
Still, even after six days, the blonde was stumbling occasionally and needed lots of breaks. His chakra system was still pretty much fried and would take a longer time to heal. Using even the smallest amount of chakra, even for healing wounds would hurt him badly. The damage to his chakra coils would have to heal naturally.
Shikamaru sighed as another shop owner threw them out. Even after almost 18 years they still can't see the difference between Naruto and Kyuubi... Idiots. The brunette frowned as Naruto stumbled again and caught him from falling to the ground. The blonde smiled up at him thankfully, blushing slightly at his own clumsiness.
"Maybe we should go eat somewhere? It's almost lunch time," Shikamaru suggested.
Naruto smiled brightly and looked at him hopefully, "Ramen?"
The brunette snorted and smiled. "Sure, we'll go get ramen,"
"YAY! Ramen!" Naruto started bouncing slightly, not jumping around in joy as he usually would. Yoshino smiled: she found out about the blonde's love for ramen during that first breakfast together. The blonde talked about it like it was air, essential for life and with a God of its own.
The three started walking towards Ichiraku, talking all the way. Well, Naruto and Yoshino were talking, Shikamaru was simply commenting occasionally. They walked for about ten minutes, Naruto stumbling several times and Shikamaru catching him each time. Neither of them minded, really, but Shikamaru got annoyed with having to jump every time the blonde stumbled and had put his hand around Naruto's waist after the third time the younger teen almost fell.
At Ichiraku's Shikamaru and Naruto saw several of their friends, most of them, actually. The only ones missing were Sai, Sakura and, obviously, Sasuke, who was still in jail. Even Iruka and the jounin teachers were there, having lunch with their ex-students. Before they were noticed, Shikamaru took a look around. The teachers were sitting in one corner, talking about something no-one really seemed interested in. The others were sitting behind the counter, somehow managing to fit.
Shino and Hinata were sitting the furthest away from the entrance, talking quietly; Ino was nagging on Kiba next to them, Akamaru lying near his owner. Neji was sitting between Kiba and Tenten, staring at the ceiling and looking extremely bored. Lee was yelling something about youth to Neji, standing in front of the teen with a bowl of ramen in one hand and chopsticks in the other. Chouji sat next to Tenten and was one of the few actually eating, occasionally saying something to Tenten.
The first one to notice Naruto, Shikamaru and Yoshino was actually Akamaru. The dog lifted his head and stared at the blonde teen standing at the entrance before barking loudly and jumping up. He bounced towards Naruto happily and, after reaching him, licked his face. The blonde giggled and hugged Akamaru.
"I'm glad to see you too, Akamaru!"
By then, everyone else had finally noticed Naruto and most of them were crowded around him, the only ones still sitting Shino, Kurenai and Neji. Iruka was the first to reach him and hugged him tightly, rambling about how worried he had been.
"Ack! Iruka-nii-san! I can't breathe!" gasped Naruto. Iruka let go of him, blushing slightly.
"Sorry, Naruto. I'm just so glad to see you! Where have you been?! What happened?!"
"Well, I- OOF!" the blonde didn't manage to finish his sentence because two green blurs attacked him. And then hugged him so tightly Naruto was afraid he'll be turned into mush.
"NARUTO-KUN! YOU'RE BACK!" yelled green blur number one, also known as Lee.
"YOSH! The Flames of Youth have been re-ignited in Konoha!" green blur number 2, known as Gai shouted. Hey, he doesn't have to make sense, okay.
"G-Gai-sensei… that was beautiful." Lee said, wiping away tears.
"Oh, LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
They kept yelling and hugging for some time, tears streaming down their faces and a sunset appearing behind them. People just decided to take several steps away from them.
The next to hug Naruto was, surprisingly, Hinata. She stepped in front of him and gave him a brief but strong hug. People were amazed. Usually when Hinata saw Naruto she would blush and faint.
"I'm glad you're back, Naruto." Hinata said. People stared. She didn't stutter! She actually talked to Naruto and didn't stutter! Is the world coming to an end?! That went through the minds of most people at Ichiraku's.
