Once again not my story! Its kirsten aka my sister. She does not own Naruto just Chi and any other made up cahrecter she makes!
..:I'm... in love with... a CAT?!:..
(Itachi love story)
Chapter 6
AHAHAHAHAAA!
HAPPY, MO'FO'S!?
Kidding.
I love you all.
Ah I HAVE FIRE BENEATH MY FINGERTIPS! IT FEELS WONDERFUL TO WANT TO WRITE THIS MUCH!
Here ya' guys go, nine pages of Kitty-Itachi goodness with … 2,275 words. Yay.
Now to check off my list AGAIN!
Just 'cause I love you all
Y2K4
bla12
SilentKilling
Mitsuki19
KetsuekiSaiken
XxTruexSoulxX
just.some.chick.13
And probably
ChibiSpaz313
(I have no Idea if she reads this, but she has been helping me with some problems and she has been egging me on to write... Thank you, Kit. Thank you so much! :')
Anddddd... their are pro'lly more... buuuuut...
I am too lazy to check.
oo
... And do you see... that Memo Box?
It is full...
And can you see what has filled it?
A F.CKIN' BANNER!
I cried.
But... I've made a couple banners mah self. And one of 'em is gonna go up their if I don't receive a banner after this. And I doubt ANYBODY wants to see my crappy job of a banner.
TT
+Start+
Dammit! Where am I, now!? I thought Noodle and I were able to DESCRETLY and COMPLETELY scope out the ENTIRE area! I guess I was WRONG then! Dammit!
I exasperate a sigh as I spin around to catch a glimpse of something, ANYHTING familiar.
And so far?
NA-DA.
I growl as whip around som'ore.
Wait. I hear somethin'.
Oh, what could it be?
I am certainly in a desolate area in which no one comes around very often.
But srsly.
Who is making that crunchy noise?
It's close. I can hear it. But I can't tell if it's coming from my right or left. Y'see there was two different doors on either side of me. I cannot describe the sharp crunching noises, but I know I've heard it before. Probably more than once, I just can't put my finger on it. Hum.
Screw it.
I miscellaneously pick the one to my left which happens to be the right door.
Dingdingdingding.
I creak the door open the slightest bit to come in contact with ... Oh God.
Holy Hell! What is THAT!?
A plant?
It's a plant.
A seemingly carnivorous plant.
Holy Hell times two.
So that's what that crunching sound was!
He is eating an... Arm?
Yeah, dunno what happened to the rest of the arm's body but yeah, it's gone.
Bye, bye.
Wait. Wasn't that the ... guy that came from the walls? Uh.. Zetsu? Yeah I remember him... But Like HELL I knew he was a... Cannibal!?
I was ONLY half way through the door, I wanted to leave. I wanted to throw up any sight my eyes took in like 1 dollar sushi. I wanted to run away screaming. But would my legs let me? Hell no. Oh how my lungs started kicking in when I relised I wasn't breathing; but they granted access, but the air came into my mouth like 10 year old fans at a Jonas Brother's concert 1.
Alas, the plantman heard the gasp, he spotted me.
Oh gad. Oh gad. Oh gad!
I munna diiie!
Zetsu licked his lips free from any seeping blood, smirking as he did so. His scary yellow eyes... They bore so creepily into mine. Can I run now? But I won't be able to do it quick enough. He caught me from behind in the blink of an eye. Arms around my churning, tight tummy.
"Why hello, my dear, what're you doing so far from the rest of the world?" Asked a kind voice from my captor.
"Won't you please stay for dessert." Asked a much colder tone.
I was dead silent. I couldn't speak nor move. I feared for my life. Can I run now? I thought not.
"Please be kind enough to stay. We would love some company..."
"Especially some one so scrumptious looking as you."
"And cute too"
Alright. Who's who, now? I am playing this by ear. One side sounded nice, somewhat, but the other held a cold tone. Why? I have no idea. Bad Zetsu, bad!
"Alright?" I will try to fight my way out with major coaxing and trickery.
"Splendid." Said the nice side.
"And... Dare I ask, what's for 'Dinner'?"
