EPOV
I had told myself that one look would be enough, and I had spent twenty-five minutes watching her, I didn't deserve to see her again, I should make my way to Alaska now, but I couldn't do it. So that night I went to her house, I was below her window, and I could already hear her heart beating faintly, it was something I never forgot, much as I had tried to.
I was having a silent argument with myself, whether or not I would climb though her window as I had so many times before. Just when I had decided I couldn't stop myself a hand grabbed at my shoulder. If my heart were still beating it would have stopped in fear at that moment.
I slowly turned around and let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding in. It was just Alice!
"Edward you can't do this to her it isn't fair! She saw you earlier, just like I knew she would and if you go in there now she is going to see you again, this time she wont be able to convince herself you weren't really hear." Alice yelled at me in a whisper and the relief I had felt at seeing her was gone.
"She's asleep can't you hear that, and it is in my…programming to be quite, Alice I can't stay away but I wont let her life be ruined by what we are! Damn it! I am a selfish creature but I am not cruel. I am going to give myself one last look at my love, if I am lucky one last chance to hear her voice. And then I'll be gone."
"Edward, this isn't going to turn out like you think it will. You know it is foolish to bet against me. So please, I care about Bella as much as you do." I scoffed at this comment and Alice glared at me. "I do! And if you recall I was against this all along, leaving Bella. But we did, because you insisted! So you don't get to come back when you're just going to leave again."
"What if I don't leave? What if I stay if she'll have me, beg her forgiveness? And then what Alice? Damn it to hell I wont let her throw away her human existence for nothing."
"Really Edward, is that what you think that she would be throwing it away for nothing? Because the rest of us see it rather differently, Bella loves you so very much Edward. So we see if she chooses you it would be what she really wants and she would trade her normal existence for you, for something much more important than human experiences Bella never really seemed to care about anyway."
"But Alice she deserves those experiences!"
"Who are you Edward Cullen to make the choice for her? Besides if Bella is anything like you she NEEDS you. You haven't really lived since you left. And no, after this stunt you pulled I don't think you really deserve Bella, but after Bella's bravery and kindness if she wants you still, she more than deserves you. So Edward you know what I think you should do. But what are you going to do? Go in there and beg for her forgiveness and leave if she rejects you or will you be a chicken shit and walk away? There are NO other options I can see that."
"Alice you know what I want to do but-"
" But what are you going to do?" I knew she was right and now I knew I couldn't stay away, and that all along I had kind of wanted her to see me. I didn't want her to forget me, so I knew what I would do. As soon as I had decided Alice grinned.
"Do you know what she'll say Alice?" I wanted to know ahead of time so I could… prepare but Alice was guarding her thoughts doing intense mathematical equations so I couldn't decipher what she had seen. So with a sigh I went up to see my love.