After of about a minute of staring at Hinata, Kiba stepped up and gave Naruto a manly hug. That snapped the others out of their daze and the next to give the blonde a hug were Tenten and Chouji. After that came Ino who started ranting about how thin Naruto was. The blonde boy blushed and muttered something that no-one heard. Kakashi just ruffled Naruto's hair, which made the teen glare at his ex-sensei.
When Naruto looked towards Shino, the older teen just nodded at him and Naruto grinned, seeing the small smile that graced the bug-boy's lips. Neji wasn't even hiding his relieved smile and Naruto was glad. He really should smile more often.
Kurenai was also smiling and waved at Naruto when the boy looked at her. At that point, Ino decided to drag Naruto and Shikamaru into some chairs at the middle of the counter. The others were talking excitedly and sat down near Naruto, taking some chairs from the nearby tables. The teachers chose a table nearer to their ex-students and Yoshino joined them. After everyone had ordered some ramen, the questions began.
"Naruto, where have you been?!" it was Ino. Everyone else leaned towards Naruto slightly, eager to hear what Naruto had to say.
"Well, I-" he was interrupted by Akamaru barking. The blonde boy froze and stared at the dog, a small blush on his cheeks. Kiba was also staring at Akamaru, mouth slightly open. The others were just confused.
"Akamaru! That's not true!" Naruto yelled, embarrassed. Kiba was still staring and the others were still confused.
"What did Akamaru say, Kiba-kun?" Hinata was the one to stop the awkward silence, her quiet voice heard better than usually.
Kiba blushed. "He said that Naruto and-MPHM!" Naruto had shot forward and covered Kiba's mouth with his hand, staring at the older teen pleadingly.
"That's not true so please don't tell them!" Naruto whispered, still holding his hand over Kiba's mouth. The brunette pulled the hand covering his mouth away and when the other one shot forward he grabbed that too, holding them by the wrists in one hand. Kiba leaned forward slightly and sniffed the air around Naruto.
"Akamaru's right. His smell is all over you." He smirked slightly after seeing Naruto's blush. Just when Naruto was about to reply, Akamaru barked again. Kiba froze and paled, staring at the huge dog. Naruto still had a slight blush on his face as he looked at the white canine, mouth slightly hanging open.
"No way." The blonde muttered, looking at both dog and master. When Akamaru barked again, he seemed to have a smirk on his face. (A/N: If dogs could smirk.) This time both Naruto and Kiba froze, staring at the big dog. A second later the blonde was on the floor, laughing his ass of.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" he yelled at the laughing blonde, who stopped laughing, looking serious, and nodded. A second later he cracked and was laughing on the floor again, clutching his stomach. Kiba turned away from Naruto to yell at his dog instead.
"You're killing me here!"
Everyone else around the two teens and dog were very confused, not understanding what Akamaru was barking about. Naruto, it seemed, was trying to say something but failed amazingly. Kiba pulled the laughing blonde up by the front of his shirt and glared at him.
"If you tell ANYONE, I'm going to tell everyone your little secret!" the brunette growled. Hearing that made the blonde smirk and whisper, "I don't really care."
Out loud he yelled, "Akamaru told me Kiba is a g-ACK!" after hearing Naruto speak Kiba shot forward and covered Naruto's mouth with his hand. Naruto glared at him and Kiba muttered, "If you don't tell them I'll give you doggie biscuits."
Naruto blinked in shock. What the…? Doggie biscuits?! Went through the minds of most people around the two arguing teens. Naruto struggled slightly to pull Kiba's hand off and glared at the brunette.
"I told you: I did NOT eat those doggie biscuits! It was you!"
"No it wasn't! Your scent was all over the package!"
"So was yours!"
"That's because I owned the damn things, moron!"
"… I still didn't eat the doggie biscuits." The two arguing teens glared at each other for some time before turning away from each other and crossing their hands on their chests. They stood like that for about five seconds while the others just thought, Maybe we should call the insane asylum?
Suddenly, Kiba and Naruto twisted around to look at each other and yelled at the same time, "OKAY! I ate the doggie biscuits!"
There was silence for a second before everyone burst out laughing. Even Shino and Neji chuckled slightly. Naruto and Kiba stood in the middle of the laughing crowd, blushing and glaring at each other.