Human. Of course. Well... Might as well try to escape. Bleh... I am so gonna wash my mouth out with soap after this...
TT
"Yummy." I offer a disgusting face, he ignores it.
"C'mon, dear, sit." He smirked.
I sat in front of the corpse. I cringed.
"Well, my dear? Dig in." He said trying to test my loyalty and stupidity. I also have this feeling he wants to fatten me up for "Dessert".
"Is that a fat-joke?" I glare.
I shrug. Better to get this done and over with. I grab a nice tender hunk of... Like hell I know the anatomy of a Human body. Well it was a hunk of something... I hesitantly rip a bit of it off with my inhuman-ish teeth.
Holy hell. Well butter my muffin! That's yummy! My eyes widen.
I think I just became half cannibal! Yay!
I scarf more of it in my mouth.
But the face Zetsu made was the highlight of my day.
But as I was eating my fill of aud human, I couldn't help but think of that song, "A Little Priest" from Sweeney Todd. Boy, I love that man.
I managed to escape with the shock of Zetsu on my side. But apparently the good lord was on my side as well. I managed to find the exit! Wooooo! Who knew this hideout was so easy to navigate in?
I haven't been able to stretch my legs in the outside air for such a long time (Be it, 2 or 3 days IS a long time for me) and being cooked up in this madhouse is thus not cool.
I exasperatingly walk outside into the sunlight and almost melt. I'm sure my skin looks dead from here. Pro'lly so pale, it looks blue. Like... Maguro.
:D
--Hee-Yuk!-- I heard from a few points to the left of me, some where in the bushes.
WTF mates?
Hell, Curiosity Killed the Cat. Ah. Just two low life squirrels, that aren't in any of my squads.
--Squirrel, you seen that new Chipmunk-Chick? I'd bury mah acorn in that hole ANY DAY!--
--SHOOT I'd hit that like ROAD KILL!--
Racist morons!
And in the moment, another squirrel came along.
--Mang you wanna hit somethin'? Let's go hit some carpet.--
--You best be checkin' out his momma! Squirrel seen so many NUTS she done packed her mouth full!--
Racist Bastards!
--Ha! Ha! It's so fun to be borderline racist and derogatory. You just gotta change the CONTEXT! What a clever and NOT obnoxious marketing campaign.--
--Nia Please.--
"RACIST SON'S OF BITCHES!" And they went flying. I kicked them. I couldn't stand their unadulterated stupidity any longer. Like hell they were getting away with that!
But something else was still gonna happen.
+Th-thank you ma'am.+
Wait. This is the first time I ever heard that voice.
+The forest was gettin' quite noisy with those rodents around...+
"Who're you?"
I swing around to face the cutest little weasel looking thing you ever saw! He was pure white, but not albino, he was like a domesticated Ermine! He had the CUTEST little British-Oliver Twist-voice!
I stared at him for a while. He had those questioning eyes on me, asking why I was looking at him with such weirdness.
"Who-Who're you?" I stutter out.
+Oh, pardon me, ma'am, my name is Kevin. Would you be as so kind as to state your name? If you may?+
Holy cow. He is so polite...
oo
"Chi..."
+Chi, ma'am? Is that what you said?+
I just nodded.
+Ah, thank you greatly, Ms. Chi! I hope to see you in the future!+
Hell no, he isn't getting away that easily! I grab him and place him in my cloak. He squeaks in surprise. I walk away like there isn't a squirming thing down my chest.
+Ma'am! What's the problem?+
"You are the cutest damn thing I have ever seen! I shall make you your very own position!"
+Position, Ma'am?+
"Ever wanted to work for the forest government?"
+I've never really given it much thought...+
"Screw it, you are comin' with me. I mean, what's better than living for the forest? I am sure you'll like it in my commanding army."
+Uhmn... +
"Just accept it, son."
+Son...?+
"It's an expre--"
+I've never had a mother before... Pray thee Ma'am... Am I your son?+
He had those adorable black void like eyes clear, boring into mine's. Holy cow... How utterly cute. How could I resist?!
"Yes..." I had tears in my eyes, it sounded like something from a movie! HOW CUTE!
