Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters mentioned, the storyline however, is mine….so there…NYAH!!
And special thanks to MangoMousse for letting me know about the formatting mistakes...they have been corrected! Arigato! Danke! And in further news, this
story has not and will not be abandoned...because, well I just love this storyline too much!
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Temari had experienced many strange things in her relatively short lifetime. She had seen a four year old child break a grown oak tree, almost twenty feet thick, in half with a single finger flick. A sandstorm had provided her shelter from her undesired and rather persistent suitor (he had been six foot seven and had had only one lopsided eyebrow). She had even had the singularly dull task of rearranging the living room of Gi, the second oldest advisor in the Kazekage's cabinet (the image of a large pile of used Big Boy condoms hidden under a low, curving daybed was still burned into the back her mind's eye).
But not once, in her entire life, had she ever been alone, nearly naked, sharing the same hot (suddenly very hot) bath water with any man other than her younger brother Kankuro, besides, at the time they had been seven and eight and had been separated by a screen so, that experience didn't really count for anything.
Still, Temari was a trained shinobi, a veteran in her field, and like all ninja, she was skilled at hiding emotion. So, instead of gaping at the silver haired like an idiot, she slowly raised one of her dainty, pale eyebrows.
Hidan stared at the girl for a few moments, a rather smug smirk plastered on his face as he waited for her blush and stuttering answer. Instead of a reply, however, she simply turned around and laid her arms and forehead against the walkway stones, a low chuckle escaping from her body. He tensed. That reaction not quite the one he was expecting.
"Four seconds, about ten minutes faster than it took your brain to register those two words on the sign by the door that said Ladies Bath."
"Whoa, what the fuck did you just say to me, Girlie?" Temari chanced a glance back over her bare shoulder and Hidan blinked slowly, uncrossing his arms, as an icy, knowing smile (it was really more like a smarl, or smile-snarl) flashed over the girl's face.
"Ne? Don't you understand English? Perhaps I should slow down? Why…are…you…in…here…baka?"
"Where the hell else would I bathe? If you haven't noticed, I'm covered in all this god damn shit!" He motioned furiously to the dark streaks on his upper body, tiny beads of water pulling on his pale skin. "They have a men's bath here too, dipshit."
"Do I look like some kind of fucking gay to you? Who the fuck wants to take a bath where you constantly have to dodge other people's dicks? Seriously."
An image of the young man doing just that flickered through her mind and Temari had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing at him outright.
For a few moments, her shrewd eyes assessed Hidan and, after deciding that she could probably take him down if she really needed to, she turned her body fully around to face him and leaned her head back against the pavement. "What?"
The young woman rolled her eyes and repeated her statement grudgingly, "I said, 'As long as you keep at least four feet away from me, you can stay.' Are you deaf or just stupid?"
"Gee, thanks Girlie. I just don't know what I would have done with myself if I didn't get your fucking permission. I'm about to shit myself I'm so happy. Seriously."
Pulling a nasty face at the young woman, Hidan began to busy himself with scrubbing off the top layer of dirt and blood on his bicep. After watching the muscles in his back flex with his movements for a few minutes, Temari shut her eyes and sank deeper into the water, soon lulling off into an extremely light dose.
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The first sensation Temari felt was something wet and hard barely skimming back and forth across the tip of her nose. With a start, her eyes snapped open and her hands shot forward intent on dealing massive damage…
only to be clenched mid-strike. Hidan glared down at the girl with a miffed look, shifting her hands so that his larger one grasped her thinner ones more securely. "What the hell are you doing?" Temari hissed, not liking at all how close the man's washboard abs were to her face or the fact that both of her wrists were currently locked in a vice grip.
Well, at least it wasn't something else hard and wet that brushed against my face. O god! What the hell is wrong with me?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Hidan's words echoed her thoughts uncannily. She sent him a glare that could boil the skin off of a toad (quite a powerful glare, I assure you), and viciously tried to tug her wrists free. "Let go of me asshole!"
With a disgruntled grumble that sounded suspiciously close to "No fucking way bitch", he leaned over her head and snatched some soap from the small mountain of precariously stacked bars threatening to spill over the edge into the bubbling current.