"Akamaru says Naruto and Shikamaru are a couple!" "Akamaru said Kiba is a cross-dresser!" the two yelled together. Everyone stared at them and Shikamaru, all three teens blushing.
"So… Is it true?" Tenten asked, looking at the three curiously. This is better than a movie!
"No! Maybe… Yes!" Kiba, Naruto and Shikamaru said at the same time. Chouji coughed.
"The talking in sync thing is getting kinda creepy." Everyone else just nodded numbly, too shocked to speak.
Shikamaru just looked at everyone. "So… you don't mind? Me and Naruto being together, I mean."
Everyone snapped out of their daze after the brunette spoke and started congratulating the new couple. Shikamaru and Naruto smiled, but the blonde still had to ask, "So, you don't mind?"
"Why would we mind? I think it's hot!" Ino yelled and several people turned to stare at her. Yoshino grinned and walked towards her. "I know! It is, isn't it?!"
The two started talking about a Yaoi fan club and Shikamaru was certain he heard the word photos somewhere. He shuddered when he thought about the amount of damage his mother and Ino could cause. Troublesome women…
As soon as everyone finished congratulating Naruto and Shikamaru they turned towards Kiba, who had been trying to escape. As soon as he saw people staring at him, he flinched and froze, staring at everyone in horror.
"Soo… Cross-dressing, huh?" it was Kakashi and he appeared to be smirking.
"Shut up…" Kiba muttered, staring at the ground. He sighed; At least he didn't tell them about me being gay…
"AH! What bravery it took for Kiba-kun to admit it! THE FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHT WITHIN YOU!" Gai yelled loud enough for it to be heard in the Hokage tower, where Tsunade shot up yelling, "I'm awake!" and stared at the window. What the Hell was that? She soon simply shrugged it off and slumped on the desk again, falling asleep almost immediately.
Back at Ichiraku's, Gai and Lee were hugging each other again and Kiba was trying to get his breath back, having been hugged by Gai too. He stared at the two green clad shinobi and was amazed at how strong they actually were. I think he broke one of my ribs…
After taunting Kiba for some time, the mass of people at Ichiraku's turned towards Naruto and Iruka finally asked him the questions he had been fearing, "Where were you? What happened, Naruto?"
Naruto whimpered slightly and shrank in his seat. Shikamaru saw that and moved closer to the blonde, putting one arm around his waist. The younger teen leaned slightly towards the brunette, closing his eyes and resting his head on Shikamaru's shoulder.
"You don't have to tell us if you don't want to." Iruka said, worried at what his 'little brother' would say.
Naruto's eyes shot open and he sat up quickly. "NO! I… I want to tell you. It'll make me feel better… I hope."
He took a deep breath and returned to his relaxed position on Shikamaru's shoulder. Exhaling and taking another deep breath, Naruto told them everything. He had his eyes closed the whole time, but had they been open he would have seen the tears in the women's eyes and the rage in the men's. When he did open his eyes he smiled sadly. People cared.
Suddenly he grinned and turned around on the stool to face the counter.
"Old man! One miso ramen, please!" he yelled. Teuchi smiled and went into the kitchen to prepare the blonde's ramen. The people around Naruto stared. How did he get over it so fast?
Iruka sat next to him and asked, slightly afraid of the answer, "Naruto… Are you okay?"
Naruto blinked up at him innocently and smiled. Iruka was glad to see it was a real one.
"Of course I'm alright! It's in the past, Sasuke's in jail and I have Shika. It still hurts but… I know that no-one will do something like that to me again. And I still have my friends! That's all that matters." He was smiling when he finished and several of his friends had smiles as well. Iruka stepped forward and hugged Naruto. When he let go of him he happened to glance at the clock behind the blonde.
"Oh shit! I'm late! Class started 15 minutes ago! Got to go, bye!" Iruka yelled and ran out of the ramen shop. Several others ran out too after realizing that their lunch break was over. Even Kakashi shrugged and calmly walked out. After a minute the only ones left were Naruto, Shikamaru, Yoshino, Shino and Neji.
When Ichiraku's was empty, Shino went towards Naruto and gave him a quick hug, walking out without saying a word. Naruto smiled and shook his head. That guy…
Neji was next; he gave Naruto a longer hug and whispered in his ear, "I'm glad you're back, Naruto."
