Eric was busy fixing some sort small dinner before his mother would arrive. He hoped that Horatio would make it home before his mother, because he hadn't yet had the chance to tell him about his mother's little trip to the lab. The door bell rang and startled Eric. He walked out of the kitchen and in to the hallway. He hoped that it wasn't his mother being there early. He opened the door and was greeted by a smiling Ryan and Valera.
"Hey Delko, may we come in?-alright thank you." Ryan said quickly and moved with Valera inside the hallway.
Eric closed the door and looked confused at Ryan and Valera.
"Am I missing something here?" Eric asked.
"Nope, not really. We just came here to tell you about this great idea we got." Ryan smiled.
Eric motioned for them to move into the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" Valera asked pointing at the stove, with a boiling kettle on it.
"Just a small dinner, pasta." Eric said, "So why are you here?"
"Well, you know your mother-don't-know-that-I'm-gay problem?" Ryan asked. Eric nodded.
"Well, you see, we came up with this idea to let Valera play your girlfriend." Ryan smiled.
"No, guys. Look I can't hide who I am forever from my parents." Eric said.
"True, but you don't want to ruin H's birthday, do you?" Valera asked, "I mean, it wouldn't be fun if you started the celebration in a bad mood because of your mother."
Eric sighed, "Good point, but… but, I really think I should tell my mom."
"How do you think she's going to react?" Ryan asked.
"She's going to freak. I know that it's going to be a tragedy for her, and that it might be a bad timing, but I have to tell her someday." Eric said.
"It's not only a bad timing. It's a horrendously-super-horrible bad timing!" Ryan exclaimed, "She's probably going to take it out on H."
"Think about it Eric. We all know that she will definitely be pissed at H too. It's going to kill his mood, and he doesn't deserve it. Not today." Valera said.
Eric shook his head, "H would have approved to my decision if he was here right now."
Ryan sighed, "That's only because H only want's what's best for you! He would never put his feelings first, and you know it."
"We've been hiding long enough." Eric said. He wanted to tell his parents. No, he needed to. The longer he was hiding from them, the more it would hurt for them. He wasn't really expecting Ryan and Valera to understand. They were both straight and didn't have religious and old fashioned parents, that expected a hundred grandkids.
"You know that you parent's reactions are going to hurt Horatio." Ryan said, "Look, it's just for today."
Eric sighed, "I can't. Really, guys."
"Have you even told H yet?" Valera asked.
Eric shook his head.
"Your mother is going to be here in fifteen minutes. And Horatio isn't here." Ryan said.
"He'll be here soon." Eric said.
"No, he won't. The meeting went over time. It won't end until maybe, an hour or so." Valera said, "Please, Eric, it's just one day."
"Oh, yeah? Do you realize how hard it's going to be to explain why I had a fake girlfriend for one day? I mean, my mother doesn't exactly listen to reasons. She going to see it as if I hurt her and so on." Eric said, annoyed.
"What is most important to you? ´Cause it's either hurting H or your mom." Ryan said.
"Oh come on! I don't have to choose." Eric growled.
"Yes, you do." Ryan said.
"One day, Eric. Just this one day." Valera reminded.
Eric sighed. Why was this such a hard choice?
"Alright, alright! Fine, Valera can play my girlfriend." Eric said.
"Good choice." Ryan said, "Now I'm going to leave you turtledoves alone and I'll see you later."
Ryan quickly left. Valera sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. She watched Eric fix the food.
"I'm a little surprised as to how you agreed to this, Valera." Eric said, "I mean, you always tell people not to lie."
"I know, but this is an exception." she said, "I just don't want to ruin H's birthday. If it was the opposite, I would have forced Horatio to agree to the same thing."
"Yeah, but I don't like the fact that Horatio doesn't know yet." Eric said. Valera was about to say something when the doorbell rang.
Eric moved to open the door, and this time it was his mother outside. She squealed as she saw Eric and hugged him hard, clinging around his neck.
"Oh my little baby!" she exclaimed, "I've missed you so much!"
"Mom… mom… mom I need air." Eric choked, and his mother released him.
She walked inside and started babbling about how much she missed Eric and how she still had kept his room at the house. So when ever he wanted to come and visit, he could sleep in his old room. As Raquel came into the kitchen she saw Valera and squealed again.
"Oh you must be the woman that has made a real man out of my baby!" she exclaimed and hugged Valera.
Valera hugged back and laughed. "That's me."
Raquel stepped away from Valera and looked her up form head to toe.
"Well, you are beautiful! That means you're going to get beautiful kids!" Raquel smiled, "It's important you know, the way you look."
Eric felt the urge to strangle his mother. Everything was about the looks for her. She was so honest that she could tell someone loud and clear that they had an ugly child. Eric put the food on some plates and placed them at the table. Everybody sat down and started eating. Well, Valera and Eric were eating, while Raquel talked.
"I hope you have good eggs my dear, I am expecting you to have children." Raquel smiled at Valera.