Temari was quite dismayed by this action as it caused her nose to rub against his previously mentioned wet abs and her mouth to be covered by the knot of his towel, which just happened to be riding dangerously low on his waist. Oh no you didn't!
In a sudden violent motion, the girl uncrossed her legs underwater and thrust them between those of the man's, while she pushed forward with her trapped hands. The quick maneuver threw Hidan off balance and he crashed into the hot water with a loud splash, releasing her as he went under.
With urgent speed, the Suna nin began pulling herself out of the pool. Suddenly, her left leg, still submerged to the midcalf, was yanked violently downward. Temari let out a fierce snarl as she slid backwards, alternating between clutching the ground and holding her towel, which was threatening to abandon her in favor of the ground, up.
Hidan stared upward expectantly as more and more of his bath-mate's surprisingly smooth and well shaped legs were brought into view. At first he had been pissed, but, now that he was getting an eyeful, the man was more than happy he had been pushed underwater. She still had the towel cocooned around herself and it was blocking his rather lovely line of vision, however.
He smirked and reached out of the water, tugging at the wet cloth obstinately. With a small shriek, (whose utterance she would deny until her dying day), Temari lashed out with her free leg, catching the submerged man square in the face with her heel.
Gagging as his jaw popped out of place and water shot up his nose, Hidan flailed around for several seconds before he regained his balance and surfaced, issuing a long stream of words that would stop even the most hardened criminals in their tracks for several seconds. Glancing around angrily while clutching his face with one hand, he realized that he was alone in the large courtyard.
"Bitch," he snarled, wincing in pain before looking down at the bubbling water. Something gray was lying against the brown pebbled spring-bed, its corners twisting in the current. Hidan dipped under the surface and snatched the thing off the bottom.
Holding it up to his face, it took a few moments for him to realize what it was and but when he did, he burst out in laughter. "Heh…what the fuck are you gunna do without your towel, Girlie?"
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Rock Lee gazed forlornly at his bowl of soup, using his chopsticks to push around the fat wonton noodles. He had been about to break his vertical pushup record of 1, 809 when a disheveled Temari had crashed into the room, nearly breaking the screen in the haste with which she slammed it shut.
The loud noise and unexpected entrance of his partner was enough to interrupt his concentration and he tottered forward dangerously but managed to right himself.
A shadow slowly crept across his plate and Lee glanced up at the approaching Suna Nin. She cast him a wary glance as she pulled out the chair across from his and sat down. Pursing her lips, the girl glanced around trying to locate the waiter.
In her apparent haste to get back to the safety of the room, she hadn't noticed that the knot of her robe had come undone and as she turned to face her partner, the terrycloth garment opened. For a few seconds Lee just stared at her lithe, well proportioned body, before what he was seeing actually registered in his brain and his arms gave out.
In an uncharacteristic quiet voice, Temari ordered a bowl of pork ramen from the singularly unattractive waiter then cast her partner a wary glance. Fiddling with the edge of her short purple skirt, (her typical black dress was still rolled up in a ball at the bottom of the bathroom locker), the girl cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak.
After a few moments of staring at the heap of green spandex that was her mission partner, Temari felt a light breeze drift across her stomach as the air conditioning system clicked on. Glancing down, she saw more of herself than she was expecting. With a muffled gasp, she turned around and hurriedly fastened the robe shut, a bright blush creeping across the back of her neck.
"What did you order, Lee-san?" She said awkwardly, having decided to completely wipe the embarrassing experience from earlier out of her psyche. The youth glanced up from his soup, ready to dodge the female's fist. When it became apparent to him that she wasn't out to bash his skull in for getting a gander at her goodies, he answered her. "Ah… It is the house special, wonton soup."
Temari gave the soup a quick once over before raising an eyebrow. "If it's wonton soup, why is the broth that strange red color?" "I added a few spoonfuls of hot-sauce to it. It gives the soup more flavor. The only downside to adding the jalapeno sauce to the soup is tha-"
Just then, a loud grumbling sound flooded the room and to Temari's chagrin and Lee's horror, the other patrons of the café turned to stare at the source of the noise. Scooting to the edge of his chair, the flushed brunette curled over the tabletop, gripping at the gum covered underside.