Naruto hugged him back. "I'm glad to be back, nii-san."
Neji smiled and left Ichiraku's to go back to guard duty. Yoshino, Naruto and Shikamaru stayed at Ichiraku's for ten more minutes, finishing their ramen. After paying the bill they left to find a shop that allowed them in. Half an hour later they reached a shop that was owned by an older couple that had no grudge against Kyuubi and therefore let them in. They had been shopping for fifteen minutes before Naruto realized something.
"Damn! I forgot my wallet at Ichiraku's. Hey, I'll go and get it, you keep looking for clothes. When I come back I'll try them on, okay?" Yoshino and Shikamaru agreed, even if the latter was reluctant to let him go alone ("I'll be fine, Shika, don't worry.")
Ten minutes later Naruto was already on his way back to the store Shikamaru and Yoshino were. Deciding to take a shortcut through an alley because of the crowds, he turned left at the right place and walked calmly through the dark but short alley. Halfway through, Naruto heard a sound and twirled around quickly, only to see nothing.
"I must be imagining things…" he muttered and turned around to continue walking, only to smash into something and falling to the ground. He looked up and paled.
"Sa-Sasuke…" Naruto whispered, slightly scared. (A/N: You hate me right now, don't you?)
"I thought you were in jail." The blonde could feel he was shaking slightly, yet couldn't stop.
"I was in jail… I broke out. They underestimated me." Sasuke was smirking evilly as he stared down at Naruto. He hauled the younger teen to his feet and punched him in the stomach.
"That was for cheating on me." Sasuke pushed Naruto to the ground, making him hit his head, and stepped on his right hand, crushing his fingers. Naruto screamed.
"That was for lying." Sasuke said, still calm, and pulled out a kunai out of one of his pockets.
"And this is for ruining my reputation." He reached up the hand with the kunai and brought it back down again, intending to stab Naruto's heart with it. Just centimeters before it would have broken the blonde's skin, Naruto's hand shot out and caught the kunai. He pushed Sasuke away from him by kicking him on the chest with both legs. The brunette stumbled back several meters and slammed into a wall, falling into a sitting position soon after.
Naruto grabbed the brick wall next to him, using it as leverage to stand up slowly. When he was finally up he growled threateningly, eyes flashing red, "Do not underestimate ME!"
Naruto did some handseals and took a deep breath. This is going to hurt. A lot! Taking a few steps towards a still dazed Sasuke, he pressed his right hand to the brunette's chest, right above the heart. The older teen screamed loudly and not a second later Naruto joined him. After standing there for half a minute, screaming, Naruto finally pulled away and Sasuke fell unconscious immediately. Naruto took a few shaky steps away from him before collapsing, taking deep breaths and fighting unconsciousness. Suddenly feeling someone jump next to him he opened his eyes and saw an ANBU with a mask made to look like a bird. Naruto recognized him immediately.
"Neji…" He coughed and Neji pulled his mask off to look Naruto in the eye.
"I'm taking you to the hospital."
"NO!" Naruto yelled and coughed again. He continued, more quietly this time, "Tsunade… Take me to Tsunade. And tell Shika…" and fell unconscious.
Neji glared at the unconscious Uchiha and, after gathering Naruto in his hand and pulling his mask back on, whistled sharply. Two black shapes jumped in front of him and bowed slightly.
"Take the Uchiha back to his cell and make sure he doesn't get out this time!" Neji growled out and started to move towards the Hokage tower. The two ANBU nodded and took Sasuke back to the cell he was in previously, one of them staying to make sure he wouldn't break out again.
Neji jumped over the rooftops quickly, reaching the Hokage tower in less than a minute. Jumping in through one of the open windows he called out loudly, "Hokage-sama!"
Tsunade, not looking up from the paperwork she was actually doing this time, growled angrily, "Why can't you guys just use the do-Naruto! What happened to him?!"
She took Naruto from Neji and placed him on the couch, checking for any external injuries.