Valera's eyes widened, was this woman serious? She was actually making up plans for her sons life. Deciding how many children they should have and so on.
"At least four, please. Big family's are good." Raquel said, "And I'm thinking that you two should get married soon."
Eric rolled his eyes. He wondered why his mother wanted to decide so much in his life, but didn't give a damn about his sisters lives. Was it because he was the only son? And according to her old fashioned way a son was more worth than a daughter? He had never asked her that, because the woman would just never shut up.
"And you shouldn't buy pets either. They can hurt the children, and always remember it's children, not kids." Raquel said. She sounded so serious that Valera thought she would soon pull up a scrapbook for wedding pictures. Valera sometimes glanced at Eric and his eyes told her that he understood that she wanted to kill the lady.
"Mom!" Eric suddenly said aloud, "In case you haven't asked yet, this is Maxine Valera, my girlfriend."
Raquel smiled at Valera, "Maxine Valera? Oh dear, you should change the name, it sound too boyish."
Valera gaped at her pretend mother-in-law. Change her name?
"To what exactly? Stick-it-up-your-ass? Valera asked. She just couldn't resist it.
The look on Raquel's face was comical. She gaped at Valera and gasped, "Did I just hear a curse in a house blessed by the lord?" Raquel asked.
Valera once again, couldn't stop herself, "No, you heard a curse in the house built by Lucifer himself!"
Eric quickly put a hand over Valera's mouth. "Valera! Mom! Just stop for a second." He said.
Raquel glared at Valera. According to her Valera was now nothing but trash and she had to be disposed of as soon as possible.
"Where did you find this woman? A trash yard?" Raquel asked.
Valera's eyes widened, she tried to move Eric's hand away form her mouth, but he didn't let go.
"No, mother! I found her… at a… at a sort of… party." Eric stammered.
Raquel looked at him and shook her head. Eric moved his hand away from Valera's mouth and glared at her. His eyes begged her not to say anything stupid.
"Mrs. Delko. I'm sorry for my inappropriate behavior. It was not right." Valera said. Eric sighed, his mother always liked apologies.
"Please call me Raquel. I forgive you dear." Raquel smiled. She had won the fight, Valera had given up.
"Do you have any name suggestions?" Valera asked, trying to look serious.
"Would you really change you name for my boy's sake?" Raquel asked, stunned.
Valera nodded, "Of course. I don't want to be mean and our children should not feel bad because their mother has a strange name." Valera smiled. She felt the urge to puke all over Raquel with her designer clothes and attitude. But she could survive for one night with the hag. Oh, she just wanted to scream, "Hag! Hag! Hag!". But she didn't. She just had to get through an hour and then everything would be fine.
-I-
Eric had expected his mother to leave before six. However, it was now six thirty and his mother was still in his house. Horatio would come home any minute and he had to think of some sort of explanation for his mother as to why his boss lived at his house. Unknown to Eric, Valera was thinking the exact same thing. Raquel kept on babbling about her family history and how every man in the family had taken over the family business. She made sure to mark the words "taken over the family business" to show just how much she disliked Eric's choice of work.
"So, I hope you two are not having sex?" Raquel changed the subject.
Eric sighed, his mother was at it again. Every time he had brought home a girl, his mother would talk about how they could not have sex before marriage.
Valera looked at Eric with a look that said "is she serious?", Eric's look back said, "yes".
"Because you cannot have sex before you are married." Raquel said.
"Well, we haven't had sex yet. We both understand that we are not alowed." Valera smiled.
Raquel smiled back and pinched Valera's cheeks, "Oh, I'm so glad you understand, but why are you sitting so far from each other? It doesn't look like you two are in love."
Eric moved closer to Valera and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. Valera wrapped one of her arms around Eric's waist.
"Better." Raquel smiled. Valera sighed, could this woman be any more annoying? Valera would probably need a long vacation after this night.
"Well, I better get going." Raquel said, "It's been nice meeting you two, but I have to go home now." she stood up and moved towards the door. Eric and Valera were quick to follow, they wanted to make sure that she actually got out, and fast. Raquel opened the door, and missed seeing the hummer that pulled up on the driveway and into the garage. Valera and Eric still stood in the doorway, still acting like they were in love.
"How about you show me some love, before I leave?" Raquel smiled. It was as if she wanted proof that Valera and Eric were together.
Eric looked at Valera and she nodded. They didn't see Horatio standing in the corner of the garage. Eric kissed Valera quickly and smiled at his mother.
"Good, now I'm sure." Raquel said and waved as she walked back to her car, which she had parked out on the street.
Eric and Valera sighed as she drove away and Horatio walked towards them.
"Who was that?" Horatio asked.
Eric sighed, he had some explaining to do. Valera tried to sneak away, but Eric grabbed her arm.
"Oh no, you talked me into to this and you're going to help me explain." Eric said.
The three of them moved inside the house and into the kitchen. The time was now six forty.
