Humoresque Chapter Five.
Author's notes: People seem to like this, so I'll keep writing it. For Savanna this time, because she pwns.
Two Hour's After The Meeting
"Hey, Boss!"
"What Xigbar?" An exasperated Xemnas scowled, his chest still hanging out of his jacket, looking rather…whorish.
"What did happen to you, dude?"
"None of your business," The Superior growled, walking away from Number Two in a way that could only be described as 'stomping'. He was halfway down the corridor when another pestering nobody strolled in the same general direction as the ill-fated leader of Organization XIII.
"Rough night, mate?" Luxord smirked. "We had bets going, you know," He said, counting money in his right hand and shuffling cards in his left.
Xemnas growled and sent two Dusks on him. Luxord without blinking summoned his Gamblers to finish them off, still following poor Xemnas.
"Just to make sure I won the bet," He smiled a shit-eating grin. "Did you finally get with Larxene?"
"No. Please leave my bodily vicinity," Xemnas bit.
"Personal bubble, eh? C'mon Cricket, you didn't have a problem with that last night," He smirked as Xigbar portaled his head out of the top of the ceiling, walking with them execpt upside down.
"Well Boss? Who'd you shag?" Xigbar umphed as his lower half of his body hit a bookshelf, books tumbling all over his legs. He winced when a particularly large tome hit him on the buttocks. "Ohhhh, Zexy is so not going to be happy with this." But yet, he continued.
"I didn't shag anyone! I had a…bad fight with a heartless." Lies. Lies were good.
"Whatever you say, Boss," Luxord shrugged, summoning a rather well placed Portal of Darkness ™, leaving the Bossman with Xigbar who, when he heard the pitter patter of what he called 'Angry Zexy Footsteps'™ He stepped into it, giving Xemnas a brief wave and a smirk. Oh, was Larxene gonna hear about this.
Pause.
"Dammit," Xemnas swore, summoning a portal of his own, hoping he didn't meet with the resident dipshits in the corridor of darkness.
And where was Saix all this time? Well, it's a funny story, actually….
--Break—
Chapter Five Part Two.
Saix sat in his big windowed room, staring at Kingdom Hearts in a state of zen, Emo music blaring through his wall speakers. Ever since Demyx bought him the CDs, he's been cooped up in angsty bliss. Also, he scurried out of the meeting before anyone but Axel saw the love bites his Superior gave him last night.
Xemnas…
Oh! The chorus!
"CRAWLIIIINNG IN MY SKIIIIN! THESE WOUUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEEALLLL-"
"Saix!" The door slammed open, and a very disheveled Vexen barged in, looking well… disheveled. Saix cocked an eyebrow.
"The asylum finally let you go?" He ventured, lounging onto his back.
"Very funny," Vexen retorted, a smile playing upon his lips. "This is serious."
Saix sat up. The fact that Vexen was abroad made things serious.
"What is it, Vexen?"
"Where's the Superior?!"
Saix's eyes widened considerably.
"Why?"
"Its about hearts!"
"What?" Saix whispered in sudden intrigue.
Xemnas portaled behind him.
"What about hearts?" He said darkly, mostly for the purpose of making Vexen piss his pants. The Superior was just spiteful that way.
"Feelings! Don't come from the heart! They come from-"
"The brain, yes Vexen. We know. Its just that we've lost our metaphorical hearts, therefore-"
"No, you big fat imbicile! Listen! You all…You've lost the part of your brain that allows you to feel!"
"We know, Vexen!"
"I'm not done yet! However, some members, after looking at the monthly CAT scan images, are starting to develop that region of the brain."
"Assemble the others." Xemnas ordered.
"No way," Saix breathed. He did so wish he was one of the ones with their brain being fixed.
"I'm not your bitch," Vexen mumbled.
"You are, until I say you're not," Xemnas said none too lightly.
"Yes sir." Vexen said submissively, chanting voodoo death threats under his breath as he left.
They were all alone.
"Saix…" Xemnas whispered seductively.
"Superior?" He deadpanned, as usual.
"We do have some time before the meeting…" Smile. Saix caught on.
"Do we now?" Saix smirked, leaning in to sink into his Superior's arms. Xemnas attacking him with a forceful, powerful kiss.
The two toppled to the floor.
--break—
Author's Notes:
If you haven't read How I Paid for College by The Writer Triumphant. Do so. Now. Anyways, hint- there will be some AkuRoku fluffies in the next chapter, so be happy!! For some reason, that pairing is very hard to write, so it has been pawned off on Savanna teh coauthor. (pwned, pwned, pwned) If any of you caught the allution to the Ansem Retort in there. You have as much freetime as I do.