"I don't know. I heard some screaming from an alleyway and went to see what was happening and found Naruto and Uchiha. Uchiha was unconscious and I had him taken back to jail. Naruto fell unconscious soon after I found him." Neji finished the short explanation and looked at Naruto, noticing how pale the boy was. You've been through so much…
Tsunade sent some healing charka into Naruto and sighed. "Well, there doesn't seem to be anything really wrong with him, just massive charka exhaustion and bruised ribs and fingers." She glanced at Neji.
"You should probably get Shikamaru here, he'll take care of him." The brunette nodded, remembering Naruto's request.
"Hai, Hokage-sama." And with that he jumped out the window to trace Shikamaru's faint charka signature. Five minutes later he walked into the store Yoshino and her son were still waiting and saw that they were both very anxious.
"Shikamaru! Naruto's at the Hokage tower." Neji yelled out. Shikamaru's head shot up and he stared towards the ANBU. A second later he was out of the door after shouting, "Thanks, Neji!"
Yoshino blinked several times and shrugged.
"I guess I'll go get the guest room ready." She sighed. "Troublesome men..."
Shikamaru arrived at the Hokage tower in less than a minute and jumped in through the window, slightly out of breath. Seeing Naruto, he rushed towards him, asking, "What happened?!"
Tsunade, who had been complaining about insolent shinobi not respecting Konoha's property, snapped to attention and frowned.
"Apparently, the Uchiha broke out of prison and attacked Naruto. Naruto did something to him, I don't know what, that left them both unconscious. He's almost fine, physically, just has an extreme case of charka exhaustion and bruised ribs and fingers. Just… take him home and tell me when he wakes up."
Shikamaru nodded and picked Naruto up, poofing away.
Tsunade sighed. "I'm going to need sake. Lots and lots of sake."
Shikamaru and Naruto appeared in front of the Nara residence just when Yoshino opened the door. She looked at Naruto sadly.
"What happened to him now?" she asked. Shikamaru simply shrugged and started walking towards the house.
"Chakra exhaustion again. Uchiha broke out of prison and attacked him. We don't know what Naruto did to him."
"I don't remember you being this much trouble when you were younger." Shikamaru, having placed Naruto in the bed in the guestroom, froze and looked at his mother.
"Mom… Naruto is only a month younger than me."
Yoshino smiled, "Exactly! You were never this much trouble!"
Shikamaru felt like banging his head against a wall. My parents… are impossible…
…………….
This time it took Naruto two days to wake up.
"Shika…? Man, I'm hungry. How long was I asleep?" Shikamaru, who had been staring out of the window sitting in a chair next to Naruto, twisted himself around in the chair to look at Naruto and grinned.
"You're awake! You were asleep for two days and-wait a minute. Almost forgot." He walked towards the desk in the room and opened a cage, pulling out a courier-dove. He went to the window, opened it and let go of the dove, watching it as it flew towards the Hokage tower.
"Anyway, how are you feeling? Anything hurt?" Shikamaru sat on the bed next to Naruto, smiling. Naruto grinned weakly.
"Everything hurts. That's 'cause of the seal I did."
"What seal?" As soon as Shikamaru asked the question, Trunade appeared in the middle of the room in a poof of smoke, startling Naruto, and stalked towards the blonde teen.
"Finally awake, huh? How are you feeling, brat?" she asked, checking his vitals.
"It hurts, baa-chan!" Naruto whined. Tsunade could feel her eye twitch as Shikamaru snickered.
"Be glad you're hurt, brat. I would have hit you if you weren't." She growled and glared at Naruto, the blonde boy smiling innocently. She sighed. That boy looks too damn cute… Whoa, random…
She shook her head slightly and looked at Naruto again. "What did you do to the asshole?"
Naruto smirked, "I blocked off his charka. The charka pathways in his body are so burnt it's impossible for him to use any sort of ninja technique again."
Tsunade and Shikamaru grinned. The blonde woman continued her examination of Naruto and, after finding that his physical injuries had healed, stood up and started walking towards the door.
"Well, you're fine. It's going to take you a while before you're able to walk again, though. Your charka pathways were pretty burnt but it seems Kyuubi has already started to heal them. So… you'll probably be able to walk without assistance again in about a week. Till you are strong enough to move without feeling pain you WILL stay in bed, got it?" After seeing Tsunade glare at him, he just gulped and nodded. The blonde haired woman grinned and walked out of the room, using the door this time.