"Eric we have to be at Alfredo's at seven." Horatio said.
"I know." Eric said, "Okay, H, that was my mother."
Horatio's eyes widened. Why had Eric not let him met her?
"I'll make it a fast version." Valera said, "That hag doesn't know that Eric is gay and living with you. She would not approve because of her old fashioned way and religion. So Ryan and I came over here and talked Eric into letting me play his girlfriend." Valera said.
"Why not just tell her the truth?" Horatio asked.
"Because I didn't want to ruin your birthday. I didn't want us to celebrate in a bad mood. Trust me, my mom will freak when she finds out about us." Eric said, "I'm sorry H."
Horatio smiled and kissed Eric, "Eric, I'm not mad. I understand why you did it."
Eric smiled, "Good, but don't worry. We're going to tell her."
Valera sighed, "Okay, good. Everything's good. Let's get to Alfredo's."
Eric and Horatio laughed and moved out of the house. They had a birthday to celebrate. It was when they were inside a hummer that Eric realized he still hadn't bought a gift for his lover. Eric sighed, why was it so hard to by a gift for H?
-I-
There was a lot of noise in one of the corners in Alfredo's restaurant. Eric and Horatio were there, together with Valera, Tyler, Ryan, Natalia, Alexx, Frank, Calleigh, Cooper, and Eric's sisters.
"Whoa, whoa! Wait a minute, she actually told you that you had to change your name?" Eric's sister Maya asked Valera.
Valera had told everybody about the meeting with Raquel and now there was nothing else to talk about.
"Yeah!" Valera said, "I mean, how evil isn't that?"
Eric's sister Carla laughed, "Oh my god, that is so our mom! She expects every girl to be named Britney and every guy to be named Daniel now a days."
"Sometimes she's so old fashioned that is scares me." Maya said, "I mean she needs to get laid or something."
Everybody laughed, and clapped their hands at Mayas words.
"But what did you tell her then?" Alexx asked.
Valera chuckled, "I asked her if my new name should be Stick-it-up-your-ass!"
"Way to go girl!" Maya said, "Horatio, if you feel like you want to hit our mother in the head or something when you meet her, feel free!"
If there were anyone who knew about Raquel's evil manners it were Eric's sisters. They never seemed to be good enough for their mother, while their father never said much about anything. The oldest sister, Trish, had once come to the conclusion that the reason their mother so badly wanted to have sons instead of daughters was because she thought that their father wanted it. Her mission in life seemed to be to fill her husbands every wish.
"If mama want's to make dad happy, she just stop wasting his money on things that will only make her look older instead of younger." Maya said. Maya, was the sister that always spoke her mind. She was much like her mother in that way, but Maya would never be mean.
"But was she always like that?" Calleigh asked.
"Oh no, she used to be normal." Trish said, "But that was before every one of us moved out."
"Yeah, remember she said she has still saved our rooms just the way they were when we left?" Carla asked.
"Hell yeah, she probably still have out first diapers framed up in the house." Maya laughed.
Everybody laughed and couldn't agree less to the wonderful statements from Maya.
"Now, Valera, I know that you can get in a very bad mood when someone says something stupid to you. Let me ask you something, did you by any chance mention Lucifer in Raquel's presence?" Alexx asked. She knew that Raquel hated any mentioning of the devil.
Valera smile, "Oh yeah! I said that Eric's house was the house built by Lucifer himself!
Everybody laughed and clapped their hands.
"Oh my, mom is going to try and drive the demons out from you, just wait and see." Maya chuckled.
After a while, the birthday cake was brought to the table and placed in front of Horatio. There were 46 candles on it and the cake was three stories.
"Now don't you go and wish anything dirty." Trish joked.
Horatio blushed and everybody chuckled. Trish smiled at Frank and he cursed as he took out twenty bucks from his wallet.
"I bet against her. I said she couldn't get H to blush." Frank explained.
"Never ever, bet against Trish." Ryan smiled.
"Yeah you should know Ryan." Trish laughed. Now that really got everybody's attention.
"He bet against me once and said that I couldn't get that Rick Stetler guy to squeal like a girl, he lost of course and Ryan had to run around my parents house butt naked and sing the national anthem." Trish said, and Ryan blushed. When Ryan blushed, Trish turned towards Natalia.
"Now you owe me ten bucks." Trisha smiled and Natalia handed her the money.
"Did you all bet something with someone?" Eric asked.
"Yeah." Frank said, he turned towards Maya, "I bet that you would say that. Thank you Eric, you just won me ten bucks."
Horatio was chuckling the whole time. If there was one thing that the Delko sisters loved to do it was to bet with his team.
"Now, blow out the candles." Maya smiled.
Horatio took a deep breath and managed to blow out 38 candles at the same time. He took another deep breath and blew out the rest. After that everybody started to eat from the cake.
TBC…
AN: Eric's sisters are based on two of my friendsJ
Please review! I love reviews! I hope no one gets pissed by the way I'm portraying Raquel Delko. J