Disclaimer: I own nothing from NCIS or its characters.

A/N: To all the people who's reading this story, than you very much. Please review.

Chapter 4

Something's telling me everything is my fault

Tony was taken to the hospital. Ziva did not understand what happened. They've just had the best night, as far as she could remember, and now everything has turned into a nightmare.

She immediately called Gibbs, she did not know why, but even when she could not remember him, she knew she could trust him. Within minutes, he was at the hospital, right by her side, like a father would do.

"I do not know what happened, he was making some breakfast, I was sleeping, then the noise, it did not sound like a gunshot, and now we're here. God...do you want to know the worse part?, something's telling me that everything is my fault", Ziva said, trying to hold the tears back.

"Don't say that, there was nothing that you could have done, you've just said it, you're sleeping"

"No, no, I know I could've never stop this, but still, I cannot stop feeling as if I would've been the one who shoot him"

An hour later, the Dr. came to the waiting room and told them that Tony's condition was stable and that they could see him now.

"He's already in his room", the Dr. said.

Ziva looked at Gibbs.

"Go Ziva, you two need some time alone, I'll be with the two of you in a couple of minutes, ok?"

"Yes"

After Ziva disappeared behind the elevator doors, Gibbs called McGee

"I need you to investigate what happened to Tony, and I need to know it ASAP"

"On it boss"

Gibbs could not take off of his mind what Ziva had just told him.

"What were you doing undercover Ziva?", he asked himself.

Tony's room

"How are you feeling, Tony?" She asked him as she started playing with his fingers.

"Like I was shoot"

"Come on, the Dr. said it was nothing. The bullet ended up in our kitchen wall. It was only a scratch, don't be such a baby" She said while she placed a soft kiss on the top of his nose. "I called Gibbs, he's outside, do you want me to call him?"

"Right now I prefer to be alone with you" His lips touching hers.

Gibbs step by, talk to his senior agent, and then went back to NCIS, he needed to investigate what was really going on. He was concerned, but as long as Tony was at the hospital, he was safe.

The Dr. told them that Tony had to spend the night at the hospital for observation, and Ziva chose to stay by his side. While they're sleeping, she had a dream, a nightmare more than a dream. The picture in her mind was blur, but at the same time it was so real. It was a big party. Kids running, balloons, a pool, voices that suddenly turned into screams and then…nothing.

"Daddy can I go?"

Voices that suddenly…

"Where is she Tony?"

Turned into screams and then…nothing. Everything turned black…she woke up in a cold sweat and panting.

"Nooo!!"

Tony woke up, "It is ok Ziva, what happened?"

"I was…I don't know. I think I was dreaming but…It was so real"

"It's ok Zee, I'm here, right by your side, I won't let anything happen to you, you're safe"

"I'm safe, but…was she?"

"She?, who?, what are you talking about?

"The little girl Tony, I saw her, she was there, and then she disappeared, I asked you where she was, but you did not answer me"

Tony's heart beat was raising, she was remembering, and now everything was going to be the way it had been for the last years.

"Did we have a daughter Tony?

"Ziva…."

"Did we?" her voice was getting louder

Tony nodded

"And now.. she is…she is…dead?"

Back at NCIS, Gibbs and McGee were analyzing the evidence.

"This was made by a pro boss, Abby said that there were no hits in CODIS, the shoot came from outside the house, it was a sniper, highly trained. But why Tony?"

"First of all it was not a pro or a highly trained sniper, McGee"

"How do you know that boss, Abby said that..."

"I heard you, maybe this guy is very well connected, but definitely not a pro, Tony is alive, isn't he? And second, "that is exactly what we have to find out McGee"

Now Tony was alone, Ziva did not let him explain to her what happened that day, he knew the second she remembered, everything was going to be ruined, she'll never forgive him, and maybe she was right, it was his fault, he should had never left her alone, but God it was a party, who though that…Tony started to cry when he remembered what happened to his little girl.

It was 3 am, Gibbs was once again working on his boat, the entire case was driving him crazy, no traceable bullets, no gun, no DNA, no fingerprints (except for Tony and Ziva's, of course), no nothing. The guy might not been a pro, but he definitely knew how to become a ghost. Until a shadow interrupted his thoughts…

"I thought you're with Tony, what are you doing here?"

"I remembered"

"You mean that you know what happened to Tony?"

"No, I remembered what happened to my baby girl"

"Oh Ziva…..!"

"Why, I mean she was just a baby, wasn't she?"

"Yes she was, Tony did not explained?"

"I did not let him, I practically ran away from him, I did not want to listen to him and now…I do not know what to do…"

"So you did not know what happen?"

"Not exactly, what I do know is that she is dead and that I held Tony responsible for it, but I cannot remember the details, God, I do not even remember her name"

"Her name was Eitana, she was a very sweet girl"

"Eitana...what happened to her Gibbs?"

"I think you should talk with Tony about it"

"Right now, I do not want to talk to him, I want you to tell me what happened to my Eitana"

"What did you remember"

"A crowded place, balloons, a pool, kids…my little girl, she was asking Tony if she could go, I do not know where to and then I remember having asked Tony where was she and then…people were screaming…then... nothing, except for this emptiness in my heart, in my soul, in my life…." By now Ziva was crying uncontrollably.

Gibbs hugged her tight, trying to comfort her, but deep inside he knew there was no comfort when you loose a child. He kept her close to him until her crying subsided into sobs.

"What happened?"

"She wanted to go to the pool, but she did not know how to swim, she was only three"

"So she drowned, yes?"

"Gibbs nodded"

She whipped the remaining tears, even when it was really hard, deep inside she always knew, even when her memory was lost she knew that there was something missing, she just blocked it off.

"Then…what happened with me and Tony?"

"You held him responsible, told him it was his fault"

"Why did I do that, we were at that party, both of us, together, it was OUR fault"

"No Ziva, it was nobody's fault. You blamed him because you were angry, and sad, and…there was just nobody else to be blamed for that lose. But it was an ACCIDENT, look at me, it was nobody's fault, did you understand me, not yours nor Tony's, NOBODY'S"

"I've made our lives miserable ever since, yes?

"You've been grieving, nobody can blame you for that. But you did not talk to anyone, no to the psychologist,to the therapist, to me, Jto enny…not even to your husband, and that made it even harder"

"I do not want to be the same, I know I am never going to forget that I had a baby, but I have to think about Tony, our marriage…I think…I'm sure that I still love him, I think I always have, and always will, but…"

"No buts, David"

"He's never going to forgive me, I blamed him for something he did not do and tonight at the hospital I saw him, he was sad and disappointed"

"He loves you Ziva, and he is going to understand"

"I do not know if I deserve it"

"Of course you do, we all make mistakes and we deserve a second chance, so go home, take a shower, sleep and tomorrow go to the hospital and bring Tony back home with you. Start over Ziva"

She smiled at him, hugged him and said her goodbyes.

Gibbs smiled back, after she left, he was happy for them. After all those years, she had the chance to talk about what happened and finally she understood it was not Tony's fault. It was just an accident. But he was still concerned about the damned shooter, why Tony, and why did Ziva tell him early that morning that it was her fault?