Shikamaru looked at Naruto. "Do you want anything?"
The blonde simply smiled. "Some food and water would be nice." And immediately after he finished the sentence, Yoshino opened the door, carrying a tray with a glass of water and bowl of broth. She smiled at the two teens.
"I heard from Hokage-sama that you were awake and probably in need of food. So I brought you some chicken broth and water." After Shikamaru helped Naruto sit up, Yoshino placed the tray on Naruto's knees and left the room. I'll just come back later. With a camera. And so, cackling mentally, she walked down the stairs, thinking of all the yaoi-goodness she could share with Ino.
Naruto and Shikamaru suddenly felt shivers run down their spines and Shikamaru, thinking it was the wind, stood up and closed the window. He went back to the bed and helped Naruto drink the broth and water. After the blonde finished, Shikamaru placed the tray on the bedside table and crawled under the covers next to Naruto. The younger teen smiled and gave his boyfriend a quick kiss on the lips. They fell asleep soon, not waking until the next morning.
……………
In a morning five days after Sasuke's attack, Naruto and Shikamaru woke up after hearing a slight racket downstairs. The brunette helped the blonde get dressed and they walked down the stairs, Shikamaru helping Naruto walk.
When they finally did reach the living room, the two teens were surprised to see all of their friends.
"SURPRISE! Happy birthday, Naruto!" The blonde blinked.
"It's October 10-th already?" he muttered, slightly confused. Then he grinned.
"Thanks guys! This means a lot to me!" He and Shikamaru were dragged to the party, even though the brunette thought parties were troublesome. It lasted for several hours, both Naruto and Shikamaru having lots of fun, even if the latter denied it. The brunette was slightly suspicious of his mother constantly taking pictures of him and Naruto, but shrugged it off. God knows what she's thinking… And I don't think I want to know.
Yoshino was actually thinking of how the new members of her website would enjoy these pictures. I'm so glad I bought this camera…
Naruto was still grinning when the last guest left, and hugged the Kyuubi-plushy Shikamaru had given him. He sat down on the couch, pulling his boyfriend down with him and closing his eyes.
"I'm so glad I came to you," he muttered and fell asleep with a small smile, hugging Shikamaru.
…………………………….
TA-DAA! END OF CHAPTER TWO!
Ahem… For some reason, I think this one was slightly crappier than the last one… You decide. Anyway, I'll write the Naruto POV thing too, it'll just take some time. Even if it is going to be short…
This feels slightly unfinished…
Soo… I'm sure many of you are sad that Shikaku wasn't in this chapter but, fear not! I made omakes! One is about Yoshino's webpage and the other is Shikaku's and Naruto's "Rescue puppy" mission! I got the inspiration while talking to Nao Shizuma. She and her sister are in the second omake... And mentioned in the first one. So... yeah.
They're long. Almost as long as the chapter (Ok, so maybe not. Still, slightly too long).
I want to see if anyone can guess all the characters mentioned in the first omake. There are some people that are already dead, so remember that.
WARNING: These are pure insanity and crack. If you have a medical condition I suggest you consult with your doctor before reading. I am not responsible for any injuries you may get after and/or while reading them. There are tons of plot holes in these (Ok, just a few, but still!) So...
ENJOY!
………. Omake number one …………….
Yoshino's website.
A few hours after Naruto's 18-th birthday party, Yoshino decided it was safe to download the photos she took onto her website. While the computer was downloading the pictures, she decided to look at some of the new members.
Hmm… Let's see. Who do we have here? We have Ino, of course, and those two, but… Woah, 18 new members? Awesome! Let's see, 5 girls and 13 guys?
Yoshino rubbed her eyes and stared at the monitor. Damn… There are a lot gay guys in this world. Or maybe they're just closet pervs? Ah, who knows… Anyway, let's see… Hmm, there's DesertFan, from… Suna? And -SandPuppet- and Pandaman are also from there… Odd.
Ooh! Some are from Sound! Let's see, SexySnakey and FoureyesHelmet. She blinked. Strange name…
Then… Wait! Isn't the Akatsuki an organization for missing-nins? Amazing… There's artisBANG, PuppetMaster… Again with the puppets… BlueFlower's from there and… 666SexyIllusion666…
She stared at the name. I don't think I wanna know. Honestly.