It appeared that the downside of the hot-sauce was not just powerful, but was also fast acting.
Panting harshly he gave the blonde a quick, pained look before rushing past the pockmarked waiter and into the Men's Room. A few moments later, the monste…server arrived and placed the steaming bowl of ramen on the table.
Slowly, the other patrons returned to their own meals and conversations, a few of the overly curious ones earning a hearty glare from the lone inhabitant of the table. As she turned around and reached for her chopsticks, the waiter slipped a piece of shiny paper under the regular cutlery near the empty seat and with a bow, crept away.
Hopefully to hide his face in a dark corner of the room.
Mouth still full of pork and scraggly noodles, the curious Temari reached over and plucked the paper off the crimped green tablecloth. She cast a quick glance at the numbers on the bill and promptly spit out her entire mouthful of ramen. Grabbing a napkin, she began to pat her chest and tablecloth dry as she furiously waved the maître d' over.
As the absurdly large man made his way over to her table, the blonde watched his too tight jacket stretch every time his arms moved and gripped her butter knife a little tighter, ready to deflect any flying buttons. Breaking her gaze from his chest, she motioned to the check and whispered accusingly,
"I don't know what your boss is trying to pull, but that charge is way too high for a bowl of wonton soup and pork ramen. Your normal customers may not notice false charges on their bills, but I am not a normal customer!"
Flinching back slightly as the angry girl slammed her fist lightly on the table, sending the soup sloshing onto the tablecloth, he answered, "Might I ask what the false charges are, madam?"
"Right here baka! This charge for Shao's Special Sake, I didn't order any sake and my partner, the dumbass, probably doesn't even know what sake is!" She snarled, eyes narrowing dangerously.
Unconsciously backing up a half step, the large man raised his hands in a defensive gesture and muttered apologetically that he would ask the waiter why the flask of alcohol had been added to the bill.
As she waited for the maitre'd's return, Temari did a quick survey of the room. There were two small families sitting near one another in the left corner of the room, the young children throwing bits of food at each other. Nearby, a tall, thin woman and her short escort, obviously her brother by the similarity of their features, were sitting in a booth chomping away amiably at their seafood.
For a brief second, sadness flashed through the young woman's eyes. Her own family had never been close. Sure, she had grown up in the same area as Kankuro, but they had never really shared any real sibling love. The two had been raised separately, each growing and learning from the special Jounin that were masters in their own respective techniques.
Thinking back, she had only seen her middle brother five times before Gaara was born. Three times at the bi-monthly family dinners their mother insisted upon having, once when she had run into him on the street before being dragged away by her sensei, and once when she and her mother and her uncle had visited him in the hospital after he had fallen and broken his arm.
Her father, the Kazekage at the time, had seriously disapproved of the visit, chiding his wife and brother-in-law that visiting the boy while he was in the hospital for such a minor injury would make him soft. Then, Gaara was born and their mother died.
The family dinners stopped abruptly and the only time she saw her brothers was when their caretakers brought them in to give reports of the siblings' progress to the Kazekage or when she was forced to spar with one of them. When she was eight, the three children were assigned to the same team, much to the disapproval of their father who said that he wanted at least one of his normal offspring to survive so that his genes would be carried on.
Her hand tightened subconsciously on her glass of water sending spider web cracks along the bottom. His normal children. As if Gaara was some sort of evil being that would spawn two headed lizards with its mate.
"Ah, it appears that we have found the reason for the price discrepancy." Temari dropped the cup as if was on fire. A little too sharply she turned to face the maitre'd, disturbed that she hadn't heard him walk up to the table.
"Your partner, ordered the Shao's Special Sake. He told us that his teammates would foot the bill and then he pointed towards you two." As the girl's gaze followed the direction of the man's pointing finger her anger flared.
"That is not my teammate! I don't even know his name!Fine, Damnit! I'll sort this out, you just take that charge off of our check," she snarled as she got up and marched across the room to where the man from before was sitting precariously in his chair, the two front legs up in midair.
Slamming her hands down on the table hard, she gave him a scalding glare and hissed, "Just what the hell are you trying to pull?"