+Th-thank you... Mum...+
I hugged Kevin so closely and started singing "Nothing's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around" from Sweeney Todd. Yay. I gots me an adorable lil' Ermine, named KEVIN!
It's been an hour and Kevin went wondering around. I didn't trust him to go alone so for some random twist of fate, I ordered the Lemur to look after him. Oh, how stupid was I?
"DAMNIT, UN!"
THUMP!
CRASH!
S'PLODE!
"F.CK! KEVIN I'M COMIN' FOR YA', CHILD!"
I race off to where I heard Deidara yell. I knew Kevin somehow got into the pantry, and Deidara just happened to want a nice cup of Maruchan Instant Ramen which is IN the pantry, and all those little things that cause life to be so wonderful.
"Deidara..."
Frick. What the heck happened here?
Deidara, on the floor, looking like burnt toast, swirly-eyed, and foaming at the mouth. Did his clay work against him or...? There was also burn marks on the walls and floors.
"Noodle. Who did this?"
I... I-I have no...
"Noodle, you're stammering."
Noodle was silent as we blankly stared at Deidara's seemingly lifeless corpse. Thank the lord he was still semi alive.
+Mum!+ I flip around to face Kevin.
His alien like eyes weren't the same. They were blank, literally white. But until he blinked and they turned back to those voids that suck you in.
+Mum! He-He tried to ...+ He made a s'plodie noise, flailing his stumpy arms, +and I didn't know what to do! He tried to kill me!+ He was crying, +I-I didn't mean to... to... hurt him... Is he special to you?+
"No, no, no, shhh. Calm down, my son. He meant to hurt you, you had... every right to ... what did you do, again?"
+I-I don't know. It happens on self-defense...+
"Well that's all we need to know for now, until later. Now what did you want form here?"
+Those crackers next to the Maruchan stuff.+
I grab the box and hand it to Kevin but it was too big for him to hold so it tipped over and fell on him. I didn't notice, I was too busy figuring out a good enough way to take Deidara back to his room in the most embarrassing way for him imaginable. Meh. I decide to just carry him, and not worry about anything for a while. I could just sleep right now.
I grab on to Deidara's feet and drag him out the Kitchen and into his apparent room. I feel a pang of truce and decide to sympathize with Deidara.
Each room has a bathroom. That's a good thing. I snatch a rag from the sink's towel holders and dab it with a hearty amount of water. I start with the foam at his lips and complete working on the soot smeared on his face. Well I can honestly say the cloak is ruined, it's a good thing the Leader gives us three cloaks at a time. His under clothes (which I find to be quite gay) 2 seemed to be ay-okay so I tuck him in and turn out the lights 'til he wakes up.
Whatthehell was that? Did I just act motherly towards the Clayman? I sure as hell HOPE no one saw that.
"Goddamn, you're an asshole." I glare.
Eventfully, Zetsu caught a glimpse of my taking care of Deidara, and decided to use it against me. Blackmail, b.tches.
"I'm sorry, dear."
"But it was too good to pass up."
"You're an asshole." I repeat, "You're just sore I flaked on you!"
"Flaked on whom?" I magically heard this voice. One that was all too familiar.
"M-Master?"
"What'd you do, Chi? You were with Zetsu?"
"Uh..."
"And she was with--"
I slam my calf into the side of his head in a roundhouse kick, namely standing on my hands, he went flying out the door, that was open thanks to Itachi, "YOUR HUSBAND'S CALLIN' YA'!" And he was out of the picture.
"What was he going to say, Chi?"
"Uh..."
I ran out of the room after that.
"CHI!"
Numbers
1 Le Jonas Brothers. Damn whores if you ask me. SORRY if any of you (Jonas Fans) decide to READ this, 'cause to be totally frank, I despise them. What? You now hate me? Well cry my a river, build a bridge, and get over it. Haha, I'm kidding. I love you all.
2 As most of you may or may not know, I love Deidara. Check my Home page thing, I just COULDN'T stand Chi always hurting his feelings, why? Cause I love him. And I think his out fit is NOT completely gay, it works for him.
;D