Hmm… the others are from Konoha. There's WhiteDove… With a name like that I'm pretty sure he's gay… Whitedog18... White sure is a popular color... weaponmistress, okay… PervyWolf69. The names just keep getting weirder… No1Pervert… Riiiight. Lots of perverts.
Yoshino froze, remembering that she was also a pervert. Ah well. Onwards with the strange names!
So… We have SunnyButterfly, that's not so odd, sexy-leaf-boy… That's the third guy that calls himself sexy. Ego… then there's penisartist13. O-kay… And finally Sakerulez. Right…
She grinned. They'll love the new pictures for sure!
Looking to her left Yoshino saw that the downloading was complete. She rubbed her hands together, cackling maniacally with thunder and lightning on the background.
So she was a perv who posted pictures of her son and his boyfriend on the Internet, big deal!
Suddenly, a window popped open on her computer screen. She looked at it and paled. There's that photo about me flirting with Iruka… And that damn puppy!
She growled. Someone's going to pay.
………. Omake number two …………….
Shikaku's "Save puppy" mission.
Shikaku was surprised when he saw his wife leaving their bedroom in a rush, muttering death threats under her breath. She seemed to not notice him and for that he was glad. Usually it was Shikaku who angered Yoshino, and sometimes Shikamaru. But not today.
Shikaku decided to see why, exactly, Yoshino was angry. He entered the bedroom and saw his wife's computer, a photo visible on the desktop. He stared at it. Wait, is that… It is! Shikaku got angry.
THAT ASSHOLE TOOK MY PUPPY!(A/N: He has issues, doesn't he?)
Shikaku left the room in a rush (after printing out the picture, of course), running out of the house to find the only person that understood him: Naruto. He found the blonde at Ichiraku's, sitting and talking with some of his friends.
"Naruto, I found my puppy!" he yelled. Naruto blinked and the others just looked confused.
"Really? Where is he?" the young man asked, truly interested.
Shikaku looked around, suspicious of everything. "Not here. The walls have ears," he whispered loudly, pretending no-one besides Naruto could hear him. Naruto blinked, surprised, but still nodded. After saying a quick goodbye to his friends, he left, leaving them thinking WTF?
Shikaku and Naruto stopped when the older man thought it was a safe enough place to talk. Entering their Super Secret Headquarters (the Nara house attic), Shikaku decided to explain.
"I found this picture on my wife's computer." Shikaku pulled a picture out from one of his pockets. Naruto looked at it.
"This… is a crayon drawing of a rainbow." Shikaku grabbed it back, blushing slightly.
"Sorry, wrong picture…" he took out another one and, after checking it was the right picture, showed it to Naruto.
Naruto stared at it for a few seconds.
"Iruka-nii-san has your puppy?"
"Yeah, and look!" He pointed at his wife who was flirting with Iruka, "Yoshino's trying to get him back!" (A/N: So clueless…)
Naruto nodded, agreeing with the older man.
"So, how are we going to get him back?" he asked. Shikaku led him to a cloth covered wall and pulled the white sheet off, revealing a whiteboard covered in meaningless scribbles, some x-s and badly drawn stick-figures.
"See, this is the plan…" he started explaining Naruto the overly complicated plan. After discussing the plan for half an hour, they finally decided to get ready. Pulling on military style clothes, helmets, taking several meters of rope, kunai, shuriken and a slingshot each, they were finally ready to go. When they were walking down the street, no-one really paid attention to them, already used to seeing insane people everywhere.
Shikaku and Naruto searched for Iruka for about 30 minutes before finally finding him. They would have found him earlier, but neither of them thought about going to his apartment, deciding to look at the academy first and totally forgetting about it being a Sunday.
Anyway, after Shikaku smashed Iruka's door open, ignoring the fact that it was unlocked, he and Naruto entered. They looked through the whole apartment before finding him in a corner of the bedroom, curled up in a fetal position and muttering something under his breath. Shikaku marched in front of him and pulled him up by the front of his shirt.
"Alright, you scumbag, where's the puppy!?" he growled. Iruka just whimpered and started rambling.