He gave her a coy look before brushing a hand through his silver hair. "Well, what the fuck can I say? I'm old school, seriously. Before anyone gets me fuck naked in a bath with them, I at least want one shitty drink, and since you and I took a little dip in the tub and I didn't get jack shit beforehand, I felt you owed me a little something."
"What the hell are you talking about?! You got into the goddamn tub after me! IT WAS THE WOMEN'S BATH ASSHOLE!"
A huge grin stretched across his face as he watched the pretty young woman rage. "Holy Shit! Would you stop being such a tight wad? I mean, it's not my fault you didn't get out of the water when I got in, seriously."
"Excuse me…I have your sake here…"The waiter timidly whispered as though afraid that the ninjas would turn on him. For a few seconds the blood left Temari's face before flushing back up to the surface as she reached a new depth of anger.
"No…you, put that on that table over there! See the one? With the two bowls? GO!" She hissed, nearly throwing the unfortunate man to her table. "Whoa, what the fuck did you do that for bitch?!"
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Lee let the toilet seat drop shut with a clunk as he turned to leave the stall, feeling much better (yes, yes he did flush). Stretching as he approached the sink, he silently thanked the heavens he was not the poor soul who had to clean the bathrooms after his visit.
A few minutes later he left the bathroom and returned to an empty table, looking around curiously when he saw no signs of Temari anywhere. With a sigh, he sat down and glanced at the tall pitcher sitting in the middle of the table.
The other waiters were carrying similar water jugs so he filled his empty glass to the brim with the clear liquid and took a long swig.
Three things happened very quickly. One: Lee finally caught sight of Temari. Two: As he got up to go talk to her his world blacked out. Three: Everyone in the café turned to stare at the young brunette as he put his fist through the table.
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After incapacitating two chefs, the waiter, the tall woman, and the maitre 'd Lee was finally captured through the joint efforts of Hidan and Temari. Both of whom were sitting in front of the very angry, very short innkeeper.
"Do you even realize how much damage your teammate did to my inn?! Eighteen tables snapped in half! Four of the wait staff debilitated! I'll have to hire replacements! One of our most valued customers was punched out! She could sue us!"
"WOAH! Hey, that asshole is not my fucking teammate. Neither is Blondie over there! I'm just an innocent bystander! Seriously!"
"What do you mean Wasei? Of course you're our partner! We couldn't have a team without you!"
Hidan shot the smirking Temari a death glare from behind the icepack he was holding to the side of his face. The little green twerp had surprised him by throwing a dish and had landed a good hit.
"First off my name isn't fucking Wasei, it's Hidan! H-I-D-A-N! And second off, I'm not on your fucking team!"
"Stop lying to yourself Was-"
"Listen, I don't care if you're on the same team or not, you know the rules of the inn and you have to pay for the damages! A charge of three million yen will be added to each of your tabs!"
"Three million yen?! NO FUCKING WAY ARE YOU GETTING THAT MUCH MONEY FROM ME ASSHOLE!"
"No wonder you have such expensive furnishings here, you not only overcharge your customers but your estimates for the damages are way overpriced. These damages are maybe worth two hundred thousand yen, and that's a high estimate."
"That is what I'm charging you regardless! Now get back to your rooms before I have you all escorted there! And if there is anymore damage…I will double your bill!"
Hidan and Temari exchanged angry glances before the young woman got up and strutted out of the room, stopping to throw the restrained man over her shoulder. Hidan gave the innkeeper one last glare before stomping out of the room, silently dreading Kakuzu's reaction to the news that on top of the room price, they would have to pay three million yen to the inn.
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Okay, I am back. It has been awhile…chapter 5 of The Art of Terror is under way…I've just been lazy…anyway, for those of you who are wondering, Wasei means sister boy in Japanese (it's the equivalent to sissy)…umm in other news I was absolutely stunned by the number of reviews the first chapter received! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! IN FACT OUTDO YOURSELVES WITH THIS CHAPTER! My goal is to get 50 reviews before chapter four…ok so I hope you like chapter 2 of The Desert Flower, the Clone, and the Holyman. As a heads up, the next chapter will have Kakuzu x Temari, Hidan x Temari, and maybe even some more Lee x Temari. CHEERIO!