Secret Desires & Fears (G-7)
Timing: Between 'A Great and Terrible Beauty' and 'Rebel Angels'.
I feel hot with fever each time I wake from my latest reoccuring nightly horrors. They shake me to my core and I pray with all I am that it is my subconscience and nothing more.
The dream is too terrible for me to describe in full detail, as I probably should. Not only does it scare me, but it arises such undeniable guilt. This fear is part of the cause of my adverse feelings towards returning to the realms as of late. Indeed they are of Pippa, but they are too terrible to be real. I'm sure of it, or rather I pray for it to be so.
I dream of the realms, of our beautiful Pippa, hopelessly lost inside.
The realms are not at all as I remember them to have been, no longer beautiful, but a frightening, changed place. The ground weeps at its own change and the trees stand barren where they once were full and green. The sky is a deep blood red. Clouds dark, a sign of a coming storm. The setting seems foreign, but I know in my bones that it is the realms.
"Be careful, Gemma."
Her voice is calm, yet my heart dances in my chest.
Pippa is beautiful as always, but their is something eerily different about her. Something that I can not ignore.
Flowers are intertwined in her hair to form a garland. Odd ends of the various daisies are dried out and hang limp among others still retaining their former beauty. The contrast between her hair and pale skin is harsh in such lighting, alarming, but nonetheless lovely. Only then do I realize what is wrong in the picture. Pippa's eyes are unnaturally pale and her pupils are tiny pinpricks next to the blue milky color of her irises. The sight makes my stomach turn on itself.
"You must come back to the realms, Gemma. But they're looking for you, so you must be careful," she smiles whole heartedly at me, as if to shake off any uneasy feelings. Her cheeks raise in good cheer, flaunting her high cheekbones most alluringly.
It might have obtained its purpose of calming me, especcially given how beautiful our Pippa is, but again one detail causes me to wake in such a fit every other night. Her teeth are now pointed to small, razor sharp tips, every one. What should have been full of friendliness is sickeningly carnivorous.
The unpleasant message is returned in slightly different phrases more than once each week. I try to ignore it, but each time it has me clutching my knees to my chest and trying to forget the implications.
It is not real, Gemma. It is not real, Gemma. It is not real... she has passed on. I witnessed it.
This is the final installment of this fan fiction. I'd like to thank all my wonderful readers and reviewers. You really make my day when I see a new story alert or review, even if you're got some critism for me. Its taken a long time for me to finish up this fic, but it was worth every minute. If I could go back and change something, I would have spent even more time on it.
No, I will not describe more dreams for the next two books in the trilogy (Rebel Angels and The Sweet Far Thing), but I do have a few other AGATB fan fiction ideas up my sleep. None will be me narrating from Gemma's point of view again, I think I'll leave that for Libba Bray who totally is better at it than me (she did think of the character), but rereading the series has made me take interest in other characters and their thoughts. I hope you guys'll check in every so often and take a look when I start another.
Thanks again for the experience! You guys all rock!