"That girl… that little girl… And the song, oh GOD the song… So evil, so disturbing…" Shikaku frowned.
"What are you talking about?!"
Iruka stared at him blankly. "That girl… she took the dog. Tried to stop her, but… God, the song! 'My little pony'…" he started humming the song under his breath before screaming and grabbing his head. Shikaku let go of him and Iruka fell to the ground, once again curled up in the fetal position and staring blankly at the wall, occasionally whimpering.
Naruto was horrified. Who did this to Iruka…? SO EVIL!
After they left the house, Naruto placing the broken door back where it belonged, he and Shikaku decided to go and look for the little girl who took the older man's puppy. But, since they had no idea where to look, they soon gave up and went to their Super Secret Headquarters to decide what to do next. When they got there, they were surprised to find someone already there.
"Who are you?" Naruto asked after seeing two girls, about 15 years old, sitting on two of the beanbags and talking about… something. The girls looked up and grinned.
"I'm Nao and she's Kat! We're here to help you find your puppy!" one of the girls said. The other one just nodded enthusiastically.
Shikaku and Naruto stared at the grinning girls. "O-kay… And how are you going to help us?" asked the brunette.
"We know who took your puppy," said Kat. Shikaku's and Naruto's eyes widened.
"Really? Where is he? Tell me, tell me, TELL ME!" Shikaku was on his knees, pleading.
"You find Konohamaru and you find the puppy," the two said together and disappeared. Naruto and Shikaku stared at where they had been before.
"That… was weird." The blonde said. The brunette just nodded his head.
Pulling himself together, Shikaku walked over to the whiteboard and, after cleaning it, started drawing something on it. Naruto walked closer, extremely interested. Seeing what Shikaku was drawing, he gasped.
"That will never work!"
The brunette scowled at him. "Yes it will! It's insane enough to work!"
Naruto looked at the plan again and thought for a minute.
"Maybe…"
Shikaku grinned and nodded. He and Naruto started gathering things needed for the trap they were planning to build and left the HQ to go find the bait. They found 'the bait', or as we know him, Konohamaru, at the hot springs, looking through a hole in the fence.
Shikaku and Naruto looked at each other and nodded. They took a long piece of rope, both holding onto one end of it, and sneaked behind Konohamaru. Shikaku pulled the boy slightly away from the fence and he and Naruto started running around him, wrapping the rope tightly around the teen. He stared at the two and opened his mouth to say something, but Naruto tied a cloth around his mouth to keep him from talking.
"Sorry, Konohamaru, but a puppy needs rescuing." Konohamaru stared at the blonde. Shikaku pressed a point on his neck and the boy fell unconscious. Naruto picked him up and walked after his partner in crime to go find the perfect place to put up their trap. After walking for 15 minutes, they found it: it was a clearing near the village, with several trees around it. Naruto and Shikaku worked quickly, finishing their trap in a minute.
The trap itself was simple and just plain stupid. Konohamaru was laying on the ground, still unconscious, with a large wooden crate over him. The crate was held up by a stick and around the stick was a rope which led to one of the trees. Shikaku and Naruto were hiding behind it, waiting for their prey to come.
Their 'prey' came 5 minutes later, carrying a puppy and a backpack. She was headed straight towards Konohamaru, not really noticing the crate above him. As soon as she was near the crate, Shikaku pulled the rope and the stick holding the crate up fell down. The girl blinked as the crate fell, leaving only Konohamaru beneath it. She stared at Shikaku and Naruto, who were walking towards him.
"What do you want?" the 7-year-old asked.
Naruto sighed. "Give us the puppy-" he was interrupted by Shikaku.
"AND the leprechauns!"
"Right, the puppy and the leprechauns, and you get Konohamaru."
The girl nodded with an evil glint in her eyes. "Deal!" she said and placed the puppy and the backpack on the ground. Shikaku ran towards them while Naruto lifted the crate to let the girl get Konohamaru. She grabbed the teen and vanished with him, cackling evilly.
Naruto sighed and grinned, making a Gai-like pose. "Mission complete!"
In a distant universe, Konohamaru screamed and several girls laughed evilly.
……………………
End of da omakes!
The third chapter, Naru's POV shall be finished, so until then… BEWARE!
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