Kill Me Romantically.
"Hehehe!" The Joker giggled as he sat on the railing of Gotham's highest building. He lovingly stroked the black cat in his arms. It had a missing patch of skin on its back. It wouldn't take long now. After the note and 'present' he had left, the Clown Prince of Crime was certain the cat would come.
And then he'd be able to test out the world's oldest myth.
The wind blew through the Joker's green curls and chilled him through his purple coat. He let out a whistle and sang, "Tick tock, tick tock, you better run kitty cat, don't walk!"
"I'm here clown." Catwoman appeared on the rooftop. She was glaring at the Joker's smiling face as she held up the plastic bag containing the cat's missing piece with the letter J written in dripping blood. "Give me my cat back." She snarled and took a step forward.
"Ah, ah, ah!" The Joker's smile grew wider as he held the cat by its neck just over the edge of the building. "Not an inch closer kitty or the cat gets it! Hahaha!"
"What do you want?" Catwoman asked. Her heart thundered in her ears at the sight of her precious cat squirming in the Joker's fingers.
"Oooh, straight to the point!" The Joker shook his head. "That's no fun- no fun at all!" His smile faded into a grim glare. "Tell me Catwoman, do you know why I have your pussy dangling over all of Gotham?"
"Because you're insane."
The Joker let out a loud laugh and threw his head back. "Haha quite right, but no that isn't all of it. You're trying to steal something that I've had my eye on for a while now. This is just my payback…" The Joker grinned. "And reassurance that you wont ever go after him again."
"Joker, who—" Catwoman stiffened when the Joker started to sing.
"Four little fingers standing up tall," His grip loosened. Catwoman held her breath. What could she do? "Two little ears to head mummy's call." The Joker's green eyes flashed with a devious intention.
The wall holding Catwoman's self control cracked a bit.
"One little nose that I can blow," The Joker's eyes never left Catwoman as he let one of his fingers go. "Four tiny toes all in a row!"
Another finger released the cat.
Catwoman could feel the sweat drizzle down the back of her neck.
"A little tail that wiggles up and down…"
Catwoman took a step forward. Her wall was crumbling fast.
"Four little feet to stamp on the ground," The Joker tried his hardest not to laugh as he let another finger go and Catwoman gave a small shriek. "Teeth to chew and eyes to see…"
The Joker let the black cat go and its owner let out a loud cry as she leapt off the roof and tried to save him. The Joker gave a fake gasp and watched as Catwoman fell to her demise.
Splat!
"What fun it is to be me! HAHAHA!" The Joker bent his head backwards and howled into the night. He slapped the cold railing and his laughter started to die down a bit.
"Hmm… Turns out cats don't land on their feet. Damn those stupid old wives and their stories! No wonder their husbands never come home!" The Joker cupped his hands beside his mouth and shouted to the streets below him, "Sorry pussycat! Wave your tail if you're all right!" The Joker laughed at his joke and dusted his coat off. "Ew cat hair."
He leaped off the railing he was sitting on and walked towards the door to the stairs.
Now for my Batsy. He grinned.
Harley crept into the jewelry store and quietly looked around. "It must be here somewhere!" She hissed. "Mistah J will love it!" She smiled. "And me once I give it to him!"
Harley had been tipped off that there was a new piece in the jewelry store; a joker pendant with rubies, periods, diamonds, and amethysts.
Amethysts just happened to be her puddin's favorite gem of all.
She looked everywhere for it, but to no avail. Her black eyes flickered to a gold crown shining brilliantly in its gold case. Harley gasped and ran over to it. The diamonds embedded inside shone like a nightlight inside the dark store.
"Mistah J will love this too!" She cried. Harley took a moment to think of his reaction.
Harley handed her love the crown she successfully stole for him. "Mistah J I stole this for ya!"
The Joker blushed and looked absolutely stunned. "Harley…" His hands carefully took the crown in them and he placed it on top of his beautiful head.
"Now you really are the Clown Prince of Crime!" Harley exclaimed.
The Joker let out a loud laugh. "Wonderful Harley!" He cupped her face in his gloved hands and whispered softly, "Thank you so much…"
The Joker leaned in as Harley closed her eyes and—
Harley let out a loud, happy squeal as she blushed madly at her own thoughts. She licked her lips and placed her hands on either side of the glass case.
"I believe that sign out in front of the store reads closed." Came a voice.
Harley stiffened and looked over her shoulder. "Batman?!"
Batman slowly walked up to Harley and said darkly, "You won't get out of here with that."
"Just watch me!" Harley quickly turned back to the case, broke it open with her fist, winced, and reached in to grab her prize.
But Batman grabbed both of her wrists in both hands. He twisted them backwards and slapped cuffs on. "You're coming with me."
"H-Hey wait! How'd you get here so fast anyways?! I didn't trip any alarms!"
A smirk flashed past Batman's face as he yanked Harley outside of the store. "Did you really think there was a joker pendant here?"
Realization dawned on Harley's face and she started to scream and kick. "You tricked me! You sent that note! Get your hands offa' me!! Take these cuffs off!"
"I'll take them off when we get to Arkham." Batman threw Harley roughly into his car and went to the other side to get in. He slammed the door and glared at her. She squeaked and fell silent.
"He'll never love you." Batman hissed.
Harley turned whiter than her makeup. "Wha-What?"
"He doesn't, and will never, belong to you." Batman stiffly turned to look out the windshield and sped off.
As they drove, Harley looked at her lap and thought about what Batman said. He'll never belong to me? Who…?
Her head picked up and she turned to Batman. "You mean Mistah J?"
Batman's glare deepened.
Harley gasped, "That's why you did this?! You want me outta the way don't'cha? So you can make your move—"
"That's enough!" Batman bellowed.
Harley fell silent and looked back at her lap. She smiled secretly. Yell all ya' want… But when Mistah J finds out your little secret…
Batman's car screeched to a halt as they reached Arkham Asylum. He got out of the car and yanked Harley by her arm. The doors slammed opened and Batman threw her into an employee's arms.
"Here." He said simply. As he turned to leave, he saw Harley smile deviously at him. Batman looked at the man that was holding her and said, "Make sure she gets the electroshock therapy. She's gone off the edge."
"All right sir." Harley squeaked and started to scream and pull against the employee.
"I hate you Batman!" She screamed.
The doors of Arkham closed behind the Dark Knight and he gave a shaky sigh. If the Joker ever found out how Batman felt…
It would certainly lead to his demise.